Be for real.

Jan 25, 2017 7:18 AM

NickRivieraMD

Views

5271

Likes

2058

Dislikes

247

Be for real.

I'm a single father. I work 9-5 and raise my 2 year old daughter full time since her mom relapsed for the second time since her birth. I'm all for acknowledging the hard work that goes into parenting well, but let's not be silly for the sake of sounding nice.

Days at home are way better than days at work. Sure, there's a lot of real work in raising a kid, and the stakes are high, but in the end, you're calling the shots, and you can go out, take care of chores, look like crap, have fun, enjoy the sun or stay in, do things more or less on your schedule, and in general have a fuller life than while at work. Also, naps, yo. NAPS.

storytime

Your comment goes out the window as soon as more than 1 kid is involved

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

To each there own, I work and my Fiancé stays at home. she looks way more stressed than me some days.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

sounds like you need to work somewhere you don't feel trapped

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Work from home 9-5 or is child in care center full time?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

If you think a stay at home spouse works to their own schedule you are wrong, he/she works to the kids and the working parent's schedule.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I think it does depend on what you do. I love my boy and I love my job, but dear lord looking after a toddler or newborn 24/7 is hard

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

there is a bit in between about 6-14 months old and they are glorious.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

my child does not nap, what are these magical things you speak of?

9 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

It depends on the child(ren) and the job(s).

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Oh, and the person. I'm more suited to being a parent than a programmer.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I have a nice cusht desk job - no way that's harder than dealing with a kid all day

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

Pretend I can spell - can't edit on mobile :/

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Its the loneliness that sucks. Id enjoy it if I had more parent buddies.

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Yah pretty much my last friends bailed as soon as I had a kid. Ironically I now have *more* free time than before.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Well, congrats to you OP. This is not the reality for everyone. People are different. You can't judge others by your strengths.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

But you have a job. You are not stay at home dad. You get to have a break from your kid which makes you appreciate the time with her.

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 3

Yup. He's not actually caring for her full time. He's paying someone else for 8+ hours a day while he works.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

1000 upvotes

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

1001 up votes

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Yes, but when you work full time you are able to get away from the little bastard.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

That is assuming you only have one kid. My mother was a stay at home mom for 5. do you know how hard it was for her?

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Try this while being entirely dependent on your spouse's paycheck though. Different story altogether.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I would much rather go back to 12 hour shifts than watch my toddler all day. At least with a real job you get a lunch break and poo privacy

9 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 2

If you don't get a lunch break with watching your toddler then you're really parenting wrong somewhere.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 21

It's the scheduled lunch break I miss. Sure I'll have lunch during a nap.... If the nap happens.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Talk to me after you've been doing it by yourself for years. Being locked in a house with a child is not a vacation. I miss my job everyday.

9 years ago | Likes 41 Dislikes 4

It's harder with a kid but not impossible to socialize.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Only you are locking yourself in.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Serious question, but why then have a child without the means to retain your job?

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Yeah, social isolation is a real thing and not something you'd notice if you haven't been doing it for a long while

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 1

I second this. I feel isolated and miss my job every day too! Hang in there. The years are short and it's not forever xx

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Staying at home with my toddler means a 12 hour work day- caring for him while he is awake and trying to do chores/cooking/cleaning(1)

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

When he naps to compensate for not earning. Never switching off because you can physically see the next task.. I was happy to return to work

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

My work day is well more than 12 hours between work and caring for my kid. I'm up at 6 and she's down at 9 and it's all tasks (1/2)

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Apples to apples.. Because even if you're parenting together and one is working, that one should be sharing responsibility for kid when home

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I work, my wife stays home with our 7 month old. I've stayed home, I prefer to be at work, way easier and quieter.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Yeahh... no. But congrats on having sweet, little angels as kids, @OP.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

no kids are sweet little angels, lets be real.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It depends entirely on the kids, the job, and the family income level.

9 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 4

I have 4 kids one with ADHD. mornings are my slow time (unless i have stuff to do) and after 230 are my rush times. Plus I am starting a

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Business from home (trying to anyway) I would much rather work.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This. Mine has ADHD and ODD. She is a fucking demon spawn. Id rather work.

9 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

And the state of mind of the parent.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

I notice you have only 1 child....

9 years ago | Likes 134 Dislikes 9

I have two and it makes me want to stay at home more than having the one did. But there's 4 years between my kids, so that's why.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

I have 3 and I keep begging to quit so I can be at home with them

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sometimes, even one child can be difficult. It depends on the child, too.

9 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 1

This was my thought exactly!

9 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 2

good point, yeah

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 3

How can you make such a biased opinion with just one kid. Better hurry up and make at least three more before opening your whore mouth again

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 6

heh. sweet jesus.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

One child best child.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

different strokes for different folks. also probably depends on the career in question tbh.

9 years ago | Likes 170 Dislikes 10

And the kid in question.

9 years ago | Likes 75 Dislikes 5

And the answers in question.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

And the number of kids.

9 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 4

And the age of the kids.

9 years ago | Likes 27 Dislikes 0

And if there are kids

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

And the texture of the kids

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Naps are the shit.

9 years ago | Likes 406 Dislikes 1

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Unless you're like me and after an hours nap you can't sleep for next twelve years

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I nap everywhere. In the car in front of the school, in front of the tv, on top of the wife...

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I've napped at work. Of course, that was during a 24 hour shift...

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

1. My experience: Being a SAHP (even of 3) is way easier than being a parent who works full time but can (depending on circumstances) be

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

2. more taxing than working full time w/o kids, though I'll def grant that PJ days are a definite perk.

