You asked for it...

We're all about customer service at this store. It's the only reason it's still around, honestly. The prices are jacked up, 99% of the items are terrible ideas, and why don't people just shop online?

BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THEY'RE DOING. HOLY SHIT YOU'RE HAVING A BABY THIS IS SCARY AND EXCITING! GET IN HERE! WE'LL HELP YOU THE FUCK OUT. YOU'RE GONNA WALK AROUND THIS STORE FOR 4 HOURS WITH A WEIRD LITTLE SCANNER THING IN YOUR HAND AND GET IN HEATED ARGUMENTS OVER WHAT COLOR IS BETTER WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER! WE'RE HERE TO HELP YOU WITH THIS NEW HUMAN YOU'RE BRINGING INTO THIS WORLD.

Fun fact: you can call the store to make sure, and you can also do "In-store pickup" where we shop around the store for your lazy ass, put all the items in a bag, and you pay online for it all. Then you get to wait twice as long as you would have just shopping, because someone has to be available and retrieve it from across the store.

Don't be pennygrabbing twat and argue this. It doesn't work at other stores. I can't tell you the number of times the cashiers have been swarmed and returned these items without checking. It just sucks for me later when I go to put it together for a discount as-is model and I'm suddenly covered in baby fluids.

Why do you think we owe you a coupon? It's a coupon. Not a reward for knowing we keep one back there for emergencies.

Why does this happen so often? Is there another popular store that does this that I don't know about? Quit being stingy. That's a damn car seat. That thing could outlive you in an accident, so you'd spend a pretty penny on a quality one.

Why do people assume what form anything will come in when we don't have the boxes on display? I get people upset they have to assemble a dresser, and people upset they can't fit it in their little sedans. It's always going to be as big as the biggest piece.
(Hint: if you ever have to pick up furniture and you've got a shitty tiny car, just "Test drive" a pickup truck from any dealership. It's cheaper than the 100 dollar delivery fee)

Seriously you're in charge of a human life now. Maybe you ought to read up on that a bit yeah?

(For those that don't know about tiny peoples, suffocation is the number 1 cause of infant deaths and if a baby rolls face first onto a pillow and can't roll back over, which they usually can't, they usually die)

This isn't "Makin Babies R Us"

This was the one time I couldn't keep it together. He was looking for a rectal thermometer lubricant, but failed to mention that beforehand. Got written up for laughing at that one, but it was worth it.

Walked away after that one. Couldn't have left that conversation with my job if I'd stayed.

Seriously though:

http://i.imgur.com/1bbfWs1.gif

EDIT (yeah i did that thing....) : So I totally missed the part where I meant to say that we DO sell the floor model and a discount when it's the last of it's item in the store. I thought I'd put that in the description, that's my bad.

Also, the baby pillow situation I should have clarified as customers literally looking for pillows to place in a crib for their babies to sleep on.
To those saying I'm not qualified to give baby advice, I assure you I am and you can take your skepticism over to the next confession bear.

This is an informative (intended to be humorous) rant post. It's not meant to simulate actual customer interaction. I have no idea why so many of you are so offended by this. Some of you are even arguing facts down in those comments.
Sorry for any confusion not really sorry because you guys are jerks.