Best patch note I have ever seen

Mar 31, 2018 10:11 AM

WhoaMama

Views

162746

Likes

3374

Dislikes

31

Far cry 5

Pd: F*ck my post made viral and I didn't even notice. Send shit to my inbox I'm bored.
2nd Pd: Imgur fix notifications

0

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I think roughly 1/2 of the civilians I've saved from fanatical cultists have been summarily mauled by mountain lions.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Canadian geese were too busy, they sent a cousin.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

That not a fix, it's an acknowledgement.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I like "Female Tieflings can now blink again". WHAT changed since last patch to break this? Neverwinter in like 2016

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Likely they released a new item and someone was working on modeling it, and may have disabled the blinking while testing, and forgot.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Bit of an understatement really.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not even a flamethrower can stop the turkey. Now we know what to do when Elon fulfills his destiny and becomes a supervillian.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

LMG all the way, kills wolves with like 3 shots

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Descendant of the Assassin Turkey. My personnal contribution to Assassin's Creed 3 ;)

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I saw one take on several peggies and win. They should've kept them overpowered, it was hilarious.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Youre walking along a deserted road having just killed a turkey with a flamethrower when from far behind you, you hear a turkey gobble.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You look behind you and see nothing, so you keep walking. Minutes pass and you hear it again, slightly closer. You get nervous.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

After a few minutes pass you dont hear anything so you look behind you again only to see a flaming turkey aiming for your face!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How bout the patch note from dwarf fort where they fixed the cats dying of alcohol poisoning.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I just started playing last night... I don’t really like how many dogs I’ve had to kill and the turkeys are way over powered.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

It's South Park all over again

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I wouldve left the turkey op for the lulz.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Turkey is still too powerful

3 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

How about when I go to loot a body and I end up throwing my gun on the floor for their garbage. Even though the action is "loot X"

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Well stop using an xbox... Never have that problem on PS4

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Dwarf Fortress has the greatest patch notes. A sampler: Stopped aerial births. Vampire accuses baby of killing victim. 1/?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Dwarf children die from embarrassment at not being dressed at age 2. Cats dying for no reason - alcohol poisoning? 2/3

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Incorrect use of "whom" in elf.txt. Giraffe is trainable for war. 3/3

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The first time i went up against the turkey, it entirely explained why americans need assault rifles for hunting that thing is a beast

8 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 0

Yup. As an avid Turkey hunter, I have always needed armor piercing rounds on them.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

lol to be fair these were the first animals I encountered, and I ignored them. They fucked my shit up. I mean at least partially it was >

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

>because I was laughing so hard, but still.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

took me a full 15 seconds to calm myself down enough to go "okay, this is a problem, I need to deal with it."

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I seriously want to play this game but I'm not sure I want to pay $60 (Steam).

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

i usually wait for a sale, or the GOTY edition.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I think about if I'm gonna get long-term use out of video game before buying these days. If it's not something I can see myself playing >>

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

>> for more than a few months I tend to avoid it until it goes on at -least- a 50% stale on steam or whatever. [for AAA $60 games anyway]

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

(sale*)

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's a very decent game considering all the crap that has come put in the last year. Maybe one of the only ones worth $60

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I'm not saying it's not worth the price. I'm just saying I can't justify spending $60 on a game

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Get a dehumidifier

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Jesus Christ

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I'm sorry

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Aw damnit. I wanted this to become the FC5 hallmark

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Like Ghandi being a nuclear war monger in civ

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Hell, in Civ revolutn he was the first and only one to declare war on me. I tell you, that boy ain't right

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Extreme pacifism will do that to you. Accept democracy, everyone expects you to be even more peaceful. That will push you over the edge.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That and that cunt Genghis Khan. Fuck that traitor.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Have you even seen Gorgo? I kill an entire civ and she calls me a pussy for not being at war with someone. I KILLED EVERYONE

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Have you seen the fucking wolverines? I watched one merc a whole farm of people!

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

They'll bite your dick off

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

is a little annoying, arrow to the head of human enemy, instant kill. Arrow to head of turkey just pisses it off

8 years ago | Likes 25 Dislikes 0

Because you miss the brain every time.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

There's a video on YouTube of a guy killing two turkeys with one arrow (in real life). It's gnarly.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Is that the one with the special arrow tip that slices their heads clean off?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah razors in a + shape basically

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 76 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 17 Dislikes 1

v

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Benjamin Franklin wanted the turkey to be the national bird of the US

8 years ago | Likes 210 Dislikes 6

It is a majestic motherfucker

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

True, also interesting to know: Kemal Ataturk wanted America to become Turkey's national bird... too bad there's no bird called America.

8 years ago | Likes 56 Dislikes 2

It still is in my heart. Idk why you got downvoted because that is true.

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 6

2 downvotes isnt enough to comment ehy someone has been downvoted

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 12

Says who. Show me the rules stating this. Pretty sure I can comment how ever the fuck I want.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Some people just like to downvote.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Actually that’s untrue. He was arguing that it was a better choice than the eagle as a way to sway opinion away from choosing the eagle.

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

What did he want then?

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Not the eagle. He argued that it is a scavenging bird, that isn't/shouldn't be a symbol of strength.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ben Franklin suggested (gasp) the TURKEY instead of the bald eagle

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

More french prostitutes probably. Dude was wild.

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 1

Best comment ever!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Eyyy

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This is something you let become a meme before patching it out like carp in dwarf fortress

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

What was wrong with the carp?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It had a bite attack which caused a fight whenever a dwarf tried to fish it which often resulted in them falling into the river drowning

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

The mighty Turkey. Slayer of Heroes, Conquerer of Worlds.

