Jul 16, 2021 4:06 PM
anlyin
110559
2930
87
ficklampa
That's a big fucking spider, bud! I would be scared too.
DukePhelan
I wonder if that was his first contract kill. I suspect its not.
jrholder6263
Don’t kill spiders, you ding dongs. They’re important.
AlmostScientist
Give this man a raise
tacos12345555555
Police woulda shot it then shot the homeowner
TheMadOnion
Good for that guy but I would 100% be like ain't my job not my problem and nope the fuck out. I'm a 6'5 man terrified of spiders I'll admit.
HassyWan
Awww poor spidey!!! ?
confuciusman
Amazon shopper hires hitman to kill spider :0
userfriendly19777
v
jonnyc78
Douch for killing it move the thing
Sheldonian
Premium service right there
MissyWentMissing
Deserves a tip imo.
gtollie
Just like no country for old men
Asadsadsadclown
Unfortunately this took longer than throwing the package from the street and he was proptly fired for inefficiently.
BryanLaserEpee
Be better if he faked getting absolutely wrecked by the spider
bsgt2trekfan88
honestly thought it was gonna go similar to this route - https://youtu.be/gNuuyiHAkeY
bulletbarrage
When he put his hand on the brick to brace himself, I thought the spider was going to run up his arm and go for the jugular
pazooPositivityPlayer
KingXBailey
https://youtu.be/Lc9_H7mZxCI
WitchIrkalla
makeamericasmartagain9000
Give that man a raise
SmokyDoggg
batmanbumantics
What in the fuck kind of sausage creature have we even created
annabobana698
There was no reason to kill it! ?
legobumb
Better call that dude's employer and demand he get a raise
whitey211
Hi fed ex guy! I'm just here to keep the bugs away from the front door. Hey, nice looking shoe!
ahernandez
Get this man a union
thischickgames
My hero
Mostlydeadpool
"this problem is too big for us. we need to hire an outsider. a professional. He'll do the job. He won't ask any questions."
globalt38
RackhamTheRed
"He's gonna wipe spider gut all over your entrance area, but that's the price you'll have to pay"
glenngriffon
that's proof of a job well done. So you see the remains are assured the threat is gone.
"You ever heard of jimmy seven legsl? that's right, you haven't. because HE'S DEAD. professionals. they get the job done!"
WitchyVixen
Aww no, not the huntsman... poor thing.
MrGravity
Kill spiders out in the open inside the home. Outside is their territory. Dont be a pussy just scoot it. Use a brush if you want distance
ididmyparttoo
Can't help it. I flinched looking at the video. If it climbs the brush I'd yeet the brush and run away like a baby.
bluntphunk
Nice butt on the driver
BallsDeepinaDragonscloaca
Man! As someone who loves spiders, fuck him!
WillemHellfire
Poor spider.
hannahbutnotreally
War is hell.
Pawntofantasy
There it is. Thank you
J0765
I would be fucking furious. Do not kill the spiders. They keep the bugs away.
MonteCristo1985
Someone walked into my office and murdered my desk spider George. I may have actually yelled at work about it. I like spiders hanging about.
Well I mean she specifically asked him to kill it so....
telecomteardown
*wipes the spider guts on the brick
Extremefear
As a warning to any other spiders in the area.
Antrazit
He just killed a giant spider, he can wipe his naked butt on those bricks if you ask me
RandAIFlagg
let the others beware of the hell that awaits them
delly
Alway double tap.
ATacoWalksIntoABar
Delivery guy does that for me and he can wipe those guts on my forehead IDGAF he’s my hero
ThatLoserTheFourth
johnbaz
He was getting his heel back in to the shoe!, I do the same!!
powerrangerpl
ArcaneDryad
He earned it
starheart8
Tony Lazlo says hello
Stefnos
looks like he was just trying to get his shoe back on xD
wiltsjunk
Have to send a message to the other spiders
acornsagainstssquirrels
Yep, after I left a dead spider stuck to my wall I never saw another spider in my house, show those mf's whatsup.
