wolverineprostateexams
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So, my mom walked in on me and an old friend with benefits named Izzy. She wasn't even mad because my mom has wanted me to get together with this girl for years. Every girl I would bring home has been compared to Izzy at one point. My main argument for why we weren't going to get together is that neither one of us were interested in a relationship. Now, Izzy and I have been friends/neighbors for about 10 years. Our family's are pretty close. The relationship started about 5 years ago when neither of us had someone to kiss at midnight on New Years. It progressed to a casual relationship whenever we are both back home. A week ago we decided to hang out and watch a movie. We actually planned on watching a movie but things happened as they do. That's when my mom walked in. Izzy was on top of me with her back to the stairs so neither of us saw her coming downstairs. There was no pretending what we were doing. No "I was helping her straighten her back" or "we were just wrestling". My mom left before we could react. It was awkward, we still finished, and watched the rest of the movie. We walked upstairs and thankfully my parents had already gone to bed. The next morning my mom was trying to be casual about it but she was clearly very happy. I had to tell her the we weren't together and aren't planning to. That was more uncomfortable than getting caught in the first place. And why I am sharing this with you Imgur? Other than the facts that it is pretty funny, my mom and Izzy's mom are in a bookclub together tonight and I know they're going to talk about how to get us together all night. The two of us are going to have to hear about this for a while. And what did my dad say when he threw in his two cents? "You should have turned the volume down so you could hear her coming". Thanks, dad. Anyway have a great week Imgur.
CoreyKeys
Thats the girl youll marry
1mshadowbanned
Your Dad is speaking from experience
Chauxsitty
How old are y'all?
CthuluIsMyHomie
"should have turned the volume down so you could hear her coming": So, Izzy is kinda quiet in bed?
manifestcrackers
little hint, she is interested in a relationship. She doesnt want to ruin how things are if you aren't.
splinterh00d
Friends with benefits = marriage without arguments.
odysseus
Top bloke, your dad.
otebear
No, Izzy's on top. Keep up.
wolverineprostateexams
My dads great. I think he's know for a while. I can just imagine my mom telling him and my dad says "yeah since New Year's Eve 2012"
bigassballs1
I got news for you...y'all together.
IAmYourGod617
FuckYouLoyalists2k18
mellowdrama
Well, Izzy or isn't he?
Thesecretof
Your mom was just starstruck that she saw Izzy Stradlin
IraqiWalker
Deep reach, superbly played. 20/10
Snitchesgetstitchesbitches
This is the best comment anyone will make about anything ever.
MyRegularAcctIsntAnonymousEnough
move out of your mother's house
MrYourMouth
Does your door not lock?
ICanChangeMyNameLater
From the sound of it, they were in the living room.
OrangeRanger
Most likely a finished basement.
villified
My advice? Learn how to write proper fucking paragraphs.
Izaliz
This was awkward because my name is izzy and for a min I thought it might be my FWB But his mom screamed when she caught us
umikaloo
"That's when I realised she was a crustacean"
SugarSmack
You have a great friend your family loves who you also enjoy fucking. Yep, you should totally hold out for something better to come along.
zeroofshadow
not everything has to end in a relationship my dude, you can enjoy fucking your friend but not wish to date.
FajitaPrinceofAllMexicans
It's a mutual agreement, at least, if Izzy is being up front. I'm not saying I disagree with you, but she might not be into if @OP tries.
Opportunist
Ayep, that's gonna happen right along with waking up to find Randy Rhoads, Cliff Burton, David Bowie, Prince, and Alan Rickman still alive.
chlopopdontst0p
Benifts
rifleGun2ofReddit
beninpits
Flyndaran
I'll just assume OP has some form of learning disability. There were so many errors that didn't look like simple typos.
Wolfwent
and: "Our family's are pretty..." -families-. Yes...this drives me nuts, more or less.
AmbiguouslyPunny
"...then my dad proceeded to beat me with jumper cables"
Sprinx
Would have improved the story.
Gcap2014
Word.
MasterPrime
So during a period where you both don't want a commitment your relationship has been escalating. Maybe your mom called it.
RobBobertyYT
You like each other. You hang out together. You're sleeping together. How is this not dating?
zeroofshadow
you have a best friend, you like them a lot, but you feel nothing for them romantically: aka, the most common relationship there is.
SaintMaceToTheFace
Amen. They have chemistry. They are dating
Sprinx
"Walked in on...me" - it's not always "so-and-so and I."
MyMojoSoDope
Was gonna write the comment, but decided to find it. I'd rather you just use "...and me" improperly, than "...and I."
