SamuelArk
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I legitimately figured 19-22
I noticed she was a little sweeter then a typical girl, and was a little awkward about overtly sexual euphemisms.
I brush it off, whatever, she's just a sweety.
We talked, had a convo about existential angst, she had a nuanced perspective on politics and society.
I think shes cool, I ask her out for drinks so we can unwind a little and I find out why she can't go.
Good times.
I'm 28.
l33t1c4r1u5
I feel like you need that age of consent pic that was on front page yesterday
delgesuxx
Half plus 7, dammit. It's not difficult!
VerbalDiarrhea
I was 18 when I met my partner, he was 27. That was almost 3 yes ago. We're now engaged :)
SanSamis
OP don't feel bad. When I was your age my current GF was 5.
q2grapple
I was gonna say something similar...
Alpine262
Honestly it's not a big deal in my mind. As long as you don't get innapropriote.
SamuelArk
Thanks.
yesigetitivape
Age is just a number ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
5knotcans
And so is a cell.
highlandheart
So many guys saying go for it. It doesn't matter how mature a 16 y.o. seems - they're a minor. Let them have their teenage years!
DrManhattanPHD
Sharing is caring, right?
Gandalfsuglybrother
In 32 US states she is not a minor. Doesn't make it a great idea, but does make it legal.
ChainsawHandsJoe
I have the opposite problem where guys don't hit on me because I look 12-14. Or, y'know, I'm just ugly.
Brucecori2
I look like 15/16 and/or I'm also having the second problem... Lol.
TheNotSoGoodSamaritan
Prove it
TheLingoBingo
A woman with a young face is almost always attractive, you should feel lucky!
WhileYouWereReadingThisLongNameIstoleYourCookies
Give us pics, selfies are acceptable in this situation
Unsupervisedadult
I had the same thing happen. At a concert start flirting, hey why don't I buy you a drink? " I'm 17" oh alright bye. I had this girl on my 1
Unsupervisedadult
Shoulders for about 30 minutes before that and she had skirt on. I was freaking out about that for a bit. I was 25
SamuelArk
Dang son. It's confusing! But yea its a fun game, sexual tension and everything that goes along with it.
DrunkenWeasel
25 and 17 isn't that bad. Not like 28 and 16
JermaineHiggins
The day I hit 20 is when I came across this problem everyday. Working at a movie theater at the time SUCKED cause ery age sees movies.
bearyimportant
I had a midlife crisis when I turned 20.
cbpolo22
TypicalShmosby
existential angst and nuanced perspective...................is this a poorly worded greentext and i'm missing it or do you own a fedora?
Nykidemus
"Aww man, a person with some intellectualism, must be a fuckin' neckbeard." - The internet
TypicalShmosby
Also referred to her as "a sweety", also laid plans to statutorily rape a girl 12 years his junior...some guys just can't catch a break!
Nykidemus
The fuck is wrong with calling someone a sweety?
TypicalShmosby
Whatever helps you justify someone else's pedophilia is none of my business.
RoyalBloodlinee
I mean, at least she didn't ask you for tree fiddy
thisisnotdog
Why are you making overtly sexual euphemisms to strange women? Wtf is wrong with you?
SamuelArk
I think about it like being clear with intent. You gotta move the thread of the conversation in the direction you'd like.
SamuelArk
Overt isn't necessary vulgar. You can be obvious and not grotesque.
thisisnotdog
I guess I would need an example, because I don't want to judge too harshly if I'm misunderstanding what you think a euphemism is.
SamuelArk
"What do you say I make sex on you with my penis muscle?"
SamuelArk
Kidding. The actual exchange was more like this; her: "oh my gosh, this kabob is like sex on a stick" me: "sex is usually on some of stick"
or0kuSaki
"He who does not ask, does not get laid" - Confukius
Nykidemus
Because he wants to bang her. Duh.
heterocera
Yeah, that doesn't work.
heterocera
Because he's full of shit. He only wishes he was as douchy as he is in his story.