TaintedMonkeyMeat
Small price to pay for invaluable service.
Noobaliciou5
Home is where you hang your enemies head
QuackWok
I just saw a documentary on ancient Irish tribes that did that very thing outside their camps to ward off enemies
CloakedFigure
To let the others know he was there… and will be back.
Noldona
Don't kill the spider, just relocate it. Spiders are great cause they eat bugs.
Itiswhatitisandaintwhatitaint
There are a billion others , one dead is ok
macturlock
This!!
outthere987
spidey frens keep the pests away. Little helpers just doing their 8 legged business
siilverbolt3
I love spiders until they jump and then I'm like no you fucking do not!
Spuduck
I always move them..but i know that they always come back to where their home is so it seems pointless. I just move them for my human
rozwell51
That looks like a wolf spider. They eat a lot of bugs that want to enter your home.
Oprean
Well it's too late to relocate this one
BatLadyRielle
as long as they stay up in corners away from me, idgaf. when they are on the wall behind my monitors or ON MY BED, no mercy.
dart223
Some saying about if you wish to live and thrive , let the spider walk alive
WyrdJamie
I work for a pest control company as an admin, & I always find it funny when customers ask me about what I have done, because I rarely 1/
have any service done since I leave the spiders & most webs alone outside. I can't tell them that though. /2
Timeslice
That was my experience as well, except I was a technician. No one wants to bring their work home.
Yup.
bigboneded
Also, every time you kill a spider, you're helping them evolve to be harder to kill.
ezSleeper
Ecerybody freaking out on EVERYTHING. jUsT KiLL iT! Sterilize the planet and see what happens to you. No wonder aliens won't visit.
NyxieStyx
How do you know the aliens don't have a creature on their planet that looks exactly like the spider and caused a genocide of their people1/2
And THATS why they don't visit ?
TheCuntCrusader
I'm mortally afraid of spiders and I too relocate them... TO HELL
Zeeo
LOL :D
Number1Sir
eltrim
If Spiders are entering my house or getting in the way of stuff I need to get to they die. I am arachnophobic and do not give chances after
LooseSeall
From what you said, I severely doubt you have been diagnosed with arachnophobia. Sounds like you’re just regular old scared of spiders.
A few decided to take liberties with my kindness and either jump on me or dash at me while trying to go for a shower.
TakeTheStairs
ive had multiple arrangements with spiders where i let them live in my lobby if they agree to not come inside. all doors open and no probs
adiving
I have the same deal with one in my window every year.. granted it's probably not the same spider but whatever.
IllyonGonzales
Window spiders are usually pretty respectful.
...they offer a leg to shake on the deal but im too scared to touch them.
SpoonOfDoom
Probably better that way.
Tinsugi
I generally do my best, but if it's being an asshole during relocation, I kill it.
Thats what the Spider Relocator 3K is for, aka an empty pint ice cream container, talenti has a nice thick plastic reusable one
Yeah, works if the spider isn't being an asshole. I work in pest management, but ain't letting the little shits touch me.
streptovsky
Look man spiders aren't endangered by any means and a lot of people have phobias
Most people *think* they have phobias but don’t and just have regular ass fears they simply haven’t worked on at all bc it’s a “pHoBiA”
[deleted]
AtomicChipmunk
You guys just don't get me ... it's okay
Did you just have a stroke?
ADegenFromUpcountry
WigglyBlondeNoodle
What drugs are you on and where can I get some?
ElbowDeepInACrab
You subjugate people?
Uberdoomer
What are you on about?
drizztx
Sounds like a conservative stroke.
Jeeveswife
Are you British? The way you asked this cracked me up.
I am not, but there are just some phrases that work.
ColdRice
I read “Spiders are great cause they eat drugs.”
trelf
That would me pretty great, too.
*make me
SilverNicktail
I try not to kill anything. Except mosquitoes. Fuck those little cunts.
fourducksinatrenchcoat
Same. Those little flying hepadermic needles gross me out
BladeTurMoiL
Wasps. So many here. Stupid runoff ponds.
