AllanMaynersly
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First time most viral WHOOP WHOOP! And it's all thanks to a STELLAR top comment from @TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsBojack (TAFKAB for short) dragging me up with him! Propers!
PSIGAMER
Eating a chocolate bar made from that and you’ll be good till the end of your life.
TimeTraveller264
Just one gram will feed you for the rest of your life
w2lter
Is it keto tho?!
LynzardQueen
So... What happens if I use it on my ice cream?
Tyco2
Gluten, milk and egg free.
Draciella
A life time supply
theguywiththevoice
But ironically excellent for weight loss
IamNICE124
You COULD eat it..
Shinydudenexa
Actually you'll probably lose 7 pounds in an instant
beardedwolfedude
Question is, will I need Tums?
thisisausernamelikeanyothersbutthisonesmellsweird
You cant uptake calories if you snort it
Nailsandhammer
Its gluten free !
rollsteelertide
Seems like a very efficient meal. Just eat a gram and I don’t have to eat the rest of my life! My very, very short life...
vauhtihirmu
That's like 331 extra lives considering average life time caloric intake needs.
razorgirl1066
Can you bake yellow cake with it?
BlueTyphoon
... Take your +1. but I'm not happy about it.
qtRaven
That's enough to feed you for the rest of your life!
Brandy321
feel the burn
Yprox5
bripi
I am so sick of U getting a shit rap....this is the fuel of perfect abundance, at least until fusion comes online, which is always/1
bripi
"10 years away" which it has been my entire life. Nuclear power IS the goddamned future, if we'd put a little gov't backing into it.
RobJenkins
QuickBunny
Enough for a lifetime
ABitAngry
Great now I want to eat it.
Bystandr
The half that's gone doesnt all disappear, however. You get cool decay products!
?1
AllanMaynersly
It's all good in U hood.
IsaacNuetron
Dietary, or heat?
AllanMaynersly
Either way you're screwed.
Arcanum3000
Looks closer to forbidden cocoa powder to me.
AllanMaynersly
Depends on if it's UO2 or U3O8.
Courier87
At least you'll be full for the rest of your life
bripi
ya can't eat or process U for bodily functions, so this doesn't work.
Alex1Light
Which probably won't be long
SanguineMyBrother
A lifetime supply is the same thing as a lethal dose.
KareemAbdulJabroni
20 billion calories? Not great not terrible.
vauhtihirmu
I did the math once, you could fulfill the average caloric intake needs of about 331 life times with that one gram. Not great, not terrible.
bripi
except the calories need to be able to be processed, which U-235 calories are certainly not.
TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsBojack
Total scam though. I opened my box 4.468 Billion years after buying and it was only half of the supposed amount inside.
sact3rnlang3l
Haha... Nerd
Miatopsnek
Kinda your fault there. You shouldn't blame the seller for your user error of waiting 4 billion years.
capnsebastian
ShimmerinStrider
Oh my god. You're wonderful
AllanMaynersly
So...diet U?
TheMuteDoge
LtKifKroker
... said the Little Boy to the Fat Man
BadPunCentral
I don't know why but I have this sudden urge to play Half Life
ScruffyHerderOfNerfs
This. This comment is why I saw this post tonight. The fates have brought me here, -to comment Valhalla- to behold this greatness.
AllanMaynersly
He totally dragged this post to the FP. Props.
IainG101
Could be worse; the quality brand, organic version evaporates like that after only 152,000 years....
GaldorOfNihlem
Worst part to is that most of it isn't even uranium anymore, total scam smh
OneOneNiner
Me no understand
AllanMaynersly
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decay_chain. This may help
The701
*Contents may have settled to a lower energy state.
DIINKELBERG
I work in a nuclear medic station and told my co-workers this joke. Congrats. You made on of the thoughest guy i know laugh
TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsBojack
Nu-cu-lar. It's pronounced nu-cu-lar. And you're welcome, although i didn't originally invent that joke.
Etal10001
Go search for uranium on amazon and read the reviews if you want more good material :)
snoffler
I know nothing about sciencey stuff but the way this is worded makes me suspect it's a smart-person joke... so I'm gonna laugh like I get it
TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsBojack
Yeah, it's some Rick & Morty level of humor. You gotta be quite intelligent to understand it and appreciate its subtlety.