HandsomeJack19
Yep, according to the Dating Acceptability Algorithm. (Age/2+7) she would need to be 21 for you to date her.
AroAce
I doubt that anyone really knows this rule.
psychoscitzo1
Huh so I can still go for 16 year olds
HandsomeJack19
That would make you 18, right? I don't think many people would be bothered by that.
psychoscitzo1
No I'm 21 I just changed the rules
AwesomeName
Are you living in a 70's pop song?
SamuelArk
Dimmikk
Legal in Norway!
hadadrumstickandmybrainisstillstuck
kushbeforepeople
Aren't you suppose to be at least 18 to be a waitress? Cause you can't serve booze that young I thought.
Blunderhorse
some places just have someone of age serve the booze, or have the underage staff switch tables
iDrinkDrano
Depends on if the establishment serves
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
In lots of states you can serve it, but you can't drink it. Same w/ working in a convenience store that sells tobacco before you're 19
PolaroidPuffin
I met a girl on the internet, had a few good conversations, got hot and heavy on the phone one night and asked for pictures,
PolaroidPuffin
and that's when she decided to tell me SHE WAS FUCKIN 14! Never spoke to her again.
iReportStuffYouJackOffTo
maybe ask age before you ask bra size there champ.
pgdave
Legit thought she was going to ask for three fifty for the pics.
Talfrey
That's a pretty good confession for a puffin.
PolaroidPuffin
Dude I was afraid I was gonna go to prison
Reziik
Is 16 not the age of consent where you live?
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
Age of consent only applies when both people are 16-17. Once you're 18, they have to be 18+ as well or it's legally considered statutory.
Reziik
The way the us works is weird. Here in canada 12-13 years olds have a 2 year range, 14-15 have a 4 year range and 16+ do w/e you want :p
ilikecamels
That seems so much more sensible. It's common for 18 y/o guys to get in serious trouble for banging a 17 y/o chick here. Like really?
SamuelArk
Even so, I feel a bit hawkish with the age range.
Reziik
PUT YOUR DICK IN IT
SamuelArk
iFavoriteNSWFstuffButtAlsoOtherStuff
seriously. it's okay
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
I met my GF when ahe was 16 and i was 21. Keep her number, text her every so often to remind her you exist. If nothing better comes along>
soso456
well 28 and 21 is not really the same, even if I totally agree that you can date SOME girls of 20 at 30
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
It really depends. I doubt it would actually work out, theyd be in different places in life, but i dont see anything morally wrong with it>
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
Its their issue to work out and if they can then great and if they cant, at least they tried.
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
Then give it a shot in 2 years. Worked out for me.
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
There is nothing inherently wrong with dating her either, if she is mature enough and you are respectful and dont come on top strong.
AnnieBahde
Really though? The difference in life experience between a 16 year old and a 28 year old is vast. 2 years ago she was just starting her
AnnieBahde
period and worried about beginning high school. He's 2 years from 30. It feels super imbalanced to me in terms of experience/power.
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
People mature at different rates. I have 25 year old friends stuck in high school. Im an only child and my parents described me as 'like a>
FriendlyNeighbourhoodSatan
Miniature adult' around age 10. I was surrounded by adults ao i matured faster than my peers.
HadMeSomeChickens
I'm 30. Sometimes I feel like I'm ~23. Then I hang out with 23 year olds and realize I might actually be 40.
3point141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105
Girls start their period at 14? I thought it was at like 11
O11i3
There isn't a set age. Same principle behind a guy's voice breaking. It happens when it happens
margaretolson
Depends on the girl. I was 12. I know someone who was 8. Another was 14.
AnnieBahde
Well regardless of the exact age my point more was she has just become a "sexually mature" adult human being very, very recently. I was 14
BriLikeAnEagle
Yeah, I'm sure you had a reallll intellectual conversation about existential angst with a 16 year old
fufuwewe
people don't really mature they just become more bitter.
deltajesus
Sure 99% of 16 year olds are retarded, but 1% of however many there are in the world is still a pretty big number.
