danfandango
118313
1177
81
This one is OC. Rest stolen from litigation god.
Wlb and comp, please
Rejection is a fickle mistress
They are never cool
Waiting on comeuppance that never comes
Trustworthy
No one tells you grad plus loans are 8%
Swing for the fences. Always
Jon hamm is everywhere. So hot right now
Bounce. Hard
Ouch. That burns. Truss was a disaster though
This is the universal crappy software of law firms everywhere
Deflategate v. Inflategate
Who needs people, right?
Mixed in somehow. BEST LEO EVER
Happens too much
Everywhere but going nowhere
At your desk
Jesus hear my prayer
Needy so? Hours will always be there
Terry
I lived this briefly and didn't appreciate it enough
Lol
Feigning business development
None.
DietCokeIsMyDrugOfChoice
#23 same for their staff :(
Calicious
#22 I write policies for a Gov contract & this is me. I do only 45 mins of real work & my numbers are killer. Im hoping to milk it ALAP.
sirlokirichards
#12 ahahhahahahhahahahahahHhHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH. you must really be a lawyer, or IT for lawyers. First time I've seen this one.
danfandango
It's search functionality already sucks and they had the audacity to route ours through equally crappy outlook.
yerlerswerg
#23 this one hurt my soul so hard I went from sorrow back to laughter
AtsaMattaForMe
#2
JustMe4455
With all due respect (which is none)
thorinc
#9 I'm a Gen-Xer and my socialist views have *grown* as my income and taxes increased. I *want* my taxes to improve society!
Cucumberclouds
Same. Nice parks nice schools nice roads.
billiebitkiller
Yeah I keep hearing "you'll go more right as you get older" but every year it's ? "slide to the left.... Slide to the left" ?
AlwaysUpvotesRaul
In-house counsel here. They say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. But sometimes it is. My grass is pretty green.
tortfeasor
One of the happiest days of my life was leaving the old law firm. Becoming a solo represented a huge pay cut, but also freedom.
inthenameofthemooniwillspoonyou
I’m intrigued. I’d like to know more of this greenery
tortfeasor
Unless one is in-house at a cannabis company, I'm guessing the greens are mostly proverbial; or après work. Still better than a law firm.
xIntrusionx
Meanwhile I just finished my articling and got a raise to minimum wage. Hooray.
Voojagig
#1 That's why I like the term "With all due respect"
bourbonandbaddecisions
That’s why I end all my emails with respectfully right before the signature block.
cabalin
Feel free not to wear a pink T-shirt
WeMistbornsNeedNotMakeSense
#1 WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR!
tehvipah
#9 when I was in collegebfor ChemE, one of the seniors got their offer, calculated taxes and said "Is this when I become a Republican?"
ArcaneConjecture
Every US STEM degree gets some kind of taxpayer subsidy. It's pretty shitty to "pull up the ladder" once he's already got *his* degree.
thereitis101
Yes! A lawyer thread. Thanks for that and yeah, many ring true.
ph0enix911
i work legal IT, the iManage one hurt.
adrianontherocks
@op what does in house mean in this context
nanonerd
Working in the legal department of a company instead of working at a firm that a company has hired as their legal representation
icanhasimgur
Um bro, not knowing anything/aunt about legal/legark but this shins/ sounds sus/ suspicious
NicolasKevinMac
Do you need someone to call you a bondulance?
Wntrmt99
Was gonna leave a comment but this was so much better hahaha
danfandango
General counsel at a corp vs being a lawyer at a firm
ArcaneConjecture
But you lose the opportunity to make Partner! /s
danfandango
"Opportunity"
MTshanAnimal
This was perfect. Shared with everyone!
LoPhatJoe
So if applying for an in house role, does that mean the applicant currently works in the outhouse?
danfandango
Basically, yes
theinternetconfusesme
#7 me lying to myself about why a phd is a good idea.
Cucumberclouds
Are you paying for it or is it a bursary? For most phds I would try v hard not to self fund.
tomatoboy
I feel like quite a few of these are specific to disaffected middle to BigLaw™️ firm folks, but I’m amused on average.
danfandango
Thank you for thinking i am big law lol
RetrogradeLlama
Medical school is four years on top of undergrad. Close to $500K by the time you're done. Half at 8%.
thesourpatchkid
Let’s not forget a minimum of a three year residency to get any meaningful clinical job. Capitalization of interest for the win.
NickRivieraMD
did you think law school was different from that?
TheTaxDude
Some folks always gotta show they have it worse. I went through undergrad + law school on full rides and still graduated with $150k in debt
Ceistebi
I suddenly feel better bout my phd debt, cause it is nowhere near 500k
Tigersterne
Pharmacy School was about $120k for me, but I also made some questionable decisions.
belongsinamuseum
Yeah, but I don’t know any poor doctors.
TheJuiceLoosener
Once you buy a mansion, a Maserati, a Corvette, and go in w 3 others on a 12-pack apt complex, your wife's spending can really start to hurt
adverselypossessed
Exactly, when I graduated law-school avg. student loan debt was like $100K-$150K @ 8.7%, but most 1st yr associate pay was like $40-$60K.
Kim8them
Poor in quality or poor in dollars?