Nope, won't hurt wasps. Humans might not like them but they're beneficial to things that aren't human.
HoeBagSupreme
Same. But my tolerance for cockroach is also quite low.
egrac
This is me. I will put spiders, moths, scorpions outside alive. Roaches freak me out so much though I can’t do it.
skellyten
I usually put spiders outside, but I've been stung by too many scorpions in my bed so they get no mercy
analnipple666
Where tf do you live that you have scorpions in your bed?!?!?
That’s fair. I don’t get them too often. Only been stung once
Sneckz
And fire ants
Palmskie1
And wasps don't forget wasps
Nah, wasps have a purpose, leave them alone.
Nope bees are great love them, wasps remind me of drunk lads looking for a fight ?
VoidofStatic
and ticks
SerenePrincess013
Wasps are pollinators. They suck, but they still have a purpose. Fire ants almost killed me, as a child, & I'll murk every single nest.
SilentZed
If they're outside, spiders around my house are left the hell alone. Has helped wonderfully in keeping things like mosquitos down.
supergreenpasta
I used to have a spider bro I'd get high with, then he slept with my gf.
LucJeanTheBard
I make sure to tell them that if they come inside and i notice, the truce is off. Already in house, the rule is no bed, shower, or toilet
MisterNoName
My general rule is if it's outside and DOESN'T TOUCH ME, I leave it be.
NKato
Spiders that invade my house get the shoe.
shriekingelf
How do you get a spider to stay in the kitchen? I've been trying to relocate one there bc of fruit flies. It refuses to :(
You need to eliminate the source of food for the fruit flies. Clean the kitchen! Bomb every surface with pine sol, including the garbage can
Also don't do home remedies, they can work but often give the flies a breeding ground too.
The vinegar and dish soap one seems very solid though - just make sure to clean it frequently
ficklampa
That's a big fucking spider, bud! I would be scared too.
DukePhelan
I wonder if that was his first contract kill. I suspect its not.
jrholder6263
Don’t kill spiders, you ding dongs. They’re important.
AlmostScientist
Give this man a raise
tacos12345555555
Police woulda shot it then shot the homeowner
TheMadOnion
Good for that guy but I would 100% be like ain't my job not my problem and nope the fuck out. I'm a 6'5 man terrified of spiders I'll admit.
HassyWan
Awww poor spidey!!! ?
confuciusman
Amazon shopper hires hitman to kill spider :0
userfriendly19777
jonnyc78
Douch for killing it move the thing
Sheldonian
Premium service right there
MissyWentMissing
Deserves a tip imo.
gtollie
Just like no country for old men
Asadsadsadclown
Unfortunately this took longer than throwing the package from the street and he was proptly fired for inefficiently.
BryanLaserEpee
Be better if he faked getting absolutely wrecked by the spider
bsgt2trekfan88
honestly thought it was gonna go similar to this route - https://youtu.be/gNuuyiHAkeY
bulletbarrage
When he put his hand on the brick to brace himself, I thought the spider was going to run up his arm and go for the jugular
pazooPositivityPlayer
KingXBailey
https://youtu.be/Lc9_H7mZxCI
WitchIrkalla
makeamericasmartagain9000
Give that man a raise
SmokyDoggg
batmanbumantics
What in the fuck kind of sausage creature have we even created
annabobana698
There was no reason to kill it! ?
legobumb
Better call that dude's employer and demand he get a raise
whitey211
Hi fed ex guy! I'm just here to keep the bugs away from the front door. Hey, nice looking shoe!
ahernandez
Get this man a union
thischickgames
My hero
Mostlydeadpool
"this problem is too big for us. we need to hire an outsider. a professional. He'll do the job. He won't ask any questions."
globalt38
RackhamTheRed
"He's gonna wipe spider gut all over your entrance area, but that's the price you'll have to pay"
glenngriffon
that's proof of a job well done. So you see the remains are assured the threat is gone.