Zandrake
Maybe he's Jamaican. "My mom walked in on I having sex."
MyMojoSoDope
Was gonna write the comment, but decided to find it. I'd rather you just use "...and me" improperly, than "...and I."
ThorgalAegirsson
I don't get the idea of friends with benefits. How can you have sex end don't develop any feelings? I couldn't do anything like that.
coffeedog
1/2 Usually you know the person is not compatible with you but you are still interested in having sex with them. You night develop some
coffeedog
2/3 feelings but there is a freedom in knowing that there are no commitments or obligations. Relationships take a lot of energy, so it's
coffeedog
Cool to have a break from the stress and pressure while still having your physical needs met with a trusted friend.
Naureleclipse
watch it, my husband and i started as 'friends with benefits'
MarylandViking
The name "Izzy" conjures up images of a chick with dreads, wearing Birkenstock sandals. She's a barista, and has a BS in women's studies.
imaprettypinkprincessandyoureabitchsosuckitbitch
BA in Women's Studies
ScopesMouthwashTrial
She only eats bran cereals, but nothing name brand.
rudejohn
The only Izzy I knew was short for Isabelle.
vauhtihirmu
From Roswell, right? Why do I even remember that show?!
theloneponderer
But not wearing sandals on the job cause it's unsafe.
LetsTalkGameDesign
I saw dyed red hair, a nose ring in the left nostril, a band shirt and dreams of becoming a writer that she gave up on years ago.
GreenYawgmoth
I would think more a half-finished BS in philosophy, with bright blue hair and a "modeling" "career" that will take off any day now.
BeardyDorf
I once dated a girl who insisted that I call her izzy. Which considering her real name was nowhere near that was kind of an odd start.
SavageVariant
I dated two, and now I'm praying we aren't Eskimo Bros.
BeardyDorf
I didn't do anything with her except make out with her like it was our day jobs. Colorado and pretty sure she's a lesbian now.
SavageVariant
Probably okay then, CA here
666centsally
Can you get a BS in women's studies? Figured it would always be a BA
MarylandViking
It's all BS. Amiright???????? .*elbow*
AladdinTheMuffinMan
Bravo.
Gameking116
wolverineprostateexams
Well it's not her real name but that was an interesting idea
ImKimJongUnAndEverythingIsFine
I'm guessing short for Isabella which just sounds like the foxy daughter of an Italian monster who's always looking to get into trouble.
Warlordzeddicus
Italian monster. lmfao thanks for making my day!
ImKimJongUnAndEverythingIsFine
I meant to say mobster XD
Rystefn
Yeah, but it's better this way. So much better.
Warlordzeddicus
That's what made it so great :D
SickOfThisCessPool
Maybe you two should get together? You'd always have someone, it would satisfy your parents, and your relationship could be "open"
LookingForWorkInColorado
Ship it.
Ichose2
Found OP's mom
TheDauphin
I want to upvote you all the points I have, this was funnier than the post itself
MundaneFinality
You guys should totally take advice from imgurians who don't know either of you. We know way more about your own emotional health than you.
1creamybaby
Preach it brother!
RosegoldEverything
Being someone with pushy, controlling parents, the idea of dating someone to appease them concerns me, but it could work out well for them.
wolverineprostateexams
We've talked about it before. It might happen one day but I don't think it'll happen anytime soon
OCDCubsFan
I can tell someone is going to get feelings. Just go out with this girl.
apittsburghoriginal
Yes. If you both feel the same, keep the status quo until one is ready for a change in either direction. No need to rush anything.
SometimesSketchy
It's happening now buddy.
TheDrunkNinja
Drop the labels. You're 2 friends who're attracted to each other. Labels like BF/GF and FWB have conditions that might not apply to you guys
MrMeems
Something's telling me you're worried about the expectations your parents have (i.e. grandchildren).
philstuf
As someone in a similar relationship, I can tell you that sometimes it is BETTER to stay casual and not move on. You both seem to see that.
IncilliusAlvarius
Is there an update to this story?
IDontBelieveY0u
Don't fall for it OP, that's your moms account.
Jenova91
Well not if you keep posting things saying stuff like that it won't...
mroranges
"Not interested in a relationship" just means one of you isn't attracted enough to the other.
vauhtihirmu
Not too much, not romantically anyway. But I guess there's some sexual attraction if they like to hook up.
monol0g
Life can be to short for "maybe one day" but of course if you feel that way, more power to you!
SnarkyScience
I'm not so much for the argument of "satisfying your parents" but why not date your friend?
