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Jun 3, 2021 6:52 AM
ENIGMA00700
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DropDeadArtemus
This is the approach my wife and I have decided to take with our daughter. She's 10 months old now, and she'll choose who she hugs.
HenryLongfellowIII
The dog is almost always good choice.
CorprealFale
My sister has been great with this. Her older son isn't always a fan of physical contact. And we let him have his space Fistbumps are great!
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
Space fistbumps sound next level.
blkfire88
I get hugs forced on me all the time whenever I'm around my sister's in-laws... they know I don't like to be hugged and have taken it upon ¹
blkfire88
² themselves to force me to somehow eventually become comfortable with it... it has become a game to them. It is honestly very stressful!
endersjeesh
Tell them to fuck off. Or just refuse the hug. I love hugs but if someone doesn't want one, it's fucked up to force it on them.
AslanTheGod
Me and my nephews and nieces are super close, but if they don't want to hug me, I ain't gonna make them. That's how I get more hugs.
notactuallyabrownman
The trick is being the closest person to them after nap time.
Keairan
I'm very weird about being touched. Immediate family? Hug me all day. Anyone beyond that, I have to be the one to initiate hugs or I get (1)
Keairan
immensely uncomfortable. And that includes extended family I actually like, let alone people I barely tolerate.
donutkilluh5000
Yes! Support kids not hugging people! Including family! Kids pick up vibes. They know.
isaypoopythingabecausemostofyouannoyme
I fuckin love hugs
Samuraiflapjack
Right!?!
afatrollofmyown
I do love a hug, but CHECK CONSENT first!
DocsDarkThoughts
The first time I met my niece I offered my hand to shake if she wanted, because I remember having to hug strange adults I never met before.
notactuallyabrownman
I'm assuming the neice wasn't a newborn but I can't get the image of you being all businesslike with a swaddled baby.
CommodusLeitdorf
I've always done the ever popular High Five with my younger cousins. Followed up by a down low/too slow.
mrmartini
I'm the other way around. My nieces and nephews are creepy little shits. I hate it when they try to hug me. Weird little freaks.
Raidenn
I just say "hello" and leave it at that
TheMadOnion
Me: *glare's at them* Yo.... They then proceed to be enamored with me for whatever reason..... All the kids in my family love me. idk why.
FierceAndAdorable
Many relatives trying to kiss the kids on the mouth, then insulted when the kids say no. Had to tell my MIL we told the kids only 1/2
FierceAndAdorable
Mom & Dad kiss like that. She was down right angry, full of justification. Her creepy brother too. 2/2
Americanski
My Mother raised us the same way. She said if you force a child into acts of unwanted affection (hugs) how will they know where the line is?
Gnakenheimer
It wasn't untill my mid-20's before I gave hugs and/or kisses to family. In the Netherland it is common practice to give three cheek kisses
theshinobi23
When my eldest daughter was about 1 or 2 months old, I gad her at the mall in her stroller. Couple of old ladies started fawning over her.
theshinobi23
One of them started to reach into the stroller, and I pulled it back and stepped in between. She got highly offended and started to go into
theshinobi23
Some kind of explanation with "well, I was just--" but I cut her off with "you were just leacing my kid alone. That's what you were just."
theshinobi23
Rarely have I seen an old woman get so angry, but I don't care. You can't just go grabbing at someone else's kid.
EchoWhiskyBravo
You should have been like “hands off Cylon bitch, I’ve seen Battlestar Galactica”
butthurtnevergetsbetter
Go full mombeast. Your kids are as much a public amenity as your ass is: NOT AT ALL!
theshinobi23
Dad, actually, but my ass does still get some compliments.
M4GNETR0N
I try do this with my little girl too. She doesn’t have to hug or kiss anyone. Including me.
AnticlockwiseMetamorphosis
I'll have to keep that in mind for my 3 month old when he's a more independent child. But for now, it's hug and kissy time, little friend.
Captain77
I am a hugger. I will offer a hug but if it is declined I totally understand with no offence taken. I also ensure there is no pressure ever.
muwah
I’m a hugger and went in for one and the person said I don’t like being touched. No offense and problem! I can hug with my eyes.
LandiniusMaximus
Good.. it's a real good leason for kids.. I'll remember this for my children
Hurraachneedochnicht
My moms friend wanted to touch my newly developed boobs and I said no ( was pretty proud of myself in the moment) after friend left cont
Hurraachneedochnicht
my mother scolded me for making her friend feel bad. Fuck parents like mine
theeiinfamousiizzy
your mom and your mom’s friend sound creepy. and not in the kinda-cute-creepy-weird-doll way, like the nasty-stranger-danger-vibes way. :(
Hurraachneedochnicht
Behavior like theirs def plays into nasty strangers hands. I had such a hard time saying no already, after this incident it was basically im
Hurraachneedochnicht
possible. Some people took advantage of that... Not everyone though, some realized how uncomfortable I was and stopped.