NanoSwarmer
Hey, have a little sympathy man, she probably couldn't even.
BriLikeAnEagle
Literally, though.
DrunkenWeasel
Greetings fellow Bostonian! Just stopping by to say What's up ked.
BriLikeAnEagle
Hey man! Not much, just browsing Imgur while I should be working. Par for the course.
shneert1
Sounds like boston to me :) (A fellow Bostonian)
DrunkenWeasel
Fahk yeah! That's wicked fahkin cool
shneert1
Ya do seem lik a drunken weasel :P
BriLikeAnEagle
A few too many Harpoon IPAs and/or Sam's Summers
SamuelArk
Bri, You gotta understand how existential her angst was. *hand gesture*
SamuelArk
BriLikeAnEagle
Referred to me by name, gotta respect it.
AlltheAnswers
If at first you don't succeed, Bri, Bri, again.
DontGoJasonWaterfall
Drove the Chevy to the levy, but the levy was Bri
BriLikeAnEagle
Just remember to never stop Jason your dreams.
DontGoJasonWaterfall
I see now why you enjoyed the personal touch
taloner
And that, kids, is How I Groomed Your Mother.
cranialpleasure
HA
ObamasBigBlackCaucus
This is aces
trakshun
Welcome to Tale of Genji
doyourworkidiot
It's legal to bang a 16 year old in most of America, all of Latin America, and all of Europe minus Ireland.
Dumbstatz
I thought both parties had to be in a certain age range?
doyourworkidiot
I don't know how it is outside of America, but as long as you aren't in a position of authority over the girl (teacher) you can be any age
Dumbstatz
oh ive never heard that, i always found they had to be 18 or under still
doyourworkidiot
that's the law in California, where all of our TVs and movies are made. That's why everyone thinks the age of consent is 18 everywhere
AngryKoali
Well. At least you let go. Most guys say fuxx it and go for the booty. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
iamthephantomlimb
So in your opinion "most guys" are pedophiles?
theshadowrealmyugiboy
I don't think you know what that word means.
SamuelArk
An opinion is a subjectively held series of values.
RememberTheAlomar
See, in the interest of saving my faith in humanity, I'd like to think that most of us guys would, in fact, not say fuck it. She was 16...
HalcyonGlaze
Tbh, I don't think that's correct. Most would say no. The ones that would say yes to a minor are the ones easiest to notice though.
Idontreallywantalongusernamebutwhatevs
Swiggity swooty. If it's legal in your state, swoop for the booty.
SamuelArk
Oh, I fucked her. Just. Wow. You know. I thought she was way older.
jiggymcjig
Classic.
SamuelArk
LariCheltsy
Did we just become best friends?
SamuelArk
Synapses14
HAHA, holy fuck I am dying right now.
Fukkouttaherewithallthatnoise
XD hahaa
TheManFromNowhere91
SamuelArk
This reaction was the highlight of this thread for me.
TheManFromNowhere91
It's probably my favourite reaction gif
AngryKoali
Wait... you... fu-... okay.
SamuelArk
AngryKoali
Was it at least worth? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Like, was she good, ??/10?
SamuelArk
On a scale of 1-Scarlet Johan, she was a Chris Hansen
dekket
Be happy that you found out before you had your penises buried 2" deep in her ass.
Gandalfsuglybrother
Did I miss a memo?
dekket
Yes. My phone appears to prefer "penises" over "penis". Go figure.
SolidestCurve
I only bother to check her age after instead of before
dekket
Easier to ask for permission than concent, amirite?
DrManhattanPHD
Penises?!?
dekket
That's a seriously stupid autocorrect...
DrManhattanPHD
loved it. if you have two... its still cool guy
dekket
I wish.
DrManhattanPHD
Do you though? :o
TheOneGif
If she's 16 I'm 16
DarthReznor
Username checks out
coffeeforone
aye lmao
fgkiller
Get outa here Daquan!
