theSincereGuy
277646
9849
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Oct 14, 2015 1:14 AM
theSincereGuy
277646
9849
208
slamdunkmeoniichan
I was here for this thread and every single joke still made me laugh the second time
KoyomiAraragi
Dad jokes remind me of British humor.
Berrypickerasfuck
My grandad's name was George Donald. He would tell ppl, "You can call me Goerge, you can call me Don, just don't call me late for dinner."
RegisteredFlex0ffender
Any time I tripped or fell my dad would say, "have a nice trip. See Ya next fal!" He's so proud of that one.
IHateBeingBipolarItsAwesome
EVERY road trip dad would say, *pointing to some bug guts on the windshield* What's the last thing to go through that bug's mind? HIS ASS!
Melane
After a big one would splat on the windshield, my grandpa would point at it and say "Bet he doesn't have the guts to do THAT again!"
DanielAnix
Server: "How was your food?" Father (with a completely empty plate, having consumed all the food): "Oh there was something wrong with it!"
LionHeart31337
My dad coined himself "Super Dude" When ever he did something well he would finish every time with. "That's why they call me Super Duuude!"
SimplyMike
I came home tired. Laying in the living room dad: Hey son, are you tired? -Yes. Would you like a sandwich? -Hmmm Yes! -Then go and make one.
ImGoingToBeRelevant
and make me one while you are at it.
TerribleHalfAsian
Dad walks inside with a hoodie on and the hood over his head looking Down. . Me-what are you doing? ? Him-shut up man in in the hood........
MadoraM
Dad: What do you call a deer with no eyes? ... No idea? Ok, what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? ... Still no idea? Ok, (1/2)
MadoraM
(2/2) What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no dick? Still no fucking idea?
MadoraM
My dad is neat.
PoorArtStudent
Dad: Do you know why the pope doesn't want to be cremated? Me: No, why? Dad: He's not dead yet.
gena138
Can someone explain #3 please...
HigherNote
It's because it's buoyant (boy ant)
hotdogg
My guess it's a play on the word "Buoy" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buoy
gena138
Ooohhhhhh
rufio42
If you ring my Dad he will, without fail, tell you that you're looking well. He has no idea what video calls are he just loves this "joke"
freecreeperhugs
Oh, he knows, how just won't let them take his fun, and therefore has to pretend he doesn't.
AlwaysChinchillin
Let's appreciate the URL for a moment.
insertpunnynicknamehere
Mind telling us mobile users what it is?
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insertpunnynicknamehere
Glorious
actualedsheeran
I think "hola milk, soy padre" is gonna be the name of my band
FenyxKnight
maybe just Soy Padre
actualedsheeran
You in? What do you play?
FenyxKnight
DRUMZ
stilloldbull
#2- My Dad, "That Cemetery is very popular- people are dying to get in!"
MinecraftingVW
(Went to friend's restaurant) Friend: I can give you this on the house. Dad: No thanks, it's too hot out.
madsG
Dad: "There they are!" Me: "Who?" Dad: "Those guys" Me: "Who are they?" Dad: "I dont know, but there they are"
LionHeart31337
When my daughter gets old enough. I will rapid fire these in public for maximum embarrassment.
libbyjoyous
Pops: What's the hairiest side of a cow? The outside!
FishDimension
That is some rad corner, like pi/2 rad.
calenlass
I told my dad the 90º one and he thought I was legit asking if he was cold and I've never seen that expression of defeat on his face before
FenyxKnight
Well now I know OP browses Reddit as well
BiPolarB3ar
I was in at the hokey pokey one. Because that's what it's all about...
mateon1
Can I get an explanation? I don't get both the comment and the original joke.
BiPolarB3ar
Cause you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about. Maybe Google will show you the light.
MiddlestofManagement
I upvoted after reading the first one and I never changed my mind
insertpunnynicknamehere
Well I hope you at least wash it every now and again.
MiddlestofManagement
Nice one dad
sangatster
DAAAaaddd stahp!
sheriwallace123
So cute! :)
sangatster
One of my all time favs
elthech
NSFW! I laughed so hard everyone is looking at me right now so I'm typing to look like Im actually working. Dammit.
RelevantReference
Me: I'm going to take a shower. Dad: Put it back when you're done.
buckbuckbuckybuck
"I'm going to jump in the shower." "Don't fall through!"
LeafiaBarrett
My dad's response is "Make sure you keep it."
BustaKap47
My dads response ALWAYS was, "Why? Is there one missing?"
jlawwww
My dad: Where ya taking it to?
