longlegsam
102746
2250
102
Jul 26, 2019 10:35 AM
longlegsam
102746
2250
102
ZombieDK
wittyweasel
Brilliant ! Now you're gonna have to pay for years of therapy PLUS college ! :-)
adrnp
faethorferenc
pizzapartyhard
¿Qué?
runningfrommiranda
Dear god just tell him if he stays on the server too long herobrine will come
CatzEyes93
oh jeeez that scared ME! oh my GAWD THAT was brutal!
LiberalWASPsProtectSocietysVirtue
I'm pretty sure your user name is mispelt. Should be -philiac
freddyfazbear5772
ColonelPyat
I’d like to see this as a manga illustrated by junji Ito
drenix
Uzumaki is a prequel to Gurren Lagann, change my mind
YetAnotherUserNameToRememberDangit
Well. So much for the whole "look for the helpers" thing then...
RandomlyAppointedNSAAgent
No u want to look for them. You have to find them before they find u
Darkspire
Just gotta look for the ones that don't turn you into hamburger helper.
AbiQuinn
Fun way to tell him he's adopted
Pizza1sLyfe
Blizky
TLDR
tibris
parent of the year
gucchan13
Another... Good story by.... @abortedfetuspheliac ? I guess
DukeDarkwood
Yeah, looks like we've got an imposter, here.
MinorMinerMynah
That's quite the username
DukeDarkwood
I think it's trying to piggyback fame by hoping people think it's known imgurian @abortedfetusnecrophiliac.
MinorMinerMynah
Ohhhh. Well, there you go.
Murgen
This is a story from R/nosleep. At least credit the author.
wingweaver415
op stole their name from another poster, i doubt they are int he habit of giving anyone credit.
longlegsam
And you stole your name from a Yugooh card
peachesforme
even their name is a rip off
SergeantMoomoos
Saving to tell@my son when he’s old enough to get it.
defgremlin
rijstewafels
MarcUK
Yes, I too want to play with some boobs after that.
ijustimguredtosay
Brutal. Love it
Panserclaw
Bojovnik84
sombrerohorsewagon
BrockEffingSamson
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old
BrockEffingSamson
burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that, deep down,
BrockEffingSamson
he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting late. -Jack Handey
SpeehsMareenes
kaikazu
longlegsam
No.
YouL0stTheGame
freezinater
I hate your username. +1
MrA007
M1S0
Audio on
pegmis
Is this a bunch of clips together?
TwinkleBat
I asked my Dad why I had red hair and brown eyes and he had brown hair and green eyes a lot when I was little. He told me that he was a >
TwinkleBat
Very special type of tiger. And that tigers like him would find beautiful brown eyed babies and steal them from their parents when they >
TwinkleBat
We're young. The parents were always very sad, but they knew tigers like him would love and care for their child so they didn't mind too >
TwinkleBat
Were** stupid auto correct.
TwinkleBat
Much. He said that tigers like him would raise the children like their own, until they were older. And I scoffed and said why? To which he >
TwinkleBat
Replied 'Well, you see, children with big brown eyes are the most delicious to us tigers!" And he'd snap his teeth and laugh.
YouSufferWithCognitiveDissonance
ahorseelbowdeepinme
lwbell851337
Cliche
LeSethX
A single dad tells his son a cautionary tale about giving personal info out online, where a murderer kills a family but keeps the baby. Son
LeSethX
has the same name as the baby in the story.
YouSufferWithCognitiveDissonance
Thanks for the Reader's Digest version.
gingerjew06
When I was young my dad would tell me I was abducted by aliens as a baby and that they kept me.
PinkElephantMafia
I was hatched from a rotten Dodo egg.
canyouthriveat35
I was bought at a garage sale for a quarter.
ForkOffPlease
My sister would tell me the dog found me in the trash and that my parents raised me out of pity...
jimmysRunner
She wasn't lying. My aunt told me I was traded for rabbit food.
Bigcurly2000
My uncle told my cousin they bought her from local Gypsies in exchange for a donkey
peachesforme
My brothers told me they found me under a big mushroom. said i was a changling
Goofy11
My oldest would tell my youngest he was an alien, because he was born in a different state. Youngest actually told his teacher.
TheLovelessHummingbird
My mom told me if I were to be born a boy she would have abandoned me
warp10
My mum told me I was an alien and I landed in the back garden when I was a baby. Also that they had my antennae removed
honeyissweet
I was found in a cabbage patch.
jimmysRunner
This one is ok, you were a cabbage patch kid. Term of endearment.
Winter08
My dad told me I was the milkman's kid.
jimmysRunner
I'm the milkman, son.
rabbitsandWoW
My brother was given to my parents by Aliens and I was found under a rock.
thatguy1843
Mom, “your sister is an alien” RabbitsandWow, “I dont believe you” Mom, “what where you born under a rock”
Z0op
Apparantly i was found between cabbages on the farmers market
EmanNiemThcin
"The donkey lost you while it was galloping" Apparently a classic.
bazoopers
My mom was "supposedly" dropped and forgotten by a passing by gypsy. We're racist as shit against gypsys in Europe.
jimmysRunner
Why, because they're brown?
Mairoa
I'm American, so it was carnies/circus folk. I'd been "Habib the dog faced boy." I'm female
AlcoholicsAnonymousBYO
Ouch that's cruel ! Funny, too, in a cruel way, but still funny, kinda cruel tho.
SatansSockPuppet
Oh yeah, threatening to sell me to the gypsies when I misbehaved was common in my family.
NoIdidntsayAbeLincolnIsaidHeyBlinkin
Haha my dad would say this to my nephew as a toddler.. Sometimes he’d cry, “but I don’t wanna go live with the gyppies!!!!”
StarvedDemon
My mom used to try that until I answered "Good! Send me to the gypsies! They probably have better food!"