IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
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Ok! Here it goes! I’m 37 and single. I don’t want kids. Not mine or anyone else’s.... before ya get goin... I’m a product of a divorced family. So I’m well aware of the roll a step dad plays. I’m thankful for mine. But I’m not him and that’s not me.
Moving on... At my age, and with everything that’s going on right now. Things seem Fucking hopeless. Not only is dating fucking not possible. But everyone my age either has kids, or wants them.
... my lovely mother, who I love very much, in reference to this said... and I quote. “Then you’re going to be alone for a very long time.”
That’s been eating at me ever since. I even tried dating someone with a kid, and I can’t hack it. Now I feel bad for potentially hurting someone because of it.
I swore to my self, for my family, that I wouldn’t kill myself until after they were dead. I’m sticking to that. But godddammit! I’m over this life. I’m fucking over it!
Sorry for no cat tax. I don’t have a cat. Thanks for letting me vent.
mrshinethediamond
29F and I don't want kids, and I'm pretty sure I can't have them. It's ok to not want children. Enjoy your life the way you want to!
ProblematicYeeting
We do exist, the nonchild bearing.hate to say it like this but there are quite a few women out there without fertility. Dont lose hope
SuperFatGirl
You can date in your 50s, people with kids already grew up for the most part if your partner had kids.
ColdRice
I’m sure you know this but you’re not obligated to date or marry anyone. If you’re content right now then let it be.
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
I mean. I’m cool with myself. Just lonely.
VanillaMowgli
First off, you should get s cat. Second off, there’s TONS o wimminzez out there no wunty tha Babi.
anyway188136
36, female and single. No kids. I dated younger for the fun, but we are out there.
frostybox
I'm 40 and in the first good relationship of my life, sometimes it takes time. I knew I never wanted kids, that doesn't change.
peeeopeepeee
Befriend someone you can love, and if your futures seem compatible go for it. Age doesn't change that equation
loveinyoda
Amen. Love yourself. Kids are not the answer for everyone.
asdykeasadutchdam
You should still be ready to accept reality that most people do want kids and you'll have a much more difficult time in that age group.
Galaktia
32. been in a relationship for 8 years. Neither of us want kids.
Galaktia
people like us do exist, just keep ticking along and find someone you can chill with
Affablesea9917
There's a subreddit called r/truechildfree you might be interested in. There's a bunch of women your age that don't want kids and it seems-
Affablesea9917
Like to them that all guys their age want kids. In in my early 20s so i don't know shit about being in your 30s but i think you'll find-
Affablesea9917
Someone. Also it kinda seems like your mom is being an asshole because she wants grandkids or something
CinnamonBunny
*role. Also not everyone has kids or wants them.
NoIamAlpharius
There's more single people who don't want kids than you might think. I would recommend larger metropolitan areas.
cenataur
My mother's been saying the same for years. Out of stubbornness and spite, I've hurt so many people who tried to get close... Hang in there!
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
I’m trying.
tirrafirma
Your mother is wrong im also 37 and dont want kids. Mine or anyone else's. Even had a vasectomy. Turns out lots of women feel the same. 1/2
SlappedStupid
I concur. I am a woman. I don't mind other people's kids, but I don't want to be responsible for bringing someone into the world if I ->
SlappedStupid
can't guarantee that they will live a happy, healthy life & treat other people & the planet with respect. I do not have the means, or the ->
SlappedStupid
strength of character to do so myself, so I cannot expect this from others, including my own children, so I won't have any. Simple.
tirrafirma
Also your at the age now were lots 9f women will have had kids that are just about grown up now. And divorcing...this is a sweet spot :)
ScorneontheCob
The world is overpopulated & full of millennials like you with their own trauma/reasons for not wanting kids, you’ll find someone
Arakon
Found my girlfriend at 42, neither of us want kids. Don't let her bullshit get to you.
actualseal
You deserve someone. Someone deserves you. As crazy as that may sound.
WaveringOne
I am an infertile woman (39), just married the perfect guy who doesn't want any kids (34). We both felt like you once. Don't give up.
WaveringOne
Hilariously, his mom really got in a tissy at us not to have babies right now. He had to tell her off because, I quote-
WaveringOne
"I am not telling you about our squidgy biological things, but STOP. WORRYING. We're DEFINITELY not having kids in the pandemic." lol
WaveringOne
Just conveniently not mentioning that me having kids would require very intentional fertility treatment. And 35+ is NOT optimal baby time.
WaveringOne
And I don't want to have a teenager in my 50's! OOF. So it's 100% off the table. Even if I had wanted them once, it is too. damn. late.
WaveringOne
And, PS, I never seriously wanted them. Was open in my 20's, but now? Pff, fuck it. My life is mine alone and it's great. :)
QueenBaculum
Don't stress it's like a childish threat, your face is going to get stuck that way. Mine does the same, like being alone is bad. I like
QueenBaculum
Being alone, and I like having the bed to myself, and getting all the brownie corners. As long as you're alone and not lonely.
teenski
Figure out why that is fucking with you first. Do you believe you are facing loneliness? Do you feel lonely now?
