Humans Are Space Orcs

May 22, 2021 9:24 PM

BingoBoomps

Views

122240

Likes

3671

Dislikes

71

@MotherOfOctopi i hope this is the one you were specifically looking for. for anyone else who found this, dying in usersub, i hope it made you as happy as it makes me.

Edit - Hooray Most Viral Front Page thingy hooray. HFY/Humans are space orcs is great and brings me a lot of joy. now im thinking i should do a whole dump of all these ive aquired, but... like thats a lot of reading. then againb so was this. glad you peepsies enjoyed it.

Can you imagine if humanity was what was written here? I hope, so bad, that aliens pick us up someday.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I've read this so many times here and I always seem to be cutting onions when I do

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

WAAAAAAGGHHH!!!!

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Good fiction. Always thought it would be later generations that found out if what it glamorizes will actually end us.

4 years ago | Likes 97 Dislikes 4

Beautifully written. Love it.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I’d watch that movie :)

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

That was fucking incredible

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

They're made of meat! What about their brains? Meat. Thinking meat?

4 years ago | Likes 47 Dislikes 1

Singing meat.

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 0

Yodeling meat

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

I’d watch the film adaptation

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

That's some good stuff

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Seems like something a human would write

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

I've been looking for this for a long time, and was hoping I'd see it again after the aliens learning idiot proofing post. Thank you!

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

In the Ringworld series, humans' special attribute is literally luck. There's literally a lottery to be allowed to reproduce and it's...

4 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

...selectively breeding for luck.

4 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 0

Yes, but what is lucky may not be what you want to happen

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

This. It means you're always rolling either a nat 20 or a nat 1. Nothing in between!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

The only thing which would make this better, is them dropping down hundreds of bounties, all at once, and just beggering the UNC.

4 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Yay, HFY on the front page! Got to love it when the subreddit you obsess over gets wider attention.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

They sound like heroes more than space orcs

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

@KarouLilliedamn right it is! I would give you all my points if I could!

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"The humans, I think, knew that they were doomed. But where another race would surrender to despair, the humans fought back with greater >

4 years ago | Likes 179 Dislikes 1

strength. They made the Minbari fight for every inch of space. In my life, I have never seen anything like it: They would weep, they would >

4 years ago | Likes 141 Dislikes 0

pray, they would say goodbye to their loved ones, and then throw themselves without fear or hesitation at the very face of death itself, >

4 years ago | Likes 140 Dislikes 0

never surrendering. No one who saw them fighting against the inevitable could help but be moved to tears by their courage. Their stubborn >

4 years ago | Likes 139 Dislikes 0

nobility. When they ran out of ships, they used guns, when they ran out guns they used knives and sticks and bare hands. They were >

4 years ago | Likes 132 Dislikes 0

magnificent. I only hope that when it is my time, I may die with half as much dignity as I saw in their eyes in the end. >

4 years ago | Likes 126 Dislikes 0

And whoever likes such space war scenarios, read Ancillary Justice or To sleep in a sea of stars.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

This us one if my favorite HFY stories

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

This was really good...I was hoping this was an excerpt from a novel. Either way, goosebumps and adrenaline while reading it.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

30 years? Somebody read The Forever War...

4 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Forever War did not have FTL and the war lasted a few decades from the protagonist's point of view.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

4 years ago | Likes 23 Dislikes 2

I was gonna say I was halfway through, but after scrolling down I'm 1/4. So far this is the direct/contrast opposite of Star Trek. 1/? →

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I can't say how I feel about it because I'm part of humanity. It really reminds me about humanity in Mass Effect. That's all I'm gonna say.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Finish it and tell us what you think.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

https://imgur.com/us">adKurze">https://imgur.com/user/KonradKurze https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/ enjoy :)

4 years ago | Likes 165 Dislikes 5

.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

so sad when kondradkurze stopped posting

4 years ago | Likes 32 Dislikes 1

i wonder how many people he got to read HFY from his posts, cause thats definitely how i found that subreddit

4 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 1

.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

I was wondering why I was getting all these upvote notifications, enjoy the stories everyone.