8 years ago | Likes 724 Dislikes 0

I Am Become Turkey, Destroyer of Worlds.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

theyre descended from velociraptors

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Gobble gobble mother fucker.

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

They are indeed terrifying. But when did this patch drop? Haven’t got it yet on PS4 (Living in Sweden).

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Sounds like a match against the ravenous wattlegobbler

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Dinner during christmas

8 years ago | Likes 28 Dislikes 0

Only because they allow it!

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Cuz they said "Fuck Thanksgiving".

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Fucksgiving? Horrible holiday. It’s always a pain in the ass and I’ve nothing to give.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

And Dad has so much. It's not fair!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YiAt4yt0sE There was a reason

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

That's like something out of the Terminator. Turkeynator?

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

"Oh look, a bull."

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Bison

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Bye, son.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Basically all the animals were too powerful. 2 shots to the head with a shotgun does not kill a wolf?

8 years ago | Likes 594 Dislikes 2

The eagles on the crop circle mission...

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

I've gone over to machine gun hunting. Get the M60 and nothing withstands more than a longer salvo.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Animals straight from Karol May novels. Empty two revolvers into puma's eyes? Puma don't care.

8 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

I only hunt with dynamite and RPG's. I learned it after I got killed by a skunk or some other small bastard.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

A .50 cal will do the trick against everything. It's a bit costly, though.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

4 magazines into a bear and it still slaps me silly

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

The honey badgers in 4 were fucking idiotically strong too.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I mean, I know a guy who shot a grizzly bear 37 times with a nitro express and it still kept coming. So, it might not be as wrong as you say

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Jesus.. We're they 37 blank cartridges?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

While I agree, they have to be careful not to make them pushovers, also. Game Design > Realism sometimes. It's why the wingsuit is awesome.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah of course, farcry games have often revolved around the the danger of walking outside of a car and this, it is just annoying when 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

A skunk can kill a dude that just took down two outposts alone

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I feel you. Two shotgun blasts to a wolf's face, even in a Far Cry game... Probably should be dead.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

In Far Cry, weapons have 'damage' not 'lethality' :|

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 2

Yeah, i think the game would be extremely stale if it only took one shot to takedown animals/humans

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Rifle head shot from not too far kills the 'normal' cult members.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I like realism, i mean even +200% health they kill you in two shots/hits

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

*shrugs*

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yeah same, i think they should balance it out so it wouldnt take a magdump to kill but also it shouldnt kill in one to two shots

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Should kill on 1-2 shots when its a headshot

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I've learned the best way to hunt: With a truck

8 years ago | Likes 111 Dislikes 1

Fuck trucks. You can get helicopter with miniguns AND rockets under 4k iirc

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yes, weird part is that normal enimies goes down fine, often one shot with pistol to head, but a wolf? Five shotgun slugs

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

Y'all should try spearing everything with the shovel. Beat most of the game with only that.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Thank you for the laugh, my girlfriend has killed more deer with her car than her dad has with anything.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Explosives man. Damaged, but dead

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I've started just using the .50 Cal to hunt everything. Including helicopters.

8 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 0

Just got the semi auto .50 everything shall die

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Me too, I just had the bolt action before, and the SA50 is much, much more fun.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I got sprayed by a skunk, passed out, and woke up captured by the cult. I like to think the skunk turned me in for the bounty.

8 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 0

It could have been a hallucination from that faith bitch. She keeps popping up disguised as a wolverine and turns into a pissed off bear

8 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 0

Still better than John's region. I can defend myself from the hallucinations. Not so much two or three trucks worth of peggies at once

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I've been using a sniper with a silencer, you can usually pick them off as they're driving toawrd you

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The Henbane is trippy dude

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Basically my only complaint about the game. Half a magazine into a mountain lion and that bitch still gonna come at me like he's on PCP

8 years ago | Likes 344 Dislikes 0

Try the bow. An arrow to the head kills a wolf. While he is charging you can't miss the head.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Meanwhile peaches get killed it one guy flanks her

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I mean they’re on drugs. Bliss specifically.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Mountain lions are actually known for being insanely tough.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

I know many people who have hunted them and no one has said they are tough. 9mm takes them down easily, and that caliber only tickles bears

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Why don't you fight a Moose. No, no, I wouldn't make you do that

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Hey would I need to play the previous Far Cry before I play this one? Like in order to understand anything?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Nope. All standalone, but with similar gameplay mechanics.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Nah but you should play Far Cry 3. Great game

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Probably not each one is a different setting. Island. Crazy people. You have guns. Pew pew.

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

To be fair all the animals are on bliss in the game soo...

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I’m getting sick of animals turning into meth heads

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Bears take 2 body shots from a 50cal

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

But what about a bear on cocaine?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I’ve heard of black bears running hundreds of yards after being double lunged with a 300 magnum.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah but a 50cal to the vitals and there's really going to be nothing left. To imagine that it runs away is a bit crazy

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I hate it when a small deer doesn't die from a rifle headshot and then i have to run for 2 mpnths to catch it

8 years ago | Likes 38 Dislikes 0

.50cal solves all your problems

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I hunt with the silenced m60, and just run full speed at animals and spray them. Bow hunting is almost impossible

8 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

I've been hunting only with the bow and it's easier than you think, especially with upgrades. It is dumb that it takes 2-3 headshots though.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I killed a single pronghorn with a headshot, while it was laying down. Yet hitting most cultists anywhere will kill them immediately

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yeah same, I have almost only played the game since it came out, and that is currently my only complain as well

8 years ago | Likes 69 Dislikes 0

Whereas I mostly played it before it came out, not since

8 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 4

There is such thing as a beta tester.....

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Your a beta!

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0