Bohab995
139115
7171
182
Apr 8, 2016 11:53 AM
Bohab995
139115
7171
182
MolotovKnights
Seat belt? You mean sissy strap
ItsCaptain0bvious
Second trip to bring the groceries in? You mean The Walk of Shame?
BangkokDanger
Boxing gloves actually make boxing a way more dangerous sport!
smokeweedeveryday420blazeit
I chew up way too many bitch mints. They say I have a problem... I say it's a passion
squirrelocaust
Children? You mean fuck trophies.
midgetprnlvr
.
Kenbamazingbutprobablywontbe
Lmao epic.
Mannybr22
Yes! That is what you call children
surfvvax
ApparentlyBritish
Amputation? I think you mean my new club.
Ssssssssssss
They have us surrounded; THEY CAN'T GET AWAY NOW!
zimeszimes
Good to see Chesty quoted.
superanth
I read these all in Ron Swanson's voice.
NarcanAnomaly
I read them in a drill sergeants voice
Schloobles
I will never not upvote tough guy
gatosenmispantalones
Dolphins beat up and kill sharks. They have also been known to rape humans.
TheButcherOfBlaviken
#1 sounds like the 101st in Bastogne in WW2
youlovemeyouhateme
Can't wait to ask my hubby if his next booboo needs a bitch sticker. I already tell him to call a waaambulance.
SoulN8
Tough guys say bitch a lot
vaesthor
Second trip? You mean surrender journey!
Hairyballsack
My sister in law had open heart surgery, 2 weeks later she lifted a old CRT TV, bitch died on the spot. PUSSY!
thomasf1234
Dolphins kill sharks for fun. I think that one is backwards.
Grimlockt
Same thing I thought XD
classybroad
Orcas do the same with dolphins, though.
SwagicalYololord
Orcas are dolphins... pretty much.
filthyRebleScum
Dolphins also rape and pillage like vikings
RiftSkipper
I desire an explanation to this
filthyRebleScum
They attack from the sea and simply fuck shit up; be it other fish, sharks, or a human.
ClickAllTheButtons
Bless you for bringing this back.
Ilikeyogurt
Anesthesia? You mean bitch juice
mrblackice
Chuck Norris? never heard of her.
BritishBurtMacklin
I uses to fight with bitch mittens but I prefer having the extra pockets!
IFrackingHateUsernames
My grandfather ate bacon raw and whenever someone mentioned it he'd say, "They smoked the god damn thing, don't kill it again!"
LaHaut
That's actually a common sandwich meat in rural Portugal. Heavily smoked though.
DeepMinder
How many of these did you read in Ron Swanson's voice?
CrimsonChin05
Morning Wood? You mean my wife's alarm clock.
logantus
Gems like these leek me scrolling through the top comments. The reply is way better ????
Joshkmanj
*alarm cock
CrimsonChin05
lol. Damnit! Touche'.
Yupurineutah
http://e.lvme.me/q3impmp.jpg
BigHop
The coward pedal. Haha!!!
Kamehameboom
my personal fav
youcanteven
Mate, who needs brakes, they only slow you down.
mylifeisontheinternet
Taking my permit test today. Totally putting that down as an answer
notthatdrunk
Have fun walking everywhere.
jonler18
Dolphins are savage AF look that shit up
Grimlockt
Yeah dawg. They'll fuck a shark up
LordofGoats
"They are in front of us, behind us, and we are flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us 29:1. They can’t get away from us now!"
Shardikprime
well that simplifies everything
LordofGoats
My favorite Chesty Puller quote.
mijk
Bitch mints until you have a flare up of sciatica then they become sweet candy.
LyricChae
I have an anterior rotation in my left hip that's caused a slipped disc in my lumbar. I feel this spiritually.
CISMaleScumLord
Morphine? Why thank you, just a little.
mijk
Yep, I was on morphine while in the ER, hallucinating in writhing agony.
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
Don't Dolphins gang up and kill sharks for fun?
dogfrost9
Yeah; they gang up. Like bitches.
NiceLegsDaisyDukesMakesAMAAANOUTOFYOOOUUUU
And an Orca can do it solo. WHAT NOW DOLPHINS?
helagos
They also have rape caves... O_o
ATimeTravellingRobotFromTheFuture
Don't we al- I mean... Er, wtf Dolphins!
nicbert
Oh, kidney stones? You mean dick bullets.
McShivers411
Laughed harder at this than anything in OP
JohnnyTano
Pew pew pew!!
StephenStrangeMD
I've shot three. The first one when I was 10.
themexicanstaringfrogofsouthernsrilanka
Better than the post
Ihavenoideawhatimdoingohgodpleasehelpme
With a side order of crippling renal colic? Oh you mean giving them a chance.
ReleaseTheKracken
To anyone who has suffered from kidney stones or gall stones, amazon "stone free" buy the big fucker and thank me later
redbikemaster
I'm trying to shoot one right now.
redsalmon
Oh my god. Kidney stone reduced my 54 year old bad-ass self to a whiny 8 year old man-baby. It hurted soooo much.
dakotab291
It's amazing to see a 54 year old type, "It Hurted...."
ReleaseTheKracken
Look up "stone free" its relatively cheap on amazon, get the big bottle, take about 3 tablets 3x a day. Bout 10 days later or so youll piss
ReleaseTheKracken
What looks like coca cola out. Dont drink it, but youll feel almost immediately better
Dalylah
As someone who has had her fair share of kidney stones, this is accurate. Now taking votes on what they would call them for the ladies.
ChellFreeman
Crystal babies?
ThisIsAlotOfSpaceForAUserName
Taco ammo?
chavnutsmcchav
Slugs?
MjrMorningwood
Crotch rocket
marsbaltz
Pearls… fucking pearls…
Dalylah
Haha that is what my hub calls them. He tells me to stop being an angry oyster.
boonearoo
Pee shooters?
Dalylah
Bwahahaha! That is perfect. :)
justmoral
I'm worried about your kidneys.....
shackman
Topomax? My neurologiest was like this will cure everything (it has) but you will probably have to piss out some rocks.
Dalylah
I am under the care of a good nephrologist. No need to worry but thank you.
SavagePatchKid
Clammo
Benallinf1
+2
AlexHamil
+1
nicbert
Hmmm... pussy pellets? Ummm.. that's all I got..
heyduk
Front butt ballistics?
Xilef2468
That's the ticket
Zentri
THIS needs to be at the top, my god.
charlietrundlethegreat
You know kidneys are more connected to the pussy and not to the butt right?
QuadrilateralEnix
Deer Lord that was awful. +1
PaulParten
You rang? https://arielbowman.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/princessmononoke.jpg