Memes that made me drop my croissant

Sep 14, 2023 12:37 PM

KlvrDissident

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74516

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1453

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42

It’s always Hello Fresh or Raid Shadow Legends

I hope there’s spring rolls

Consent is the missing element

I use a vampire shot glass for my moonsickness

Do people think Olive Garden is “fancy”? Overpriced for sure, but fancy? I dunno

Pure fucken garbage

We’ve looped back around to “devastating truth” I see

I’ve been on Fae Farm lately, it’s a whole thing trying to plan your 18-minute “day”

This tweet is 5 years old and it’s only gotten more true :(

My 14 year old cat Turtle is missing most of his teeth, so he’s frequently afflicted with the Blep #cat_tax

Grew up in the midwest - Olive Garden was fancy, only thing fancier than it was Cheesecake Factory. (sigh)

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#1 i got tired of ads on YT, friend paid for YT Ref and i joined his family plan, no more ads. Shortly after creators started doing baked in sponsor ads. Went to netflix for on demand ad-free streaming, they eventually started previewing shows in menus (self advertising) then all of the platforms baked in personal ads before shows and movies. I hate that i pay for premium services and am still being advertised to.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

#2 That is disGUSting! You're supposed to cut the inner bag carefully so it can be folded out of the way. Or cut a hole in the bag, just large enough for a large spoon. Otherwise milk gets everywhere.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

"Vampire shit glass"

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#1 podcasts too. I'm thankful that hosts use a very distinct voice cadence when they're reading ads vs doing their actual show, that way I can easily spam the +30s button until their voice goes back to normal and then hit -15s once.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

#17 my last apartment had at least 2 or 3 of those that would fall the second you touched the pull chain thing

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

#17 Bro just use a hole punch on the other end and hang it back up.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

#15 oh man I didn't think it was possible for someone to be this wrong.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

#1 I love how the "Most Replayed" bit of the video is the end of the ad.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

+1 for "Vampire Shotglass"... I damn near choked on my fajitas.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#4 simple and recyclable is best. More things should just be packed in a paper or hemp bag

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#1 Look up the extension called "Sponcer Block for YouTube" https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/sponsorblock-for-youtube/

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You beat me to it XD I just added a few more blocks today, too

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I stole a lot of these and will now bombard my friends. Cheers OP

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#13 I too use a vampire shot glass for my moonsickness and I will from now on refer to it as a vampire shot glass for my moonsickness.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

I learned something new. And it’s hilarious how.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#1 I love Sponsorblock on firefox

2 years ago | Likes 22 Dislikes 0

#13 There is a whole movie exploring this allegory and the parallels between periods/hormones and lyncathropy. Its called Ginger Snaps and its legitimately pretty decent, check it out.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I literally watched this two days ago. It’s not half bad! Great for this time of year

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Vampire shot glass is the only way I’m referring to it from now on 😂

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#30 so handsome!

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I need you to give Turtle so much scritches from me.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#7 *meth

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I would just fix the blinds with double sided tape. Place the tape to hold the fallen pice then fold the tape over the top

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I scrolled down all the comments to see if someone had a Tip&Trick for these damn blinds. I'm going to try your advice. Thank you.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Easy fix but try and use a color of tape that matches. Would also recommend just doing that to all of them and punching the whole in the tape

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

There is a weird army of people who believe that everyone who eats at Olive Garden thinks it's like haute cuisine and not just a place where middle-class white people can get relatively good spaghetti in a clean, quiet room.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

It’s actually one of the better takeout experiences I’ve had. Even my favorite restaurants’ food doesn’t seem to travel well, but I got full portions that were still hot and tons of breadsticks and salad. And their soup/salad/breadstick deal is a fantastic easy lunch

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

It's too nice to go all the time, but low enough for a reasonably cheap family get-together, maybe date. Or they were when in Ontario.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

They also have pretty great selection for people with food sensitivities other than gluten, sometimes it's just easiest to pick the place where my wife knows what she can eat without shitting 5 times before bed.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

#1 Since YouTube tracks this stuff, it can just hurt the channel. Just zone out for the minute or two unless you hate them or are in a rush.

