KXIl
464075
11591
251
Couple games
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/MemeEconomy/comments/6ldgyn/found_a_new_format_there_seems_to_be_some/?st=j4r1gzur&sh=f6447973
Jul 5, 2017 1:29 PM
KXIl
464075
11591
251
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/MemeEconomy/comments/6ldgyn/found_a_new_format_there_seems_to_be_some/?st=j4r1gzur&sh=f6447973
EarlQuortington
Hooray! They're adopting!
randoigno
manedfox
TIL there is a Meme economy subreddit.
ProudMuggle
OfficialJoeBiden
There was a prank similar to this. The woman lied about being pregnant, then her SO told her that he can't have children.
Mephane
Thismuchistrue
And that's when the fight started.
BoogerDiva
http://imgur.com/8DBnwB1
ILoveCreamPies
Lots of women hate in this thread. It is Imgur after all, I guess. :/
phyzzx
Look at the URL to be sure.
raggedyanneonacid
Goddamnitmisterrnoodle
iamalreadyaghost
Well in my family a vasectomy doesn't make you sterile it just changes the colour of the baby
IronCobra
It's a miracle :O
EroticZombiePants
There's dudes that have sired kids after getting vasectomies.
blairmichod
That's likely not lack of sterility but rather vasectomies occasionally reversing spontaneously.
Buttress
Doctor told my dad he was sterile. 6 kids later... I think the doc *might* have been wrong.
LifeHasManyDoorsEddBoy
He didn't get a second option after the first confirmed paternal test? Or did he want kids?
Buttress
You know, I don't know. I do know that he didn't want children though.
dreamstamp
dethmetalgear
I will always upvote this stupid duck laughing
dreamstamp
FeelDaThundah
Anwinity
This.
Dysseus
Sterility can mean you are below a certain sperm count making it unlikely but not impossible to impregnate. Or his sperm count went up
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
They really shouldn't call it sterility in those cases. "Aseptic" perhaps? "Sanitized"? The difference between 99.99% and 99.999999999%
Dysseus
there are 6ish types of sterility. with different causes, treatments and symptoms. One gives you a normal count, but low ejaculate volume
drowningfishy
Happened to my sister and he was wearing a rubber, and she was on birth control. But that's what she gets for doing the nasty in a church.
drowningfishy
DNA test prove it's his, tadpole check later confuses his doctor how this could be. The one swimmer he produced is my niece.
TheJudgeHasItBackwards
This ends badly. Eaither she cheated, or she is going to have to get a paternity test to prove she didn't,will be under the stigma till then
pirateninjaunicornattacksquad
You can take pre-native paternity tests. Although they do carry a very small amount of risk.
AGrammeIsBetterThanADamn
The risk of prenatal testing is unmerited considering the parentage doesn't change and the baby will be more accessible in a few short weeks
TheJudgeHasItBackwards
Depending on how far along she is. If she just found out it still might be a few weeks. And that feeling is caustic from both points of view
pirateninjaunicornattacksquad
No denying that.
RobJenkins
Obviously the second coming of Christ
ProbablyAtWork
nut after nut
Ullala
Plot twist: He really is sterile and she really is pregnant.
Ayelis
...and it's still his! :o
wraivon
My Dad thought he was sterile and convinced my mom that I was a stomach virus for the first three months.
wuzzyvear
These viruses sure are adapting quickly nowadays. They've gone as fars as learning human speak and accessing Imgur. I'd better call the CDC.
wraivon
I'll admit that my human facade slips now and again and I wouldn't exactly call me fluent in human speak.
kittenjeep
This can't be true. Why is his smile so huge while publicly announcing something that's usually kept personal?
DarthKaiser
Got her to marry him with the promise of kids, but he doesn't really want them. Full proof plan to avoid. Duh. (no. it's photoshopped)
soso456
Oh you...
kenyonkm
This isn't the real picture... I actually know this couple. They did a super cute photo shoot announcing their pregnancy.
kittenjeep
Whew! I didn't want to have to believe this
mattsall
Sterile is such an odd way of saying infertile
pyrogdubc
I prefer Out of Order.
jmarkson
I believe men to opt for the term sterile, women infertile
Fractallergy
Suffered a groin injury in teenage years, doc said I'd never have kids. Three kids now, confirmed mine. Things sometimes heal.
ronnyhugo
Or your doctor was a moron :P
SingleNiceFedoraWearingClassyGuycautiondonotfriendzone
How handsome is the person who confirmed they were your kids
ShadowBannedForMakingMemes
So what hit you so hard that it made a doctor think you were sterile?