SamuelArk
So...you wanna get outta here or what
TheOneGif
Sure but I have homework to finish
LariCheltsy
Don't worry...this won't take long.
SamuelArk
Yea girl FINISH that homework...
SamuelArk
No, use a past participle here. And try to describe that verb. Let's take out "very" in this soliloquy. We can use a better word.
TheOneGif
I...This got weird
DropThatShieldAndPraiseTheSun
I'm 22, and even now my brain seems to fuck up when it comes to telling the age of girls. Haven't done anything illegal; but man you gotta
DerpasawrusRex
remember to keep a a shovel, bag of lye, and some lawn darts in your trunk.
YarTheBug
have faith-uh faith-uh faith! BABY!
Rengii
seize the memes of production.
ObamasBigBlackCaucus
KnockKnockWhosThereJehovahsWitness
Give em the ol razzle dazzle
gecko08
With makeup and clothing it can be hard to tell the age of women between the ages of 16 and 25.
DatToni
Just toss her a card and tell her to call you once that ass gets 18, mate.
OobedoobScoobyDoobyBenubi
have my pops?
DrManhattanPHD
...go directly to jail; do not pass go; do not collect $200
Nevin440
Don't worry. It's not just you, I asked out a 16 year old in May thinking she was the same age as me.
MemeStealingSkeleton
Get 3.50
MOTHERFUCKINGLOCHNESSMONSTER
That's my line!
MemeStealingSkeleton
I ain't got no tre fiddy for you either gott damn lochness monster
MyDumpsAreTheFreshest
Close your eyes and hit it?
secretidentitycrisis
Tap that Deedsy before she starts boning other guys, kid. Boo-Yah!
RerackTheFingWeights
I've worn makeup since 13. You could only tell I was still a kid until 15. Pissed off some guys (me too, turning them down each time, damn)
ObamasBigBlackCaucus
I see you're a Pepe. I, too, am a Pepe.
BojidarMartinov
You made me laugh.....lol
HalfJudPrince
blast
TypicalShmosby
get your nut when the opportunity presents itself
WarfritLive
You just gotta.
Nubacus
I'm dead.
icebare
Pop that ????
Notmyprotein
I work at a nightclub and even majority of the girls that go clubbing look far too young to me, I'm only 19.
CrimsonOwlDragon
probably have fake IDs
ProneHub
Every time someone says "fake ID" i remember a specific hollywood undead song and it gets stuck in my head. Fml
ProneHub
But yeah, that's probably the case, i agree
remonsterie
catch em all
kcxlefty
Remember to turn the stove off
SingleFlamingle
go on Crusade to liberate the Holy Land?
JaredKidd
Sure but i will park 20 troops on each siege target so i get to be siege leader and get all the points in the Crusade.
ThatOnePolarBearOnTheLeft
Deus Vult!
MyLuggageAteMyHomework
As a 22 year old lady myself, *I* can't even tell half the time.
DropThatShieldAndPraiseTheSun
Oh hey how's it goin' ;D
TheBlackCatIsChangingColors
Same! I see middle schoolers and I am just like DAMN WTF IS HAPPENING
SirScarface69
get that boom boom boom
superbest
I've done illegal things. Like one time I got a clear "stop", but I kept going. There weren't any cars so I figured I could cross safely.
DrManhattanPHD
boroq
SirDuckOnQuack
Make lightly fried fish fillets.
ProneHub
Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time dad
ThatChecksOut
I like yours the most.
Peanutbunny
throw that ass in a circle.
DropThatShieldAndPraiseTheSun
Damn fine comment xD
ObamasBigBlackCaucus
But I did the dishes last night...
superbest
Ask her why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
SamuelArk
Haha I still love this line
notajuniorchemist
Invade Poland.
DieDeutschenKommen
Agree!!
DropThatShieldAndPraiseTheSun
I mean, we're only human. Not counting Jews, of course.