9 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

My wife works from home, and Im a Stay-at-home dad, been doing this job for about 5-6 years. You dont get a paycheck but its great work.

9 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 0

The paycheck is a big factor that I'm not factoring into this puffin for sure.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

well your in a unique situation, and im glad things seem to be working out for you guys. Just remember, its a marathon.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Depends I guess. I'd rather be at work than look after kids...

9 years ago | Likes 295 Dislikes 17

I'd rather be at work than look for kids... Jk same thing

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah, going to work felt like taking time off for me when my kids were little. Ofcourse, I did not have a very demanding job. Even did naps.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Same. Being with kids is boring and exhausting at the same time. Work is fun.

9 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 1

Then why have kids? I mean I agree, but that's why I'm not planning on reproducing.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

As a father of two, I agree with you.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I'd rather be at home without kids

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Did you get stuck with some bad ones?

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I work from home with baby 4 days and go into the office one day. I much prefer the office. Mama needs a break

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 2

I've done both. Staying at home filled me with absolute panic. Like a caged animal. It was not an easy thing to do mentally. Physically, yes

9 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 1

As a father, being a dad is easy. Goto the park, play legos, and watch cartoons. Literally what I wanted to do ever since I was a kid

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I assume you mean full time Dad? No work?! A lot of people can't do that. Consider yourself lucky that you're still sane.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No, I work, full time nights. I just don't do much outside of work and family

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Same! I hated it! Now I work from home but have a nanny so I can still be there for them. But I sucked at being a stay at home mom... SUCKED

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

For many this is true, but as far as difficulty goes....I still gotta agree with OP regardless of preference.

9 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 6

Sometimes preference is born out of difficulty. It's not as easy for everyone.

9 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

Sometimes it's difficult to get people to see the difference between things like preference and ease.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

http://imgur.com/8sh2NLN

9 years ago | Likes 89 Dislikes 6

Are you saying you want to see my 30yo hairy man butt?

9 years ago | Likes 24 Dislikes 1

Did he stutter?

9 years ago | Likes 36 Dislikes 1

I'm not op, but uhhm, yes?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Who wouldn't?

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Are you fucking kidding me? I'm a doctor and that's still easier than being a stay at home mum. I'd rather die than not work.

9 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 4

This. So much this. So much of me died not being able to work or grow a career.

9 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

but, then why have children? honest question..

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 7

Because you can do both. I had my first in medical school, now I'm a doctor I'm about to pop out my second.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Ours was a surprise. But why do men want to have kids and a career? I honestly never wanted kids.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Is abortion not legal in your state?

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Our family is deeply religious. I have no idea if it was legal 25 years ago--it just wasn't a possibility for us.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I never really got why people would ever sacrifice all that freedom to be replaced by whining and chores.. I like kids, but max for an hour

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

That's how I feel about work in general, and dogs.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Me too. I don't know why you're being downvoted. You asked a serious heartfelt question. I upvoted you.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Seriously, both. Coming home to your kids is amazing.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I work 4 back to back 12hr shifts a week. I could not do 4 back to back 12hr days with my two toddlers.

9 years ago | Likes 82 Dislikes 7

You probably shouldn't be a parent if you can't handle parenting.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 13

Amen

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Naw the kids don't stay up all day. Wake up at 7am. Breakfast. Cartoons until 1130am. Lunch. nap from 1 to 3pm. Dinner at 6. Bed by 8pm.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 12

As a former stay at home mom... Your kid/s watch 4.5 hours of cartoons every morning? Sounds healthy...

9 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 4

As a parent of 2 healthy kids who do sports all year round. Absolutely when they are home/out of school they are free to relax in the AM.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Idk how I feel about this comment. On the one hand, suuuuper judgy. On the other hand.... like.... you're right?

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

Parent shaming is a huge problem in this society.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Seemed excessive to me too. But then again if that's the only screen time a day.... with iPads and all. Not so bad.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Seriously? My kid gets maybe half an hour of screen time a day if she's lucky. We haven't watched TV in my house in almost 10 years.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I got leave when we had her (split up since). It's like rolling downhill once they stop shitting 24/7.

9 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 6

Yeah, until they start running, jumping, throwing things, committing assault, theft, stalking strangers through Walmart over bananas...

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm intrigued about this walmart banana stalking case.

9 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My one year old has a crazy weird obsession with bananas. He'll legit fight you over them. The other day at walmart, he bailed on looking

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

At toys because he saw bananas in the cart of man walking by, and proceeded to chase him, and hide when he was caught.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It gets a bit harder again later if you have bad habits you have to work on. You're setting an example, after all.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I don't doubt that, but I'm factoring in the fact that they're at school 6 hours a day once that comes into play too.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

At first it just disappears, it's like they were there 10 minutes. Later you start being able to make use of the time a bit more, relax more

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That lasts a while, grades 5 to 8, roughly, but then they start acting up and it starts to become hard decisions and conversations.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

My mom worked her ass off to take care of 8 of us, you have one kid. Don't over generalize bro.

9 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 12

I was replying to a gentleman who has two.

9 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 fucking kids. Did she rent her pussy out for storage space?

9 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 14

Rude as fuck, dude.

9 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 4

No sense of humour, must be from having 7 siblings.

9 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 9

I uhh, can't imagine anyone expects 8 kids to be the norm. Congrats on your large family, but I think OP made this with 2.5 kids in mind.

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 9

Actually, he made it with 1 kid in mind. 2 kids is like 3x the work as 1 kid.

9 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 5

Okay.

9 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 5

Still not harder than a full time job. Don't kid yourself.

9 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 35

Depends on the job. Oil rig, maybe. Office? Worse than running after 8 children? Nah,

9 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 3