Make It So

Eleven hours into the new year I asked the love of my life to marry me.

(She said yes!!)

(Pictured above: her hand with the ring over my hand, and doggo's paw for good measure)

Spoke to her manager days before, and got him to give her the day off. She was still on the schedule, but they knew she wouldn't be there. I threw us both a secret engagement party that night and invited all our close friends. She suspected NOTHING. :D

We'd been dating for almost two and a half years. (pictured: NYE 2015)

I had always figured I'd get married at some point. Theoretically.

But I think, subconsciously, I didn't really believe you could meet somebody you sincerely wanted to be around that much. I thought all those happy couples were faking it.

I dated my fair share in my 20s, but I wasn't ever satisfied. I had a very particular idea of who would be my "one true love:" mostly a composite of people I'd seen in the media or abstract ideas of what a partner should be.

I was scared to commit to less because I thought I'd be trapped in a bad relationship forever.

Then, at some point, I gave up on all of it. I stopped looking. I focused on improving myself and my career.

And then this one dropped into my life.

At first I was hesitant.

This was not the plan.

But I slowly warmed up to the idea.

She showed me the difference between "what I thought I wanted" and "what I really wanted."

"What I thought I wanted" made me feel safe.

"What I wanted" terrified me.

And made me _happy_ .

I think that old saying is true: "If you want to find somebody, the first thing you do is stop looking."

I didn't understand that. I thought it was just a cognitive bias thing: you don't notice how long it takes to find someone if you are focused on something else. "Watched pots don't boil." That kind of thing.

Maybe that is part of it.

But another part is trading "looking time" for time spent figuring yourself out. Learning to be a good person, and a good partner.

And most of all, you have to stop looking because you have no idea what they look like yet.

And if you're like me, your imagination is throwing you way, way off the trail.

Trust me.

You'll recognize them when you see them.

It doesn't happen right away.

But one day you look up, and suddenly -

"Oh, it's _you_."

This is going to be my wedding ring. But since she gets to wear her engagement ring all year long, I got jealous and started wearing mine, too.

We're getting married this September.

And I'm excited.

Dancin' hot dog tax.

(Hugs to all the singles on Valentine's Day. I have been where you are, and it's not fun to wait around on somebody. So don't wait around - go out and have an adventure. Challenge yourself. Consider these your last years to get all your "interesting person" practice in before your interesting person comes along.)