TheCroaker
I hate hugging anyone.
staceBugTerror
I put my hand up and salute and say Asperger's
SharlayTheBarbarian
The hypersensitivity does not mix well with hugs, no touchy, thank.
staceBugTerror
Also no bright fake light and random loud noises, sensory overload is a prick
SharlayTheBarbarian
"What kind of music do you listen to" I don't.
NothingButGravy
Dude yes. This is what I teach my young students. Nobody is allowed to touch you in any way without your permission. And even though 1/2
NothingButGravy
I will never deny any of my students a hug, I encourage them to ask first and thank them when they do. I wish my parents and teachers 2/3
NothingButGravy
had taught me this. There were so many relatives I barely knew growing up, yet I was still obligated to give them a hug. 3/3
Hellstorm99
Please dont hug me. I only hugged two people. My son and my ex before she became my ex. I am not comfortable hugging. Please stop.
Hellstorm99
Only hug*
TheNameYouLoveToTouchButYouMustntTouch
what gets me is having to justify no hugs. Like with kids, the would be hugger gets all huffy and defensive. It’s not a debate. no touchy!
JohnWickdidnothingwrong
This. It should be "opt-in", not "opt-out with a disturbing amount of push-back".
appleporpoise
I am a grown woman and have had another grown woman say to me, "I know you're not a hugger but I'm gonna hug you anyway!" Wtf.
upfr0mhere
"I'm sorry, my probation officer says I'm not allowed"
groovydawgs
That goes for relatives as well. Every kids nightmare: the dreaded family reunion.
[deleted]
[deleted]
OliverKlozoff1269
People that don't want their kids to think it's OK to be touched without their own permission
IamJacksanxiety
Ever watch that SNL skit where the family kisses each other too much, especially on the lips?
SheTurnedMeIntoANewtButIGotBetter
"Uncle Gus and Aunt Bunny" https://youtu.be/cDfpmqpN4nw
camelman912
One of the best skits he EVER did... I giggle like an idiot every time I see it.
SheTurnedMeIntoANewtButIGotBetter
Goonie goo goo!
Equivocator
I'll go for the Hi-5 (as an Uncle) 1 niece doesn't want anything to do with me until g-bye when she initiates a hug. I leave it up to them.
BigFatFailureTurtle
Why is it that overweight aunts always wear dangerously low cut tops, then want a hug? I don't wanna see that, nevermind hug it.
FierceAndAdorable
Because that’s how the clothes are made. Designers think all fat ladies have huge boobs, and don’t get me started on inseam length
Munnin41
Not just kids. Us adults too. Me and my fiancée also refuse to sit down somewhere for everyone to come by and shake hands. Fuck all that
AnticlockwiseMetamorphosis
Fucking upper-management. I've had too many forcibly grab my waist level hand with a death grip. Don't touch me petri dish.
lovehandlesmessiah
“Come give your Aunt Bunny a kiss, baby.”
NothingButGravy
RIGHT! Like, Aunt Barb, I'm sure you're a great lady, but I've only met you once and I was 3 years old at the time. Don't touch me.
redstaterefugee
And don’t tell me “you probably don’t remember me—you were only 3” Yeah, you are a stranger and you need better conversation skills.
NothingButGravy
Looks like Aunt Barb is on imgur and downvoted me.
5NoteHalf
The old "Give Aunt Bertha a kiss!" and she's got lipstick up to her nostrils trope. XD
Ninethousandone
My daughter on the other hand: extremely extroverted, charming, and loves getting into everyone’s personal space. Me: hides in a corner.
lordsupafly
I even ask my own daughters before I kiss/hug them. And I respect their choices. Personal space is important. Hurray for boundries!
hathorlover
My kids want to hug everyone
607supermariobrosdeluxe
Yes. But honestly, it does disappoint me when I don't get to hug my youngest cousins. But if they don't want to, I shouldn't insist.
ThatGuyWhosFunAtParties
Thanks for being an adult that can control their impulses and disappointment. God knows there's too many adult toddles who throw tantrums...
IainG101
My family made a huge thing out of me not liking hugs; funny how they all stopped that when the Asperger's diagnosis came....
IainG101
"Oh, you now have a confirmed medical reason for your weirdness; I guess it's ok then"
WatcherNotCreeper
My aunt's sloppy caked on lipstick smooches. The stuff of nightmares.
Sinfel69
I don't know about you guys but I liked it when my aunt hugged me...
whateverthevoicestellme
Lot of assaults are relatives, so yeah
KatByte0
Majority of all crimes tbh, kidnappings especially.
BlueDuckPale
Look at you showing if with family! How very middle class if you!! Some people are orphans you know!!!
ActionJohnnie
Roll Tide
Pacobellincarnate
That one tia that always wants a kiss on the lips
Kythulhu13
I always enjoyed my family reunions. I got to throw horseshoes with my cousins and eat far too much food.
Wolvenlight
I read that as "horseshoes at my cousins" and somehow didn't think twice about it.
