scotsberto
106468
2145
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A Scottish Joke
Dec 8, 2016 6:25 PM
scotsberto
106468
2145
67
Jumpsteady22
Canada gently nestled between U.S.A. and Russia
copingcabana
"Are you ladies from Scotland?" "WALES you drunken sot!" "Sorry, are you whales from Scotland?"
InTheDistanceAPlaintiveEnglishHorn
How did God created Scotland with Scots already in it if they migrated there? Why not brave women and fine men?
ArtOzz
https://media.giphy.com/media/v2Mkppa5Lrspa/giphy.gif - :P
NinjaSpork
"...and then there's the cuisine"
DoubleChungTransplant
Heard a similar joke from a Mexican "This land is too perfect won't its people take over the world?" God: "Nah I'm filling it with Mexicans"
happxest
Norway only really has sweden. Don't connect too much with finland and russia. we're good
t0mn8r
lol
JaredKidd
@option I'd argue against this but England voted for Brexit, sooooo yeah.....
Chivatha
my favorite scottish joke.
Headida
Jesus another happy, well balanced Jock. How terrible it would be if they grew a pair and left the UK.
BeesechurgerProductions
Wow, god forbid someone make a joke around you!
Autisticscreechingintensifies
The Irish in me hates you right now.
Basslicks
Too many "Irish in you" jokes...
thelovechildofhitlerandstalin
Up in Canada we have the US on two sides, Russia on the other side of the ice rink, and Denmark/Greenland who always want Hans island! Feck
Kaler
In Belgium we have something similar about France. After creating it, God can't sleep fearing people will spoil it. So he created the French
V3role
And no one can sleep now, with the French being loud all the fucking time. The constant bigotry and racism aren't great either.
TheQuestionFewpeopledoFeweventhinktoaskthequestion
that's because there radios in german and they've been posting for more 52 weeks in a row
themexicanwave
As individuals the English are fine. As a nation... bunch of fuckin cunts.
Psychosceptic
I'm kind of a cunt as an individual too though mate.
somethingprofound
I met some Englishmen abroad and to be honest, most of them were cunts as individuals as well. And the Americans get a bad rap...
shimmernshine
The ones that can afford to go to Europe are usually some of our better. Never go to Alabama.
atleticoparanaense
Nice cool weather ?
DubbieDubbie
Well, our climates no bad. A bit chilly but good for crops and no chance of a drought any time soon. And we don't get tsunamis, tornadoes.
pachyderm
and their winters...
themuttonisniceandlean
My uncle spent one winter in Saskatchewan and returned to Scotland. Canadian winters are worse.
EnigmaticalMe
Naah, in central Scotland winters are okay. Not much snow, an inch or two, and hangs around 0 degrees so its not that bad.
pachyderm
i'm going by al the football games that PP'ed...
kiwiflavored
"Beautiful music". Yeah, right. BAWEEEDWEEAAAMOOO
themuttonisniceandlean
It's like stepping on a cow in heat that has a megaphone.
RainbowSixSiegeAddict
Can't be screwed getting the old google out and finding the answer, so tell me - what country is next to goddamn Scotland?
MortuusSum
England, man. England.
RainbowSixSiegeAddict
Thanks, I'm a geography failure.
MortuusSum
Haha, no worries. We've all been there.
azazyel
Yes England, Scotland's Mexico
apolloin
If Mexico was richer and more successful, aye.
WeaseloftheNight
I like to consider the north of England more similar to Scotland, than it is to the south of England. The fucken southern fairies
radikalskippy
As a Mexican... Hey!
BioticGod
What does that make us Welsh then? We just have mountains and a better hidden drinking problem.
NoCoconutOnlyPineapple
UK's Florida?
Morg729
Scotland:England::Canada:US
DaChronisseur
Hence Nova Scotia.
themuttonisniceandlean
Except there's already a wall.
MiguelMigs
Literally crying ????
TheDrySideOfThePenny
Except the wall doesn't run along the border it is much further south. I'm English but still north of the wall. Hadrian's wall that is.
scotsberto
My house is built on top of Antonines wall which runs through central belt of Scotland including Falkirk, my home town.
DanLamont
If you are in "England" and north of the wall then that land was taken
TheDrySideOfThePenny
Well not much further. Like 100 miles-ish.
YouMayFindThisMildlyInteresting
It's even less on the Carlisle side.
13thDukeofWybourne
Disappointing. I was expecting some Scottish, like
Thisseemsreasonable
Classic Moira.
SmokeMeAKipperIllBeBackForBreakfast
SirAndrewMaxwellDwyer
Now THAT is a Scottish joke.
AquaCrusher
"Am oan the protein" gets me everytime
jpweim
Ya fookin weapon!
hickorysmokedhorsebutthole
Understood that reference
pewpewpotato
I read this to my mum and boyfriend and they don't get it...my mum just said but you don't feed babies protein....
BendydickCumbersack
Dump your mom.
bigvox
I don't get it. Could someone explain it please. :/
pewpewpotato
Why the fuck ask babies stupid shit like. "You're getting big aren't you?" As if the little fucks gonna be like yes Moira you're right 1/2
pewpewpotato
I'm taking protein and getting jacked. 2/2
pewpewpotato
lol maybe its because they are both Canadian. Don't get the British humour
VoidIncarnate
Scotland is not British!
MrE158
Uh... yeah, it is. It's one of the constituent parts of Great Britain, and has been since the Acts of Union 1707.
pewpewpotato
If you don't consider yourself British then fine. Many English didn't consider themselves European before Brexit. Technically you are though
Flibbleboy
We're not that bad surely!
StonerCommenter
Which kiwi do you mean in your username; the fruit, the bird or the people?
Flibbleboy
Fruit and crumble like the pudding. It's really nice!
ThanosTaint
No, given our history we're much, much worse.
PliskinLivesInYorkshire
We might be and don't call me Shirley
Flibbleboy
You can't tell me what to do! You're not my real dad!
w00kinpanub
Trainspotting?
Flibbleboy
What about it?
XpuntasticX
You guys are the Americans of Europe lmao
Flibbleboy
YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU BASTARD!
framboise
Where do you think the Americans got it from?!
twigvex
I'm English, and we are a bunch of awful cunts with a chip on our shoulder who don't help each other out. The Scots are a shower of 1/2
twigvex
Moody argumentative bastards tho, to be fair. Great whisky tho, and a beautiful country. You can't knock them for that.
themuttonisniceandlean
Try asking a Scottish person that. There's a reason Scots are so gloriously creative with their bad language.
Flibbleboy
Just because of the English?
GingerSwan
Gan na Sasanach, beidh na hAlbacha ag caint as Gaeidhlig. (Sorry for broken Scots Gaelic, I'm Irish and tired, yere language is sorta diff.)
twigvex
That's what a Scot would tell you anyway.
themuttonisniceandlean
Yes.
Flibbleboy
:c
SithHaveBetterSex
India might have an opinion on that. Most of Africa too. The Irish, oh and those in the Caribbean
apolloin
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
TheQuestionFewpeopledoFeweventhinktoaskthequestion
Australia and new zealand would like to have a would why just dump us here killed the locals in aus but not the maori who fought back in NZ
themuttonisniceandlean
Pretty much any colony that's been treated like inferior garbage by the English, which is what, like 1/4 of the planet?
twigvex
We do get flack over it much more than the French, Belgians and Portuguese though.
TheQuestionFewpeopledoFeweventhinktoaskthequestion
dutch
SithHaveBetterSex
I haven't read up on the French that much. The Belgians should be German level ashamed.
TheQuestionFewpeopledoFeweventhinktoaskthequestion
not as much as the dutch