GhettoEMS
100816
1607
38
Bed is where the magic happens
Jun 11, 2017 2:12 PM
GhettoEMS
100816
1607
38
Bed is where the magic happens
OneMississippiTwoMississippiThreeMississippiFourMississippi
Great. So I can take an hour nap at work every day and tell my boss it was only 5 minutes.
Magisterial
It must be nice being aliens... They are so advanced they no longer need to have time system...
notquitebilbobaggins
ElusiveGiraffe
The amount of times I have been late for anything because of these laws of nature...
macDogeWoof
It's a sign you need a vacation
Stanistani
At work, you close your eyes for five minutes. Your boss taps you on the shoulder.
Diverge
Haha.. god help me.. i want to sleep!!!
importerer
1:30PM? "Why am i still at work?"
lucidaddict
Stop reposting normie bullshit from Facebook! And stop upvoting it!
Whitejack
REEEEEE
lostbrother18
what i would do to have a job where i could just close my eyes for 5 min
ANightAtTheCocksbury
In bed, it's 9pm. You fuck your wife for an hour. It's 9:17pm.
waddyaknowjoe
As a male prostitute, I can tell you, both of these are true and both are false.
ElbowDeepInMythicalCreatures
Are you the one doing the work stories?
TheGrinReaper
TheGrinReaper
MikeB79
Also in bed, it's 10:45pm. Close your eyes for five minutes, now it's 1:45am and you don't feel tired whatsoever.
pelusita35
Also, 10:45 pm. Just one more episode. It's now 3 am. Work is in 4 hours.
Grendalloffen
No. Its either still 1:30, or 1:29.
ClearBlue
Buzz kill
dotnetbeast
Definitely 1:29
Jowrdan
1:28
WhatzitTooya
We had a clock at work with an obnoxious loud ticking noise, in a otherwise very quiet office. Pure torture if you were bored.
MrRobSteel
So all those moments between browsing Imgur on your computer, and browsing Imgur on your phone while pooping.
WhatzitTooya
Haha, no. That was 15 years ago. No smartphones and no imgur. Oh, and my work didn't require a computer.
MrRobSteel
So every moment between arriving and leaving.
WhatzitTooya
Yeah, with an acoustic reminder every second that precisely one second has passed. I dont know how I survived that time back then...
thepenisqueen
Touch a hot pan and a minute feels like an hour, touch a hot woman and an hour feels like a minute. It's all relative man.
R11R
CrazyFinnishGuy
Unless she whacks you in the face with a stiletto heel for groping her. Then the ambulance takes forever.
WhatzitTooya
I stick to hot pans, they burn way less than the pepper spray from those hot woman. /s
MyCatLikesToFruitcake
Personally, touching a hot pan for 60 seconds seems like a very long time to burn yourself.
BirdmanSucked
It's all relative unless she's your relative
Deadpo0l
Deep Blue Sea.... wonderfully terrible movie
thepenisqueen
Whats that? Make sharks smarter to help cure alzheimers? Lets fund it!
goflyblind
bloodtypeinfinity
That's one of the few things he actually said tho...
thepenisqueen
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0149261/quotes I was slightly off. He said second where I said minute.
GraffitiHeysoos
Unless you don't know her... Then an hour feels like 10-20 years.
chardlz
Especially when trying to figure out what to say until that Persian guy with too much cologne convinced her drunk ass to go home with him
FckyourselfSarah
When I touch a hot woman it's 200 bucks.
thepenisqueen
I'd charge £100, but im very average and just for the touch, nothing more.
Jowrdan
One PP touch?
scnottaken
Touchy da fishy?
thepenisqueen
Damn it. Do none of you remember Deep Blue Sea and LL Cool J?
thoughtcrime
I studied physics at MIT and that's the best explanation of relativity I've ever heard.
thoughtcrime
you. people. it's what the guy says next in deep blue sea.
ConchoidalFracture
thepenisqueen
These fools couldn't recognise a quote if it slapped them in the face with its quotedong. Quotes have dicks right? Or was that a dream...
SafeSpaceDestroyer
I can make a dream come true ;)
WayTooNewb
Touch a hot women and an hour is actually about 37 seconds.
Combatmatt
Without consent seconds turn to years
DrPeroxide
I'm guessing you last an hour in bed then?
WayTooNewb
Yeah, and my index finger is 12"
AccountCreatedToUpdogVotes
Only about 15 minutes, actually.
DrPeroxide
So 9.25 seconds? Damn...
AccountCreatedToUpdogVotes
Don't shame me! That's an improvement!