Random finds at the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam

Took my teenage daughter to the Rijksmuseum. Last time I went was 20 years ago or so - I don't particularly like going to Amsterdam. Too many people.

Interesting fact: this is the building that Salma Hayek looks out on from her prison cell in *The Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard*. In real life there isn't a maximum-security prison right across from the museum.

Landscape with an Episode from the Conquest of America
Jan Jansz Mostaert, c. 1535
(Where available, I'm copying images from the museum website, rather than the blurry versions I photographed.)

Tell me you've never seen indigenous Americans without telling me you've never seen indigenous Americans. Mostaert's Americans look decidedly European, with the women even sporting popular hairdos of the time.

The landscape is also very European, so Mostaert added a monkey, a porcupine and some parrots to give the painting an exotic air.

To the artist's credit, this is apparently the first painting that shows Spanish soldiers being aggressive towards/subduing inhabitants of the Americas.

Shooting trophy
Southern Netherlands
ca 1500-1600, gilded silver

I thought this was gorgeous - whomever managed to shoot a bird on a high pole during the annual shooting contest was entitled to carry a staff with this bird statue perched on top. Not the most practical, but certainly very pretty.

Majolica plates
14th-16th century Spain and Italy

That middle plate had very definite meme energy:

Portrait of Jacob Cornlisz van Oostsanen
ca 1533

If you ever wonder what Dutch people look like, it's this. I swear this face is the quintessential Dutch male face. I almost burst out laughing when I saw it, it is just so very Dutch.

Case with Duelling Pistols
Jean le Page, 1808

This case with duelling pistols and tools was made in the workshop of Jean Le Page in Paris. Up until the Battle of Waterloo (1815) Le Page was allowed to bear the title ‘Arquebusier de L’Empereur’: gunmaker to Emperor Napoleon. This case came into the possession of Lieutenant Henry Sagermans of Brussels shortly after the Battle of Waterloo. Sagermans claimed the pistols were found in Napoleon’s travel carriage which had been abandoned near the battlefield.

This reminded me of one of my favourite Imgurian comments:
https://imgur.com/gallery/i-wanna-duel-first-person-who-comments-81B0YbQ

A condom made from animal gut with etching and ribon, c.1830
Due to prevailing taboos, for a long time condoms were sold discreetly: under the counter, at barbershops, brothels, and taverns. Custom-made, luxury versions were available privately at specialty stores. Originially intended as protection against syphilis, they also had a controversial secondary function, contraception. The church disapproved, but men diligently cleaned and reused their condoms.

As featured on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert:
https://youtu.be/owIR93oMGjA?si=I8INkBpxiVCDJG9I&t=240
and Have I Got News for You (but I couldn't remember which episode, so no link for you!)

(The picture is a nun exposing herself while choosing between three erect clergymen, saying "Voilà, mon choix" ("Here is my choice").)

Dolls’ house of Petronella Dunois
ca. 1676

This was made for Petronella Dunois (1650–1695), a wealthy orphan who lived with her sister in Amsterdam. The dolls’ house contains a peat loft, a linen room, a nursery, a lying-in room, a reception room, a cellar, a kitchen and a dining room.

As you can see, it is huge.

"Mother, why couldn't I get normal human proportions like my older sisters?"
"Shh, Elizabeth, and stare at the wall while I 'ooh' and 'ahh' over your sisters' dancing."

Paper cutting, the adoration of the shepherds
Johannes van Achelom, 1702

This paper cutting, from a single sheet of paper, is 20mm wide and 24mm long. (1 inch = 25.4mm, for the American that are awake)

Part of the etching on the side reads: IN TENVI LABOR AT TENVIS NON GLORIA. Which, according to my broken Latin, translates to: "Your work might be small, but not so your glory".

I don't think this chess set is set up properly.

So let's just call it a Model of a Javanese Marketplace
c. 1830 - c. 1860

The painted figures are made from actual bread dough.

Models like this one were usually made as souvenirs for visiting Europeans.

The 154 figurines include dancers, a gamelan orchestra, and a dignitary and his entourage.

I'm really sorry I couldn't get a better photo of this painting. It's just off to the side of the few Van Gogh pieces the museum has (most of his works are on display in the nearby Van Gogh Museum). Everyone was crowding to see the Van Goghs, no one was paying this beautiful painting any mind.

Jac van Looij, c. 1890 - c. 1910
July (‘Summer Luxuriance’)

I looked online to see if the Museum's copy is any better, and I actually thought it was worse:

Bah! What a shame. I might just go back there and see if I can get away with pinching it and stowing it in my back pocket.

I thought that perhaps I had been spending too much time on Imgur, but then my daughter also asked "Are ... are those BOOB statues?!"

They are actually shot bundles (c.1750-1800) to be placed in a cannon instead of a regular cannon ball. Useful for shooting at living targets at close range, with the iron balls dispersing various directions.

The main attraction of the museum is of course Rembrandt's *The Night Watch*, which is apparently being renovated and not available for proper viewing.

It's claim to fame is the fact that it shows a group of militia in action, moving about, rather than the static pose which was common at the time (1642).

It is also a very big painting - so big, that when it was moved to the Amsterdam Town Hall in 1715, they simply cut away bits to make it fit better.

The white lines show the sections that have been cut away.

The museum has an ultra-high resolution photo of the painting - 717 gigapixels - for those interested: https://www.rijksmuseum.nl/en/stories/operation-night-watch/story/ultra-high-resolution-photo

I always like a good library. We all know that Belle wouldn't have fallen for The Beast if it wasn't for his library. This one is off limits for us peasants, though.

Cat tax, if you've scrolled this far:
Cat at Play
Henriëtte Ronner, c. 1860 - c. 1878

If you are ever in Amsterdam, the Rijksmuseum is a good idea. Book early tickets (you have to give a time slot), and be there early (long queues, even if you have tickets). You can spend the whole day there and not see everything. No food allowed inside, except for their very overpriced and pretentious café and restaurant. So eat a big breakfast and have a good dinner afterwards.