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 3

For channels I like I put it on mute and let it play while I get a drink or something.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

“The Bechdel test is a measure of the representation of women in film and other forms of fiction. To pass, the work must feature at least two women who speak to each other about something other than a man. Some iterations of the Bechdel test require that the two women be named”

2 years ago | Likes 37 Dislikes 1

It passes until she mentions the owner of the butt being "one of those rap guy's girlfriends"

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Technically she says the owner of the butt *looks like* one of those rap guy's girlfriends.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Mentions a dude tho

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Was about to call that one out cause I've never heard that the women being named is optional. You learn something new every day, I guess.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Either way #28 doesn’t pass because the speaker is unnamed and Becky doesn’t speak

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 1

It’s sometimes required that they are named. Just like y is sometimes a vowel.

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

#16 Nobody is pretending Olive Garden is fancy, we’re all aware of what it is. Taco Bell sure isn’t authentic Mexican food but we all still go there. Especially me.

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Lmao, growing up In nowhere, Ohio. I can assure you, I DID think Olive Garden was fancy ASF until I literally left my town. Now I do understand it's Italian Denny's.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

OG is a step above because the tables at most of them aren’t sticky. It’s also often the nicest restaurant in a small town.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

There's also nothing on the menu with olives in it except for a salad.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

So you are saying that there are olives in the garden (salad) at Olive Garden?!?

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

this is wrong in so many small ways. why did you choose to do this to me, OP? I will not claim not to deserve it, nor that it is right and just to so assail me, but come on, man. I mean, come on, man.

2 years ago | Likes 42 Dislikes 0

Dog ear all the way. My books are well-loved.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

I’ll use the receipt I got from buying the book, I’ve got a couple of bookmarks kicking around somewhere, and if it’s an older worn and beat up book I’ll dog-ear the pages

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Chaotic good gang representing, they're in a pile and the receipt's there on the first page until I get around to reading them! And the pile's too high...

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Receipt's folded of course so the ink won't seep in too soon (it usually does)

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Why not just tear out the page and use that as the bookmark?

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Yes officer, this user here.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I am unashamedly chaotic evil.

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 0

Right? Excuse me for not wanting to keep accessories on hand just so I can read a gd book.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Paperbacks, yes. Hardcovers, no. I dont know why, but them's the rules.

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

Fuck the police. *dogears a hardcover*

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 1

Your wagging finger won't stop me.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I fold the pages like... sideways then back, kinda like a paper airplane wing, so one piece sticks waaaaay out. Or just plop it, open faced, onto the table then come back later. Idk what kinda evil I am, but I love a well loved book so idc. 😊

2 years ago | Likes 6 Dislikes 0

Same here buddy, I dog ear every book and not ashamed BWAHAHAH

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Love this. I had one English teacher recommend writing in the margins, and he ended his rant with “it’s a tool! Use it!”

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

Me too. They’re my books, I will enjoy them for years. I will remember my old bookmarks, where I lived then, all of those memories.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 9 Dislikes 0

Heeeey! I resemble that!

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I enjoy salt & vinegar chips and feel slightly more empowered for the day because of this post. Thanks, @Op

2 years ago | Likes 106 Dislikes 2

I would stick my face into a newly opened back of salt and vinegar chips and inhale deeply.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

Me too. I could eat a family size pack a day. I LOVE vinegar. My day is complete with this post + the S&V crisps I has earlier

2 years ago | Likes 3 Dislikes 0

I eat the powder at the bottom of the bag, too.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

I enjoy salt and vinegar chips and feel like a failure because I do not feel like I have been doing a good job facing life’s trials and tribulations.

2 years ago | Likes 7 Dislikes 0

Sounds like you need to eat more s&v chips

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

BBQ chips do not taste like barbeques, and Ranch chips do not taste like ranches, but salt and vinegar chips taste exactly as advertised.

2 years ago | Likes 18 Dislikes 0

Pretty much anything from Doritos doesn't taste like it's name.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

You want the vinegar part of the crisps to blow your tits off though, that’s the rule

2 years ago | Likes 8 Dislikes 1

*looks down at my chest* Well goddamn, it worked!

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

This is the way.

2 years ago | Likes 4 Dislikes 0

Ever try discos bombs? A sachet of vinegar flavour came in the pack. I'd eat it raw out of the hand

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 0

Ain't no party like a salt and vinegar party cause a salt and vinegar party don't stop till you have a mild chemical burn in your mouth!

2 years ago | Likes 5 Dislikes 0

*chips

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1

Yeah, nah.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 1

You're wrong.

2 years ago | Likes 1 Dislikes 0

They’re called crisps in the UK, where they originally came from.

2 years ago | Likes 2 Dislikes 1