FrozenFoodGuy
173648
3838
72
Any* goddamnit...
Dec 10, 2017 11:31 AM
FrozenFoodGuy
173648
3838
72
Any* goddamnit...
stickybottle
Elementary teacher here... Last year: No matter how much I went over line segments and rays a few students identified them as shapes....how?
AlcoholicsAnonymousBYO
Antithesis of careful title writing, right here folks
LupusIgnis
Vocational college student: "I don't need to learn percent calculation! I just have my dad do all the economics stuff!" - "But you won't >
LupusIgnis
> always be living with your dad." - "Then I'll have married someone smart to do it for me in stead"
ItsAlwaysDaDamnedGuvment
Plot twist mom was looking at pictures of her kids
Pouch47
Question - find the value of x give a reason for your answer. Student €1000000, it is a very nice x.
Walizzlizzle
As a TA grading papers for the first time, I felt the same. How can they be so stupid?
blahblum
Made me develop a newfound respect for all the professors I've had and understand where their general resentment towards students comes from
IllusivePanda
Was teaching 6th grade math, had to ask a student if 3 = 0 for 2 minutes while she said she didn't know
sassafrasslove
One of my 6th graders once asked me, "what's on the other side of the globe? You know, cause on a map we only ever see the one side."
FrozenFoodGuy
This is how flat earthers came to be...
thisindianajo
After moving on to adding after 2 months of place value: "Okay, guys, how many 1s do we need to make a 10?" *Crickets chirp* "Guys? Please?"
ThiccThighsEnjoyer
Wait. There are teachers for ants?
iAmConno
.
Kewra
How do you think they manage to build their anthills? The stupid ones are the ones who've failed ant architecture!
Distilled84
Who else is going to teach at the Derek Zoolander Centre for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Want to Learn to do Other Stuff Good Too!
TheAwfulNene
yes. They communicate using ant-ennae
LibrarianCatLady
I teach 8th grade Georgia history (state not country). Some of my students still can't find our country on a map, much less the state. http
LibrarianCatLady
baconicecreamyum
My dad was a high school Spanish teacher. He paid me 25 cents each to grade final exams for him. I was 10 years old...
FrozenFoodGuy
I bet you learned a lot from that!
LupusIgnis
"You seemed pretty calm at the exam." - "yeah, I was drunk"
FrozenFoodGuy
Hahaha seriously? We once had a guy kicked out of high school cuz he was too stones out of his mind that he just grinned and giggled at the
FrozenFoodGuy
Reacher blowing up against him. It probably didn’t even register.
FrozenFoodGuy
Teacher*
LupusIgnis
She'd been partying all night and hadn't sobered up. I think she had just been too nervous to take the exam sober. She passed, but only just
KarlijnOlavFenne
I once graded test, and not only did one student copy the answers from his neighbour, but also his name....
FrozenFoodGuy
Me and my friend made this mistake once back in high school... traded tests, forgot he put his name on it already... oops
KarlijnOlavFenne
Did you by any chance went to school in Nijmegen?
FrozenFoodGuy
Nope, Hoofddorp. And it was probably 17 years ago or so.
LupusIgnis
Nijmegen and Hoofddorp sounds like two places that could be in the same country.
FrozenFoodGuy
Misschien heb je daar gelijk in
Gaehhn
I don't know if any two towns can sound more Dutch.
KarlijnOlavFenne
They are.
pnumia
what is this, a school for ants
rhz1181
DJcryaftersex
This comment should have at least .... 3 times as many up votes
Areawoman84
Ant teacher pun beats even the most apt movie quote
bimbosaurusrux
How is this not top comment by now
StonerCatJay
Have you seen the top comment? It's a glorious ant pun.
bimbosaurusrux
I see but... Zoolander
pdbravo
My ant teacher told me that only the male ants float, because they're boy-ant.
LudaLola
I laughed way too hard at that
cuap
Musicosity
Slindrin
I want to hurt you. But, in a friendly way like throwing a soda at you and saying "fuck you"... but it's okay, Cuz that was funny
medsal15
Harryurhandsrfreezing
tivjotunsson
ExplainingTheJokeIsFunnierThanThePunchline
ph0xhole
Take my upvote you punny bastard
Manieman
AquaCrusher
Insubordinate and churlish
GucciBootlips
EndersGameofThrones
Thats the prison love scene stare.