MADFOX
Well ladifrickinda..look at you and your perfect family :)
SergeantExplosion
I enjoyed mine too! All good times. Except when my uncle held me by my ankles and I cried and developed a fear of being upsidedown
NigelMcFlan
Every year the same reminder-- "Son, don't eat Aunt Pearl's devilled eggs. She never puts them in the fridge."
BeerBatteredandBold
Me too. I got to throw shoes at my cousin's and eat far too much horse.
Stephen9000
At your cousin's what?
ramram70
I'd love to eat my cousin...
FeIineDisrespectFromBehind
"Alabama intensifies"
DependingOnTheStreet
Weird! At my family reunions we’d eat shoes, and throw horses at our cousins!
moxieswagger
Ah, I'm Irish too, so.
celebritycorn
Weird! At my family reunions we'd throw our cousins at each other's horses while they ate our shoes.
Kythulhu13
Man. I want to go to your family reunions.
DependingOnTheStreet
You’d love it. Mum & aunts would feed ya, dad & the uncles would tell embarrassing stories about me, & then there’s drunken horse throwing!!
dafrey
And here I am not even knowing how many cousins I have... I can name about 4 of them I think...
PrincessPicklebricks
Same. Horseshoes, spades, and dominoes.
Squeezidelic
This. I didn't like these kind of gatherings because I always felt so physically and mentally overwhelmed.
PJVeddersGirl
Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I'm a huggy aunt and adore squidging my nephews so ill be more mindful in future.
gotamachinehead
Just phrase it as “would you like a hug?” And then they get to choose.
PJVeddersGirl
Got it!! Thanks so much. Excited to be having them over night next week so this is perfect
Fayen
My mom used to have an aunt that would bite her nose. No, I do not know why, yes, my mom hated it
IamJacksanxiety
Kissing Family SNL. https://youtu.be/uEbzD1bBlTQ
iwanttomountndewya
Marrying into a Mexican family and I have to customarily say hi to *every single* family member with some kind of hug or kiss on cheek 1/2
iwanttomountndewya
Everytime one of them comes over. Like I'm trained now but initially I'm like "can't I just wave? Don't even know them?" 2/2
TheDarkKahnigit
Lmao my dads side is Puerto Rican and moms Guyanese having to say hi to everyone is basically engrained in me...I feel you lol
burpmortyburp
Lol yup
hechicera84
My spouse is from South America and it’s the same. Teaching your kids body autonomy and this cultural habit is complicated!
Yenaldooshi
I'm Mexican and this always irritated me. Feel like a dick saying this, but covid has been a nice break from all the gatherings.
iwanttomountndewya
Agreed. It's mostly for family members I'm not particularly close to. Even had to do so for family members I detested >_>
TomatoPepper
that's why people says latino America is warmer than Anglo-Saxon or similars
LunaticLegostone
As someone with ASD, living in a culture with so little respect for space and boundaries would be terrifying to me.
TomatoPepper
You always can put your own limits. Nobody will approach at force.
iwanttomountndewya
See for me as you typical white chick from America I grew up with just the "hug the ppl you're close to" even family members. But meh?
TomatoPepper
I'm a bald Argentine man
Fheuef
We kinda have that here in France too. Even though I love everyone who comes over, it's such a pain to go through everyone everytime
TomatoPepper
said goodbye to that with covid
FreaksOnWheels
Same with my Québécois in-laws
arcenlapin
My husband's ate-family is Lebanese. I feel you
arcenlapin
*step wtf
LoodGookin
Phew, got a little weird there.
mississippilessly318
Same. Indian family. The worst is just the cheek2cheek. Not a hug. Not a kiss. Just pressing their face to yours. Pointless.
iwanttomountndewya
Yeah that is weird. Although sometimes the kiss on the cheek turns into that on accident lol we missed
MrZev
This should only need to be said for relatives... I'd be worried if my friend was that eager / entitled for a hug from them.
TendeAltumAndLoose
Mostly supportive comments here, and I agree. We are not Italian.
TheFishFace
There's real research to be done there. If it's bad to impose a touching culture on children, is it bad in places like Italy?
CatsIsTheAnswer
Depends: do you mean actual Italy or the magical place Americans see in their average movies?
CatsIsTheAnswer
That's vaguely racist
blumpk1npie
Fucking hell saying hello/goodbye in Belgium and France was awful with the constant kisses. Except when it was attractive people of course.
srirachamakeseverythingbetter
Well we dont do that anymore thanks to Covid.
hardlyfatal
I'm Italian and hate hugs, mostly because so many have been inflicted upon me by my family.
AliceHope78
I AM Italian and I keep my hugs and kisses ONLY to very intimate friends and loved ones... I hate kissing and hugging people I barely know
guyano
Real Italian or an American?
AliceHope78
BTW, it's the first time someone asks me 'real Italian' ?
