CuriosityAndRandomness
141691
2025
27
https://amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2010/oct/17/morgan-freeman-this-much-know-red-film-actor
“I always wanted an earring. It has to do with my attachment to the sea. When I was around 35 I was separated from my wife and she said, "I'm going to pierce your ear." I'm an avid sailor, a dyed-in-the-wool blue-water man. You know why sailors used to wear a gold earring? It's enough money to bury you in a foreign country.”
Bumbleflarts
He also dated children
Noahbalboa82
If the foreign country has tigers, I'd rather be fed to them.
Churlish1
Wait, you guys are getting coffins?
todaytomorrowwillbeyesterday
Headline tomorrow... "Morgan Freeman konked on the head, ear rings stolen" loose lips sink ships
GRaffted
Give off a Jack Weil in the movie "Havana" vibe.
SJBSavageInk
I thought that was more specifically pirates?
EyeRollAtLife
I HAVE to read this in his voice.
taxirelaxi
For a proper burial in the US he needs earrings the size of a plum
TreCruel
when I die, throw me in the trash
lizardbones
does shitty republican doorstep count?
MerkNowitzki
In my will I specifically request to have my body donated to a group of necrophiliacs
heyguysimtom
Same but cock ring
HeadJamistan
Pimps wear tons of bling so that they can get one of the girls to pawn it for bail money.
revanisthesith
Yep. Cops (at least generally) can seize cash, but not personal items like jewelry.
correr96
dghughes
If the earrings are pure gold it's ~$60/gram. That about 20g per earring if they~65 - 70mm circumference that's $2,400 total.
Ihatedecidingonausername
You don't need a coffin to be buried
Imalwaysready
In reality the locals just rob the corpse and kick it into the river. "Uh, yeah, we used the earring to pay for a funeral..."
tgeliot
I read this as "Freeman's earnings" and thought "damn, I would hope so."
eightyearplan
Related probably - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charon%27s_obol
Thephedora
Its a pirate tradition.
keyblader1985
What do I care what happens to my body? I'm dead.
Vicith
Funeral proceedings aren't for the dead, they are to help the loved ones mourn.
crushingbore
What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shit? You're dead, you're dead!
NarratorsVoice
My username feels relevant here so I will say something which you can read in my voice.
AbtachaAboma
Thank you for your service.
RandomGuy12345678910
Titty Sprinkles!
GreaseMonkeyOfLove
You have the voice of David Attenborough!
Snuggelapolous
Really? I got more of a Whoopie Goldberg vibe.
supervillainsevilmoustache
Paul Lynde! He always made me smile when I was a kid
Shamorza
... I have just calculated the likelihood of Morgan Freeman dying lonely in a strange place. it is 0.000000000001%
belongsinamuseum
So, you’ve never heard of that back room in my basement? Good. Very good.
crushingbore
Just going on his birthday and his credits on IMDB, it could have been a problem if he said it when he was 35.
mobiusm1
When I die, load me into a trebuchet and launch me though Mitch McConnell's dining room window.
Tiddlewinkle
You'd just be giving him a free dinner, turtles aren't picky
WoopDeFrickenDoo
"Not again!" ::turtle screech::
YourHem0rrhoid
Jonnymarre
Could have sworn that was a Bob Marley quote
alaest0r
Tittysprinkles
spittytrinkles
Yeah? Oh sorry, nvm.
Blahend
So close
halfemptygoonbag
I dont care if they dont bury me. Ill lie right out there in the gutter for everyone to smell. idgaf
pickleparty91
Frank?
pizzapartyhard
“Just throw me in the trash!”
Smacketywack
Morgan Freeman is not allowed to die. We need him to play God and the president in movies, and to narrate our favorite dramas.
WoopDeFrickenDoo
he narrated the quote I just read
SerenePrincess013
I need Sammy J to narrate my life, bc some things require a more intense vocabulary.
crushingbore
Even if he's not going full SLJ he's really underrated. His brief role in Basterds is fantastic.
SerenePrincess013
Sammy J is the most under-utilised & underrated actor of his generation. Bc everyone gets pearl-clutchy when he cusses.
FeloniousMonk13
ehh, once I'm dead, I really dgaf, just chuck my fat dead ass in the walmart parking lot, all the same to me
PrincessAris
Nah, trebuchet my corpse at the nearest Republican. Take at least one of the fuckers out.
FeloniousMonk13
now that u mention it.. yeah, load me in a cannon and fire me thru Mitch McConnell's window. that'd be fucking ideal.
SociallyAwkwardCanadianMoose
Naked or in a chicken suit?
FeloniousMonk13
hmmm good question.. let's go with just the top half of the chicken suit only.
NotShoutingAnymore
I feel like this is putting a lot of faith in whoever finds my corpse
DingleberryT3rry
LooseyGooseyBrett
Cremation only costs about $4.50 in logs from the grocery store
KaptainObveeus
It's being kind by providing money for a burial, which you would get anyways by kind strangers.
monkeyfly
He's dead, what does he care? It's just due diligence.
Tumescentpie
Sailors have been a superstitious bunch. Religion is a type of superstitious belief. They are just trying to rest in peace.
Chezoso
I'm poor but please fly me east for a sky funeral or even better shoot my corpse into space... Thanks
WonderfunkJones
I need a new bed.
at0msea
Also what are those hoops made out of? Cause I feel like to pay for a coffin and burial they’d have to be uranium.
schlummi
Coastal towns often got graves of unknown sailors. Not that expensive to shovel a grave. Also: its a "collegue". Coastal town -> lots of
schlummi
fisherman. Drowned guy is most likely a fishermen from nearby town. + if you don't bury them: they start to rot in your habour/beach/coast.
revanisthesith
Not to mention sailors are probably among the most superstitious people on earth. Not burying a fellow sailor might not be a good idea.
RatchetnClank
I'll leave your body to be eaten by squirrels and pawn your earrings
brokenheartboozebullets
You misspelled "sharks."
WehWehWeh
That’s what I’d want anyway tbh
SuicidalThrillbillyturnedLunaticChillbilly
We have a Doolittle here!
BatsArentBugs
See now, that’s ALSO an old sailors’ tradition.
MileHighLivin
The ol' squirrely-pawny
LespritDeLescalier22
Squirrelly Jones’ locker
c64masterrace
I feel like you will be putting a lot of faith in those squirrels
LoneWulf17
c64masterrace
TIL Vader is a bunch on squirrels driving a robotic suit