JessieJanson
if you get along well, it might be worth it. not every relationship has to be "love". If you can be best friends/lovers its better then a
JessieJanson
generic failed marriage where there is love then there isnt... and nothing left after.
JessieJanson
In fact, you may be overestimating the value "love" or the chance of finding it.
SaintMaceToTheFace
Love isn't a feeling it's an action. The butterflies will die along with the racing heart. But loving someone is something you do, not feel
JessieJanson
Yeah its complicated, Thats why i think he may be better off with her then wishes and dreams of something better that may or may not appear.
uitSCHOT
Serious question: how does that work? If its not happening now how can it happen later? Never had a relationship so I literally have no clue
DurendaI
Ouch.
initialdave
Sometimes it takes people a long time to realise that every other person available to them is, well, shit.
Paraiyan
You know when you want to see a movie but then decide to do it tomorrow? Kinda like that.
ChurchillsMug
Not a good time for it in one person's life. Sometimes things are too busy and hectic or just too much emotional stress.
wolverineprostateexams
We both have school and full time jobs that take most of our focus. Also we live in different cities at the moment. That's a big factor
Jufasa
That's kind of a shit reason tbh, I've been with my gf for over 8 years, us both being in college and working leads to the same kind of /1
Jufasa
Situation you describe, she lives 2 minutes away from me and I can go a week and a half without seeing her due to our schedules but /2
sourorphan2112
I banged a guy for 2 years before we tried a relationship. It lasted 1 week we were incompatible every way except sexually.
eroso
Did that break up end the sex relationship too?
sourorphan2112
Sorry i just signed in now, yes it did.
shedooooooooo
Had the same experience with my next door neighbor. Our families were BFFs and we were inseparable, but too much like siblings actually.
Sh3llShock3r
Except these two are already fucking XD
TheBridgeburners
even better...( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
seleri
I support the idea of dateing friends. Some day the passion of a new relationship will have burned down to a warm and steady glow of love /1
bigreagan
Maybe, but what if you and your friend have a falling out and now you aren't friends.
seleri
It depends on how you fight. Dont be a Dick just cuz youre angry...
seleri
and then it will be good to have a friend by your side. +you dont sound jealous, so sex adventures can be awesome. Fuck eachother and other.
KillerTofu615
For years I regretted not kissing my best friend at the time. She said she didn't want me to kiss her. 5 years later she says she regrets1/2
KillerTofu615
telling me that because she actually wanted me to but was nervous. But eventually I found my best friend and now wife.
SnarkyScience
I pretty much would only date my friends but that's super unpopular now and I find that weird.
vauhtihirmu
In Finland that's actually almost the only way people "date". We have no dating culture here, and people tend to just make friends with (1)
vauhtihirmu
friends of friends, notice an attractive person among them, spend some time alone with that person to see how it goes and end up together(2)
vauhtihirmu
Pretty casual, pretty nice, but ofc people can run into problems when their friends aren't making new friends anymore. (3/3)
BeerandCats
your dads advice was on point, remember for next time OP
phe0n1x
That would have been my father's advice too.
definitelyarealdoctor
My dad once gave me unsolicited advise for eatting ass... "strait out of the shower".
TooSadToCare
My dad's only advice... given pre wedding. "Marry a skinny one, they only get bigger."
metalfoto
+1. funny story :)
OneZebraInAHerdOfWildebeests
Or just do it in the bedroom... So zero chance of getting caught in public areas of the house
Fireguy97
Correct answer to Dad should have been, "We turned the volume up because we didn't wasn't you to hear Izzy Coming."
ProbablyDrunkAgain
Pops has been there, done that apparently.
Dicho83
Just turn on you masterbation ears when having sex with a partner. I swear I can hear family members in another state ... & I live in TX.
MysticBummer
Plus one for masturbation ears
SaintMaceToTheFace
Yep. Rookie mistake.
WErunSF
I'm not mad cuz you stole. I'm mad cuz u got caught
Durbs42
But the volume was up so the parents couldn't hear Izzy coming. Which is a problem that I've had.
BavarianGuy
The solution is named "lock". o_O
Durbs42
Unfortunately, that is not a luxury I am afforded. None of the doors in this house have locks.
BavarianGuy
http://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/fGwAAOSw7aBVGRzH/s-l300.jpg ?
TastelessBuildABear
Dad is experienced
socalwarrior
As a dad, I can say that I don't care if you're f*cking, but turn the volume down so I can sleep.
ThatShiftyMonkey
*hear
Acera
How could he not hear her coming? She's right on top of him.
