DonQuixoteDonFlamingo
166032
5897
91
Feb 17, 2016 4:38 PM
DonQuixoteDonFlamingo
166032
5897
91
buttshredder
Every time we walk into a department store he does the Gladiator, "Are you not entertained" pose. Like, "wtf is this shit."
FloodingWaters
In a Restaurant, Dad called a random waitress over looked her up and down and, in an accusatory/surprised tone said "you're not my waitress"
FloodingWaters
the poor girl had no idea what to do next. "I-I'll go get your waitress?" I hid behind the over sized menu.
yourspecialeyes
Every fathers day, he wears a shirt that says "I'm a great dad! Just ask" Under that, is a photo of myself and my sisters
SoftFur
Aww, that's really sweet.
SaucyDisses
Christ. +1
JeffersonSlaveBaby
That made me laugh really hard +1
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
That's so freaking cute, I just died. Send flowers (and maybe chocolate), RIP ♡
Cavalish
Please tell me it wasn't bought for him, and he just took the liberty of making it for himself.
yourspecialeyes
I am pretty sure he made it himself. My youngest sister is a baby in the picture
TheThirteenthDoctor
One year my dad asked for world peace so for his birthday my brothers and I got him four flavors of "World Peas." We outdadded dad.
TheThirteenthDoctor
@theonionbandit
ZippytheMuppetKiller
You're ready.
TheThirteenthDoctor
and I'm female
NoStringsAttached
This is amazing!!
subparusersubber
I brought my dad one of those little hats like Abu wears in Aladdin back from Afghanistan and he wore it for a week straight
cancerriddenlung
.....I would do that too.
noodleshoe
My sister heard a sad story, so texted our dad "Thanks for being a great dad, I love you" He texted back "Who is this?!?!
yourspecialeyes
Right before I left for college, my dad got us matching crocs so we could be twins.
datbaish
+1 for that, and your username.. MY BRAND
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Do these dad's exist irl? Are you real? Is your dad real?? This is so adorable, ask him to buy me a pair so we can be triplets!
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Dads* stupid auto carrot
SequinEyes
Haha that's kinda cute. I mean crocs are ew, but your dad's sweet.
NurietaGM
I like Crocs, Uggs and pumpkin spice lattes. But I can even for the most part.
buttcrackel
You're funny, I like you.
poorleche
My dad came back from the US when they had just came out and brought matching pairs as well. He literally said it was like walking on clouds
SaintNicholas15
I'll never not laugh my ass off at the "what a country" dad. I love that guy.
heffaonfire
though i find it funny even if not, but is this connected to something? a line in a movie or so?
SaintNicholas15
No idea. Does sound like it would be though
DandyTheFuckingDandelion
My dads the funniest person he knows.
queeriocheerio
I once asked my dad to grab me a bottle go wine, he didn't know what I drink so he brought 16 bottles. Dads rock.
Brandycream
My dad found left over sparklers in the drawer, lit them up and pranced around the house. Fire alarm went off and found it hilarious.
intenseboat
Googles me and then sends me links to the websites like I didn't put them there myself.
Ibluemyselfearly
My dad changed his ring tone to "Gettin' Hot in Here" by Nelly when it first came out and would dance to it every time it rang. Every. Time.
wickld
Mine did this to "Sexy Back"
wickld
Mine did this to "Sexy Back"
secretoaster
How else are you suppose to scratch your back? My arms aren't noodles and can't go back there.
Agapephos
Whenever I burn myself touching something hot, he always tells me "careful, it's hot" after I already touched it
MyWifeIsShakinDatAss
Mine too
impulsivepassion
oh that's a parent thing. like when my mom reminds me to do something when she sees me starting to do it.
Satinsball
Whenever something is dropped I always say, "yep, gravity still works!"
ChocloMan
My dad does this as well. Every. Single. Time.
TheBestUsernameYouveNeverSeen
One time I put my hand on the stove and he did this to me. I ended up having 3rd degree burns and had to go to the ER...
madetheaccountjustforyou
Bite your tongue, "How does it taste?"
