BlazingNipples
236969
10118
294
me irl
"Bring in the heavy artillery" - Priest Probably
Aug 27, 2016 6:03 PM
BlazingNipples
236969
10118
294
"Bring in the heavy artillery" - Priest Probably
Skyshadow86
in the words of Castiel......"LEVITHIAN!"
cmanmczesty
Leviathan!
LordHosk
"Oh good, someone volunteered to stay after church to clean and refill the baptismal font THANKS!" -priest probably
resonantD
Like the old days, they'd just beat it out of you.
texangel7
I'm a pastor. I would assume you pooped yourself.
Deadmanxing
What is it made of?
banshu
Mostly baking soda. Color might be charcoal.
totallynotcharlieford
upvoting because the URL is /oooof
tpgreyknight
I'm right there with you.
kuroda121
Have blond hair. Have it all in your hair. Get baptized and when the priest pulls you out yell " the demon is gone! I'm free" blonde again
Drakhma
and then there is a news story and religious nuts get worse.
DudleyWhiskas
OtterBites
The end of the link is "oooof" and that amuses me.
peachysod
"You got inked" shouts ashton kutcher as he storms up the aisle.
astorythatshellneverforget
Leviathan !
HahaTotally
http://replygif.net/i/1056.gif
CPolofVancouver
For added effect, you should then start talking in a really obscure language they won't understand, like Manx
totallyofficialdalton
My cousin put a bunch of alka seltzer tablets in her pockets, the sound alone was terrifying
pukeachew
This has to be true.
TrebleNightingale
What is it?
Smilinnoir
Bath bomb.
sorathecrow
Bring in the heavy duty water, we're washing away a lot of sins on this one
RockyTheWolf
Wouldn't that mean it's working though?
TortoiseGaming
Great, now I want Mexican food
Ulthirm
Hide it in your arm pit (they expect people to squeeze their arms, atleast has in my parents church)
Dickbutt696969
The post and the description was reposted.
isaidsomethingcool
It's actually quite beautiful ... You know, the evil
RoastedSalted
My church baptizes in a retention pond. They'd only notice if fish suddenly came swimming out of your pants and didn't immediately die.
just2more
What is that and were can i buy some ?
hpbitchcraft
Hexbomb you can just search for Hexbomb and they'll show. Company called Bella Muerte.
KaeLynKat
That thing is made out of 100% pure Leviathan
TheRicktat0r
You guys made me ink
DetectiveSherlockHolmes
I see this comment every time this gets reposted. Ugh...I guess I have to upvote it now...
WalterSobchaksWorldOfPain
LOGic1607
Can we watch?
res20stupid
I'm waiting for my Blu-Ray of that move to arrive
102316
battletoads
Grats on this being your best scoring comment ever.
TheRicktat0r
Thanks I got probably way happier at this then I should have
sexpanthur
I love you
AquaCrusher
@tinyoctopus
xYouKnowNothingx
@tinyoctopus
dQwfourw9WgXcQ
@tinyoctopus
Theboyacrosstheway
Neat
NeedClarification
Should wear a black shirt may stain a white shirt
lvluffin
Even better, go under in white, come out in black, oh the hysteria
IAlwaysUpvoteHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy
Calm down Satan.
SleeveHo
I'm perfectly calm, thank you very much
NeedClarification
Oooooh true!
AwkwardGirl4691
Omg O.O
pastawithjamsauce297
LEVIATHANS
destroyyourself
always upvote spn gif
AwkwardGirl4691
Exactly! And I didn't even realize the connection when I chose the gif lol
destroyyourself
Haha, I did.
AwkwardGirl4691
And u made me realize the connection lol
destroyyourself
SWEET
spacetorgie
aaaaaaand there it is
AwkwardGirl4691
There what is?
spacetorgie
there is a spn gif for eVERYTHING
AwkwardGirl4691
Yea cuz spn is life XD
DaMackies
"Happens to everybody their first time."
BlazingNipples
Holding my head down in the water "Shh it will all be over soon"
JerBear159
I just think of the Greyjoy baptism scene from GoT: "What is dead may never die..."
IHaveThePerfectPuzzleForYou
I think of Bioshock: Infinite.
JerBear159
YAASSS, BITCH, YAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS!!!!
IronicUsername
"That idiot priest needs to learn the difference between baptising a man and drowning one."
sangatster
As a Christian, I have to admit that would be pretty funny. Can you imagine?
Feldspartacus
No, I wasn't aware Christians had a sense of humor.
itsybitsyspider
As a Christian, I too would do something like this.
rabbiThunder
As a pastor doing a baptism tomorrow, it would be great to mess with some who need some "extra" grace.