AliceHope78
Very real! Writing from north eastern Italy rn
guyano
As an Irish person, I hear a lot of Americans calling themselves Irish, but they mean Irish Americans. I wonder if it's the same for Italian
AliceHope78
I see. I suppose it could be, then. Don't know how to feel about it ?
paolodrumz
Ma chi te se 'ncula
kudasiNezuko13
If I see babies in the store I only wave and if I see them getting sad or upset I just go ok I’ll leave you alone or if I ask to see tattoos
kudasiNezuko13
I ask before I touch a persons arm or parts where the tattoo are it’s just respectful
delab
Why do you want to touch people’s tattoos? That’s funny haha
kudasiNezuko13
Lol no I mean like if it’s a sleeve and i want to see the whole thing like to turn their arms or what have you silly
theaseal
i just want to chime in here as a very physically affectionate person, pls tell me if you don't want me to touch you. i don't want to make..
HenryLongfellowIII
Thanks. I am the opposite, but I can't blame touchy-feeling people if I don't let them know. South European and some rural folks, for ex.
theaseal
you feel uncofertable and i am use to physical displays of affection.
muwah
I’m very affectionate and physical touch is very important. But I know not everyone feels the same so I ask.
buttobviousfacts
I want you to touch me.
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
No. Ask first. Don't make the receiver address it. Those who are uncomfortable with such things may not say, "no".
theaseal
but that puts pressure on the recciver, it singles them out, were as telling me no puts me on the spot and makes me the center of attention.
dracklen
Sorry, but no. You can ask quietly, or do a fist bump instead. Otherwise the burden of disrupting the interaction is unfairly on them
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
You are the problem.
XplodingUnicornGlitter
I work with kids. Every time I ask if I can have a hug and they say no, their parents “give her a hug!” I always say “no, it’s their choice1
BklynPunisher
I saw a teacher who had 3 pictures for students to choose. Hug, high five, fist bump. The kids choose which one. Some people need hugs.
KiwiGameDev
^^^
XplodingUnicornGlitter
And that’s okay!” And offer a high five instead. They always do the high Five. 2/2
TheMadOnion
I remember some school teacher back in my day she wasn't my teacher but one for another class. She either gave hugs or high fives. Depending
TheMadOnion
On whatever the student wanted.
ireallylovetacos
You are my personal hero.
XplodingUnicornGlitter
Don’t say that - have higher standards! Lol
SomethingTittyWitty
High Fives are awesome.
neilp20063000
Honest question- why ask for a hug? If the kid is old enough to be aware that it’s a special thing, they will offer one when and if they
whysomuchdoghair
When I ran an after-school program I'd ask my youngest. PreK/K if they wanted a hug after they got hurt/upset. Probably the same
eyemastervideo5
I think it's better to ask if they want a hug, not to give a hug. There's a difference
XplodingUnicornGlitter
I usually only ask the kids who have hugged me before, w/o me asking. Only after they’ve been hurt or gotten upset.
NothingButGravy
Yes, this!
neilp20063000
Want to. My three year old understands that sometimes a hug is a nice thing to do, im sure older kids can figure it out too
textilelover
Some kids need encouragement to ask for emotional help. "Toughen up!" "I'll give you something to cry about!" doesn't lead to "I need a hug"
neilp20063000
And if youre using those phrases, your a shitty parent in the first place, so no wonder they get confused
textilelover
Yeah, but those phrases get used a lot, so sometimes you need to reach out to the kids. "My 3yo can figure it out" is great, others can't.
NothingButGravy
Yeah, I don't ask for hugs from my students, but would never deny them one if they asked.
textilelover
Many children feel uncomfortable asking for things. They have been made to feel a burden and they don't want to burden anyone else.
RevolutionOnHerLips
"Children should be seen and not heard" was still a motto when I was a kid
SweetMystique
As a kid I would never have been able to ask for a hug. Too much emotional abuse and neglect
SkinnerTBD
people always try to make me hug them and people try to guilt me into it. I'm a 36 year old man and I wish people had my back like this.
japh
MyCatsNameIsPotato
SAME. When covid first started I told@my hugging family no thanks. They just said “oh you’re one of THOSE people” I always was, but had a
MyCatsNameIsPotato
Reason to say no and more confidence to keep saying no. No hugs! Im free!
Markamanic
My dad never got this. Whenever he tried to hug me or something and I declined he whined about how a father can touch his son.
Markamanic
To which I replied: not if he doesn't want you to.
regularmatt
This hits close to home. My dad thinks the word “can” is like a magic boundary invalidator. “I can give my opinion/pat your bottom”/ etc.
RickySpanishhhhh
Just act like WAY too into it. Sigh sensually, and then don’t let go when they want you to. They will stop fucking hugging you.
regularmatt
I feel you! I’ve gotten better about standing up for this. You have to accept that people with bad sense of boundaries will huff and puff <3
Putitinyomama
whitebbwolf
learning to accept geniunine hugs took me a long time. Im glad for the folks who persisted. Still picky though.
madcatii
Try wearing a spiked codpiece, that will show them!
Nofoxlefttogive
That gets right to the point!
StephanoB
46. The pandemic has been the most relaxed I’ve ever been around other people
SkinnerTBD
the most relaxed I've been around other people... well, NY just legalized rec weed so I think I can relax a bit more again.
mechanicalfurry
I'm a hugger, but unless I already know the person is ok with it I always ask. Some people don't like it and that's perfectly ok.
