I can't sleep, and these are generally good conversation starters.

So first off let me get the basics out of the way. I'm severely red/green colorblind. I "suffer" from protanopia and deuteranopia. I also miss out on some blues and yellows, but I see blue the best by far.

For instance, if a normal person were to look up and see a full rainbow in the sky, I would look up and see a yellow streak, with a bit of a dark blue streak attached. I've never seen a full rainbow that wasn't drawn with markers or the like. And even then, I'm definitely not seeing what a normal person sees.

Anyways, here are some stories about times I've gotten colors wrong. If this gets enough attention, I will do more, because I have plenty.

This is the story that inspired this post. I made a comment here: https://imgur.com/gallery/7ALfv and got lots of questions about it.

Not sure why after all these years, I still refer to things by color, but I do. It was just a casual remark I made to my wife about how I liked the green Seahawks jerseys, because they looked similar to the color of peanut butter. She just about lost it, and even though this happened a year or so ago, she still brings it up and makes fun of me about it.

I didn't believe her at first, because people like to do that thing where they lie about the colors of things to me, the way you would lie to a small child about something they clearly know isn't true. But she wasn't. And here I was thinking PB&J's made perfect sense because green and purple go together so well.

This also makes me a bit nervous to find out what other things people just don't talk about the color of, that I'm doomed to one day comment on and find out I've been wrong my whole life. It took almost 30 years for peanut butter, what's next?

When I found this picture, I thought, "Well this is perfect, a dark pink carabiner that looks black, right next to a pink one." Then I opened the webpage and read the description of the image.

I had just started driving when I did this, so I was at the mercy of fellow teenage boys and their opinions on what colors were appropriate for boys to wear/like. It did not take long for someone to ask why I had a pink carabiner for my keys. Again, I thought they were having fun at my expense, which they were, but not because they were lying.

I actually still have the same carabiner for my keys, it has been more than 10 years, and with each year as the darkness faded out of the color more and more, the more pink it became. Like a really slow and steady, "I told you so". Now it looks just grey, but I'm definitely not an expert.

This is the actual shoe!

Again I was in high school when this happened. (I have since learned to not shop for clothing without assistance, I've got a couple more stories about things like this.)

I bought these while I was staying with my mom, who didn't say anything about the color (not the first time she's done that). When I got to my dad's house it took him all of 15 minutes to ask why I had pink shoes on. Yet again I thought he must be picking on me, and yet again he was, but not because he was lying. I had multiple people confirm they were indeed pink and grey.

To be clear. I've got no problem wearing pink, especially because it looks like grey 90 percent of the time. I wore these bad boys until they were falling apart, I thought they were really good looking shoes. These stories just happened at a time when pink was "gay" and to be gay was to be less than in the eyes of highly refined/intelligent teenage boys. And my dad.

I'm a colorblind person living in a colorful world, and all you normal people really like to refer to things by their color.

I can't count the number of times I've tried to refer to an object, be it a car, a building, furniture, etc.. and been looked at like this: https://imgur.com/6SY6BgW Or, when someone is directing me toward somethign by its color, I'll give them the same look.

So when I get it right, it's pretty satisfying.

Dog Tax!

This is my boy, Jasper. He's grey, and I see him pretty much the same way everyone else does.