TheDoodlerDude
142441
3841
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FP Edit: Thanks for FP. Send wonder bags please, I guess.
anju711
I forgot the word fish and told my husband were having sea meat.
DrSchlepenstein
Where are my food weapons? I mean knife and fork.
thepatioheater
Telling housemate I brought us a toaster but said the wrong word. I ran with it and said, "I got us a kettle... But for bread."
pickinganameistoomuchpressure
I used to be embarrassed my dad couldn't speak english well, now I appreciate that he is fluent in 3 other languages & english is his 4th
IcePie
A friend forgot the word turkey and just said big Christmas chicken instead
littlefurrycannibals
Was trying to explain my dog's fear aggression and couldn't remember the word "hackles" so I said, "It's normal for him to go hedgehog".
BlueDsc
I'm calling Skunks "Fart Squirrels" from now on.
guardingtheinfiniteabyss
My daughter couldn't remember avocado, so it's known as a guacamole plant in our house now. Also, rain is now sky water.
SithElephant
#1 Milenisnails.
AlexanderElcazorro
Bi-lingual D&D characters. Can you pass the... urgh, what do you call it? The [Infernal screeching]. Other character: You mean the salt?
DukeDarkwood
*captainamerica.reference*
opentangent
That's not a sea pancake, that's a water flapjack
Fnogg
What's served at a diner that's under the sea? (Ocean Flapjack) Golden and warm and delicious is he
dougsfriendskeeter
I forgot the word for Christmas stocking and called it a santa boot.
HonkeyKawng
A morning radio host where I live couldn't think of what to call a shark's lips, so she said "mouth lids."
none2clever
My kid couldn't conjure "PEZ dispenser" once, so he went with "tiny face food machine", and now I cant go back.
briskle
Please accept this upward vote.
MountNdoU
The vertical asennding doodad? Very not bad and internal fluid progressing apparatus introduced to friction.
gettingkrunked
I forgot the word couch, told my kids it was a long chair smh they won't let me live it down
madmathematicienne
My 2yo nephew saw Santa on a Coke can and went "*gasp* Christmas guy!!"
DukeDarkwood
In ten years, he'll see him at the mall, and say "Coca-cola guy!"
mtloech
This is my everyday train of thought. I think it's hereditary. My son asked for an "up-bath" when he was 4. He wanted a shower.
Ulthirm
Good choice kid. Baths are gross and get cold. Showers wash all the dirt away, stay hot, and can still be things like bubbly with just a
Ulthirm
bit of prep aforehand.
theonyxdragon
When my sister was very small, she couldn't remember what brocoli was, so she called it small green like tree things
HarmonyIsTemporary
kurgs
As a native English speaker, I once forgot the word recipe and called it “the cooking instructions.” Circumlocution is fun.
DukeDarkwood
We all get brain farts from time to time, and this is just one way of handling it.
TheDogEnd
cooking instructions is a perfectly valid way to refer to a recipe. I use it (or just 'follow the instructions') in my kitchen all the time
Bhockzer
I forgot the word microwave once in college, wasn’t drunk, hungover, or high, so I called it a nuclearator when talking to my roommate.
DukeDarkwood
I would have gone with nuke machine. In fact, I think I have, at least once.
Bhockzer
My roommate looked at me like I was insane and all I could say was, “Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about!”
ummDoYouNot
I forgot the word for funeral procession, and so I called it "a caravan of dead people"
wipethatfaceoffyourheadbitch
There’s usually only one dead person though. How about parade for the corpse?
ummDoYouNot
I know, it's all I could muster at the time though
amp99
#1 I tried to make my racing snail faster by removing its shell. If anything, it just made it more sluggish.
Wyattcon11
#1 I was going to suggest calling its shell phone, but they lost that too!
o0scottyboy0o
Also, the German word for slug does translate to snail without a home or naked snail.
squintish
Please show yourself out.
MistoKat
You so silly
ScourgeOfAges
Imalwaysready
xenocrisis0153
Japanese coworker didn't know the English word for "funeral home," so he called it the "dead people center."
psychologisttheologist
My two year old son called his stuffed dragon an airplane dinosaur and I think that is pretty impressive
psychologisttheologist
I should probably make clear that his dragon has wings
CandiedCorn
All dragons have wings. If it doesn't, it's a drake. If it has wings and 2 legs, it's a wyvern. If there's no wings or legs, it's a wyrm.
psychologisttheologist
I would quibble with that. Tolkien, arguably the creator of the fantasy genre, refers to Smaug as both dragon and wyrm. Since dragons are..
psychologisttheologist
Mythical creatures anyway, there's no taxonomic body with any authority over classification. Furthermore, while the various names may have..
psychologisttheologist
Different etymology and thus may have once been specific to different beasts, such differences have been blurred by time and (mis)usage...
UserNamesArentEasy
This is what it's like listening to people name Pokemon.
keyblader1985
Hamilton
WhyDontYouMakeMe
Naming pokemon is easy, all they ever seem to do is incessantly shout their own names
LtColThorin
Everyone knows that's Big Dick Bee.
CoffeeDaemon
Big dick enerbee
DisplacedAnger
Fucking gold comment. +1
Sina117
“Bees don’t even have dicks, it’s a stinger!!”
Gnoll
Pokemon GO won't let you name your Beedrill either Big Dick Bee OR B!g Dick Bee. It's sad, really. Lt. Dangle worked out just as well though
BuickRiviera
New boot goofin
Youhavinagiraffe
Raycake/ Panca Ray is a great idea for a new pokemon. Not sure what type it could be though
sunyudai
Water|Fire?