TonyBalogna
Adulthood.
SonOfATwitchKappa
Damn. That hit too close to home.
jtays
My uncle was told he was sterile. Has 4 kids and they're all his. They look exactly like him.
DecentDeviant
Paternity test?
srslydude
You mean practically being his clones isn't good enough?
jtays
It's crazy how much the look like his baby pictures.
Ihavewaytoomanyfavoritestosort
Yeah the doctors thought my dad was sterile too, but the second opinion came when my sister was born with his genes.
Bourbonkers
Life...finds a way
OaksParcel
The doctor's genes?
JARKB
Did he wash them first?
sciencebasedlifeform
*jeans
MuayThaiKitty
Yeah I wasn't supposed to be here: vasectomy didn't stick apparently haha
loxzroz
oh my sweet summer child...
dingdongawhatiswronga
Nunununo, are you trying to imply that the mom cheated? Because the commenter said "with my dad's genes," which means that they probably 1/2
dingdongawhatiswronga
That they probably tested for it.
loxzroz
oh my sweet summer child....
H3CKL3R
I like how you added "with his genes".
UonlyThinkyourDead
all i thought of , http://imgur.com/FQhi5vS
KingoftheCommentLurkers
segfaultytowers
How long has it been since you've seen your Dad's twin uncle?
Ihavewaytoomanyfavoritestosort
They're not twins and the answer is last father's day.
ShouldersDeepInAHorse
9 months I think.
Wolf2Worrior
Twin uncle?
Hungrypiemonger
http://imgur.com/eVoKhQJ
Zeroji
But... He was already his own brother in law? How does this work?
Hungrypiemonger
his brother is also his brother in law, because she married her Other brother. she swapped husbands/brother/brother-in-laws
Wolf2Worrior
His sister left him for his brother? Is that what I just read?
Snickerdoodle2
I assumed he meant sister-wife in the same sense as the TLC series
Hungrypiemonger
brother-in-law, his sisterwife married her own brother...also his brother. his brother is his brother-in-law.
KingoftheGoldfish
Wow, I guess he isn't actually sterile.
francisc2003
Or he isn't the daddy xD
Mslurksalot
One can hope
TheMiseryOfOthersMakesMeHappy
You poor, sweet, thing.
Bloodtearer
Wow, I guess she's really a slut
thatduckingguy
kids gunna look like the ups guy
RustyNeX
oh my sweet summer child
AndreasEriksen
Hahahha
Moradeth
Letsseewhatyougot
Shhhh.....just let them keep their innocence
WitchofBabylon
I don't understand the joke. I thought the joke was that the guy isn't actually sterile
anakhasilver
Supposedly the joke is she cheated, but people like to think in absolutes and it's highly likely that he just isn't as sterile as he thinks.
Zombiedrd
It is something like 20% of men aren't the biological father of the kid they think is theirs. So not the majority, but not insignificant.
Zombiedrd
They are saying she cheated. 1 in 5 men aren't the biological father of a child they think they are. Adultery rates are near 50% in
Zombiedrd
developed nations, so the joke is more likely cheat baby than his.
Steelflameblade
That is actually true though. Shy of having the balls flat out removed, its rare to be perfectly sterile. It just takes one sperm to live.
SirTiberius
Seriously, my dad was sterile. I am the 3rd of 7 children, and all look like him in some way.
wagex
im perfectly sterile, my vas deferens are goneski's adoios no more kids for me.
VoxDawg
WebMD says it's called "non-obstructive azoospermia" and it's more common than you'd think.
NotAnIroningBoard
Thought it was more than one, isn't the wall of the egg difficult for just one to get through?
imnotfatimjustbigboned
Usually the first sperm to penetrate the cell wall of the egg dies, it's the second or third sperm that does the fertilizing
beoluves
Think hundreds, maybe.
rumandbass
So it's like work. You slave away and then your boss gets the credit.