Evadare
I like that. I'd squirrel that info away for when I know the person enough to become a hugger with them.
SkinnerTBD
every time someone says "I'm a hugger" to me it's always to supersede me saying "sorry, I don't hug"
mechanicalfurry
They can fuck right off with that bullshit. If someone doesn't want a hug they don't want a hug. Anyone who tries to force it is a knob.
MeowAllTheTime
Maybe move to East Asian for a less touchy community experience
Ampersand355
My brother thinks I’m weird for not wanting to hug his kids. He gets them to force hugs on me. But if they don’t want hugs it’s ok.
keenidiot
I'm the opposite. I like hugging. Love non intimate touching. But I'm also a manly guy and that behavior is "weird." legit why I like having
keenidiot
Women friends. Because they'll just hug or whatever and it's fine.
SkinnerTBD
I'm not opposed to hugging. It's just that I only want to hug people I want to hug and I don't want to hug anyone.
SkinnerTBD
my college roommate and I used to do a bro hug after every time we went home or we didn't see each other for a bit.
tigercheesesteak
Extend your hand for a shake
SkinnerTBD
tried. doesn't work.
ComcastLover
*teleports behind you* nothing personal kid
ilikefoodmorethanpeople
you are a 36yo man, hold your own back.
Irimoo
Wait, why are we downvoting this? Should a 36-year old not be able to decline hugs without backup?
SkinnerTBD
I can and do but it would be fucking nice if people would back me up instead of saying "oh, you know you like it" and "it'll be over quick"
SkinnerTBD
hold my own back? dude, I can't even reach the spot between my shoulder blades that ALWAYS SEEMS TO ITCH. how am I supposed to hold it?
ilikefoodmorethanpeople
yoga
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
Everyone should be in control of their personal bubble, but as an adult you should feel able to have your own back
SkinnerTBD
just pull myself up by my boot straps and have my own back.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
well no, but unless you have someone else literally with you at all times then no one else can speak up for you. if there is socially /1
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
accepted behavior then the only way to change it is to speak up and start to shift expectations. Nothing like boot straps just make it known
[deleted]
[deleted]
redstaterefugee
Women get hugged a lot more. It is rare for men to force hugs on other men. We get it from both women and men.
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
as a man I def hug men more often, mainly due to more male friends but also because I am concerned about unintended harassment
whitebbwolf
I learned to accept hugs from men at medieval festivals. When the mountain & the god of iron decide to hug you.... u get hugged. I also 1/2
whitebbwolf
learend to accept and spot the genuine love and care in ppl handing them out. Always respect for me. Hugs r great. But a choice. thx guys2/2
Ninjainslippers
I'm a hugger, but I always ask for consent for this reason. If we're not close enough friends to know who likes hugs, I ask.
ImAnUpVoterUnlessYoureAnUberDouche
If we were BFFs, I would have your back like that. But knowing you hate hugs, I would also chase you down constantly to give you one.
whitebbwolf
at 1 point that would loose u the 2nd F & possible the 1st too & earn a knee to the groin if u cannot respect a strict boundary of a friend
ImAnUpVoterUnlessYoureAnUberDouche
Being BFF means you equally accept each other’s faults. My humor being mine. I’d gladly lose a friend who can’t embrace my playfulness.
whitebbwolf
if your friends limit is being hugged and you make a sport out of it to hug him because that is "just my playfulness" yer a complete twat
ImAnUpVoterUnlessYoureAnUberDouche
I see that we won’t be friends.
Armored0Titan0
Not being willing to respect other people’s physical boundaries isn’t humorous, it’s predator behavior.
[deleted]
[deleted]
ImAnUpVoterUnlessYoureAnUberDouche
Show me your psych degree, birthday, and list of healthy friends and I’ll begin to GAF what you think. Grow up and get off your high horse.
SerenePrincess013
My "mother" has been wanting me to give her a hug since she found out I was back in town. In August. She refuses to accept>>
SerenePrincess013
No for an answer, & keeps trying to encroach on my person space. When I finally called her out on it, & told her that if she touched me,>>
SerenePrincess013
I would charge her with assault, she got irrationally pissed about "I'm your mother. I just want a damn hug." & you need to respect >>
SerenePrincess013
'My wishes to not touch ppl. No means no. Back the fuck off, or the cops are getting called.
melveys
As a very selective hugger I understand your feelings but as a mom of a non hugger I also feel for your mom. It’s such an extreme. Little...
SkinnerTBD
I accidently stiff armed my mom when she for a surprise hug two months ago. I know she was trying to be supportive but I didn't want a hug.
TheOldSchoolisBack
Username does not check out
Thisisheavydoc
17 people think you aren’t entitled to your opinion. Not me though, I think similarly to you.
SirRichardOfHead
Fuck I hate it if there's some bread crumbs or something in my beard and people just come and try to take it off. Fucking tell me and I'll 1
alaest0r
"WTF? I WAS SAVING THAT FOR LATER!"