CarltheMexicanWhoopingLlama
Lol. When someone says "ouch!" I've always said, "Don't do that, it hurts." Now my wife is pregnant, and it's going to be grand.
JackHaberdash
I do this! I got it from my mom though
keanukin
Do... do we have the same dad? My dad does this.
MyDogJake
How often do you burn yourself?
CmDunk82
My dad took me fishing as a child. We didn't catch anything so my dad buys fish and tells me not say he brought the fish lol. RIP dad :(
Elbertron
:,(
JackaLackaDingDong
Saying "hay, look" when driving past a hay field or seeing a hay truck.
FelicisAsphodel
"Oh dear" every time we pass a dead deer
goodgodlemon30
He takes a different route every time we go somewhere "so we can't be followed". I don't know how to get to grandmas house
JeffersonSlaveBaby
Always refers to my puppy as "that Damn dog" and acts like he's a nuisance but secretly smothers him with love when no one is watching.
anglergal
Why do dads always do this?! And of course, he is the one the dog loves the most and follows everywhere.
UsernameNotVerifiedForAccuracy
My dad does this with my cat (parents have her while I'm at school). He tells me how annoying she is but he's the one who spoils her most.
JarlUlfricStormcloak
This is my dad to a T. He complains about their dogs all the time, but thinks they're amazing too. He's 6'4" and they're tiny Chihuahuas.
HowAreThereStillNewLOTRMemes
My Dad sent me a happy birthday message on LinkedIn that said. "Happy birthday son, love Stephen (Dad)"
clancysmum
Did he put Dad in brackets like that? So cute!
HowAreThereStillNewLOTRMemes
Yup, always the formal one in my family my dad haha
glittermcsparklepants
I love this.
TheGodsMustBeCrazy
My dad asks for the same exact shirt every year for Christmas. SAME. EXACT. SHIRT. They're from JC Penny's. He has ten.
Ihmhi
As a guy with at least ten of the same shirt I could do with more. I have ten of them for a reason. I like them. More would be great.
yourspecialeyes
So jealous. He is so easy to shop for
intenseboat
Apparently we are siblings.
fartbender
This is how my Dad always was with socks. Grey Smartwool socks...
BalfMalark
How old is your dad!?
BANANAFLAKE
I have been buying the same shirt for years. They come in a convenient three pack.
Ihavewaytoomanyfavoritestosort
He's slowly turning into a cartoon character.
SaucyDisses
Wait why does it have te- actually no don't answer that question I'm out of Tylenol.
ArmChairCommentator
OMG! Mine too. A black polo shirt from JC Penny's and he wants it every birthday
LordFancyPantaloons
Your dad is only 10?
HavingABadDay
My dad wants socks. Because I bought him socks once when I was 6. Every holiday, SOCKS. He relies on me with his sock needs! I've given up.
Taikwin
Is he ten years old, or are you ten years old? Either way, one of you is too young.
QuestionablyHatefulGiraffe
"He has ten"
TheGodsMustBeCrazy
Possibly....POSSIBLY....it has only been happening for the last ten years of my twenty-four.
serella
I saw my dad last week and was immediately struck by the newish shirt he was wearing. Because it was the same as one I know he's had for 1/
serella
2/ at least a decade. HE BOUGHT MORE OF THEM. I didn't even know they made shirts for that long.
ExplainThisJoke
Your dad is 10 years old!?!
wallywobbins
Upvoted from 0 because I wanted to comment this, too.
ExplainThisJoke
http://49.media.tumblr.com/64a803875b82a43c8c07842b3b55135e/tumblr_nvg5r1C3SP1u9hzkjo5_400.gif
IncorrectMemeUsageMan
Ever since I was 14 I've worn the exact same blue polo shirt
IncorrectMemeUsageMan
And don't reply saying "How does it fit" or some other Dad joke. You knew what I meant.
