Stolen Military greentexts sprinkled with stolen military memes

Aug 16, 2018 2:55 PM

Novastrike13

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122229

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Definitely a couple I haven't read before

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I usually don't believe greentexts but I have known a few drill instructors and can guarantee that #8 is completely true.

7 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

These are some good creepypasta

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was reading these while on the bus stop surrounded by complete strangers, i had to stop at 5, i couldnt finish it, anymore and id bust out

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

laughting in the middle of all those strangers. Honestly i was in a bad situation since i read "decepticon killer" should have stopped there

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The one about purposefully letting the CO die angers me. Idc how much someone is a dick, they are still in the same shit you are.

7 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

wheres the rest of the eod tech story?

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Full one for ya

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I was halfway through lunch when I got to “blood cork”

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Old post and idc.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Love the freaky stories, got any more of those?

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Thank you sir. Or ma’am. Had a very good time reading them

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

:D

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

So i just spent reading all this shit for like 3 hours, and i must say this is some damn good shit! I don't regret reading!

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Let #5 be a reminder to anyone that ever eats an MRE. Always chew the gum that comes with it. The gums contains a mild laxative. It helps.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

my reaction as a cleaner: cute. Also have to clean up MRE shite regularly since military town... used to it

7 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Green Text Dumps, or; Fuck you if you're trying to read this on a phone. Also pretty much every /k/ military story is fake as fuck.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

TIL MREs give you dark matter and possibly radioactive poops.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

nice

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I need more military spoopy stories. Is there anywhere with them? A subreddit or sommin

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I fucking love greentexts SO MUCH.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

The horror ones are clearly just fantasy but the dumbass soldier ones are 5050. You dont know what real stupid is until you join the army.

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Anyone else feel like #29 and #33 could be related?

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Full Sgt. Dickhead

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Shit, I wanted revenge, not feels.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The bomb disposal guys one missing a page? The one with Sgt Dickhead.

7 years ago | Likes 58 Dislikes 0

dot

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Yea was left on a cliff hanger .

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Damn.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

FUCK

7 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I was not expecting that

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Dang.

7 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Favorited

7 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Favorited to come back and not try to read this shit on mobile.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

:D

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

never seen a greentext dump last more than a day or so before being nuked

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Second one in a row! :D first one I guess was greentext Jesus as it was the only one to be nuked.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#30 Best one of the bunch, shame of the quality.

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Anyone ever see a follow-up to that?

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I wonder if it had a happy ending?

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Had these saved on my phone for a while now

7 years ago | Likes 35 Dislikes 0

Wish you had the full story for some of these

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

https://i.redd.it/y6rjl3ly4jy01.png Have one of my personal favorites.

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

best 25 mins of my week

7 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You read fast.

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

The BOULDER, here. Best 24 min of the week (reads faster than that 25 guy).

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Holy shit I thought you were dead

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That's an StGw 44, not an MP44

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

Both terms were used to describe the same weapon

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The weapon had different names, originally the Mkzb-42, then was secretly continued against hitlers wishes and disguised by the name (1/2)

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Of the Mp-43 in 1943. The weapon in 1944 was sredesigned into the Mp-44. When hitler finally gave it the green light it was renamed to (2/3)

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

StG-44. So it had many names in its time. Also, why the fuck do I know this (3/3)

7 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Becuz u iz nazi now. That german bike wheel one had me dying though.

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

god all the stories about the army and the goatman

7 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

I feel like the DI's are camp counselors making up ghost stories for the kiddies around the campfire, complete with guy in a mask at the end

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

i thought my dad was joking about his encounter with it

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Ft. Los in the Woods is boring af unless you're a nerd like me so they make this shit up to entertain themselves.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

well my dad thought it was one of the more funny DS joking with them until they radio him

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It's all part of the fun. Until you've spent significant time in a very rural place full of impressionable young men ya might not understand

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

i think he knew this wasn't some snipe hunting antics by the way his DS wad acting

7 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

So Afghanistan is haunted... now I just want more horror stories like that in my life

7 years ago | Likes 71 Dislikes 3

Which story is about something haunted

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Everywhere is haunted in one way or another. Some real, some fake, some just to scare the tourists.

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

had a co-worker who was in Afghanistan come back who swears he saw a demon

7 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

I bet the Afghani rednecks get tired of Imperial soldiers running around their shit over the millennia and dress up goofily to scare them.

7 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

The graveyard of empires. It’s really eerie in those mountains at night... more so than any other place I’ve been.

7 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

Never felt a place so empty there was no emotion there unless you made it yourself

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

It’s a haunting place. Watching lightning storms reach out over the sky in the Hindu Kush... just a strange timeless place.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Haven't made it to that part of the sandbox yet.

7 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

It’s a trip, man.

7 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

When my buddy got back from Afghanistan he told me he'd see a little girl with fucked up black eyes watching him at the most random 1/2

7 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

times like on guard duty or in doorways as he'd walk past places, he only saw her once when he came home and she looked even more 2/3

7 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

terrifying because her face looked more fucked up like it was decayed. Still don't know if its PTSD or if he really saw something but 3/4

7 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

the terror in the way he said it really seemed legit

7 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Are you in for a ride? Infantry vet here. 1 month before deployment in 2006. Get hammered in country capital. The big "goodbye-binge".. 1/X

7 years ago | Likes 26 Dislikes 1

oh man im excited for this

7 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Just finished it. It's long.. Sorry - no sorry! Enjoy the ride! See you at the end!

7 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Platoon eating at chinese place. Owner made the mistake of offering all you can drink beer. We dry the place up. 2/X

7 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

Find out the offer includes wine. Drink all the wine he had too. I see a Jack D on the shelf in the bar. Open but hardly touched. 3/X

7 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 1

Bourbon was my late teens poison. I must have it. Ask the owner for price. He's angry as fuck since we drank everything else. 4/X

7 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

Demands full price even though it's open. 800 DKK (around 120 USD). He's not into haggling. Careface! I'm 20 years old and a private! 5/X

7 years ago | Likes 21 Dislikes 1

I got all the money in the world! Pay him - leave a small tip just to piss him off. Offer swigs of the bourbon to rest of platoon. 6/X

7 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 1