withoutyourspacehelmetdave
125117
2783
79
Kitties tax
Aug 25, 2019 4:31 AM
withoutyourspacehelmetdave
125117
2783
79
Kitties tax
Munchman347
Drill out the old cork. Easy to strain out cork chunks...
tatt2br1an
O bloody hell! couldn't u just strain the pieces of cork rather than have super tiny pieces of glass in your drink?
cannonnls4
Kiwi ingenuity!!
breothskin
I saw this done with really old Bordeaux at EMP once. Awesome and slightly more professional than this ;)
t0mn8r
The suspense was killing me...
Skizmo
That's just plain fucking stupid. Why risk getting glass in there when you can simply remove the cork.
odesit85
Push the old corkscrew in and immediately pour it into glasses through gauze. There solved it.
Spidey209
Just smash it on the edge of the table. Same result and you look like a pirate if you say "AAARRRRGGGGHHHH - Hard to port laddie"
BrohantasaurusRex
Didn’t they just crack them open on the skulls of commies and Natzis and drink it, glass and all, back in the day?
gorillaClutch
wouldn't introducing all that heat be bad for the drink?
AzgarOgly
Heat is introduced higher than a level of a drink is. Glass is a very bad conductor of heat. Which is why it breaks, BTW.
PaulsonPieces
Bro you are like the king of spreading bullshit. Wine is topped off to the top. Glass is extremely good at holding heat. Google quartz
gottagetmoremilesintoday02
Why not push the cork into the bottle?
multibeasthillsdale
Yes, that’s neat, but can anyone show me how to open this bottle of 2018 Red Wine from Aldi?
kamigod
2 options. Either drink dried cork or shattered glass.
1slingshot
He should've just bought a fresher bottle. Duh /S
YouUselessTwat
CorgisButtsDriveMeNuts
OMG Dave and Bill. So young! :D
lloyd2287
It’s my beer!
marver
It'll get you drunk
Suuurge
NO I CANT STOP YELLING! HAVENT YOU SEEN MY MOVIES!?
BreakingRad
Bill burr?
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FlyingMonkeyButt
Bill Burr worked on the Chappelle Show
soAngryIFeelLikeSwearing
“And then his wife threw her titties in my hands... it was weird your honor”
TheGhostofCarrieFisher
Fact. He wrote some stuff and acted in Chapelle show.
Burntpubes
He was in the reverse sketch with tron getting off easy and white dude getting railed by system. Burr was a cop in the sketch
notsurewhoIam
Looks like a Kiwi no 8 fence wire solution to a drinking problem.
Zombieboobs459
I was looking for some proof thye were kiwi, dunno how I missed the shirt AND the fern behind them haha
CreedThoughtsDotDocX
I was wondering which version of English this was...
michealangleo
The best english
michealangleo
I kept getting confused because i couldnt place the accent!! But now i realize it was because they dont have one to me, they sound normal
thelittlejournothatcould
Same! Then I realised he had an NZ map on his shirt
michealangleo
Even that just seems too normal to notice
fennecbutt
It's a brand of beer called no.8 wire for anyone interested. They do lots of tasty stuff!
Rowee
No. 8 wire is fencing wire which has reached legend status in NZ for its versatility. It's been used for everything.
fennecbutt
Uhm, I'm a kiwi and that shirt is specifically for the brewery brand. https://8wired.co.nz/, the brand's name comes from the no 8 wire
fennecbutt
Thing but the shirt itself is for the brewery...
Trickymex
That bottle of port is around £7-£900. I would love to taste it
relentlessthedecay
Crackheadpirate
Tastes like broken glass.
MeniBothanzWasMyGrandFather
Like a true kiwi, he using number 8 wire, whilst wearing a number 8 wire t-shirt. Probably all black underpants too.
notsurewhoIam
Probably some Red Bands there somewhere too.
4everwild
How was it ?
baconeggcheesehashbrownburrito
Old
WooNeat
Porty
VBorBust
The portiest
BigOrkWaaagh
Sharp
GoldenPenisOfWisdom
No one lived to tell!
iKeepLosingBobbyPins
I want to know as well
Grimmrog
guess it tastes like Victory
SSlicer
Probably like the worst vinegar you've ever had
FurtiveGlancer
*how much was it?
truemdgeist1337
Glassy
phillipsnelson
to drunk to reply to you.
indianajones7805
What about the glass fragments that most certainly fell inside when the top broke off
barnwolf
Just a little abrasive cleaner for your gut.