WilliamKeith
Like, every day, or you just have one you liked that you've been re-buying for that long?
poronkusemania
What's the link to the shirt?
poronkusemania
@TheGodsMustBeCrazy pls...
TheGodsMustBeCrazy
Oh dude, I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you. I actually looked one up on Penny's website yesterday, but the link was like 200 characters long..
poronkusemania
Send me a message! I must know.
nerdyvet
Ah Menswear. Where one can have a favorite shirt that one can come back to for TEN YEARS without it going "out of fashion"
SassyMonkey6
THIS IS MY DAD. He goes shopping once a year for their sale and opens a new Penny's card for the extra discount. EVERY SINGLE YEAR.
madddawggg
Isn't that bad for your credit?
Tamaril
Only matters whats bad for your credit if you plan on getting a loan of some sort in the next year or 2
ihavequestions
and he saves so much at jc penny his house is paid off and he buys new cars with cash
TheGodsMustBeCrazy
Oh my God, the Penny's card trap...I've been there.
TheImgurianWhoSendsFriendlyAndFunnyMessagesToOtherImgurians
Can you explain for a non American?
sambekal
If you open store credit cards (Macys, Penneys, etc) you get a discount right then. Like 15% off.
TheImgurianWhoSendsFriendlyAndFunnyMessagesToOtherImgurians
And how is that a trap?
IsThisTheRealLifeIsThisJustPharmacy
Is your dad Peter Griffin? If so, then shut Meg.
deadpanfaceman
Nut meg
IsThisTheRealLifeIsThisJustPharmacy
*Shut up.
HighrockTendales
I still laughed : )
datbaish
He has a mug with my 4 year old face printed on it that says "Daddy's Bubba". He takes it to work and drinks coffee out of it. We work 1/2
eyygyal
This is the winner.
MyWifeIsShakinDatAss
You've got a great dad!!
datbaish
:) I really do, thank you!
datbaish
(2/2) at the same place..
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
ADORABLE
K4tja
at least not in the same department?
datbaish
No, but all the co-workers know its me. haha
yourspecialeyes
My dad sends my flash lights and first aid kits every year for my birthday so I will always be prepared.
fartbuttfart
My dad always give me and my brothers flash lights as well. I have so many different sizes of flash lights now, even on my keys.
ChangedMyName
My dad bought the guys in the family a nice flashlight and a box of fuses
clancysmum
Seems like something a younger person would never buy but would totally appreciate. Very Dad.
blckroses
He buys himself presents for Christmas from Santa, and then forgets what he got himself.
[deleted]
[deleted]
itsworthatry
My mom is the same. She never admitted he was fake. I got presents from santa until I was 18. And sometimes cards!
blckroses
I still get presents from Santa and I'm in my 30s with a baby
LeatherDaddyFishMan
My dad bought himself christmas presents once and wrote on the card that they were "For Dad, from his best friend"
LiKeys
My mother does this, just many things. Basically everything she buys in december gets wrapped and becomes a present to her from Santa (1)
LiKeys
Including dish rags, a bike light, some snack bars, anything really. Unpacking presents takes forever.. I guess my mom is a dad.
RoundThreeFIGHT
I do this but only cause I buy clearance gifts all year long to package and use later
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
I bet you're good with handling your money. Role model material!
DONTsendtits
I do this! And I forget what I got everybody else, too. Christmas in my house is pretty fucking exciting for me. It's my favorite.
GirrusDah
Are... Are you bickroses dad?
DONTsendtits
I... Uh... Shit, maybe.
blckroses
Hi dad!
DONTsendtits
Hello offspring. I'm still at the store buying cigarettes....
GilaMonsieur
That was one present santa should have remembered getting
LurkMasterP
Mine went out for cigarettes. I expect him back any moment.
Yertr3y
I kinda feel like your username gives away your ethnicity.
RabbiKirschbaum
That line at Walmart ain't no joke!
