Josephyr
171994
3769
91
Rap battle
Bread or dead
Immediately
Do you still need it, hello you aren't you replying, hello....
Twitter Dump!
MyFrontPorchInMississippi
Honey bees are an invasive species in North America
LittlemissEm
I also have less than 10 nukes....
WeJumpedOutAWindow0815
The $25 bill one took me WAY too long
ChrisMcDude
The rhyme never said Humpty Dumpty was an egg
Nysjar
The first one sounds pretty awesome. It means the person can either manipulate sound waves or the human brain.
wowheylookdotcom
Choice cuts of dank twitter here kids.
preliminarian
Then he jerks his head away from the phantom whisper and breaks Prof. X’s nose
JamesSchmoe
upvoting the shit out of this, like so hard.
umikaloo
#1 That power would be dope for a stealth hero. can track you by ear. You could shoot someone and no-one would know whence the bullet came.
TwistedRock
Well done
Aranyszin
#7 - God - Now give them little hook needles on their asses. Angel - What? God - And make their vomit delicious. Angel - /facepalm
BookieeWookiee
So which is it? Do baby centaurs suck on the human or horse nipple?! Could they do either?
AlwaysUpvoteHappyChickens
I like.
MrCupcakeisallmine
My friend doesn’t understand the first one. I do, but just so he gets it straight from the source....
SomeDetroitGuy
Mutant ventriloquist
Badseedx3
His power is that he can throw his voice (it's out a very good mutant power).
celestedrake
Possibly only to the other ear. So limited voice throwing.
SolarPolarBear
#1 could potentially be very useful
QuartzPigeon
immersive dirty talk
ALittleScottishPenguinWithAGun
Yeah like when you're playing skyrim stealth run and use the throw voice shout to make people look the wrong way.
harley07babe
The ability to throw your voice could be super cool and disorienting. Superhero name would be The Ventriloquist.
DrunkSideOfTheMoon
Wasn't the last one basically the plot to an episode of Rocket Power?
eddiegillies
Yeah, the supermcvarial 900!
GREATEASYPIES
Yes and it turned out he did it cause a lawnmower shot out a tennis ball that hit the board just right.
Heidasaurus
Same
mthornton91
Not all heros wear capes.
AaronStack
#48 took me a long time
50ShadesOfBeige
please help me
50ShadesOfBeige
Thank you all, i'm learnt now
AaronStack
"sensory deprivation" "no sense"
Blrp0
sensory deprivation tank, makes no sense
thegraphiteknight
I'd totally eat at a restaurant called Feastiality.
Darthran
Is that the Japanese one that lets you sex the food first?
SuperSaiyanSasquatch
Oooh, I hope they serve tasticles!
needleandstrawberries
puddin151
aRootinaTootin
Most of the things you kids call memes do not fall under the definition of the word "meme".
heterochromiairidum
OK, but this isn't a meme dump, it's a twitter dump. Right there in the title, ffs.
MeleeIslandTourGuide
It's like they're some sort of memes-only Imgur subsect cult
SomeDetroitGuy
Personally, the best part of my day is when my kids yell "daddy" and run over for a hug.
Freakscar
Came down here for this comment. Same & Thanks. :)
PoIluticorn
I'm a step dad and it makes me feel like a million fucking dollars every time.
aubinmagnus
I'm not a father, but as an uncle, I feel the same when my nieces and nephews visit and yell "uncle!"
IStillGiveOutDickPics
the best part of my day is when your wife yells 'daddy' and runs over for a hug.
Kilsim1v
Best part of my day is when I hear my dog through the door stomping her feet in excitement as I fumble my keys equally excited after work.
warick
Yup, best feeling in the world.
urttraz
Used to be the best part of my day too until I wasn't allowed to see them anymore. :/
votress
as a mum that's the best part of my day too "tag you're it!"
mummybangles
So pure. Not a single downvote. Impressive in this place.
wreynor1
My kid use to do that. Now he's a teenager
RosencrantzNGuildensternNeverLived
Same with my mistress
Myowngrampa
Best part of my day is also when someone yells daddy
MargoMcKnew
FFS internet, i can only call my dad "dad", "daddo", "father", and "progenitor" now
GeneralAnubis
The offspring shall refer to me as PATRIARCH
SexualConsent
"My kids gonna have to call me 'bruh' or some shit"
VicksVapoRubSmellsNice
Jeff stands for Joint Evaluated Fission and Fusion File. It's to gather information on nuclear data.
earthfromorbit
Cool story.
bamablacksheep
No, he said it was short for Jeffrey.
seanmillion
I call bullshit on that. JEFF meets twice a year, seems to be about sharing information between orgs. Whereas that graph is surely shopped.
shoutuckerfatheroftheyear
So we’re all cool that it is Jeff and not jefff?
CaptainAsshat
But that's JEFFF...
CaptainAsshat
Plus it's not even capitalized.. I've been had, haven't I?
Batmannequin
Wow. Genuinely interested to learn this.
lipusal
I wonder why it isn't spelled JEFF then, makes a big difference in this case
thrymn
Also, JEFFF since three Fs in the name.
lipusal
Right you are
McMasterx
Maybe for the same obscure reason ATF isnt spelled FATE. (Alcohol, Terrorism, Firearms, and Explosives Bureau)
bluthsfrozenbananas
Sounds like something Jeff would say to throw everyone off his trail... J'accuse!!
ImgurCouncilOfLlamas
Je t'invite!
AwkwardKeming
Technically, lots of things have <10 nukes.
mthornton91
Yeah, but anything >0 can be a real problem.
Icouri
But it's run by some guy named Jeff
creamyonions
*Geff
ChaotikWolfi
*Tcheph
SlackerTactical
*Geoff
LyraTheLycan
*Goeff
HowieDuett
Thanks for ruining it. I was hoping there was just one guy...and yeah the government knows about him, but they cant find him. Wild card.
mishalala
It's a lie. He's my ex
macthelost
Funny thing, government once asked a group of like six average people if they could build a nuke using only public info. They could.
HowieDuett
HowieDuett
"Jeff" ^