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
Loneliness is the biggie. Otherwise, I’m pretty cool with myself.
baronvonpoopypants
Talk to a professional therapist, not Imgur. You got some issues keeping you from living your best life.
Gamer4125
Therapy is expensive.
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
I’ve had a couple. Didn’t help. I can’t afford another right now. Hence... imgur.
stereomiljac8888
MDMA!
missboohiss
It can take some time to find the right fit. Search online, read reviews. If you need some help looking, let me know.
SpookyScarySkelejens
Save up and talk to someone. Cereal. Its worth it.
arkangelbb
Find some stuff you like doing and find some really, really great friends to do that stuff with, your life will do a 180 when you have 1/2
arkangelbb
Something to look forward to. 2/2
traumapatient
I live in northeast. Tons of my friends are single, want to meet someone, don’t want kids. Maybe a move is less drastic than suicide.
Flibbertyjib
‘Maybe’ lol
Snarkoleptic
Here in the UK wanting children in your 20s-30s seems inversely proportional to education or intelligence level. You should do what you want
UnspokenX
I know I am all of those, but I'm having a real hard time finding someone who doesn't want kids so badly even I can tell.
HellfireJags
But, then that whole suicide plan will have gone to waste, and I don't want to ruin all my hard work.
ChevelleInMontana
In the Northwest (mt) 34 and single... its not any better up here.
[deleted]
[deleted]
clevernametom
From Boston, live in RI now. Can confirm.
whitebbwolf
also called Ghosttowns cause just vanishing is the preferred way of 90% of these to communicating they do not want to continue things
roskapoika
Do I live in some sort of alternative universe? I'm 30 and NONE of my friends nor enemies want to bring kids to this burning world.
MardukRules
I like that you discuss this sort of thing even with your enemies.
roskapoika
Like seriously, the ones still wanting kids have hard time finding someone to take that risk (or to have money..)
roskapoika
Everyone around here has accepted that we are the last generations before the collapse.
TerribleDawn
Yeah. I'm 34 and honestly I've been surprised by each of the (very few) baby news in my social circle. I'm happy there's 0 social pressure!
AriBoBari
Seconding this. I live in NYC and nobody I know wants kids. Come join us. The dating scene is great, even in your 30s.
LadyBumps
What about in your 40's...and don't live in the US? Lol
ieatmop
I'm single, in my 30s, and relocating to NYC in March. This is good news that has brightened my morning.
WheezyLex
Darnit. If only I wasn’t in the service, I’d make a move. I can relate to @OP very much so. :/
whitebbwolf
if the city only would still offer good living options for creatives or similar.
AriBoBari
Try Bushwick. I have several artists in my friend circle and they seem to be doing all right (when it’s not a pandemic)
whitebbwolf
thank you. I ll visit when Murica is safe-ish again. but I think I d rather hang my hat where theres universal healthcare
AriBoBari
Don’t blame you
JennyIronTeeth
Go get the snip and live your life.
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
If I could afford it, I would.
Shpielers
Mine was 1700 without insurance. Best investment I've ever made. With insurance, it should be in the free - 100 range.
JustaDick
Should be and are often differ. That's an elective surgery bro. No getting those right now and it wouldn't be covered.
DigitalGuru42
Mine was elective and covered by ins. Also, it's also usually an outpatient procedure in a Dr office, not a hospital.
Shpielers
Mine was
HughGRecti0n
I have a feeling this guy knows what he’s talking about.
SarahTheOtherOne
As a 32 year old female who doesn’t have kids and doesn’t particularly want them. Hang in there. We exist.
IFuckinAtodaso
Yes we dooooo! And high fives for us!
RiverMelSong
RiverMelSong
What Sarah said, I'm 32 too, never wanted kids, still don't, can't imagine ever wanting any. We aren't as rare as you'd think :)
PringlesandTea
Also agree.
SarahTheOtherOne
There are dozens of us! Dozens!
TedTheMan
Or fews...
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
Do any of you live in southwest Washington?
thejessicat05
I’m a lady who never had kids nor wanted them. Don’t give up - we exist!
lEetfuk
have u tried playing for the other team? wink wink*
TerribleDawn
I know this is a joke but come on, this is a serious post and she's devastated. Secondly, you know sexual orientation isn't a choice, right?
hadtodownvote1
And not a guarantee of no kids. The partner can still want to adopt
Lawrieberkeley
? I like this
gofloatyourself
neddieseagoon
Run your own race. Family pressures are not in your lane.
StillBreathin
So well said! I'm a sucker for metaphors, but damn! So well said.
heyrelaxfellayouneedarestguy
Bro. Get some hobbies. Bang younger gals. My divorced single 30’s were the best years of my life by far. Shit is what you make it
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
I appreciate that. I’m a musician. Doing what I can. But I can’t play live shows right now because of the pandemic.
