The things you gain in-between

As the chubby kid of the class, growing up overweight was something that, over time, seemed to hold less significance in my day-to-day life. It just *became* part of it. It became part of what made me stand out. I never knew if that was a good thing or not, but I guess I was only as dumb as I was fat.

It took more than two decades to figure out I really could make the changes to take power back in my life. I was almost two years out of high-school, playing video games and eating all night every night. It wasn't a great way to live going into my 20's, but the late night chip n' dip combos were delicious.

Then I discovered something called willpower, which I still occasionally ignore.

It took a lot for me see things from a new perspective, because I knew the friends I had gained over the years liked me for who I was, not what I looked like. That would be vain, shallow. And I'm friends with the greatest people I know. I didn't think it mattered to me, if it didn't matter to them. Life can seem a little cruel that way, how you can play tricks on yourself.

It started as a gradual thing. I, without a choice, was given a job working with my dad doing 12-hour shifts doing labour at a wholesale food distributor. The long hours and physicality of the job helped, but I could never stick to being healthy for long. The chip n' dip really called to me.

You look back on the rarities of meeting people you never thought you would, wishing it was fondly instead of some mixture of self-pity and frustration.

But after a while the changes start to appear when you see yourself in the mirror. You realise, whatever you're doing, surely some of it is right. Even though I have a lot of difficulty, even now, not seeing myself as the fat kid, I know, mostly, I'm not that version of myself anymore. It's kind of surreal, and something I still haven't gotten used to.

Months pass, then a year.

Feeling positive about myself started to become a little easier. I was really putting in the effort to exercise daily I had people in my life showing me things were getting better, and I believed them. I learnt a lot that leaning on people, asking for help can show you how much people care. I just hope I can pay those people back now.

Things generally seemed to be getting brighter. I was happier, had more energy. I felt I was really on track to living life the way I should have been from the start.

Even though sometimes things made me feel small, I always got up the next day and knew, there's no point taking pity of myself anymore. I still get sad. Who doesn't? But I knew now that I had the choice to stay sad about my mistakes, my shortcomings, or to channel that into something to make my life better

You can make up for missed opportunities.

You can make the people who made you into the person you are proud of you.

But most of all, you can be proud of yourself. Because, to me, there's no false modesty in being proud of accomplishing something you never thought possible. Not for me, and not for any of you.

As much as it might seem to be about the before and the after, it's not. So remember the things you gain in-between. Pick them up and carry them as you drop the parts of you that you don't need anymore.

From around 165kg (330~lb) in mid-2014, to 88kg (195~lb) as of today.

FP edit: Well this was an interesting surprise. To sate everyone's curiosity surrounding my height, I'm 6'4". Not quite Yao Ming but I can reach the top shelf so I'll take what I can get. And as far as how I lost the weight: I started with running, moved into cardio-based interval circuits like HIIT, then started to add slam balls, burpees, squats, and kettle-bells into it. 4-5 days a week, 45m-1hr sessions. Always have a bottle of water with you, and most importantly: no late night chip n' dip.

Thanks to everyone for the kind words, and I hope you can apply my thoughts about making the choice to change something you have the power change. To better yourself, for yourself.