Mostlydeadpool
"You ever heard of jimmy seven legsl? that's right, you haven't. because HE'S DEAD. professionals. they get the job done!"
WitchyVixen
Aww no, not the huntsman... poor thing.
MrGravity
Kill spiders out in the open inside the home. Outside is their territory. Dont be a pussy just scoot it. Use a brush if you want distance
ididmyparttoo
Can't help it. I flinched looking at the video. If it climbs the brush I'd yeet the brush and run away like a baby.
bluntphunk
Nice butt on the driver
BallsDeepinaDragonscloaca
Man! As someone who loves spiders, fuck him!
WillemHellfire
Poor spider.
hannahbutnotreally
War is hell.
userfriendly19777
Pawntofantasy
There it is. Thank you
J0765
I would be fucking furious. Do not kill the spiders. They keep the bugs away.
MonteCristo1985
Someone walked into my office and murdered my desk spider George. I may have actually yelled at work about it. I like spiders hanging about.
TheMadOnion
Well I mean she specifically asked him to kill it so....
telecomteardown
*wipes the spider guts on the brick
Extremefear
As a warning to any other spiders in the area.
Antrazit
He just killed a giant spider, he can wipe his naked butt on those bricks if you ask me
RandAIFlagg
let the others beware of the hell that awaits them
delly
Alway double tap.
ATacoWalksIntoABar
Delivery guy does that for me and he can wipe those guts on my forehead IDGAF he’s my hero
ThatLoserTheFourth
johnbaz
He was getting his heel back in to the shoe!, I do the same!!
powerrangerpl
ArcaneDryad
He earned it
starheart8
Tony Lazlo says hello
Stefnos
looks like he was just trying to get his shoe back on xD
wiltsjunk
Have to send a message to the other spiders
acornsagainstssquirrels
Yep, after I left a dead spider stuck to my wall I never saw another spider in my house, show those mf's whatsup.
TaintedMonkeyMeat
Small price to pay for invaluable service.
Noobaliciou5
Home is where you hang your enemies head
QuackWok
I just saw a documentary on ancient Irish tribes that did that very thing outside their camps to ward off enemies
CloakedFigure
To let the others know he was there… and will be back.
Noldona
Don't kill the spider, just relocate it. Spiders are great cause they eat bugs.
Itiswhatitisandaintwhatitaint
There are a billion others , one dead is ok
macturlock
This!!
outthere987
spidey frens keep the pests away. Little helpers just doing their 8 legged business
siilverbolt3
I love spiders until they jump and then I'm like no you fucking do not!
Spuduck
I always move them..but i know that they always come back to where their home is so it seems pointless. I just move them for my human
rozwell51
That looks like a wolf spider. They eat a lot of bugs that want to enter your home.
Oprean
Well it's too late to relocate this one
BatLadyRielle
as long as they stay up in corners away from me, idgaf. when they are on the wall behind my monitors or ON MY BED, no mercy.
dart223
Some saying about if you wish to live and thrive , let the spider walk alive
WyrdJamie
I work for a pest control company as an admin, & I always find it funny when customers ask me about what I have done, because I rarely 1/
WyrdJamie
have any service done since I leave the spiders & most webs alone outside. I can't tell them that though. /2
Timeslice
That was my experience as well, except I was a technician. No one wants to bring their work home.
WyrdJamie
Yup.
bigboneded
Also, every time you kill a spider, you're helping them evolve to be harder to kill.
ezSleeper
Ecerybody freaking out on EVERYTHING. jUsT KiLL iT! Sterilize the planet and see what happens to you. No wonder aliens won't visit.
NyxieStyx
How do you know the aliens don't have a creature on their planet that looks exactly like the spider and caused a genocide of their people1/2
NyxieStyx
And THATS why they don't visit ?
TheCuntCrusader
I'm mortally afraid of spiders and I too relocate them... TO HELL
Zeeo
LOL :D
Number1Sir
eltrim
If Spiders are entering my house or getting in the way of stuff I need to get to they die. I am arachnophobic and do not give chances after
LooseSeall
From what you said, I severely doubt you have been diagnosed with arachnophobia. Sounds like you’re just regular old scared of spiders.
eltrim
A few decided to take liberties with my kindness and either jump on me or dash at me while trying to go for a shower.
