Fast food work stories today?

So I grew up in a town 3 hours away from Sydney, Australia, and had just moved down to Sydney. First thing I needed was work, so I did it how we did it back in 2006. I walked into stores with resumes.

I walk into KFC on what I guess was a slow day, because the store looked pristine and the staff were sitting around, just waiting for something to do.

One pregnant staff member sees the papers in my hand and straight up asks how old I am and if I want full time work. It turns out she's been trying to sort maternity leave for a few weeks but no one was qualified to take over her hours.

She yells for the manager, who comes out rather grumpy looking. I'd soon learn that was his default face, he was the greatest tiny ball of Irish rage I've ever known.

'Hire this guy. Now.'
'Oi, settle down. You after a job mate?'

We walk out the front and have a smoke in the outdoor eating area. A few minutes later he grabbed me a uniform and told me he'd call me with my first shift.

My first shift is only a couple days later, but when I get there the store is boarded up! Turns out they were completely remodeling the foyer, but drive thru was still open because Captain Irish didn't wanna lose all turnover. Literally on my second shift I dropped the seasoning shaker (these big ass salt shakers) into the deep fryer. Yeah.

So I get to training. I mess with my new team a little bit, pretending I can't remember how to do basic things so they 'show me' (read: do it for me) again until they catch on. With no foyer it was cruisy as fuck but I didn't get to wear the headset for like a week.

Side note, KFC has a REALLY well laid out POS, at least in Australia. Everything is organised and categorised perfectly, with some things appearing twice in different sections to make sure you can really get orders down efficiently.

So the store finally closes down for renos, and I'm sent to the nearest store for a while. A couple of other staff come with, including prego, and a couple of others go to the second nearest store. Basically everyone who wanted to keep working while the store was down got to.

This store was amazing! So much fun and never dull.

This is where I found out Captain Irish was WAY too hands on. All the things he only lets his management staff do, are delegated to the redshirts here. I learn to make the potato, learn how to throw out the potato after you drop your keys into it, find the stash of toys for the kids meals, lots of fun.

If you ever need one more toy to finish the set, and we're out of stock, it's because one of the staff took 20 home for his family.

FINALLY I GET TO WORK COUNTER! Cooking was fun and all, and drive thru was great, but I wanted to get into some people!

It was a lot of fun, too. I mean there were always assholes but it only takes a few days for your confidence to get up there and suddenly you're a boss behind that counter.

This was about the same time I discovered 'The Smell'.
KFC is so often dirty work, even just walking on the floors during the day can send you home with the tread of your shoes CAKED with black shit. We would clean properly and everything, but by the end of the next day it was caked.

Well, the same is true of the air. If you go home from a shift and sit on a couch, that couch smells like the back of KFC for WEEKS. Ended up showering and washing my uniform before I even turned on the lights when I got home.

So, these stories aren't proving as funny as I thought, but I'm really proud of this. I got to be known as an entertainer within a few weeks. Parents would bring their kids in and the kids would ask me to juggle coleslaw. I'd give out free upsizes to anyone who could say 'Toasty twisty toasted twister' faster than me. I'd dance around, flip stuff, it was a blast. The managers kept blasting me for it, but they didn't have the power to fire me anyway as I was still Captain Irish's staff so I'd just start again when they walked off.

I was a bit of a dick but it was fun and the customers loved it.

Then the compliments from HO start coming in. People are calling up and saying how much they love the store. There are families driving past 2 other KFCs to come and see me. I'm blowing my own horn here but I was so fucking proud of this, and it was true of my entire time with the company. Customers loved me and I loved customers.

This was when they decided to start my management training. I was still only about 5 weeks into the job at this point, but the training was minimum 6 months anyway so it wasn't exactly too rushed.

Had the day off and decided to head back home and see the family. Boring day, really. I mean it was around christmas time so we exchanged some gifts and stuff but it wasn't the same as when I lived there. Idk.

Then I get a call from the boss, prego wanted to head home a few hours early as she wasn't feeling too well. No one else could cover and she was willing to wait until I could get back.

Now, kids, never speed. Always drive responsibly.

I made that 3 hour drive in 45 minutes thanks to a Ford XR6 that basically raced me the whole way to Sydney, at least until his exit. And let me tell you, I was really glad I got there quickly.

If you wanted this to stay silly, kind of off topic, and a little bit boasty, this is the point to stop reading.

Prego heads home, which I'm most thankful for because she was about ready to pop and she didn't need to see this.

It's a rather busy night, but at this stage I've gotten pretty good at remembering people's orders, to the point where I could start on a regular's order before they said it.

This guy wasn't a regular, but I'll never, ever forget his face. His name was Joseph, and he ordered a 2 piece feed with no drumsticks.

About 20 minutes later I hear a fight out the front. I let the managers know about it and kept serving, we were crazy busy. But I couldn't keep my eyes off the fight.

I saw Joseph and this other guy yelling and then I saw the other guy storm off. Thought everything was cool.

He had only left to go to his car, and he came back with a knife. The next thing I know I'm out the front next to Joseph trying to calm him and get an ambulance sorted. I can SEE bits of his organs sticking out through the knife holes. The manager had to scream at me to get me to go close up shop.

At this stage he was still alive but barely conscious, trying to breathe, blood pooling around him. Right in front of the front door.

PEOPLE START STEPPING OVER HIM TO COME ORDER THEIR FUCKING CHICKEN.

THEY GET PISSED WHEN I CLOSE THE STORE.

It was... it was a heavy night. After it calmed down, the staff were all sitting out back in the outdoor fenced off garbage area. I liberated us some ice cream cake. It was quiet until we started telling jokes.

As i was the only staff who saw the actual stabbing occur, I was brought to the station for questions and statements.

I ended up sitting next to Joseph's mate, who tells me what happened. Joseph had been drinking, and was still hungry after his feed and wanted a burger. So he asked this guy for a dollar. That's when the fight started.

I know this whole post was basically one story, sorry about that. The better posts like this I've seen have been different events and stories, but other than Joseph most of that started happening once my store reopens. I'll probably make more later, if this is received well.

FP EDIT: @Okebel from the Imgur Revenue Service has informed me I have failed to pay my taxes. To avoid consequences, I have included said tax here http://i.imgur.com/iK7koHo.jpg

It seems there's a lot of interest in a part 2, so I'll get on that tonight. Thank you all for enjoying my stories! I'm supposed to ask for something, right? Just send me your coolest LEGO creations, or your kid's coolest LEGO creations.