ChangedMyName
Mine just went out to the garage. 18 years as of yesterday.
itselephunk
Hey mine too! But 24 years ago, garages seem dangerous..
pjplatypus
Mine married the neighbour and had a family. I've spoken to them and he's apparently tried to ban them from contacting me.
iAmMurphy
Lol! I mean, yeah, he must be stuck in traffic or something. . *backs out of room
SabrinaCrane
If someone at a shop says "have a nice day!" my father always, always says "no thanks, I have other plans."
buttcrackula
Just used this on the phone with a business call. The guy went, "heh heh wuuut?" I think I broke him. Tell Dad, "Thanks!".
snuffcarcass
I'm stealing that.
SabrinaCrane
He will be so glad that other people think his joke is funny!
elisegallow
My dad wanted to celebrate his 60th birthday with the whole family at chuckie cheese
elisegallow
And he had a red and green sweater he'd wear and tape steak knives to his fingers scratch the wall & say no running in the halls
JaxTeller
Metal.
elisegallow
Yeahhhh he s more like heavy aluminum. Raised me on horror films then would discuss how logically johnny depp couldn't have that much blood
NotAllOfUsCanBeMichaelFreakingScott
My dad used to plug his electric guitar into his amp, crank it all the way, and play/sing "it's a sunshine day" to wake us up. On his fender
lapus
I'm a mom. I play "house of the rising sun" on the piano and sing loudly when my son takes forever top get ready for school.
IsThisTheRealLifeIsThisJustPharmacy
That's pretty cool.
NotAllOfUsCanBeMichaelFreakingScott
It's cool til he does it at 5 am on a Saturday, but other than that it was cool. He also was my teacher from 7-12th grade.
IsThisTheRealLifeIsThisJustPharmacy
What did you call him in class?
NotAllOfUsCanBeMichaelFreakingScott
Dad, unless I was trying to get his attention. Then it was Mr. _______
DaConm4n
I remember having Mr. Underscore as a teacher.
NeverEnoughPuppyLove
Mine would play "here comes the sun" by the beatles & do a shimmy dance as he opened the blinds... still can't hear that song w/ seeing that
TittySprinklesAndClitter
I did that to my college roommate, almost full volume on the computer speakers. She threw pillows at me.
LemonStarbursts
My dad would shimmy like Tevye in the Fiddler on the Roof whenever "Tradition" comes on
somehowiendedupintexas
My dad got a tattoo of stars shooting across his back. I still don't really understand it. He has no other tattoos
Catmancer9000
Like a tramp stamp lol
Zatiebars
Sounds like your dad lost a bet.
mtndewfanatic
Maybe crazy college days?
somehowiendedupintexas
Nope, got the tattoo in his 60s
mtndewfanatic
Hmm got me then haha
zezethedragon
It was the 60s, it should be self explanatory.
mtndewfanatic
HIS 60s not THE 60s lol
ZippytheMuppetKiller
I was around 30 and on the toilet, he brings me a cup of coffee into the bathroom, puts it down, says "Nothin I haven't seen before." Leaves
ZippytheMuppetKiller
Hahaa apparently not because he never did that again XD
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
You go into the bathroom with the door unlocked? I can't even do that when I'm home alone
ZippytheMuppetKiller
I was sitting on the toilet, Dad came in to bring me coffee. I guess I didn't lock it heh
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Lmao, your comments did make me actually laugh out though. Startled my sister a little
ZippytheMuppetKiller
Hahaa! :D
lulurafa
I live by myself, I don't even shut the door. Fuck it. Now the front door is locked at all times. But no other doors get shut
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
I still live with my family and can't bring myself to do it even when no one else scheduled to come home for several hours. Psychology!
clancysmum
When we did our Reno, we used knobs without locks. I don't know why but it's not weird anymore. No one barges in but it's weird for visitors
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
It makes sense that you've gotten used it and people have the common sense not to barge into a bathroom through a closed door
clancysmum
Mostly. It was a challenge when the kids were smaller. SORRY GRANDPA!
MyPalmsSpaghettiKneesWeakArmsSpaghettiTheresVomitOnMySpaghetti
Hahahaha, that sounds like an entertaining story