Morning Wood

Sep 6, 2017 1:48 PM

Morning Wood.

As a furniture salesman... I just creamed my pants.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Wiggle wiggle wiggle!

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Very clever bit of craftsmanship... very nice... it might fit in my driveway... ;)

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

For a quiet family dinner or a full medieval banquet

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So it's a grow-er, not a show-er.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

His pull out game is strong.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 1

That actually gave me wood

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

and how do I get one of these? I live in a 5000 sq foot renovated barn, this is exactly what I want.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Find a joinery shop in your area, and pay big money for workmanship and materials. This is necessarily custom work because it's so big.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I could watch this all day.

8 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 2

What keeps the leaves from collapsing when you put a dish in the middle?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Awesome. Now I just to find 36 friends to share it with. I currently have...one, and she doubles as my wife. She gets two chairs for now.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Have you asked her to lose weight?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

source for purchase?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

OP, please post a link for this table!

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Morning wood? This is all-day wood. This is "the erection has lasted more than 4 hours, doc" wood. You will lose your penis to this table.

8 years ago | Likes 16 Dislikes 1

I want a girl with a short skirt and a looooooooooooooooooong table.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This will be perfect for my Great Hall.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

A grower AND a shower.

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

Neat! Another quality post by @AbortedFetusNecrophiliac

8 years ago | Likes 94 Dislikes 20

8 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 7

Yeah, but how much does it weigh? Good luck moving it.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Now fold the other end up! Do it!

8 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 1

Being rich...mbn

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Impressive table, now pull out the chairs...

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where can I buy this?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Where can I get one of these?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I need one of these for board game nights. o_O

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

One could almost fit all of Arkham Horror on a single surface!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Or Betrayal at House on the Hill!

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I like the cut of your jib.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

when Jesus calls and asks if he and all 12 apostles can be seated on one side of the table. I got you fam.

8 years ago | Likes 1160 Dislikes 5

The most legendary selfie

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

This made me laugh waaay to hard :D

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

We can't all do the big arms thing, we'll look like a squadron of spitfires ffs

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Ordering a table for 26, so you and your Bros all can sit on the same side!

8 years ago | Likes 94 Dislikes 0

Wouldn't it be 28 because end seats? I'm fun at parties

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

8 years ago | Likes 11 Dislikes 1

Calling all dudeist priests!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

v

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Eating on one side of a long skinny table was a custom for a long time. Servants can serve everyone at once from the empty side

8 years ago | Likes 48 Dislikes 1

This only was the case if you were sitting at the most prestigious table in the hall of a prominent noble, and y'know. Had servants. 1/2

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

For less exalted diners, the custom in most of Europe was for you to sit across from someone, sharing the same platter and cup. 2/2

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They wouldnt even have sat though. They would lay on their stomach

8 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 2

Still see that at weddings and the like

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Really? I thought it was just easier to picture. Like in movies and TV shows. They all sit on one side

8 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 0

This. Also it lets everyone get a good look at the important people at the head table

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

the question is who has room for a table that big?

8 years ago | Likes 115 Dislikes 2

People with mansions.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Restaurants

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Him. He does.

8 years ago | Likes 53 Dislikes 0

My family currently has two tables lashed together with zipties, but we only need all of it when everyone is home for holidays.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Also, just about anyone with a mid sized open concept house

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not you.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

you don't have to extend the table all the way, just for however many extra segments you need.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Who has time to make a table that big? I got bills and shit...

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 2

Large ass Catholic families

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I have a feeling it's

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What happened there

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Not sure, but maybe it was

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Need a room that folds out too

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

People who can afford a table that large and intricate.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

If all the wood was water proofed it would be an excellent table for outside. Especially in a place where there were many large-scale events

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

We have a dining room with an open Wall onto the study, this would be perfect for regular meals and extended for the holidays

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I do actually. My house had an extension put on at some point, and the dining room is ridiculously huge. Like 24' long.

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 0

table is beautiful, and wonderful craftsmanship, Its just to long for us casuals.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Dude, get a shuffleboard table. Put it against one wall. You can throw a board over it and use it as a buffet line table if hosting.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Lol. The kids would love it. Our living room and basement rec room are just as long though so one of them would be better. :)

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

you could become the place everybody wants to have parties at, or sports night with the guys

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

i've got a few rooms big enough for it, they are used for other things but i could make it fit, would be awesome at holidays

8 years ago | Likes 19 Dislikes 0

What 'other things'?

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

living room, family room, basement kids playroom, none of which need a huge ass table in the middle of them

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My apartment has a super long living room. This table would actually be perfect for holiday parties.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"a few rooms"

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

well, 3, technically 4 but i don't want to count my bedroom, and it wouldn't fit up the stairs anyways

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

My thoughts exactly! Much easier than 2or3 tables pushed together!

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

yep, when we have big holidays at my house the dining table becomes a buffet so we have 4 6 foot tables in different rooms plus 3 different>

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

kids tables, its chaos, i'd love to fit everyone at one big table

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

This table must be heavy as fuck.

8 years ago | Likes 516 Dislikes 2

which is ideal for a "stationary" work table, even the expandable ones.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Less so than if it was made out of solid wood.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Seats as many as it takes to carry it.

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

I used to work for a second hand store and moved furniture daily. This table is making me angsty.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Exactly two ducks, actually

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

What kind of ducks is it you know of?!

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

duck sized horses or horse sized ducks ?

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Fuck a duck .....

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Exactly what I was thinking (married dad who has to do all the moving and help family members because I'm apparently also the strongest).

8 years ago | Likes 115 Dislikes 3

Just pretend to be weak, they won't ask for help anymore.

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I learned being married, if you do something bad enough one time you'll never be allowed to do it agian.

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Not in the latino culture, you'd be shamed for not being a strong man.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Hi me, how are me?

8 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Are you not?

8 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 4

Heeey, he has a soul too

8 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

I think they might use it as an excuse to avoid hard work.

8 years ago | Likes 30 Dislikes 0

Is that a challenge?

8 years ago | Likes 10 Dislikes 1

I mean, if a table the original size was made of solid wood, would this be heavier?

8 years ago | Likes 51 Dislikes 1

Wood it be?

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Stop doing this!

8 years ago | Likes 14 Dislikes 1

Yes. That table is made of MDF. that stuff is wicked heavy

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Sure, then let's say the solid version is MDF.

8 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

No, greater complexity increases the electro-magnetic wave barrier which interferes with the weak force...dumbass

8 years ago | Likes 20 Dislikes 3

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Tables are never made with wood that thick.

8 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 11

You're an idiot.

8 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 1

Only a Sith speaks in absolutes

8 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0