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

we do. we do. i go back to read those posts from time to time. shame can only drop 1 upvote total and not 1 per visit

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Deathworlders.com...

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

forgot to mention it. thanks

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This specific one has always bugged me and rubbed me the wrong way. Down voting again.

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 5

understandable,its not one of the best ive found i was just posting it cus someone in another thread sounded like they were looking for it.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Agreed, the author may be passive like that, but we as a race are loud, prideful, greedy barbarians. We'd never have acted that way. Ever.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Agree, the idea that humanity as a whole would be so universally humble is... well, ironically *very* self-important.

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Plus humility is actually a counter-reproductive trait among humans. Part of what makes it so rare.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 4

I just love these kinds of stories. Look up HFY and jenkinsverse on reddit for more if you're into this.

4 years ago | Likes 514 Dislikes 5

Dot

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Jenkinsverse has kind of fallen off, imo

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Retreat, Hell! is kind of a fun one too with magic foxes and humans vs space elves.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Dot for space human stories

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Check out deathworlders.com. There's a new episode towards the end of each month...

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I was very into this

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

365tomorrows, humans the only race to endure time travel arrive at earth just in time to watch starts being blown up by themselves

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

In John Scalzi's Old Man's War books, humans are not the strongest or the smartest, but they are the tricksy-est.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Jenkins verse became a several hour read of more or less the same over and over. It's been recent they added an entirely new crew's POV 1/2

4 years ago | Likes 13 Dislikes 0

Iirc, it was a fair bit longer than an average novel years ago.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Yep. Hambone has a whole new site now. deathworlders dot com Be prepared to lose several weeks…

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

With a slightly different writing style to match but that was short lived for now. I don't know why the writer needs to describe the 2/3

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Physique of the HEAT, JETS or Yan/Daar over and over again each chapter. You're not picking up Jenkins verse by the most recent chapter, 3/4

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

You already know all those details about them. You just need...I guess "maintenance" details to see how they've changed. My biggest problem

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Yeah, I got bored of reading all about the Beefs over and over. Do something new!

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Here's my favorite: https://www.reddit.com/r/HFY/comments/3yi82b/oc_prey/

4 years ago | Likes 12 Dislikes 0

I just read that and all I have to say is thank you for that!

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

See, this is close to my thoughts on the matter. I believe that if we were discovered by intelligent extraterrestrial life, they would see

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

us as a plague of biblical proportions, simple and deadly. There are trace amounts of other hominid species in the human genome, but we

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Are the only hominids left on the planet. Every other hominid species began dying off within a few thousand years of human migration.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We’ve found groups of other hominids buried with bones marred by the kind of weapons we know our ancestors used. We fucked and killed

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Prey is definitely amazing. For a bit of fun check out billy bob space trucker

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

That was great. But now I'm bitter that they didn't finish it and it's been on hiatus for like two years.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#same

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Honestly, the Jenkinsverse bored me after a while.

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 3

Eh I have been following the Deathworlders for a bit and still find myself invested

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Same but I keep reading because I've spent...a lot of time on it and I wanna know the end. At this point it's more just curiousity.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I dislike this about sci fi. People only ever write humans interacting with aliens in one of two ways. They are the "lesser evolved,

4 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 17

Have you read billy bob space trucker? Rednecks in space. It's a little self masturbatory, but fun and humans aren't the best or worst

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Primitive beings" or they wank themselves off over how unique and special humans are. Your "You never met humanity" or "humanity are the

4 years ago | Likes 39 Dislikes 15

Only beings with true love to win the day" type bullshit. Its always, always, one of those two things. And it's boring.

4 years ago | Likes 34 Dislikes 16

You're boring

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I mean, it was written for r/HFY. Literally a sub for human-centric sci-fi.