ImgurPlz
Delicious glass shard seasonings.
scribetree
Makes the port spicy.
AzgarOgly
These all fall to the bottom and are left there when the wine is poured out. Together with a thick sediment they wanted to avoid first place
PaulsonPieces
Stop spreading bullshit that’s not how silica works.
DrejLord
This was a train wreck. Chill the bottle. Dip cotton string in acetone, wrap it around at desired cut, light it. Easypeazylemonsqueezy
torque99
Think he used that cock ring again after!? Lol
3timesaday1
And I thought my dick was skinny
NZboi
Classic Kiwis
phillipsnelson
sup bro
jpparkenbone
If you need what appears to be surgical equipment to consume your alcohol, it is not worth it
HoneyBadgersAreBadAsses
specially because if you drink that shit you will eat glass and need a surgeon
AzgarOgly
In some cases it might be totally worth it and even better.
Arklytte
You've obviously never tried 75 year old port. :)
ExistentialDreadlocks
Sounds nasty
Mithi
If "alcohol" is all you think of when you see a almost 75yo bottle of Port, you might not be worth it.
Shovi
Fancy alcohol is still alcohol.
OrkenMork
that seems overly complicated and a good way to swallow a chunk of glass!
edgeofadhesion
Normally it'll be a clean break, so it shouldn't be an issue at all.
knockknock
Filtering port through a coffee paper is perfectly reasonable. And swallowing a bit of glass isn't exactly a disaster.
PaulsonPieces
Glass doesn’t filter through your body it stays in there. Their is 0 reason to ever do this and drink the wine.
knockknock
Well that is clearly nonsense
PaulsonPieces
I know that’s why it has 19 downvotes. They see how dumb you sound.
Reelthreat
You have to strain port of that age through cheese cloth... it will get all the glass.
losboccacc
he did a terrible job of it, thermal shock should cut glass clean at ring, this was done badly https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcqVwMvGQtU
burpwind
I don't think that was thermal shock. He heated the ring to expand it then cooled it on the bottle. The ring shrunk and crushed the bottle.
losboccacc
the claim has a fucking source attached but ok
burpwind
Which shows a different fucking way of doing it. You seem to be one of those morons who think near enough is good enough.
cosonfused
good think humanity invented sieves
YouUselessTwat
Hence the decanter to make sure there's no glass in your glass.
Ineedapizza1
Decanting it doesn't inandof itself keep sediment (or glass) with correct pouring. Best to use cheesecloth too if you're worried about glass
PaulsonPieces
Yeah look up silica that’s not how any of this works.
YouUselessTwat
The lightest glass is still more than twice as dense as wine. Therefore, glass settles to the bottom. Just don't pour out the glass.
OrkenMork
because glass always breaks into large enough chunks to sink to the bottom of the bottle....
YouUselessTwat
That's how density works. Unless it's nanoscopic, air-filled, or no one disturbs the surface tension and it's tiny.
LucianKane
Time to Google 'Port Tongs'!
ramshackleackle
Looked like like like pliers to me.
ramshackleackle
Pike*
LordHopkins9211
Yea there are alot better ways of opening port of that vintage or older. That's just dumb.
AzgarOgly
Can you please enlighten us?
WhattaYaLookingFor
Like how? Enlighten us.
PaulNewmansGhost
Port tongs were made for this purpose?
WessexRanger
They were but no one really uses them these days
mycatsanarsehole
That looks like a really dumb way to open any bottle. Hope you like glass in your port.
LucianKane
Time to Google 'Port Tongs'!
hewari
Thats literally the textbook method of opening old port. Execution was a tad bit poor.
Arklytte
It's like people on Imgur have never heard of decanters. SMH
MDtheGM
I don't care how good your decanter is, I'd rather not have any particles or slivers of glass that can squeeze through that screen.
PilgrimScott
'Port Tong' is an actual item, apparently there has been a need for those back in the day http://www.wine-tastings-guide.com/port-tongs.html
mycatsanarsehole
Sure back in the day, but there are much better merhods today.
TwoCheese
That was a good read. Thank you.
PilgrimScott
De nada. I seriously considered buying those for my port-loving brother's big birthday present. But usually a corkscrew is just fine.
AzgarOgly
Well, that's a method used for ages by people who know much more of port than 99% of imgurians. I suspect they know better than you do too.
mycatsanarsehole
It may have been the best way to do it a long time ago but today its pretty shit.