IWouldLikeToGetOffThisRideNowPlease
That's because you don't know any doctors who just got out of med school or residency. They would kill to have net zero worth
danfandango
As a lawyer, getting to zero net worth a few years ago felt like a huge achievement. Saving vigorously now that loans are paid
IWouldLikeToGetOffThisRideNowPlease
Good for you!!
AlwaysTheContrarian
I do personal injury so my life is sweet.
danfandango
My nemesis lol
Fordbot
You a boxer?
smax410
#5 who’s the bottom middle?
tomatoboy
I haven’t been able to figure it out, either. If you get an answer tag me.
Mechman13
Caroline Ellison
tomatoboy
Thank you!
miklethertrac
Caroline Ellison, the CEO of Alameda Research who oversaw crypto traders allegedly playing roulette with billions of FTX’s customer funds
3Davideo
#9 1) Oh god, the youngest Gen Z-ers are 25 this year. 2) They better fuckin' not let go of those socialist views 'cuz there are people >
3Davideo
> waaay richer than your average lawyer that are getting away with NOT paying their fair share. Lawyers are, at most, upper middle class.
Thecynicalspud
Yeah. I just started working in the court system. Ton of lawyers don't actually have as much money as the movies make it seem.
tomatoboy
Most lawyers nowadays actually make shockingly less than people think, it’s just that BigLaw still drives the average salaries up.
tomatoboy
I mean, it’s not chump change, but it’s typically 1/2 what people expect. Folks tend to think it’s more like doctor salaries, but…
tomatoboy
…MD/DOs and law have diverged quite a bit now.
Pandragun
#1 Same thing as when someone says "No offense, but..."
DigYourselfBaby
Not the same. 'Respectfully' does not give you licence to invalidate or insult; It shows consideration of where they're coming from.
Raventhief
Respectfully, and I mean no offense, but )&* you and your mother you _*&ing )*&, &*^ &*%^ your whole family and )&(# &*^ their pets too.
danfandango
I just did one of these and they dismissed their case. #respectfullyftw
dasAchteck
tomatoboy
#22 hey, I resent that. I sent nearly eight emails today.
CrimeBrulee
Overachiever, you're going to fuck it up for the rest of us.
shmerdaburrdaburr
So… how close is “nearly”?
CrimeBrulee
Drafts count for 75% in government.
tomatoboy
tomatoboy
Well, 90% in the office, 75% if teleworking.
tomatoboy
If you’re making me come in it better be important.
danfandango
I used to fake bill hours and would spend like three weeks "writing brief"
spacecowboyein
Lol I wouldn't admit that even on an anonymous website. Although it seems like an ethics violation almost everyone is guilty of...
tomatoboy
Yikes. I wouldn’t admit that out loud. That said, I wish I could spent three weeks working on the same thing. I count myself enormously…
tomatoboy
…lucky if I can work on the same case for a whole day. The dirty secret about government jobs that work 40 hours a week is they’re all…
tomatoboy
…massively understaffed now, so 3 people worth of work has to be done in those 40 hours nowadays or it just…piles up.
tomatoboy
Of course, in some offices, they do just let it pile up…hence the perception.
danfandango
Yes, it was just specific to the position i was in and we had to account for our time regardless of whether we had work.
tortfeasor
I would just add: Don't go to law school. Most of my classmates have quit practicing law in disgust. The few still in it aren't happy.
danfandango
I try to talk people out of it all the time and religiously direct them to that you want to be a lawyer cartoon from 10 yrs ago
tomatoboy
The one with the pink pill that makes him not care?
danfandango
https://youtu.be/nMvARy0lBLE
VernonTWalldrip
Don’t sweat it. I keep getting rejected from in-house gigs that I’m objectively overqualified for.
tortfeasor
Clients typically poach lawyers from their outside counsel to be in-house. Rarely do they actually hire someone who sends a resume.
tomatoboy
Bingo. They want somebody already decently familiar with their individual business, not just the field of law or realm of business.
tomatoboy
Which makes sense if their in-house staff is small or busy, because their ability to bring somebody up to speed is limited.
KimbeauxSlice
I'm a 1L... one loan is over 10%... I'm banking on this country not existing in a few years so I don't have to pay
AlwaysTheContrarian
Welcome to hell!
tortfeasor
My condolences. Quit now and do something more edifying with your life... Like having a nervous breakdown and becoming a ward of the state.
spacecowboyein
One of the best pieces of advice that my dad ever gave me was to just not worry about my law school loans. Once I stopped stressing over it,
spacecowboyein
I realized I could actually have a really high standard of living. I went on income based repayment and was paying like $200 a month.
spacecowboyein
I actually saved up enough to pay off my massive student loans but I used the money to buy a condo instead. 10 more years and it's forgiven.
tomatoboy
Now’s the time to decide if you really want to do it. That first 1L semester is the ditch out window, beyond that you’ll have invested too…
KimbeauxSlice
Lol I'm not quitting
tomatoboy
Oh no, I wasn’t suggesting you should.
tomatoboy
…much time and money. I won’t push you one way or the other, only you can decide that. From my own experience, I long wished I had…
tomatoboy
…ditched out, the weight of the loans early on before I had a job and early in my career really soured me on the profession. But after…
tomatoboy
…the third year or so in practice I was making enough money the loans were really just a weight forcing me to stay a lawyer, they weren’t…
tomatoboy
…cutting my standard of living down that much even on a government salary. By the fifth year or so I started to be happy with my…