Krustal
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Has anyone else ever felt so lost?..with who you are? Now I'm going to start by saying that I'm not looking to go to front page and I'm probably going to get down voted to the point of no return, but I'm more looking for some serious insight.
Alright, it's not easy for my to express my personal feeling(s) with anyone, usually I can't even talk to those closest to me without being defensive and on guard. Unfortunately my life has come to the point where everything "feels" as though it's falling apart. I don't know where I lost who I am in the last 2 years, and sadly I don't know where to find myself anymore. Feeling miserable , on edge, disappointed, and depressed have not become a daily problem but an hourly struggle. Where did my positive vibe and happiness disappear to? How do you find it again? Honestly I have no ambition to do anything I used to love so much, I don't even feel like eating most meals and I LOVE food. I don't look at things I used to crave doing the same, it just feels like I've lost all my light, but the darkness is starting to become more welcoming.
How do you find yourself when the only ambition you have left is to lay in bed all day and watch Netflix?
Cat tax for putting up with my shit! Thanks in advance for any and all advice.
railgap
So what have you been doing to combat or treat your depression so far?
Krustal
This isn't the first time. Younger the doctor gave me pills that never worked. Then it was men and drugs. Now it just explodes to anger
PeopleExhaustMe
Right there with you. :/
Krustal
At least you're not aloneā
amomaxia
Why are you feeling this way? Did anything happen?
Krustal
Allowing myself to live a life I'm not ment to belong in I feel is what is making me feel this way. Changing myself to be someone km not
Kirberus
For me it was coming to terms with past negativity and anger. I had to let it go to move forward.
Krustal
Alot of my resentment is towards my SO family. They want me to change who I am to make them feel comfortable. I don't belong.
Kirberus
That is unbelievably hard and affects every part of your life. Maybe your SO can talk to them about it. They would be more receptive if
Kirberus
...the message was coming from their son/daughter.
frickendork
First...admitting something is off is really hard. Good for your for recognizing it. Next...was there something that changed in the last 1/?
frickendork
Couple of years? Is there a history of depression/anxiety in the family? Sometimes it is simply a chemical imbalance without another reason
frickendork
Talking to a professional is really helpful (from personal experience) and sometimes medication can help.
Krustal
I've taken pills. I've talked with counselors and shitty phyciatrist. So far they have done nothing. The psychedelic drugs were most helpful
frickendork
Sounds like you are doing the right things...maybe just haven't found the right person talk to. I switch counselors and connected better 1/2
frickendork
With the second. Had to switch 3 times for my son before we found a good fit. Heredity definitely plays a role.
Krustal
The one good counselor I had was my middle school teacher. She's the only one who gave a shit. The rest are there to be payed.