AzgarOgly
And what exactly would you suggest and how it is better?
ididntwanttosignin93750
My friend is an idiot and doesn't understand why you wouldn't isn't just pull the bottle like any other bottle of wine. Tell him why!
nosyou
Your friend isn't an idiot, just didn't know. Learning is knowledge, and you're a bad friend.
MikeyCrabtree
My friend would also like to hear the answer to this.
ZeroZeta
I replied to the other comment with a three comment explanation.
Archaeologistinasuit
You can get openers that grip the old cork, but they are very expensive, these are much cheaper and a bit more flashy, source: waiter
LucianKane
Time to Google 'Port Tongs'!
AreYouMyGuppy
This works, but it isn’t smarter or better. It looks like a drastic solution to an improperly stored bottle.
ZeroZeta
The cork was too big to come out. It porous, so it absorbed some wine and expanded too much. Looks like it was farther down than it should1/
ZeroZeta
Have been too. Anyway, they were heating the glass, and trying to quick cool it to shock it into breaking. The normal method leaves a clean2
ZeroZeta
Break in the glass, but since they used a metal ring and got it stuck it wasn't as nice of a break. 3/3
Jaaybiird
Thank you!
ZeroZeta
Sorry, looked back at the video. The bottle neck was stupid, not the cork being too far in.
LuciusNeedful
They are idiots. If they were worried about the cork falling apart, they should have pushed it in, then poured it into a decanter. [1]
LuciusNeedful
When pouring, the cork floats allowing the port to flow out. Glass shards require filtration, which can involve excessive air exposure. [2]
PaulsonPieces
No filtration will get rid of the thousands of silica particles.
AzgarOgly
There is a thick deposit on a bottom they don't want to disturb. And given how old that old cork is, it most probably would get disturbed.
Zivethy
Disturbing the deposit is bad? Does one want to avoid drinking the deposit? Can it be filtered out?
AzgarOgly
It is bad, you don't want to drink it, if you an avoid filtering, avoid it.
Zivethy
Is it bad for health reasons or does it taste bad?
AzgarOgly
It's all about taste. Thou I don't think that settle is very good for health either.
WessexRanger
Normally you would fleet a high end vintage port through a muslin cloth into a decanter so it would capture any deposit or bits of cork
therealZzzzz
Or if you’re at home, a coffee filter will do if you don’t have random bits of muslin hanging about
WessexRanger
Who doesn't have random bits of muslin?! Savages!
RipOffTheBandAid
Because glass shards are better than tiny pieces of cork obviously
zanthius1
That's how the alcohol gets into your system quicker!
BlackCatCasper
Crafty Mexicans and their glass candy
wannabeawesome
I dont get it either
DamnBrainWhyUNoCreative
Cork makes the wine taste bad. Glass shards don't. As you will pour it into a decanter to check for debris, glass shards won't matter.
LuciusNeedful
Nope. Properly stored the content would be in constant contact with the cork.
DamnBrainWhyUNoCreative
_if_ it was properly stored. Which it wasn't, obviously.
PaulsonPieces
You are extremely wrong. Their is thousands of silica particles in that bottle now. Source I work with glass daily.
DamnBrainWhyUNoCreative
Well, usually the glass wouldn't break like this. As you work with glass, you might know, that it is a clean cut when done right.
PaulsonPieces
Yes and even a perfectly clean cut releases shit tons of particles. Ide never open my wine like this.
HardcoreMango
Glass shards can be removed, corked wine is undrinkable
Thisisheavydoc
“Corked” doesn’t mean tiny bits of cork floating in it. Corked means the wine was spoiled by bacteria. That’s why you’re given wine to 1/2
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Thisisheavydoc
Taste at restaurants. It’s not “do you like this” it’s “is this corked or not?”. So you don’t drink half the bottle and then complain.
Malkiot
I laugh at people saying cork spoils the taste. Wine is usually stored so that the wine touches the cork.
MrZev
When sabering they tell you not to drink it if it breaks like that basically. Glass shards can get really tiny. Use a coffee filter maybe?
OffBrains
Would destroy the taste
igoslow
that’s what i would do
PaulsonPieces
Thousands of glass silica particles can not be removed. Holy shit.
NuclearMonk
you mean wine glitter?
PaulsonPieces
Lol right. Love that people in the comments think you can filter that out. Thousands of silica particles floating around now.
YouUselessTwat
You see that cork? It's so old and damaged, it would crumble and get all in the port.
phillipsnelson
the cork was swollen and the bottles neck an odd shape so it couldn't be pulled. Corrected method above, shit execution though.
innagaddavidababy
As opposed to glass...