BlueKarat
So you're saying there's a chance
Idontunderstandreddit
I know a couple this happened to. He wasn't as sterile as he was lead to believe.
LaAguaChocha
Or she cheated
Howtogrowwood
My dad now has a vas. And the doc took out a 1/8 of an inch portion i think plus carterized and knotted.
Showmeyourotters
I know a girl who "couldn't have kids" and just had her second. But.. tmk she kinda just misconstrued what her doctor actually said.
BerryTreat
My youngest sister made her way through surgical-stapled Fallopian tubes. Surgeon doesn't staple tubes anymore!
vipe650r
Yes. My mentor was told the same. They have 5 girls now (naturally).
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
"Shit...i should probably go check up on those hookers"
goombay
Led
WraithTDK
Or it's not his.
WraithTDK
Downvote all you want, I'm just saying, you look at the odds of a woman cheating compared to the odds of getting told you're sterile and...
WraithTDK
Getting a woman pregnant? Two words: paternity test.
lifeisadadjoke
Yep - my best friend has a daughter even though both he and his (now ex) wife had fertility issues.
Ascupart
My wife and I were given a 0.2% chance of conceiving naturally. Later went for a blood test and her hormones were up. One baby coming up!
wolfkin
that's what I thought was going on. I thought it was as heartwarming story about a guy finding out he WAS going to be a father for reals.
TK421isAFK
Happened to my mom and step-dad about 30 years ago. He was told he was sterile after taking shrapnel to the groin in Vietnam. Plot twist:1/2
TK421isAFK
Some shrapnel was never removed, and it caused swelling and iron leaching that affected his initial sperm counts. That's the VA for ya. 2/2
JupitersWitch
Often times when a man is considered sterile, they have low sperm count which decreases the likelihood of pregnancy.
ramshead91
I was told I was sterile but know statistics I asked how sterile. I'm like 1000th less likely than normal but it only takes one.
Jason0625
Just means you got more work to do
SweetZombiJesus
It would be all downhill for that kid before he even exits the womb. He will never be a winner as big as that one sperm.
beoluves
Actually it takes a lot of them, but you get the idea.
aetherwalker
For the curious: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acrosome_reaction
HappyJello
That just means you'll need 1000 times the sex when trying to make a baby
PhiIIipJFry
I think you mean 1000 times less likely or 1000th of the chance, not 1000th less likely that's basically the same
ramshead91
I .ent 1/ 1000th I was tired as I was laying in bed heading to sleep
Hoffdawg
Everybody gets one, tell em Peter
ThePoorWarrior
You never know. My sister was told she would never conceive and she randomly had 2 kids. Didn't know she was pregnant til it kicked. Crazy.
WookieWookieWookie
I feel like that would be the freakiest feeling ever, and if you didn't know you were pregnant that would be terrifying.
SocietyOfSensation
"We'll just have to have a whole lot more sex for it to finally work" - Bummer.
inevermadeone
A 1000 times more.
Impressive44
Actually it won't work if you do it in the bummer.
Turbor4t
CrazyLizardLady86
I knew a guy who had his member split down the middle; he just had his 4th son last year. That was a fun surprise the first time!
Bloodtearer
Err.. she was fucking around.
Idontunderstandreddit
No, it was legitimately his child. It's not impossible; it's just improbable.
Steelflameblade
Yea, sterile is used more as a term of odds. It is rare to be truly 100% sterile, but the odds of a kid are slim enough to not be expected.
Idontunderstandreddit
Sometimes you are just doomed to procreate
DrSparken
Not that rare now with medical intervention to cause 100%, but certainly unusual by natural causes.
westwood8183
Nothing is 100%. Tubes can definitely heal, in both men and women. And IUDs aren't 100% either.
Steelflameblade
Even with a vasectomy, the tubes can heal. Even medical intervention isn't perfect.
Evern
Goes to show that even the tiniest odds still have a chance of coming true. My sister knows a guy, he had a one-night stand and used 1/2
Evern
a condom, while she was on the pill. 9 months later they have identical twin girls, proven to be his. Those odds were stupidly small.
WhiteRabbit86
Plot twist. It's the doctor's kid.
HarryPotterReferenceProbably
He touched it first so by the law of dibs...
