Lite Twitter Dump

Sep 12, 2016 3:41 AM

TheFlashFlood

Views

141161

Likes

2547

Dislikes

98

Cat tax for when you realize that I'm Cole's Notes and this was just shameless self promotion

fp edit: mobile user wifi reminder

funny

I thought people made Christians in bathtubs.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Like a thief in the night!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Hey Chip Reader... 1987 called, it wants its slow credit card transaction back...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

#3 the Sphinx was originally a monument to Anubis until the face was destroyed in a riot, then changed to the Pharoah's face.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well yours all made me giggle so good job sir

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

OMG KITTY!

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

GAY HORNEY???? Why is nobody freaking out????!!!

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Oh crap, I almost forgot sauce. I was told all good posts include sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYEtBcxmj7c

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think Patrick Stewart might kill you for that slight.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

OH COLE. *laugh track*

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

*And with your spirit

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

"Gay Horney"

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Didn't algebra exist before Islam did though?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

** and with your spirit

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Somebody explain the batman in McDonald's one for me.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Batwallet, batcave, batmobile

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That would be the least funny thing I've seen on this website ever.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Why are American's struggling with chip and pin so much, we mastered that shit years ago

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For real though, swipe or insert. We need to get it together. This is why China is taking over.

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

i just want the insert thing to go faster!

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's what she said

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

You just gotta tap!

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

6 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well played you humorous bastard

9 years ago | Likes 57 Dislikes 2

i dont get it...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

A bunch of these "funny tweets from the internets" are actually from OPs own twitter account.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Swiping: Take out card, swipe card, put away card, put away wallet. see "approved", raise both hands and wave them in a celebratory manner.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Insert: take out card, insert card, wait... wait... wait... approved, take out card before the machine beeps angrily. put away wallet.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

no celebration time! im afraid ill toss my wallet away when its in my hand. so much less fun than swiping.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I call bullshit on #6. No way that ginger guy in IT has a girlfriend.

9 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 1

Maybe he's an engineer..

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well, not anymore. He's allergic to her cats.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Hey now, I'm a ginger guy in IT and I have a wife!

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Well, you don't have a girlfriend, so...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

A wife is not a girlfriend. Checkmate, atheists.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I don't get the batman one

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Batwallet, batcave, batmobile

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ooooh thanks man I didn't even notice the batwallet part. I just naturally read it as wallet. I'm dumb. Thanks

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

http://imgur.com/TclC4Hg just curious about how it took you 2 minutes to type 6 characters and a space..

9 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 2

I lost my arms in an automatic cheese shredder accident and have to type exclusively with my toes. Sorry I'm so slow. I'm trying.

9 years ago | Likes 65 Dislikes 0

That's grate.

9 years ago | Likes 31 Dislikes 0

That made me cheddar tear.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Expected cheesy puns. Was not disappointed.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

they're pretty gouda

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That wescalated quickly.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Bakabdjandobard... That was tough

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I haven't inserted/swiped for years

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I would tap that

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0