SirRichardOfHead
take care of it myself. I only let my wife touch me without a warning. I once slapped my MIL's hand off when she tried to touch my beard.
RickySpanishhhhh
Oh, same here. Don’t just touch someone’s face!
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
Man, that is the worst. Steps to touch my beard: #1 Be a woman I want touching me. That is all.
rmsrmsrms38
SkinnerTBD
rmsrmsrms38
SkinnerTBD
bobolus
goldstandardcache
^ this. "Hello, its a pleasure to meet you. Please dont touch me."
sgtstiletto
Who is hugging people they just met?
JHawkInc
Go for the Bobby Hill method. “I don’t know you! That’s my purse!” Then kick them in the groin.
Zetor
"You killed my father. Prepare do die."
Stephen9000
Undervalued comment right here
goldstandardcache
I know Covid has been hell on billions of people. But i am so fucking happy that we dont have to shake hands or hug people any more.
deathsausage
Then you have those people that try and do the elbow bump thing.....
clevernametom
I’ve adopted the foot five and it’s been going well so far.
LunaticLegostone
I actually like the elbow bump. It's like a more formal fist bump for professional settings.
TheBritishAreComing
I'm the opposite, I like people to hug me but that's apparently creepy :(
somerandomusernamebecauseididntlikemyoldone
I like hugs and apparently give good hugs. have had friends introduce others by telling them to hug me (not like a surprise attack)
regularmatt
I understand your frustration! Social interaction is a complex situational awareness game. Tightrope walking!
SkinnerTBD
it's not creepy. I'm actually fine with hugs, if I want to hug you back. I generally don't and it turns into an issue if I don't
Irimoo
Can someone explain the dangers of hugging to me cause I'm not getting this :/
evilcarp
I don't know you and if you are close enough for me to stab you, that's too close.
hardlyfatal
It's not dangerous, just unpleasant to be smashed up against someone else.
SkinnerTBD
It's unpleasant when I'm forced to do it. It's shitty when people make my choice of not hugging less important than people choosing to hug.
MorrighanWolf
Sorry that people are shite about your bodily autonomy.
silverskeeter44
My wife's family are a bunch of huggers, my truck is to always be carrying something when arriving and leaving.Stops 99%, except 1 aunt.
AbsoluteFuckingWaffle
Do you have some sort of incredibly huggable body or something?
SkinnerTBD
it's gotta be something because random people will just start talking to me wherever I go, as well.
Gosuamakenatek
Well I'd bottle whatever it is I have and give it to you if I could cause I'm the exact opposite. Nobody ever wants anything to do with me.
Nlchacon
Modern problems.
SkinnerTBD
you're right. we used to burn weird people who didn't like hugging in the town square.
Anonaru
Dude so much this! I swear some people just have a "oh come talk to me randomly about everything" aura or something, because 1/
Anonaru
people will cut across a whole room to stranger- chat me up, and I'm not a banger or anything LOL
MehtefaS
In some cultures people greet with hugs.
thegregorious
Where? So I can avoid them lol
zeroisnothing
That's a no for me, dawg.
eldritchscreeching
I don't mind hugs but hugs as greetings are a no go and I'll make people feel awkward about it as I bear hug them and let their feet dangle
jesserayross2
You guys get hugs?
SkinnerTBD
only if I'm forced to.
Lulabel73
I get it, my mum is not a hugger. If anyone tries(very rarely) I’ll speak up and say “no hugging!” But I can do it in a way that’s funny -
Lulabel73
- yet had a veiled threat.
ServaDoctrina
Here, you sound like you could use one of these
v
SkinnerTBD
TheStreetForce
Then it turns into a fucking game to them. "Im gonna hug you when you least expect it." How about fucking not.
evilcarp
"I'm going to deck you and knock you flat on your ass when you do."
whitebbwolf
I am really BIG on hugs. This would be one way to earn yerself a physical reassertion of my personal space.
redstaterefugee
Or they take it as a challenge to hug as hard as they can so you can’t get out.
whitebbwolf
as a big guy, I ve let some ppl feel how that is on the recieving end. just so they get the picture.
TheStreetForce
Then suddenly you are the resident back cracker. :/
whitebbwolf
the Bane of the neighborhood
SkinnerTBD
I do know someone like that. every fucking time I see her she'll wrap her arms around me and not let go until I put an arm around her.
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
Set those boundaries
SkinnerTBD
I keep trying. never seems to take.
whitebbwolf
Mace? Shout straight into their faces when they re at arms length? Rape whistle? knee in the groin? "accidental" drink spills?
TheStreetForce
No! My purse! I dont know you! *kick* *beans*
SkinnerTBD
I'm technically supposed to be her friend. Also, I don't think any of those would work. she does it to enjoy me not enjoying it and the <
SkinnerTBD
> last time I tried to make an issue of it everyone said "oh just do it, it's not like it'll kill you"
Primotimewaster
I've had people I barely know try to force their child to hug me, a stranger. I always smile and hold out my hand to shake or fist bump.