Isexualiseeverything
Double twist: the doctor's the pregnant mother!
aarhusianer
As are they all https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/15/world/europe/dutch-fertility-doctor-swapped-donors-sperm-with-his-lawsuit-claims.html
CommanderStrax
That's when you get when you go to a fertility doctor who works out of his HOME
RocketRodster
That's a plausible twist
WhyEvenName
Yes, yes it is
ASDFFDSAASDFASDF
it's amazing, but sometimes two white people can have a black baby. recessive genes are amazing
ZOMGNO
I don't know if you're being funny, or being serious... but wasn't 'Throwing a black' a legit term for this ACTUALLY happening?
ASDFFDSAASDFASDF
you mean before bloodtests and/or in a time when the hospitals have the "it's not my problem to get involved" mandate?
ASDFFDSAASDFASDF
(like how they're not allowed to warn a spouse about aids)
prfesser
A colleague of mine was furious with his wife. He'd had a vasectomy and she got pregnant. Checked the sperm count; RECONNECTION!
12SecondSpidey
Happened to a cop in a town near me. Wife got pregnant after his surgery. He cussed her out, called her slut/whore/bitch, dragged her (1/2)
12SecondSpidey
Name through the mud, the whole shebang. 9 months later, paternity test proved the kid was his, and she promptly divorced his ass (2/2)
cthulhusbestfriend
Well I bet he felt like an ass after that
12SecondSpidey
Oh yeah. He apparently tried to apologize, but there was just no making up for what he did
SomethingInTheseHills
I know a couple that was told from the get go they would never have children and ended up with 3. All "one in a million" supposedly.
Gawaiin
One in a million... but it just might work.
archirat
That's a lot of sex. Congrats to them.
CelticmoonKate
Yup. My mom was told she would absolutely NEVER have a child. And... well I'm not a figment of her imagination.
ElbowDeepInMythicalCreatures
.
TrixiHobbitz
Same here, back when PCOS meant "Never gonna happen" She had 2 of us, 18 years apart.
cobjob
Maybe she wasn't the mother. It was the mail lady ;-)
SteveMND
It's entirely possible you're a figment of our imagination, tho... http://imgur.com/16kC0hh
forte10
Are you sure?
WookieWookieWookie
You might be. Are you sure your mom isn't schizophrenic and you are her imagination?
CelticmoonKate
well she died 7 years ago, so I would have poofed outta existence if she was.
Xanillum
Lies and slander. Stop pretending Martha!
The22ndDoctor
http://imgur.com/zh8IRBF
CelticmoonKate
xD Seriously though, my mom was told at 16 she could never have kids. Told Dad the same before they married. I was a huge shock, but loved.
ParaBellum96
Yep. My best friend shouldn't exist. His parents only found out after they had him and couldn't have another.
ThankGoodnessYourHerePrematureEjaculationMan
The question becomes does your best friend exist? Can other people see him too?
ShitBricks
underrated comment
ParaBellum96
It's Wednesday. I ain't tryina have an existential crisis rn
Silmarilcrown
And of the people who do see him, do others see those people too?
sharkkibble
This is actually more common than I thought it was. I have a few friends who had this happen, and they did a lot of research. I know with
sharkkibble
women it's a certain time limit of trying to be considered infertile (outside of obvious medical conditions), so that's complicated, and I
sharkkibble
know it's different with men.
LittleKnownOne
Statistically though... if you are a 'sterile' man and she's pregnant, it wasn't a miracle, she cheated as expected.
Shinotsa
As expected? Who hurt you?
ThankGoodnessYourHerePrematureEjaculationMan
You should still get a DNA test because if it is yours and you treat her like shit for something she didn't do then you are an asshole.
ukalliq
A lot of men don't realize that "low sperm count" does NOT equal sterile.
MikeAracter
I know a lesbian couple this happened to,DNA results concluded both parents were the father.
nameman
Sounds scientific.
Cortezdelanoche
That must have been a twisted Maury episode.
WraithTDK
...wha?
LightStriker
Sisters?
WraithTDK
Sisters...who were fathers?
ASDFFDSAASDFASDF
are they blue tailed mexican lizards?
DrKriegersClone
https://media3.giphy.com/media/IL1sMUfQVRNFC/giphy-facebook_s.jpg?t=1
Swedash
Seems legit
jadedashell