YouUselessTwat
Glass sinks and is inert.
innagaddavidababy
Yeah, glass in your drink is no problem at all.
YouUselessTwat
Clearly you missed the "sinks" bit. The glass falls to the bottom of the bottle, and you decant the port (#5) to remove glass and sediment.
knobcopter
Cork kind dries out and degrades over time so I'm assuming it was stored improperly and they worried a screw would make it crumble.
SliderOfElay
I've had this happen. It sucked.
NoeCarrier
I always like to crumble after a good screw
WhatzitTooya
Not uncommon on decades old port wine, especially with he conical bottleneck. it's supposed to leave a clean break if done right, though.
JesusofMethlehem
Couldn't one filter the wine through a coffee filter, or no?
Lobuttomize
Could just smash the neck off with a hammer or some shit
PaulsonPieces
Lmao don’t want cork crumbles but let’s get some silica in our wine!
OtterleyFabulous
If the cork dries out, leave the bottle standing upside for a few hours to rehydrate it. Works for congac.
CorsaC20XE
Wouldn't that affect the taste of the wine though ?
OtterleyFabulous
No more than breaking the cork, and having to filter it out, which will airate excessively.
derekjohn
DO NOT DO THIS WITH PORT - because vintage port throws a very sediment which will be mixed into the wine. The wine will be muddy and gritty.
LuciusNeedful
Use an upside down nail and push/gently hammer the cork in, the cork stays intact and will float as you then pour the port into a decanter.
rools2roolsproject
You open it like any other bottle and you filter and decant it. What they are doing is stupid and risk to get shards of glass in the port.
knobcopter
It’s easier to filter out shards of glass than cork dust.
rools2roolsproject
Coffee filters?. I am use to work with old cognac, wines, port. What they are doing is just plain stupid.
DiastaticPower
Yeah, it's definitely better to have glass shards in your wine than cork debris.
notsoinnocuos
They're Ausies they would never know notice
Ineedapizza1
Cheese cloth
smorsdoeuvres
RepostFromLastWeek
minkfarm
I need to clean my glasses, because i read cock debris.
jex0
If done correctly this process can produce minimal shards and a shear line. also filters work better on glass than disolved cork.
PaulsonPieces
The break in the video added thousands of tiny silica parties into that wine. No reason what’s so ever to ever do this and drink it.
jex0
Unless the cork particles are more numerous/ dangerous and the wine is filterable with glass.
pc404
Glass shooting out of your urethra...
SometimesIdontwanttolaugh
Amazinrj
Why would u say such cursed words
Stratego89
You... I don't like you.
valen00
I mean I'm no weewee doctor but you'd probably shit it out rather than pee it just sayin
bananaspitz
And grind up your stomach, intestines, rectum and anus in the process. Port good enough to die for
BlackThornDalinar
Pew pew!
ThisMayBeMyLastPost
Cork tastes. Glass does not.
Darkspire
Blood definitely has a flavor.
jhorowitz74
coppery notes.
sardonislamir
Glass sinks, cork doesn't. Just don't pour the last bit for anybody, good to go!
BidetAdvocate
Well, the glass doesn't mess with taste, the cork does. So... better dead or in the hospital than tasting subpar Porto from 1945, I guess.
AncientPostNecromancer
The glass wont shatter like you think, the heat causes it to be more ductile and rearrages it's molecules, the water cools it rapidly to[1]
AncientPostNecromancer
Induce a thermal shock via temperature gradient. The glass cleaves cleanly if hot enough, jagged if not, but if the heat is uniform it[2]
Rolsun
I feel like a coffee filter could be used to catch the cork bits. That's much more readily available than a torch and metal ring
ColostomyBrag
Not in Australia. Almost no-one here has drip coffee. It's espresso or instant. Plus you could also use the filter for the glass, which is..
ColostomyBrag
..almost inert and won't soak up any of the booze!
MorgulTheFriendlyDrelb
bullshit. aeropress use paper filters and are very common. Paper filters readily available in Melb. I've got plenty I use for camping.
TootInCommon
Coffee filter would change the flavor a lot
Opskii
Split Cork, especially old cork makes wine taste bad. And if the ring was done properly there would be no glass
Malkiot
Not that quickly it doesn't. What you're talking about is cork taint. Completely different.
PaulsonPieces
I work around glass. Every break no matter how clean releases thousands of silica particles. Horrible to breath or Ingest.