TheMadOnion
Shit, I don't even like looking at kids I don't know. If a kid says hi to me or something at a mall I'll say hi back, not to be a dick. But
TheMadOnion
I'm perfectly happy pretending they don't exist, but that's mostly because being nice to a kid somehow automatically equals pedophile now..
TheMadOnion
I mean I don't particularly like kids that much but in my experience every time I try to do something nice, it gets thrown back at my face.
LordNergal
Creepy as fuck to try to make random kids hug me. Please keep your disease goblin over there, thanks.
Misterdruglicious
I mean statistically kids are way better at handling disease than adultes after a certain age
N0S4A2
those things carry disease, and some of them are even feral.
Thisisheavydoc
“Go give them a hug” are words (said by a parent to a usually snotty nosed child)I fucking hate hearing!
FeChefImgur
Or high five.
BurnieCinders
Low fives, punk kids got a lesson in speed coming.
BlitzBallisBest
Everyone loves high fives!
bourboncanfixthat
It’s the low fives that gave us all trust issues at an early age though
DeadEndRoad
Have you tried not being to slow?
EvilGoats
At my HS grad party I met my grandfather for the first time and I went for a handshake and he went for a hug and I was hella uncomfy
Tekktokk
ugh i'm on board for this i do not want children hugging me. i fist bump my nieces and nephews even.
redamancy
Yes! My nieces and nephews get whatever affection they want. Some hug, some just want fist bumps with explosion sounds at the end.
Misterdruglicious
I grab Them by their feet and spin Them around, Gotta start the Brain damage early
redstaterefugee
Gah! I don’t want to hug some random sticky, smelly child.
Tekktokk
even pre pandemic i was wary of children. my sister's family passed a stomach bug to each other for months; I refused to visit.
FuzzyAdventurer
That sounds more like poor food prep hygiene than a communicable stomach bug but I literally know nothing and can only speculate
Tekktokk
i mean there's no meat in their house, so pretty sure it's just poor handwashing and disgusting little crotch goblins.
redamancy
Nah I have a friend with 4 kids and 3 adults in the house (parents&grandma) No amount of hygiene saves them when one brings home nasty germs
FuzzyAdventurer
I more meant that they kept getting it over months, bit sus really
Misterdruglicious
Mys boss grabbed my shoulder and shook me, holy fuck did that Makes me mad, he also tugged on my coat like IT was a leash i pulled back, boy
Misterdruglicious
To anyone who cartes i told him fuck you today and quit
NowIHaveToChangeThis
Dude, that is NOT okay. My boss grabbed my id badge thinking it was on a retractable cable to show me how to activate something. 1/2
Misterdruglicious
I quit today and told him fuck you
NowIHaveToChangeThis
Glad to hear you got out of that toxic environment. How are you holding up? Having any luck getting into something better?
Misterdruglicious
Yes seasonal work lawn treatment
Misterdruglicious
Got job at glass fabrication comptant m'y dude!
Misterdruglicious
Also anythint really
NowIHaveToChangeThis
Yanked me forward when he did it. He apologized immediately and numerous times since. You need to have a talk with HR if he won't stop.
Misterdruglicious
Working two Man team
Misterdruglicious
Made him so fucking Mad i was Mad too so hé tôt more Mad, long story short I Wanna quit Will quit if i get similar paying job im here for $
Mantias
My boss did that once and i swung back and hit him with my elbow in the nose. Told HR it was a reaction to being choked from childhood
Misterdruglicious
I fucking am a jumpy motherfucker jogger ran Up beaide me i nearly decked him he apologized so did I, but being shook you can fuck off
Misterdruglicious
Box out
Mantias
I have the ass for it
Canofminus
I work in IT & had some manager level asshat swipe at my shoulder to get my attention b/c he was on a call. I hung up his call & told him1/?
Canofminus
the next time gets my attention like that it’s not going going to end well, bitch ran to HR, but they had my back when I told them how 2/?
Canofminus
he “got my attention.” Dude would have his people contact us in IT for his PC problems lol 3/3
TielKiri
Legally speaking that’s battery once he knows he doesn’t have permission to do that. File a complaint, I suppose
Misterdruglicious
Im not that type of dude im the type of dude to accumulate the redflags until indont feel Guilty just fucking off
BurgerSquid
Isn't that workplace harassment?
Misterdruglicious
But I am learning lots hé is an asshole but I feep like Ill meetany assholes un my life, i told him the fuck off a few Times
TielKiri
Yes, and legally battery
Misterdruglicious
I also injures myself he wanted me not to declare IT, i dis cause well fuck him
Misterdruglicious
But the work is 'fun' and straightfoward its more His personnalité the dude is an asshole just bashes peoole for being different
Misterdruglicious
Its the way hé is though its like constant everything has to be His way how hé asked IT, sure is fun Watching him rage when hé fucks up
andachairaswell
We have always had the rule with tickling our kids. If they say stop, even if laughing while saying it, we stop.
iRegretThisUsernameAlready
I didn’t think people like you existed. Thank you.
pilotperson
This is so important, because the laughing is involuntary.
andachairaswell
I'll add that this goes for the kids tickling eachother too. If they are tickling their little sister and she says stop, then they stop
Corrodias
Not torturing your children shouldn't be a stand you have to take, but it is, so thank you for taking it.
