rogersimon10
186318
4430
183
Nov 23, 2017 12:34 PM
rogersimon10
186318
4430
183
TurderKing
MondayFortunato
In fairness, hell ain't a bad place to be
DrKriegersClone
I mean, if you take Revelations literally, the saved will be 144,000 male virgins. Out of all humanity, ever.
Stefanfr1997
Have you MET a human being before? You'd understand why that is the case if you have.
JamesWonder
Hairway to Steven
screamingshits
https://media.tenor.com/images/a902a7ab5c729684a5c6f072c4ae13d5/tenor.gif
MaxximumB
Now that's what I call some serious thinking.
RupertR
Hells gonna be a party. I hope I'm wrong so I can party with all my boys there
menoduh
Thats great
erwanairone360
This post needs *exactly* 666 upvotes
Mephane
Gotbread
does it have a speed limit?
GarnerLeidy
RIP Malcolm.
BklynPunisher
Ragnarok1349
With 666 Lanes ;)
mkyner
Still not as bad as the 401.
AtheistNotAntiTheist
well according to the ol' religion thingy ma bob. A heck of a lot more people go to hell than heaven.Very difficult to get upstairs.
AntiCircleJerker
How many reposts are in OP's submitted folder if we look? I doubt this is the only one. *Looks* Yup, tons of reposts.
jgordon71jg12
5/7
1minus1FoxPLURALtogivePASTPARTICIPLE
Gonna use the elevator. Goes up AND down.
ForgotMyGorramUsername
Going to hell requires a road trip. Heaven is upstairs in bed.
blonx
Just take the highway to the danger zone
DooksandPooks
It’s one of those one person wide tiny spiral staircases and you feel heavier with each step upwards.
rikm
...and there will be gridlock level traffic jams and the AC won't work in your car...
screamingshits
and your bran muffin will kick in with no toilet for miles
TheGingerZombie
There's also the implication that all wheelchair users must be terrible people, if no one felt the need to also install a ramp to heaven.
albl1122
RIP Stephen Hawking
ohdeepthought
Well fat people too but that’s mainly because glutton is a sin not that they’d have to climb stairs.
alwaysL8
In fairness, we do have several stories of God healing people's legs so they can walk.
TheMasterOfAllCats
Weird al yankovic should do a song called 'escalator to purgatory'.
Andalite
This is older than some users.
Huggitt17
*most
JackOfPizzas
I can remember my dad saying this in the early 90's
IM4M
*80's
AwkwardKeming
So, apparently god hates the handicapped?
Mechlai
No, the afterlife just doesn't have spirit neutrality. You have to pay more to get into heaven, haven't you heard?
Ireadtoomuch
and obese people
neil137
Those who are first shall be last, and those who are last shall be first
AwkwardKeming
This is a bad policy for using perishables. FIFO
IronicUsername
I mean, look what he did to their legs!
AdmJota
This is Heaven, remember? There's a booth handing out free legs for anyone who needs them.
AwkwardKeming
If you can get there...
AdmJota
(Of course, these days there'd be people complaining that it's discriminatory that the legs are only offered to people taking the stairs...)
TylerTheAnarchist
Your not handicapped when you die.
BigErnsDaycare
creeperfrenzy
I may sound like a religous person but I think that it's a metaphor for how hard it is to get to both destinations. You can speed down 1/2
LeeroyTheBird
ohdeepthought
Highway to hell was inspired by canning highway in Perth... it still has not improved.
DJNyccyNyck
I was told it's not about getting to the destination, its about enjoying the ride.
MsHoneybadger
I seriously doubt AC/DC and Robert Plant had this in mind when writing the songs...
tzxAzrael
planned or not, still unpleasantly accurate lol
PenguinQuack
No they most likely had marijuana and cocaine in their minds!
Ginepri
that must have been a decision making meeting that I would not be dozion off in...
IronicUsername
I think its just the name of 2 unrelated songs by different bands and isn't a metaphor for anything.
MsHoneybadger
Agreed.
creeperfrenzy
Most likely
creeperfrenzy
To hell but it takes more work to get up to heaven 2/2
DarknessReborn10
then we use a jetpack
TurderKing
Especially for paraplegics.
arrbos
Entropy, man.
JackOfPizzas
They say in heaven; love comes first. We'll make heaven a place on earth!
oneandonleeroy
When the night falls down.
blowingsmokewithkimbo7
To bad there is people like Kevin Spacey here. That's a weird kind of love man
grid10ck
“For broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.But narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
Kristetutseende
A vagina is narrow indeed.
Martinblade
Vocalizedew94
.
The701
Sounds like a poorly-made, rigged system that needs some serious infrastructure improvement.
tesseract4d2
Kinda like big ISP's!
ensensu
Narrow the road that leads to life? Was the person talking about infant mortality?
80percentlegs
- Michael Scott
pogoball
Amen brotha man
exoskeletonsforcats
What i learned from this is if shes tight shes alright and if you feel a breeze you gon get stds
exoskeletonsforcats
Not the best rhyme but hey i tried
IcyHamGrahmwhich
Fuckin nailed it.
thefrayedendsofsanity
But John came in fifth and won a toaster.
RonaldFckingSwanson
Maybe bcs stairway has less throughoutput and highway has more, so ppl take a chance and risk it on a highway.
moredman
.
CliffyWeevil
I've got a narrow urethra.
helpidontknowmyname
Thank you. Not religious, but this is a true statement from any angle.
TheZulthar
Angel*
KCBeard
Get touched
page74
Clever boy
Pineappleinthedesert
Agree 100%
indigorush101
Refreshing to see Scripture quoted in a relevant context on the Internet!
SpiderDetective
And not being used to justify hating gays. My God, it's nice!
vipe650r
Yes. Feel like I need to sit down for a second there.
RealRaceRiotsAreAboutGettingBlueshelledInMarioKart
"She lusted after lovers with genitals as large as a donkey's and emissions like those of a horse." Ezekiel 23:20 NLT
blowingsmokewithkimbo7
Ops mom probably
CinnabonFury
Racack
Same
thattheologyguy
Yeah, this has to do with the idolatry of the nation of Judah and Israel. It's strong, but consider the context. God took care of them 1/2
thattheologyguy
for a LONG time, and they rebel and go after their own Gods. It'd be like watching as your wife commits adultery. You'd be angry too. 2/2
PleaseAMArelatedtomachining
No not really. We don't create our spouses.
mkoormtbaalt
"You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn't get you anywhere! 1/2
mkoormtbaalt
Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16... Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!". 2/2
XanCrews
MikeyEugene
"Swiggitty swooty, I'm comin' for that booty." -Gospel of Birb
tesseract4d2
"I'll get that bitch a stick, bitches love sticks" -Gospel of Birb
Smile4me7
“Betty loves blue sticks” -Gospel of Birb
tesseract4d2
"Blue AND Yellow" -Gospel of Birb
Murica777
After this I had a vision of a great multitude, which no one could count, from every nation, race, people, and tongue. They stood before /1
Murica777
the throne and before the Lamb, wearing white robes and holding palm branches in their hands. They cried out in a loud voice: /2
HobosDickCheese
/3 jet fuel can’t melt steel beams!
Murica777
“Salvation comes from our God, who is seated on the throne, and from the Lamb.” /3
KCBeard
PTSEL! (Praise The Seven Eyed Lamb)
arrbos
Yeah, the Bible can descend into complete nonsense sometimes, just like every other religious text. :P
arrbos
One moment it's like "hey be cool to each other" and the next it's "kill everyone except the girl children and make them your sex slaves"