JoeTheMadScientist
SacerdotalRevalries
You... you didn’t just do that did you?
hellocupcake
1/2 I had a student bring his pet hamster to class in the pocket of his overalls. I only caught it because he kept sticking cheese nips
hellocupcake
In the pocket. When I caught him, he asked if I could keep it in my coffee pot for the rest of the day. This was a senior in HS.
Pouch47
My favourite thing I have had to say to a student - 'Daniel put that harmonica away!' best confiscation - a bicycle wheel
afmgreentea
1st grader: Mrs! I took my LISTENING pills today, so I'm gonna listen real good!
MajorPubes
That misspelling really tied the post together, did it not?
sharksinthedark
My mom's an English teacher and I heard her mumble "wtf" and then shout "OH COME ON"
hbilly13
One of my students gave me a very well written lab report in which he decided the unknown metal we worked with in the lab was uranium...
Aussieausti
I like it, you'll learn SOMETHING quickly from that experience
FrozenFoodGuy
Well... that must have been an interesting lab day!
fluffyredpandabear
1st year teacher here. I had a student copying work right in front of my desk I asked what he was doing as I clearly could see his sheet 1/?
fluffyredpandabear
was blank n he was feverishly copying. he said nothing just checking my answers. I took his paper and the one he was copying to the side.2/?
fluffyredpandabear
after class I looked at it and who's sheet it was. it wasnt even the right assignment. it was last units review sheet. he didnt even notice.
fluffyredpandabear
and that only happened last week. so many more.
TheBravoMan
1. Story about grading. Over thanksgiving I was grading tests around my family. I teach a medical program and the rest of my family has
EricFromAccounts
This doesnt have anything to do with ants tho
TheVenerableJudgeTaintyMcPoo
2. AIDS. I spend a lot of time researching AIDS, because if you ask the current scientific community what the cure is, most will give
thorkild91
An answer revolving around the ccr5 receptor due to its involvement in to the virus infection and immunity to infection
TheBravoMan
2. Never been in the medical field. While showing them some tests my mother asks what a certain abbreviation meant. A student had written
TheBravoMan
3. 'LMAO Idk' as an answer.
incogyas
Lower muscular atrophy oh'no internal damaged knee
pdbravo
Lower Menstrual Aortic Ovulation. Inner diaphragm kinesis.
FlyingButtPliers
I think I saw that on the original Alien movie
dojan5
You can't answer with another abbreviation unless it's recursive, e.g. in the case of GNU.
Thewinterisstillhere
Seems legit
TheBravoMan
Lol that would be one unfortunate condition
MarttiPertti
As a unsmart person what would the condition theoretically do
ButterfaceTaintClown
I can't believe you've never heard of it. What kind of teacher are you?
offyourmumsteeth
I teach anatomy at a college. Grown women, after instruction and homework, cannot. Identify. The. Urethra. From. The. Vagina. Two have kids
BlastFX
Do you mean antatomy?
offyourmumsteeth
I am not a antomologist
pancakesinlabcoats
Used to help teach anatomy at a medical school. Student came up with a bisected testicle and asked me to help identify the medullary pyramid
pancakesinlabcoats
I can help, but you’re gonna have to bring me the correct organ first ..
offyourmumsteeth
Ask them to calculate the testicular filtration rate
pancakesinlabcoats
Haha, too bad they would still pass. The mediocre educational standards for future physicians, at least where I was, are part of why I left
LupusIgnis
I had an anatomy professor who was a surgeon. He couldn't remember ulna from radius because he was a LEG surgeon.
offyourmumsteeth
I tell then thumbs up for "that's rad" and the use their pinky to draw a U
Sh4dowWalker96
That's genius.
LupusIgnis
I like the first, but how do you draw a U with the pinky?
offyourmumsteeth
Pinky out like you are daintily drinking tea. Pretend it is a pen, pencil, or stylus and draw a U in the air
LupusIgnis
I'm not sure I get it, but i get the other one, and that's enough.
Laoren
I'm trying to spend all Sunday marking, it's 4.30pm and I've marked 8 out of 30 tests. I've avoided it by playing Candy Crush. A LOT.
upstartcrow02
It's 1243 here ... I need to get started on my huuuge stack of grading :/
AmITheOnlyWomanOnImgur
Currently curled up in bed browsing imgur with 35 final papers waiting for me in the next room
bigblindguy
Scares me that people entrusted with childrens education play Candy Crush.