AndreKroon
Honestly, I would have heard her coming even with the sound on like max, just that I probably would have been too into it to react...
garrnk
His dad just wanted to hear izzy cuming. He dislikes being left out
LSDontknowwhatsgoingon
Your dad is the kind of dad I aspire to be
wolverineprostateexams
Kyrorayne
Then mom would have heard her cumming
StarkeRealm
Not going to lie, in this context, that .gif is kinda creepy, and seriously hilarious.
RobertNAdams
For real, props to yo pops for the Grade A pro-tip. My dad isn't anywhere near as cool.
wolverineprostateexams
I get along really well with my dad. I'm pretty sure he knew what we were up to so that helped
craaaaaaaaaaaaig
I feel like its a catch 22 though. The volume from the TV helps cover up sounds you're making. But also conceals approaching sounds.
Hyippy
Wear headphones? That way the sex is easier for others to hear and you'll definitely not hear anyone approach.
craaaaaaaaaaaaig
guyintoga
I am adding g this to my collection
angryangrybird
you might like this gif: http://imgur.com/48sLfOM
guyintoga
Many thanks
angryangrybird
glad you liked it :)
StarkeRealm
I prefer that one to the file folder gag, honestly.
pugofstardock
Your dad seems to know how to fuck izzy without getting caught.
SometimesSketchy
Everyone keeps it casual with Izzy
Cupcakemonger
I just screamed with laughter at this comment. Because of the implication.
sumothername
PrincessWasabi
Either that or a helluva double entendre
CyborgScribe
It's still good advice.
OmgOptimized
That was my first reaction :P
Metals4J
I assumed he meant Izzy coming at first. My mind went straight to the gutter with no hesitation.
wolverineprostateexams
I just got that +1
Maaaaaaate
Go hi-five your dad. He's probably waiting for that pun to drop.
zamirovski
Why can't we have both
PrincessDonaldTrumpBANNED
My wife comes pretty Damn loud, I can usually hear her from the neighbors house
AluminumMuffin
*cums
thegarlicawakens
thegarlicawakens
thegarlicawakens
AluminumMuffin
*cums
AluminumMuffin
*cums
thegarlicawakens
thegarlicawakens
thegarlicawakens
vauhtihirmu
I like to think you intentionally posted the same reaction gif three times.
vauhtihirmu
Scratch that, six times: Just opened the bad comments.
thegarlicawakens
You know what? That's what happens when imgur tells you there was a problem. The result is far more entertaining.
EmotionallyMagnificient
You left out the part where Izzy asks you for tree fiddy and is a monster from the cretaceous period.
[deleted]
[deleted]
Halalaka
This deserves more points.
lezbehonestusername
I scrolled looking that exact part
SpecimenSpiff
Same, as per usual.
ramshackleackle
I gave her a dollar!
BBBBart
This is the best laugh I've had all week :-P
PrincessNakedMoleRat
For real this is why I can't take long stories seriously on here. I'm just waiting.
hispanicyankee
Nessie isn't a monster!
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
Thank you
hispanicyankee
I got you fam
thisisthefirstoneitried
and when she turns into your drunk uncle and beats your ass with jumper cables
Dontaskjeeves
Or with a cretaceous period.
PlasticGuitar69
Was expecting the end to reveal that OP and Izzy are dogs.
thisisthefirstoneitried
or a couple of goats
MyFavoriteThingtoDoisFlakeOnPlans
I was waiting for this
FriendlessJoeTheCrazyHobo
I expected it to end in weird song lyrics, like the "no black betty, ham or lamb" or whatever BS it was
wolverineprostateexams
Nope. I didn't get caught banging the Loch Ness monster. Again
buffles
but you almost definitely made this up. Including the ridiculous name
Terenagan
Santorrr
That would've been a whole different story
ModernDayBabaYaga
we've all banged an uggo at least once, a bunch of times
jo3s
If you give him money that's why he keeps coming back for more
aguynamedDeadpool
For the 5th time
virus64
This week.
Toan914
So the 5th out of 7th time? Why go for more times if you already have a perfect score?
virus64
Nimin
Again.
hispanicyankee
Don't you call Nessie a monster!
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
I have feelings you know
wolverineprostateexams
Why not? She likes it
hispanicyankee
Nonsense! All Nessie wants is to be loved! Also tree fiddy.
NotAMeatPopsicle
Then she hasn't accepted her inner Lady Gaga
damnuredsubaru
this... this is why I come to this site... that and the cat posts
ImmaNeedBoutTreeFiddy
Can confirm