IveRegisteredThreeTimesAndKeepForgettingPleaseSendHelp
Except most of these require warm/hot water in order to work properly. You'd probably just get kind of a black drip.
lordofthedank
All I can think about is that scene from bioshock infinite. "I don't know brothers and sisters but this one doesn't look quite done yet"
TheRaith
I'm Christian too and I might just buy one and give it to the baptee(?) as a gift.
TheRaith
the next baptee*
Rothgirfellhall
My mum's priest just pushed her into a blowup bathing pool during baptism. She thought she was drowning.
mechanimated
When I got baptized and the priest put a cross around my neck, I kept ripping it off and throwing it on the ground. Eventually he just /1
mechanimated
stuffed it in my moms hand and hissed "Just take it!" and sent us home. Hail Satan. /2
CatTaxCollector
I can only imagine
redbikemaster
I can only eat margarine
hunglikehodor
Come on man, you're giving me flashbacks to church camp...
TonyStarkWantsOne
iunderstoodthatreference.gif
TryThisOnForSize
Beat me to it. +1
Sephority
When that day comes
ItsATideAdd
And I find myself
TimTamFlimFlam
Honestly I'm not really religious but I'd lose my dick if that happened. I'd BAIL right fucking quick
celestedrake
...My church just anoints with water. Also my mom put way too much work into my baptismal dress, so this horrifies me a bit...
Brizzly1146
Anointing and baptism are 2 different things.
celestedrake
I mean our baptisms involve putting only a little water on the head.
lumberjackhard
Fellow Chrizzile here. For a second I would freak out and then just lose it laughing. It would be great
GueClaro
JESUS. EFFING. CHRIST!
Formalis
FENTON!
The1193
I see a pastor trying to hold you under the water if that happened
POWAHSERG
I see a pastor getting punched in the dick if that happened.
tprime20
Not sure why down voted so much
scaleforbanana
shush shush shhhhhh... let it happen...
BANANAFLAKE
Probably what happened to Booker.
MajestaetiskMareng
It would be a great combination with a freediver who could hold their breath for minutes
LichJesus
As a pastor, I've seen this reposted too many times so I'd probably just laugh. Also not everyone does full immersion so there's that.
BeautifulUnicornNurse
And even full immersion isn't really that long that a bath bomb would hate time to disperse.
MsSomebody
Hide it in your sleeve, drop it when you go in. Or have someone else drop it when they get out and you get in.
KnightofMalta
My dad's a pastor. He would.
RainbowRhino
might wanna change that answer for court dude.
KnightofMalta
Dude's a not fucking around sort. Also an ex high school teacher, so if anyone's likely to hold you under till the bubbles stop, it's him
FirmAndPerkyIsBetterThanWideAndFat
I want see how that'd play out in court.
MidnightWolves
There could be a case for "insulting" Christianity with a good lawyer.
Flyndaran
Damn hard to get religious child killers convicted in most states. I wouldn't count on momentary panicked belief getting a conviction.
Arnoxthe1
"I don't know, brothers and sisters. But this one doesn't look clean to me!"
splurgee
TyphlosionTuesdayReminder
Mistamage
The main character of Bioshock Infinite gets baptized in the beginning. He gets dunked back into the water and almost drowned.
Drzhivago138
"Bring us the girl, and wipe away the debt!"
Arnoxthe1
Are you afraid of God?
ArtOfKarolMichalec
Can you imagine a set up institution that came up with explanations to everyday life by coming up with a deity still relevant in science age
Brizzly1146
Intelligent design is proof of a creator.
AbsurdSteak
You don't need an institution for that, people's stupidity will do all the work.
caedescorvidus
Myth is the highest form of human truth
BANANAFLAKE
Don't gotta be a dick about it.
Imgonnatipyouwell
As an atheist, don't be that kind of atheist please.
cloudliss
Bruh religion is the root of all evils bruh. It's not like people would kill over money or land...oh wait.
LordButtermilk
People like you make it shameful to be an atheist
Imgonnatipyouwell
No people like you do because you think being an atheist means you're part of any kind of group. Your not. Atheism isn't a religion.
Imgonnatipyouwell
Also, get fucked.
BillyWarg
The hell is wrong with you
ArtOfKarolMichalec
I grew up in a country controlled by religion and I witnessed how brainwashing it is. Get off your knees people.
KatBlues
Thank you, but I choose to believe and struggle daily.
Imgonnatipyouwell
We need more Carl Sagans and less Ricky Gervais' please. Being a prick about others religion have changed their minds exactly zero times.
xRoyalWolfx
Normally it irritates me when people use the word "sheeple", but come on, dude. If you're gonna be a condescending jackass, COMMIT to it!
ArtOfKarolMichalec
Condescending to what?