Venom251
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So I work at a sex shop....
we have a ton of not sexy adventures, awkward conversations and tell people what kinda D they need. Send a message if you wanna hear what its like to be in the horrible/hilarious adult business!
realistic dickbutt
dignity not included
TheBlackShakes
Stay classy, imgur.
Cessepool
Please kind sir. Would you do an AMA for us poor kindish sex deprived imgurins?
citizen6
Now THAT is what I call a "pornstache"
Ilyathen
I just really wanna hear bizare stories - like weirdest order, craziest customer and stuff.
bonesawisready66845
Your resume + Linkedin profile must be hilarious
FelixG
How do you know the world is going to hell? When those at a sex shop dress better than those going out to a fairly expensive restaurant.
SilicaSurf
Would you want to shove something up your ass if it just came out of a gutter though...?
jackthezipper
OMG.. think of the fish you could catch with that worm
teamporkchop
You are dressed so classy for a sex toy store!! I would trust you. You seem like you could sell me a dishwasher. Or ya know, a sex swing.
Venom251
im not keen on dish washers but i could recommend a wonderful Bungee
okayamerican
I work with this gentleman and our motto is let's get weird.
pluminati
Great motto! Lol
Venom251
;)
Boodablitz
+1 for dignity not included.
LDedlock
I'm just glad people aren't losing their minds over the selfies! Good on you, OP :)
oculusrift
[igniting his lightsaber] You're the Sith Lord!
lawrus
"+1 for the joke"
LoverOfKittens
What do they taste like? What do they smell like? Where can I get one that would fit your mother?
Venom251
gross, grosser and shes dead so shes cool without one
whatdons
I wouldn't be comfortable with you selling me dicks. You look like a damn furniture salesman. I need my sex shops workers looking kinky.
Venom251
luckily were all ready to meet your kinky needs! try sounding if your a guy and gals can always try something neat!
Bwofreedom
LordBarringtonBunks
Looks like The Hound. o_o
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
Why am I still laughing?!
NormanReedusLooksLikeHeWouldBeGoodInBed
Does it annoy the hell out of you when young people come in a group and giggle and laugh through the whole store?
Venom251
yes....always. more so the 30 year old dads and moms that have never seen a fake dick and laugh for hours
nakedaussie
Do you sell video head cleaner?
okayamerican
LOL As someone who works with the OP "video head cleaner" is no longer legal we have alternatives though!
privatedick
Care to enlighten me oh sage one? What is 'video head cleaner' used for other than to clean video heads?
nakedaussie
huzzah, load me up!
FidelSarcastro
Do you sell those floor models at a discount?
DidYouHearAboutPlutoThatsMessedUp
10/10 expected dickbutt
Marrionetta
+1 for IRL Dickbutt
oculusrift
Your mother's dead, son. Accept it.
PleaseDontRespondToMySarcasticCommentsWithASeriousReply
On the one hand, you get to interact with (presumably) hot ladies... on the other hand, well, dicks
Pharya
The women open enough to go and buy their own toys are generally cool. Hot ladies can get the real thing on demand too
Venom251
yes this is true
CrunchyLumpia
I KNOW YOU IN REAL LIFE.
CerealKiller8
I know him too. This post does not surprise me in the least hahaha
Venom251
oh wow.
Venom251
yikes
KinkyDinkyWinky
I also own a sexshop. This morning I had to give advice to a man that wanted a fucking machine, because his wife won't fuck him up the ass.
delonwheels
I totally understand not wanting to be poly, but his wife should just let him find someone else to fuck his butthole. Fetishes don't count.
daelith
Doing good work then. Probably an uncomfortable convo, but you're helping people. Sadly, not enough couples have that convo before marriage.
Cezarboytellem
Is that something to be done first thing in the morning? It's the Lord's day people.
KinkyDinkyWinky
Tell that to married men that just want to put a dick or dildo in their ass on sunday...
Blotchrene
What's the best laugh you've had yet?
inbeingtoday
Stories, please??
thesm1l3y
i so second this! +1
zelekt
I logged in just to +1 this
FreedomForMobyKong
Op works at a sex shop. The end.
veryimgurwow
You must be fun at parties
Churts
Cool story bro.
schlauknopf
Well hello there, fellow sex shop employee! :)
Venom251
HALLO THAR!
MollyBloomsDeadDreams
Another one! Do you have a porn cinema included in your shop as well?
schlauknopf
Yep! Located in Hamburg, Germany.
MollyBloomsDeadDreams
Hey, ich bin in Mannheim.
schlauknopf
Witzig :)
Venom251
nope and thank god, i used to have to clean those place up and 2 words... yuck city
MollyBloomsDeadDreams
Oh yes. Especially after the orgies people have down there. Oh my god, it's so disgusting.
GoddammitMrNoodle
What's the most bizarre thing you sell? That surprises you how many people buy?
Venom251
superhero based weiners, and poppers
bmw5st
I'd love to see a post detailing your most hilarious/awkward customer encounters!
phyzome
...poppers?
scabab
lmgtfy
Venom251
they make your b-hole loose and get you kinda high...like whip its
NormanReedusLooksLikeHeWouldBeGoodInBed
I just urban dictionaried it as I too was ignorant. It's a substance you sniff that helps relax your asshole for better sex...apparently
Nubasaur
do they make u dress all professional like that?
aussie007nick
I worked in a sex shop, and yes, you dress nicely - after all, it's a business to make a profit, and 85% of buyers are like you and me.
