Help

I am breaking apart and I just can't do this anymore. I smile and everyone says I am doing great. I am not. I just fill my time with fun things so I can ignore how much my life is a mess.

1. I hate my current job. I just go around in circles all day with my boss and everything is always wrong. No matter what I do. They always have me redo it 4-5 times because they finally have the correct info, just realized they want to change it to this design, or its dinged by cooperate and I have to change the design again because my boss wouldn't listen that it will get dinged. Round and Round in circles for 4 years. 4 years of being wrong and none of your designs or creative being correct really kills all creativity so why bother when its just going to be wrong.

2. I now hate graphic design. I am 10 years in and I have zero skills that I don't feel sick in doing everyday.

3. I have been looking for a new job for over 2 years now. 1,000s of applications, dozen's of interviews no matter what I do it never gets past the 2-3rd interviews. Or If I do the offer is so little that it barley any difference from my current job in pay but with 5x the amount of work.

4. I have redone my portfolio and resume so many times just trying to get more attention and just interviews. Nothing changes.

5. Moved back in with parents during covid and it is destroying me. I am living in a house I cannot keep up with and my parents have no intention on upkeeping or maintaining themselves because I am here to do it. But I can't even do it. The mess is so much I can barley scratch the surface between work.

6a. So I hate my job and don't care for my skills. So next logical step is to learn more or start off on my own. I took bootcamps, classes and watch as much as I can afford to gain new skills. I did coding and UX and more to add to my resume. Nothing changed. Nothing ever changes.

6b.I tried starting my own advertising firm but I never was great at client facing part of business. Went as far as getting a partner and everything to help with the part I lack skills in. It was just them taking advantage of me and wanting me to put all the hours in while they white label by design. Tried freelancing on my own. Could not bid any clients.

Rinse and Repeate for 2 years.

I am so burned out. So broken. I never had problems looking for jobs before. I just feel like a failure. Each job rejection hurts more and more.

Anyone out there have advice or I don't know something that can help.

I am out of ideas. I can't continue with what I've been doing for the last few years. Its not working and its just getting worse.

TLDL: I have been looking for new job for two years and been unsucfully eac time. My current job (Graphic Design) drains my soul and I can't do it anymore. Any Help?