TakeTheStairs
ive had multiple arrangements with spiders where i let them live in my lobby if they agree to not come inside. all doors open and no probs
adiving
I have the same deal with one in my window every year.. granted it's probably not the same spider but whatever.
IllyonGonzales
Window spiders are usually pretty respectful.
TakeTheStairs
...they offer a leg to shake on the deal but im too scared to touch them.
SpoonOfDoom
Probably better that way.
Tinsugi
I generally do my best, but if it's being an asshole during relocation, I kill it.
Noldona
Thats what the Spider Relocator 3K is for, aka an empty pint ice cream container, talenti has a nice thick plastic reusable one
Tinsugi
Yeah, works if the spider isn't being an asshole. I work in pest management, but ain't letting the little shits touch me.
streptovsky
Look man spiders aren't endangered by any means and a lot of people have phobias
LooseSeall
Most people *think* they have phobias but don’t and just have regular ass fears they simply haven’t worked on at all bc it’s a “pHoBiA”
[deleted]
[deleted]
AtomicChipmunk
You guys just don't get me ... it's okay
LooseSeall
Did you just have a stroke?
ADegenFromUpcountry
WigglyBlondeNoodle
What drugs are you on and where can I get some?
ElbowDeepInACrab
You subjugate people?
Uberdoomer
What are you on about?
drizztx
Sounds like a conservative stroke.
Jeeveswife
Are you British? The way you asked this cracked me up.
Uberdoomer
I am not, but there are just some phrases that work.
ColdRice
I read “Spiders are great cause they eat drugs.”
trelf
That would me pretty great, too.
trelf
*make me
SilverNicktail
I try not to kill anything. Except mosquitoes. Fuck those little cunts.
fourducksinatrenchcoat
Same. Those little flying hepadermic needles gross me out
BladeTurMoiL
Wasps. So many here. Stupid runoff ponds.
SilverNicktail
Nope, won't hurt wasps. Humans might not like them but they're beneficial to things that aren't human.
HoeBagSupreme
Same. But my tolerance for cockroach is also quite low.
egrac
This is me. I will put spiders, moths, scorpions outside alive. Roaches freak me out so much though I can’t do it.
skellyten
I usually put spiders outside, but I've been stung by too many scorpions in my bed so they get no mercy
analnipple666
Where tf do you live that you have scorpions in your bed?!?!?
egrac
That’s fair. I don’t get them too often. Only been stung once
Sneckz
And fire ants
Palmskie1
And wasps don't forget wasps
SilverNicktail
Nah, wasps have a purpose, leave them alone.
Palmskie1
Nope bees are great love them, wasps remind me of drunk lads looking for a fight ?
VoidofStatic
and ticks
SerenePrincess013
Wasps are pollinators. They suck, but they still have a purpose. Fire ants almost killed me, as a child, & I'll murk every single nest.
SilentZed
If they're outside, spiders around my house are left the hell alone. Has helped wonderfully in keeping things like mosquitos down.
supergreenpasta
I used to have a spider bro I'd get high with, then he slept with my gf.
LucJeanTheBard
I make sure to tell them that if they come inside and i notice, the truce is off. Already in house, the rule is no bed, shower, or toilet
MisterNoName
My general rule is if it's outside and DOESN'T TOUCH ME, I leave it be.
NKato
Spiders that invade my house get the shoe.
shriekingelf
How do you get a spider to stay in the kitchen? I've been trying to relocate one there bc of fruit flies. It refuses to :(
NKato
You need to eliminate the source of food for the fruit flies. Clean the kitchen! Bomb every surface with pine sol, including the garbage can
NKato
Also don't do home remedies, they can work but often give the flies a breeding ground too.
SilentZed
The vinegar and dish soap one seems very solid though - just make sure to clean it frequently