DocBenny
Calling bullshit on #11 tho, the italian word for pony is pony
Frostbreaker1
That only works if the Italian guy knows the English word for pony is pony. I had no idea and would struggle to describe a pony in Italian
xVVitch
Idk. I only speak English and forget common words all the time. I can't imagine speaking more than one.
DigiT00l
I have witnessed my mother not understand the French word for Supermarket just because she assumed it wouldn't be similar to other languages
DigiT00l
So it is pretty understandable, probably he was thinking "what was the word again, probably not the same as Italian", I mean same as most
DigiT00l
Other listed in the post
PinkyTheUnicorn2
I call bullshit on most of these. The majority are too clever by half.
AbiQuinn
I often ask my foreign friends to say it in their language and sometimes I can respond with, Yeh same word in English but pronounced like x
vezlys
A bunch of those people seem fluent in English and just had a brain fart. Maybe he forgot the word in Italian? Also, 'pony' is derived from>
vezlys
a French word and if I'm not mistaken, is used in a number of languages (German, Dutch, Spanish, Russian, to name a few)./
EmanNiemThcin
You're not wrong but also not fully correct, it appears to be a bit older than that, compare https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epona
vezlys
I didn't know that; thanks!
piratejimthedagger
Wouldn't they need to know that the English word is also pony?
DocBenny
It's not a word from the italian language, it's not ¡hola! enough to be spanish, not honhon enough to be french, not EINZWEIPOLIZEI enough>
piratejimthedagger
I disagree.
DocBenny
how so?
DocBenny
to be german, not СУКА бЛЯТЬ enough to be slav, not chingchong enough to be asian, not yallayalla enough to be arabic, so chances are it's >
DocBenny
english. We'd call it a pony.
DigiT00l
Except it is French
chucklemore
I was adult years old when I found out that a pony isn't a baby horse.
pwyx
It isn't?
Ulthirm
no but people outside of the horse world will probably call baby horses as "ponies" and children might describe them as such.
vezlys
No, they're just short - like.. dwarves. Baby horses are called foals. Young males are called colts and young females, fillies. Adult>
vezlys
females are mares, adult males, stallions, but if they're castrated, they're called geldings./
Pickycris
English is not my first language. I really feel this post, and some of these things have happened to me at some point. ?
BaklavaMatatas
I speak 5 languages and I seem to always remember words in the wrong language when talking
debthepleb
Yeah... What's that word?... When two things are copies... gleich? Ek jaise? Même? اسی طرح? Ummm... Fuck it, you know what I mean.
BaklavaMatatas
By the choice of languages ... are you Belgian?
debthepleb
No I'm not :D Germany
BaklavaMatatas
Auch gut ?♀️
tzxAzrael
english is my only language, and i've done this too. *shrugs* time for Brain 2.0...
Ruthniss
English is my first language and...same
keithrayres195624
Despite 3 O levels in foreign langs, I've never used any of them. To confer with a Pole, I once had Ghanaian translate into Italian for her
FormerlySable
I teach ESL. I love the substitute words that students come up with because they can be so accurate. I’ve been there myself. I didn’t (1)
wipethatfaceoffyourheadbitch
Born in Canada and ESL anyway. I STILL have these brain farts. The worst was coming back from mat leave after hanging out with family all yr
FormerlySable
2) know how to say, “Guernsey cow,” in German, so I told my friend that I meant “a naked cow.” As opposed to a black-&-white Holstein.
LifetimeCrisis
My forgotten words tend to turn into "fuckin' ummmmm...... *snap snap*..... yeah you know what I mean"
Herfacewhen
This!!! Every damn day!!!
PinkProzac
Mine are all “hooties” for some reason. Forgotten people names are “Do-flitchet”. ...You know, the hootie, that Do-flitchet always uses!
MyRespectableAlterEgo
my go-to is "y'know... the fucksitcalled..."
MightyMouseTech
The “thingy”, you know, the “thingy” - My wife.
Dudeitsausername
And then at about midnight the word pops into your head.
Hurro
Right? I can't even remember words to word with let alone words to alternatively describe words.
rubypilgrim
a friend of mine's dad is a Pulitzer prize winner, and he still says stuff like "Get me the thing! No not that thing, the goddam thing!"
rubypilgrim
also - when his socks sagged and bunched up and twisted around on his feet: "Gah! My socks are turning on me!"
latinomartino
My mom “who’s that guy in that movie?” And somehow it’s always a different guy and somehow I know who she’s thinking of.
WhyDontYouMakeMe
I just start describing the thing until the other person guesses it. We have a fun game of Password while my brain falls apart
thegirlwithoutafairy
My pride and joy: I can never remember "collateral damage" and always sub it out for "unfortunate casualties"
justherefortheconfession
Much more accurate
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
Civilian deaths?
TheDogEnd
Bystander Whoopsies
ElbowDeepInAPoliceState
"People who should've been standing somewhere else if they didn't want to die". I know it's a bit wordy, but I think it's accurate.
ChetTheRocketStedman
This is missing “I do not like cobra chicken”
rchldyl
the best one!
ChetTheRocketStedman
Fuckweasel
Thank you.
xmaneds
you know technically he never forgot -- no one had ever taught him that word in the first place
DukeDarkwood
The best kind of correct.
novemberdobby
and
JMassHysteria
I’ve never seen that one!
IWantToHugEveryCat
KaraokeLemur
And the water zoo.
GreatestEverAlive
Whats that
DoYouHaveYourTowel
An aquarium
Tjitso
Aquarium?
KaraokeLemur
Indeed.