WisdomPlaytime
My dad was always full of puns & vocabulary humor. It irritated me so much. Now thanks to imgur I see it was endearing dad humor. I miss him
TheDecemberist
There's a great Shel Silverstein poem about a kid taking naps (and showers, etc.) and being convicted of theft.
imcolorblind
Me: I'm going to take a pee. Dad: Don't take it, always leave it.
docHolidei
"Take one for me too"
naturallyicy
Girlfriend: "I'm just going to hop in the shower really quick". Me: "Don't do that, you'll slip and fall"
RelevantReference
Got this one from my dad a lot too. He would also respond "It's easier to clean yourself if you just stand"
HomoLussac
I genuinely laughed out loud
HydraulicTurtle
"Dad have you had a haircut?" "Actually I've had them all cut"
ScrumdiddlyumptiousBar
My dog was chewing on a stick. My dad: "Don't do that, you'll Bark."
WisdomPlaytime
My dad was always full of puns & vocabulary humor. It irritated me so much. Now thanks to imgur I see it was endearing dad humor. I miss him
AnnaNimitee
This makes me really wish I'd had a dad.
WallCrawlerArt
To be fair, not all of them are great. You might have been better off without one.
ICouldntGetTheNameIWanted
Same here. But i cant wait to be this type of dad! Cause i know i will be. You ok btw?...
AnnaNimitee
Aw, totally, man. Thanks for asking, and I have no doubt you're gonna be the bestest one, ever!
ICouldntGetTheNameIWanted
Im already full of puns and catchphrases. Itll be sweet. Also your username as a pun is already awesome!
AnnaNimitee
:) I see greatness in your future. And I know stuff, 'cause I'm a mom. With occasional jokes.
ICouldntGetTheNameIWanted
A mother? Thats awesome! Loving the fact youre a mum with a pun name. Respect!
ICouldntGetTheNameIWanted
And thankyou!! :) ill be as good as i can be. Thats what i want.
Kennethgravy23
I lost it a the "Soy Milk" one... +1!
batmanfreak64
Me too
Givemeabreak432
Same. I'm gonna use it. It's gonna be amazing.
lonelyfriend
Same here! The no, i'm half left got me also.
disatisfactory
As a German... my friend doesn't quite get it, could you explain it for him?
Proletheus
Soy means "i am" in Spanish. Schönen Gruß
disatisfactory
Ah Dankö :P
ohcats
"Soy" in Spanish basically means "I am." So the dude is calling himself milk.
disatisfactory
Oh haha alright. Thanks
WisdomPlaytime
Do spanish-speaking people call soy milk "soy leche?" If so, do they think it's funny?
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WisdomPlaytime
Aw, ok. Well do they at least think it's funny when people say "soy milk?" :-D
hawkinat0r
You have to speak both Spanish and English (ar least a little bit) for the joke to be funny.
NipplesInAJar
As a native spanish speaker: fuck, that was so bad it was good.
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YouThinkThatsBad
Cows are Spanish.
NipplesInAJar
It means "Hello, milk. I'm dad". "Soy" means "I am" in spanish.
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NipplesInAJar
No hay de qué (aka You're welcome!). :D
CrashDownZer0
I feel left out... My dad doesn't tell dad jokes. He just jokes about the bodies in the basement to,make guests uncomfortable.we all join in
DrYoloMcSwagmasterIIIEsq
Cheesy roadkill jokes every time me or my brothers had a friend over... Every single fucking time
alexhawz
Hmm, never thought of putting cheese on those...
ActualCannibalShia
My dad doesn't joke either. He only makes racist comments or tells me to cut my hair.
DoctorOwly
My mom and I joke like that too. Or she'll ask what I'm up to, I'll say "drugs" and she'll tell me to do my homework first lol.
PenisOfDeath
Sounds like me and my brother when we played xbox live together. We would invite strangers to our party and talk about fucked up shit.
Stieefus
I do that in csgo lobbies with my friends
PenisOfDeath
The strangers would get uncomfortable and leave.
CrashDownZer0
We knew my step mom was the one because she came back one day with a home depot flier for lime.
MagnustheJust
If they stayed and joined in, did you two get uncomfortable and leave?
PenisOfDeath
No we didn't, one time we spent the day with a kid we ended up giving the nickname "little hitler". He insulted our mom, we laughed, magic.
PenisOfDeath
I would've replied earlier but the phone app is a bitch when come to replying to replies.
Berrypickerasfuck
My gaming community does this, and when someone joins in, they typically become new members.