PolaroidPuffin
http://img.memecdn.com/typed-fabulous-hitler_o_1993589.jpg
DropThatShieldAndPraiseTheSun
Be CAREFUL WOW bad place to finish that first post lol
Meepasu
You sir, just earned my first comment upvote.
Plumbus
Man you gotta!
hakunamatatas
Age of consent should be 16 anyway, but at 23 I find most women my own age almost unbearable. 25-30 please, thanks.
heterocera
You know, the human brain isn't fully developed until about 24. That's why 23 year olds are annoying, and why 16 is not be age of consent.
PrincessAnus
24 isn't the AOC either.
CarlosOfNightvale
This is honestly one of the dumbest comments I've seen lately
heterocera
How is it dumb? Why do you all want to fuck adolescents so badly?
kru5tyjugg13r
*best place to finish ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ObamasBigBlackCaucus
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
YarTheBug
Best username I've seen today: http://imgur.com/JA2k1fF
no4u
You should have just ended it with your username.
RowRowFightThePowa
I can hear DROP IT playing with a dark souls Montage of praising going on.
derdeeder
lol
SamuelArk
It's not too late to delete the reply
DropThatShieldAndPraiseTheSun
No, it's alright. I'm committed.
Boobdick
Committed to drop that shield?
DropThatShieldAndPraiseTheSun
Oh. Wow holy shit you're a genius. XD
DefinitelyNotCera
Half-plus-seven rule man... Half-plus-seven.
or0kuSaki
Now we're measuring dicks...
alberteinsteinwasagreatmagician
According to this rule I could date someone my sisters age. Interesting.
AtlasUnbound
The lannisters send their regards.
iReportStuffYouJackOffTo
so if OP likes a 20 year old girl then he shouldn't do anything about it? get that crap outta 'ere
SamuelArk
Yea! Get the crap outta here!
iReportStuffYouJackOffTo
dude like 3 and a half months later
AroAce
I doubt that anyone really knows this rule.
BigDamnHero
I know this rule, learned it a long time ago
AroAce
I don´t see why you need such a rule when your partner is 18+.
DefinitelyNotCera
It's served me well over the years.
AroAce
I don´t see why you need such a rule when your partner is 18+.
DefinitelyNotCera
45 year old dating a 18 year old is still a little weird in my opinion.
AroAce
Yeah it is but why not ?
TheManFromNowhere91
Wow like having a girl flirt with you isn't enough, she also turns out to be 16. Double bonus, amiright?
Saxxon92
Why don't you take a seat over there?
Paoloc0mments
Toight like tiger!
PleasantPeasantPheasant
yeah, that's legal, if you don't film it and then sell the tapes...
SamuelArk
At first I was like, "can a man be so lucky?" But then i remembered, I am rich, and handsome, and white.
[deleted]
[deleted]
SmokedtheChair
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLg5POTvVzs
SoMenSayThatImIntenseOrImInsane
I love it when witty OPs make it to FP. Then I get to read through all the comments and laugh 10x as long.
SamuelArk
ThatGuyNoOneKnows
So you have the money for bail anyway? Sounds like a home run
MaxieMooo
Then you remembered "shit, too old"
SamuelArk
In imagination land.
wikiwikiwickerman
Are you actually rich, handsome and black?
VodkaPls
Nope. He's blue da ba dee da ba die.
SamuelArk
Very
Fleecemaster
Isn't that like the magic 3? If you're tall as well then... damn...
TheManFromNowhere91
Ahhh the triple unity, any tips for acquiring wealth and becoming rich myself?
Idkimadeanaccountjustforthis
Step 1: bang ladies , step 2: get $ step 3: ?
SamuelArk
Gotta start with "be white". Then you make America great again. Next: one step plan to success, very important step.
SamuelArk
Get 3 million dollars. Do not leave out this step. This is very important. You need the 3 million dollars complete the step.
TheManFromNowhere91
Yea. I apreaciate the imput, but that was not helpful. Like at all
3point141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105
Your comments on this post made my day, you're fucking funny dude