FullMetalMonika
Half life of uranium is that time amount, meaning it takes that time to decay to 1/2 of it's original amount
ConfederacyOfDunces
It doesn't actually decay to half it's amount. It decays into a different form of uranium. But that was the joke yes
ShiningForceMax
UUUGGGHHH. +1 I guess.
ThisMayBeMyLastPost
Check for markings of best before date
AllanMaynersly
If we got a truck of UF6 labeled "Best Before," that would be the best joke in the history of nuclear energy.
magikmarker
Uranium decays into another isotope of uranium. I don't think that you would actually see, or even be able to weigh a difference.
mmontour
It spends a bit of time as U-234 but it eventually ends up as an isotope of lead. It also emits alpha particles which become helium gas.
IainG101
And most of those other isotopes will have futher decayed until they hit 235, and that decays into not-uranium
AllanMaynersly
Really the precision and accuracy of the balance/scale.
TheArtistFormerlyKnownAsBojack
Please simplify for the sake of the joke.
DoctorHogmaster
No carbs though, so that’s something.
bripi
nice...now if only humans could process 235 for fuel...what *amazing* creatures we would be!!
sleeprtsi
Keto friendly
sjbrooksy7447
Gluten free
ChromeAtom
All natural
AsFarAsIKnow
non-GMO
raggnUpvotePilot
Organic
MichaelKeenan
Only real problem is that it tastes like metal.
TruncatedAppendages
But is it vegan?
PackedCatMeowingPowerDensity
Yea, I'm gonna stop you right there. Organic implies the presence of carbon. :)
LaforgeMRA
SergeantTerryJeffords
Biodiesel is safe ro consume
Pentacus
♫ wake me up before you go-go ♫
Sharkostomy
Well duh, it's made of dinosaurs.
iheartsbewbs
Orange Mocha Frappuccino!
goflyblind
PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY
asifwewouldbesomeonebetter
If gasolene holds that much calories, why my car ain't fat
CynicalEuropean
Calories in - Calories burned. Works for humans as well
myUsernameWasAlreadyTakenAndIHaveAcceptedMyFate
Yes but that's an overly simplistic model that has no real practical use in humans
alexburgers
They made a mistake in their units (calories/kilocalories)
TheKoolAidMans
Yeah that's the problem with North America just dropping the kila part and calling it calories alot of Americans dont know theres a diffrenc
IMayOrMayNotHaveTroubleFindingAndOrChoosingAUsername
Which regions of English DO pronounce the kilo in kcal when laymen are talking about nutrition/food? What about other languages?
myUsernameWasAlreadyTakenAndIHaveAcceptedMyFate
Yea all countries do this to my knowledge and its annoying just enough to bother me.
alexburgers
Ads in my language drop the kilo as well, which is one of my pet peeves (along with 'dermatologically tested' without actual results given)
IMayOrMayNotHaveTroubleFindingAndOrChoosingAUsername
Exactly, "Sure, it was tested, but what did the test SHOW?" -- me, every single time
MrStealYogurt
Yep. Its 31,000 dietary Calories, which is still pretty insane.
alexburgers
Compare to the same weight in potatoes or whatever and you'll probably end up with a similar order of magnitude number.
Jusmar
How much of that gasoline is metabolized though
MrStealYogurt
All of it. The government doesn’t want you to know you can drink it and run everywhere because it would ruin the automotive industry.
BronzeLeaguePro
So it's 31 000 KILO-calories? It says k right on the unit, do you guys just not know how metric work?
MrStealYogurt
A calorie = 1 calorie, a Calorie (capital C) = 1 k/cal or 1,000 calories. Dietary Calories are measured in k/cal, so it’s 31,000 Calories.
myUsernameWasAlreadyTakenAndIHaveAcceptedMyFate
It's just kcal, k/cal would be 1000ths per calorie which makes no real sense :)
MrStealYogurt
They’re referring to human calorie requirements not in k/cal, and using that number for their math. So they’re off by a factor of 1,000.