4 years ago | Likes 29 Dislikes 0

Just because it's human centric, doesnt mean you can't be creative with it. If I have to hear another thing about fucking space orcs or one

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Of those "How aliens describe us" things were we act like having teeth makes us unique, scary and oh so special. I'm gonna kill someone.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The Left Hand of Darkness, good scifi that isn't that.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Read Andy Weir's new book The Hail Mary Project. I don't want to do any spoilers, but it breaks a lot of those paradigms

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

It can be, but this one was well written. Most come off like they were written by the Altmer from Elder Scrolls. This paints humanity (1

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

with a redemption arc, and I love it! People nowadays don't believe in redemption, and it makes me sad. (2

4 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

What sci-fi are you thinking of. Most well known series have humans as distinctly average. The point to sci-fi is to explore the relation>

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Of the apparent insignificance of a single person with technology and the greater universe.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

The "humans are mighty" subreddit r/HFY was created in opposition to the "humans are inferior" SF trope. But you are right, the bulk of SF 1

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

The two primary Sci Fi cannons are Star Trek and Star Wars, and neither does this.

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Star wars, we can't exactly call them humans. Star Trek, I've never seen it but I'm pretty sure it has other species calling humans

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Inferior and such, like Borgs, and the humans prevailing with the help of their smarts to expand their massive empire.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

You're allowed to not like things! Most things are liked by only a very very small percentage of people, and that's ok.

4 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

I just want to point out as an avid sci fi fan 2 things. 1) There are TONS of stories like that they just aren't popular and 2) we write 1/2

4 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 0

about interacting with more advanced species because if we want to interact with more "primitive" species they are all around us. 2/2

4 years ago | Likes 15 Dislikes 0

But thats the thing. They aren't primative, they are just different.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Then there's District 9: we're the primitive species with a total lack of empathy, and entirely unable to treat others with respect.

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Yet because the aliens are such a kind and nice species, we just push them around, and fight over how best to denigrate them.

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

A lot of "green men" stories back in early SF were jibes at our racism.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

It's not because the species was nice, it was because they didn't have the power to defend themselves.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Then write something new. I would be the first to read it! ^_^ Even if it is short and sweet, or not sweet. Maybe something about our

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

I am. I have. That's why I dislike this stuff.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

As said, I would love to read it. Is it posted anywhere?

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

society showing an alien race how to swim? Or taking their ships under what for the first time? Or the fun in competition?

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

There is a whole genre. It's called "science fiction." ;-)

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

What a crock of shit. I used to like this story, but after this last year it seems more likely half the humans would join the Brosc and

4 years ago | Likes 49 Dislikes 16

Remember that when serious shit goes down, stupid people die a lot.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 2

I've read a story where an Earth representative was sent to investigate the higher incidence of deaths in asteroid mining projects. The 1/

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

guy in charge explained that they WANT the stupid or careless people to winnow themselves out on solo missions, so that in a group mission 2

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

their mistakes wouldn't kill everyone on board. Being in space doesn't allow mistakes kind of thing. 3/3

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I went in reading assuming with your thinking but within 100 years we advanced so much so by this time i would believe this story

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

Hello fellow orc. Stay away from my tribe and hut.

4 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Oh Mellow out. Its a feel good story. Chill.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 3

Or a large country would be the one sterilizing planets. Or corporations

4 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

See the mouseover text for this comic https://xkcd.com/556/ And consider the numbers of humans mentiioned in the story.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

My personal favorite xkcd of all time.

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I like to think that if we get our shit together enough to become a spacefaring species, being the violent weirdos that suprise people fits

4 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

yeah r/HFY has quite a few of those. And a hearty portion of SF. "How could this species develop space flight while still be willing 1/

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

to have wars, possibly nuclear war?" Or one of my poignant favorites, when a human explained genocide, an appalled alien said softly, 2/

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

"why would you need a word for that?" 3/3

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

the humans in charge would cry, piss, and moan over every scrap they didn't get or given to some other species.

4 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 8

I hate the division as much as anyone, but that whole, “The enemy of my enemy is my friend,” thing has a big effect on human nature.

4 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

Nah, man. To humanities detriment, we mastered us vs them mentalities. An alien them would unify the vast majority us.

4 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 1

*cough* Americans, not humans *cough*

4 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 17

Please, whatever your country is has historically done the exact same.

4 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 1

He literally said over this last year, Can you think of a country that exemplifies that behaviour more in the last year?

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 2

Brazil, Venezuela...

4 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Israel, China, Russia, Saudi Arabia, India, or you know more than half the worlds population.

4 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 2