WrongUn
Gotta say, the annihilation of social opportunities, makes meeting new people impossible atm. I hope things calm down soon and you can...
WrongUn
Meet the right girl. You tried dating apps? It can work, i met my SO on Tinder, we both dont want kids, we like dogs better!
heyrelaxfellayouneedarestguy
That’s badass. I’m sorry your industry has been decimated. My buddy is a guitarist and has started a YouTube teaching guitar. Good luck bud
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
Thank you.
heyrelaxfellayouneedarestguy
I got a vasectomy when I was married. Going into relationships and having that out there has helped with the kids thing for me.
stoicgoof
Lady here, also don't have kids and don't want kids. There are dozens of us we exist. Assuming you're a straight dude IDK your life
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
I am.
stoicgoof
michBeast
So you dont want kids but not having a partner is unbearable for you? Whats the problem with being single? I kind of dont understand.
ProgeriaProstitutes
I understand. I'd never want to go back to being single
NiftyGoblin
Im dating someone and kind of scared of committing because I've gotten so comfortable single
WrongUn
What don't you understand about being lonely? You can want physical and emotional companionship but not be endeared to kids
asdykeasadutchdam
Then don't box yourself into the severe minority for your age group. DUH.
WrongUn
Ok
Chefofrats
Are you daft? My wife is my best friend and gives my life meaning, but I fucking hate kids and never want any.
michBeast
Your opinion on kids would change if they are your own. But of course im fine with that opinion anyways.
killerqueen
Foster kids and adopted kids exist. Minds don't always change like that
killerqueen
Also there is an entire subreddit for regretful parents.
Chefofrats
Yes, you definately know me better than myself, after 40 years of getting on with my life. Thanks for the opinion!
michBeast
Pleasure
michBeast
And in fact, there are more people that dont want kids but in fact our situation makes it a bit difficult right now.
TheOneAndOnlySomething
I find being single super lonely. I have a hard time being truely vulnerable around people and a relationship where I can be vulnerable is >
TheOneAndOnlySomething
important too me. Being home alone with just my thoughts can go really bad
KnowmSaying
Please don't take offense but you ought to work on that instead of using a partner as a crutch.
TheOneAndOnlySomething
Yep, in therapy which helps. And I've been single for the past for years to avoid dating for the wrong reasons. Just tired of being alone
TheOneAndOnlySomething
Point I was making is, comment asked what's wrong with being single. Nothing wrong with not wanting to be single
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
I’m hoping to meet that person that also doesn’t have/want kids. It’s been a long road. And no luck so far.
deaththeunholy
I'm 32, married a woman who doesn't want kids either, even got snipped myself. They do exist, just sadly not the majority
HighlandViking
Serious question: what was / is getting snipped like? Considering it too.
deaththeunholy
About 10 awkward min of a doc playing with your numb balls then it randomly felt like you were kicked in the nuts over the next week or so
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
That gives me hope. I appreciate it.
ArcheiaSophiaMetatronsWife
There is someone out there for you. You'll likely find her when you aren't really looking. Don't give up hope on her. She exists.
hmangels
Message me bro anytime.
hmangels
I want to and plan on being single my whole life. It’s a viable option and has lots of perks.
Don’t worry what anyone else does. Be true 2 U
ameranthe
I am a woman in my late 30s, and out of my four best friends, same age, only one has or wants a kid.
Perfzilla
your mom is full of shit
gheorghiumihai77
So, you and OP are full of shit.
thechillpilgrim
She means well. And don't kill yourself. Very soon you'll have options where the kids are older and have left home...
KareBear1980
Nah, if she meant well she'd tell her child there are plenty of people who don't want children and to not give up.
gheorghiumihai77
She told him the truth. He is gonna be alone for a long time if he does not change something drastic in his life. Spend time with people.
IamNoOneToBeTrifledWith
I don’t disagree. But she has been a wonderful mom. She just puts her foot in her mouth sometimes.
malbec
Sometimes people can be great at one thing and horrible at another. Hitler was a vegetarian pet loving artist.
LychFinderGeneral
Jesus. Godwin's law moved fast in this post.
malbec
Shhhhh. Just enjoy the ride.
Perfzilla
even the best of us are full of shit sometimes
ForTheDumps
Talk to her about what she said and how you feel. No doubt she loves you and doesn't realize she's hurting you like this.
TheOneAndOnlySomething
She's not full of shit. She's been programmed to think that kids are the ultimate goal. Me and my ex gf broke up because she never wanted>
TheOneAndOnlySomething
children and I did. There are women out there who don't want to pop out a kid, they're usually just quiet cause they're sick of being told >
TheOneAndOnlySomething
"you don't want kids!?? You just think that now, you'll want them someday!" by people who can't accept that not everyone is like them
TheOneAndOnlySomething
We broke up because of it, but I respect her choice and never tried to convince her otherwise. Fuck other people's expectations, you do you
Onsvaltti
I am a trans man, my fiance is a woman. We can't have kids, and neither of us wants, either. Her mom is sad because she wants tons of ->