AmITheOnlyWomanOnImgur
Hey, we need to keep our skills sharp somehow.
Laoren
Blimey you must be easily frightened then.
bigblindguy
No, I've been in battle, I've climbed mountains, I've jumped from bridges. But Candy Crush is game version of cancer and it worries me 1/2
bigblindguy
2/2 that people who will be figures of influence in a child's life would debase themselves like that, kid's learn what they see.
Laoren
Well the fact that it's a Sunday and no students can see me playing Candy Crush makes me ok with it.
ConcertoForOrchestra
I gave my students an open notebook test. Literally every answer was there from previous classes. 55% of them failed.
Hyacinthodelavega
studies have shown that even if this is an excellent practice, if you do that on unprepared students who never had this chance, this won't
Hyacinthodelavega
work at all. The sociocultural + didactic background they come from matters a lot in their learning process. Source : my effing phd
thesmelge
From the other side, lecturer gave us test, told us to slightly modify code from an earlier class. Everyone just copy/pasted to pass. 1/2
thesmelge
I was the only one who threw out the original code and did it from scratch because I was there to fucking learn, not copy. 2/2
meskarune
99% of software development is copying code and slightly modifying it though...
thesmelge
Yeah, but at some point you need to actually learn.
zutaramyotp
oh, look at you, bra-fucking-vo! not everyone can afford to sacrifice their grades for principle
thesmelge
It was something we'd been doing for a week or so, it wasn't difficult. The lecturer just couldn't be bothered actually teaching.
thesmelge
Besides, if it was important, in an actual job you'd need to actually use your brain instead of copying a sheet.
01010101011100110110010101110010011011100110000101101101e
My brother told his class they "might" have a quiz at the end of the week and then decided he wasn't going to give it but he got so many...
01010101011100110110010101110010011011100110000101101101e
Emails from parents claiming it was "cruel" to keep them in suspense so he gave the quiz and told the kids it was bc of their neurotic paren
Timpani
-oid tendencies.
01010101011100110110010101110010011011100110000101101101e
Ts
KaseiVallis
Ha. a post with two letters gets more points than most others here.
FrozenFoodGuy
I bet those kids were delighted to hear their parents were to blame for their quiz.
somanywonders987
Yup, by and far the worst part of the job is the parents.
sj2890
This - so much this
JustAReallyConfusedDuck
My highschool math teacher told us to draw a square 5x9 and then yelled at me because i pointed out the mistake.
LupusIgnis
Yeah, I've had very few bad students but lots of students who had had bad teachers. I needed to teach those to trust themselves with math.
FrozenFoodGuy
My high school math teacher would get angry at me whenever i pointed out his equations could be done much quicker and simpler...
LupusIgnis
Never get angry with your students, unless it's because they bully someone.
FrozenFoodGuy
Well in our teachers defence, this was a weekly occurrence... we all fully understood and were just waiting for it to happen.
FrozenFoodGuy
But yeah... this is the same teacher that got suspended for hitting a student once...
FrozenFoodGuy
Oh lol i replied to the wrong comment thread... i thought this was where i told about the kid being kicked for being stoned oht of his mind
LupusIgnis
Makes more sense.
FrozenFoodGuy
But... we also had a few teachers with anger issues... it wasn’t weird for a teacher to be suspended from time to time as well...
LupusIgnis
Several of my elementary school teachers drank or hit the children, both illegal in my country, but we had a terribly incompetent principal.
derekjohn
I didn't mind teaching idiots, I didn't mind failing them. I did mind being told by Inspectors that they failed because of my incompetence.
extremisttt
THISSSSSSS
CT1space3DX
This seems to be the new trend in US education. I should be retiring this year, but I left seven years ago because of this crap.
RogueMachinae
On the flip side of that, there are some shitty teachers that can't teach and then blame it on the students
ResemblingRemarks
You can learn anything you set your mind to, teacher or no. Shitty teacher mean you have to teach yourself.
RogueMachinae
There are some subject you just need a teacher there to help.
ResemblingRemarks
Sure, so find someone on the internet. I was able to find youtubes videos on every subject in the course I taught this semester.