Dergen89
They will never pee their pants that way.. You're doing it all wrong!
andachairaswell
Nah I made my brother pee his pants when he was like 13. So..... I got mine.
Rheios
I credit you highly with having the sense of humor everyone downvoting that guy seemingly lacked.
GrumpyGrumbo
Thank you for that. My parents would keep tickling me as a kid cause I was laughing and were oblivious to the fact that it hurts me lol
rayvn
Some of my earliest memories are of panicking while actually laughing because I couldn't get away from the tickling. It was so painful.
EmpressLlamaLegs
Same, plus the core memories of wetting myself/whoever was tickling me because they JUST WOULDNT STOP no matter how much I begged.
Welley
I punched the shit out of my brother when we were kids. I was panicking and when he finally stopped I snapped and broke his face.
invaliduserformat
Thank you. Parents used to tickle me too, now my husband can't just randomly touch me on my legs as I immediately jump up as if tickled.
dracklen
Same :(, I’m extremely sensitive to tickling and it just is hard to let my boyfriend even touch me some places because of that fear.
invaliduserformat
Do you mind if I DM you about this? It's so... tiring...
OngoGoblogianTheArtCollector
why would you want to hug a child, they're gross
TheMadOnion
Exactly!
Soufange
People who love hugging kids never had one sneeze directly onto their eyeball mid-story about the shiny playground rock.
mercemay
Or sneeze into your open mouth then wipe their face on your shoulder then run off giggling while you sit in disgusted shock.
nosebleedcremebrulee
What rock
MaybeAcat
I’m a mom and you’re right.
jimmyhowlett
For a lot of grandparents that's the highlight of their day
MahuAurelius
Grandparents are the single only exception, in my opinion.
BlueDuckPale
Because you want a day off work
Bigbadteddy
Cheers to that my friend
lurkbot3010
Pepperspray usually helps to keep them away
Junktrunkjunkie
I love kids. But I always approach a hug by opening my arms. Then they can just walk into the hug or walk away. Usually though it's my →
Junktrunkjunkie
→ nieces and nephews who hug me whether I'm ready for it or not. Cute little buggers. But Sometimes I remind them to ask first.
Cayvin
Because adults don’t want to and kids are easier to manipulate
AnxiouslySarcastic
Yeah! What with the arms, and snot.
soMuchHappy
You can't hug a baby with nuclear arms
GabrielR19
Because some of them are cute? If you are one of those that kisses and hugs dogs, you can hug a cute child too, moslty if it's YOUR daughter
myoldnamewasntverynice
That's why dogs love kids. Almost always sticky and usually taste like something.
ElbowdeepinElmo
I like dogs a lot and would spend hours petting one but if the dog doesn't want to be pet, I'm not gonna force it
semanticsamsquamtch
Because children are wondrous little minds free of the boundaries of adulthood and can be appreciated for multiple reasons.
silenceofthespam
Expressing appreciation is achievable without physical contact.
semanticsamsquamtch
Yet expressing appreciation with physical contact, is an expression generally more appreciated.
EatYourSoylentGreenAndShutUp
InoffensivePablum
Question: how would your parole officer feel if he knew you had posted that?
monkeyfly
I feel appreciated when people respect my boundaries. I want to normalise individual agency, not people touching me when they want to.
jacblake
If you want to express appreciation with me, I take cash anytime.
AroAce
Says who ?
[deleted]
[deleted]
Munnin41
Maybe for you. I don't appreciate all the hugs and kisses by randos I've seen once or twice in my life
semanticsamsquamtch
Respect. That's not a problem at all. The only problem is when people (not you) have to obstinate about it. Kids are naive and innocent.
InoffensivePablum
Alligators are so perfectly evolved you have to appreciate how they’ve thrived for millions of years with little to no change. Hug ‘em all!
VanillaJester
You jest, but I would more readily hug an alligator than a child.
monkeyfly
I've never been sneezed on by an alligator and for that alone I have more time for them.
semanticsamsquamtch
Children are not alligators.
InoffensivePablum
True. One is ugly, beady-eyed and disgusting and the other is an alligator.
VanillaJester
Some alligators are children.
semanticsamsquamtch
Human children are not alligator children
Inarticulated
areyouelonmusk
Hahaha. Fuck this pedo
bamblebimble
Actually don't do that
BrazilianThunderPanda
Why are they always sticky??
TBJ1118
Because you like them too much, you creep
TheMadOnion
TheMadOnion
Because they eat their food by smushing it all over their faces and hands and thus their body. Maybe 20% actually makes it inside them.
blumpk1npie
Bogeys
Cucumberclouds
And yogurt
NoQuestionMarksInDeclarativeSentences
What the crap? Is that a top gun thing? What the hell am I missing?
blumpk1npie
No that's what we call boogers in the UK