TheBlackShakes
Perverts?
aussie007nick
Nah - buying joke gifts - blow up inflatable pigs/sheep, cheap vibrators, cock shaped ice cube makers, straight porn, butt plugs, cock rings
Venom251
i like to look good when touching fake dicks
Salieri
I really hope the answer is no
Summersky
NO THANK YOU, I ALREADY ATE. -Tracy Jordan
Pharya
Yo OP, explain to the Imgur crowd a few things about phthalate vs. phthalate free, because it's important and not many people know it.
phyzome
Since OP didn't really explain: A lot of sex toys are made of toxic jelly rubber. Phthalates are one class of nasty chemicals in use.
Pharya
Thanks. I was hoping he'd do it to add more weight to the statement but oh well.
Venom251
we have 0 Pthalate products, they are so gross for so many reasons. I personally make sure non pass into our store.
MollyBloomsDeadDreams
I work in a sex shop as well and can't convince my boss to get rid of this shit. But I try to make sure people don't buy it.
Venom251
i feel so sorry for you! those things stink like all hell anyway
kickapoojoyjuice
...and which lube to use with which toy.
brownbowl
The main thing to remember is to never use silicone with silicone. You don't want silicone items to touch, it will mess them up.
kickapoojoyjuice
I'm a big fan of coconut oil. I use that shit on everything!
brownbowl
I've never tried it, but want to after I came across this super informative article: (1/)
kickapoojoyjuice
Makes 'everything' taste yummy!
brownbowl
That and the only time water-based lube isn't fine to use is in a water environment, such as a shower.
NormanReedusLooksLikeHeWouldBeGoodInBed
TIL that I am ignorant when it comes to sexy time related products
brownbowl
Silicone: http://dangerouslilly.com/2012/02/ultimate-guide-silicone-sex-toys-metis-black-tantus/
brownbowl
Water lubes: http://www.lubricant.net/water-based-lube.html
koolaberg
I don't understand why you have a store... because internet. Explain this for me?
delonwheels
There is something to be said for being able to describe exactly what you need and having someone say "get this, not that."
Venom251
that is entirely why we exist, to answer the question I don't know what I want
Pharya
Not everyone has the luxury of privacy when receiving their post, and not everyone has the luxury of an unshared credit card
idontlikekangaroos
I don't want to wait six days for my vibrator to arrive in the mail only to find out that AAA batteries don't feel nearly as good as AA
Trimbl
Aside from the other excellent answers, not everyone has access to the internet or a credit/debit card.
ThisGuyHere
Girl explained it to me once. "It's kinda like buying clothes. You want to know what quality it is and see it in person before you buy."
koolaberg
I get that. I guess. The stores just give me the creeps. I spent too much time in the dark corner of spencer's as a teen. lol
ErikForman
Much like clothes, if it doesn't fit you send it back.
Emthe
This is an AMA I would love to hear.
DivesFromWipeClub
There have been. Google is your friend, there are multiple :)
HaveAnAmazingDay
Weirdest requests would be nice
phantomeye
ama should be oral
robingal1
I giggled way too long after reading your comment. I should feel shame.
Ohhhlookaunicorneatingasamurai
But then again, you are on the internet and I'm sure you've done worse.
ForWhenYouWantToGiveSomeoneMoreThanOneUpvoteCallOnMe
I want a gif of you hitting your coworkers with a horse dildo.
[deleted]
[deleted]
TheOneThatFaps
http://bad-dragon.com
doctorlawyer
i love your username
iwishiwasapirate
please do this, oh my god PLEASE DO THIS!
AdventureRoomba
Omg yes.
tygerpsimatrix
While wearing a horse mask :)
cjmithrandir
I want it to play out like the Monty Python fish slapping skit.
PoopingRightNow
I also want this
Jupiter94
I'm not sure they sell horse dildos in a sex shop... you need to go to Bad Dragon for that.
TwitchOtyolf
http://www.bad-dragon.com
PhilFrox
Your username.
WhoKnowsIfItsFredorGeorge
http://eelslap.com/
TurkeyBaster
I'm glad this is a website.
hoopalhead
that is a very specific fetish
Merlinikin
somewhat relevant
Pltnmchozo
The way it deflects is glorious
jizanthipussss
I wish they did this stuff with boobs...
graspee
Half Life 3 confirmed.
TheGreatMrDrew
Commenting for further use
TheHornedKing
Here we see the rare animated .jpg in its natural habitat, isn't she beautiful?
Salzzz
this should be on the front page!
TehNoobinator117
How about he uses the Dildobat from Saints Row 3?
ThatAssYouLove
Hahaha
setphaserstophun
Dat tiger mission doe.
StrokerJoker
Or the tentacle bat from Saints Row IV
DryHumpingTheConstabulary
Excuse you I think you mean The Penetrator you uncultured swine.
RougemageNick
Hear hear, it is the most powerful of weapons
RebelJane
I respect you for this correction.