lemonneck
238537
5417
122
Feb 18, 2018 12:45 PM
lemonneck
238537
5417
122
MerkNowitzki41
This gets my shell hard
leonardchurch814
Is that Michaelangelo’s bandana in her breast pocket?
GutsTheStruggler
Varkit777
18? 19?
FitzChevalric
saltemego
Wait... I thought she was teenage as well
leonbloodbane
RobinYiff
TheWhiteRat
Beat me to it.
25nZ5O5
April fools
OfficialJoeBiden
They never wear pants... where is the...
HypnoJack
Inside his shell maybe.
ULTRIXATOM
Source is Caldwell Tanner from collegehumor.com
MKaiser
imonewiththeforceandtheforceiswithme
Is his mask in her pocket?
OpticRocky
Near, considering today is Michaelangelo’s death day
manulofdoom
I had to check that, but, lol, awesome
JakSandrow
Tutant Meenage Neetle Teetles
ManMashine
I chuckled. +1
potentiallyunsafe
God I can't believe she would have sex with a ninja
ManMashine
Should have been Donatello. Seriously, that nerd deserves it x3
vagimite
Why would she choose Mikey?
Frustratedandartistic
I ironically have a cousin named April who is mentally challenged and always draws (mostly nsfw) fanfic of her and the ninja turtles.
noonehasthisoneyet
The Shape of Pizza
ArtOzz
Isnt bestiality a crime in most places?
XeononSolomon
In Canada is okay so long as there is no penetration
bogus1983
Yes, but in most places there aren't sentient humanoid animals. I suspect the laws would change if other species were granted personhood.
SilentHowling
Sentientence is necessary for informed consent.
ManMashine
They are mutants. Not sure if that counts as beastiality.
CandyFlossHair
The bigger question: Who spilt that chocolate milk?
Scubasteve99
In NV, age of consent is 16 lol
ManMashine
Yeah but April is 27.
krillin123499
Teenager in human years or turtle years?
JTechnopotheosis
https://youtu.be/aqW5upASa-8?t=47s
scroll142
He was born in 84 guys... Hes lying about his age.
JTechnopotheosis
Middle-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles
Amauri14z
Don't turtles lives around 200? He pretty much a teen in turtle years.
Bollen2k
His overgrown size, increases his metabolism and the oxidation of his cells. So he'll live shorter
scroll142
Jalopenis
Don't tickle the Illegal pickle!
dreamstamp
Mxlespxles
ChairDeity
getotterhere
lurkerprof
Don't split the illegal slit.
lurkerturnedberserker
Jesus
AlmostCertainlyNotPickles
Hi I'm Pickles
ZuIthar
Jalopenis
Doubt.
WhatInTheSamhillisaPuma
Username doesn't check out...
NarratesTheDarkerStory
I'll believe it. I mean, you throw in "Almost" it makes everything a wild card!
dickable
Jalopenis
getotterhere
Vercci
Woah you can see the insides of that pickle taco.
c0nfusi0nbear
She's a girl I'm pretty sure she'll get away with it
SkeletonsNeedLoveToo
nice
TrueDankMemeLord
Also they don't really apply age of consent when you're caught fucking a turtle.
HEXADECIMAL
Almost always unless she is a teacher or other prof.
Thanossaves
McPopplers
stavesacre
No, I think it's OK to be close minded about having sex with a turtle. At least, they were at the conservatory...
XeononSolomon
So vanilla
LtKifKroker
I'm sorry, do you not recognize Turtle-kin as a legitimate race? god, so closed minded
Justineer
Pretty sure turtles don't have dicks. So in other words, there would be enough scissoring to make Shredder cringe
JTechnopotheosis
https://youtu.be/aqW5upASa-8?t=57s
zoomer296
They do. Half the length of their body.
w0ntoan
You're in for a nice surprise.
ProfessorMatt
You saw this, right?
idoindeedhavegenitals
Justineer
No, I hadn't. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
ProfessorMatt
Sometimes that which is seen, cannot be unseen.
ProfessorMatt
(Although it DOES explain why April is so pleased, in that first frame...)
TheDarkNerd
Oh, turtles most certainly do have dicks. Male ones, at least. A while back, turtle sex was making the front page.
coinlaundry
Corkscrew dick... Wait, was that ducks?
TheDarkNerd
That was ducks. Turtles are flared at the tip.
CelticmoonKate
And WILL attempt sex with your shoe. At least my box turtle did.
ZomWataar
Pigs have weird ones, too
Rifneno
1-I read a lot about animals, and the duck thing truly fascinates me. It's the only instance I've ever seen of an animal evolving defenses
Rifneno
3-over a mate (in humans, men's skulls are designed to take punches better, likely for this reason). But this duck thing is just next level
Rifneno
2-and counterdefenses against the other sex of its own gender. You may rarely see males of a species make some minor defenses for fighting
apexwarrior
I have a version of “the gif” with ninja turtles buried in my favorites I’m saving for my last day on Imgur.
AlexanderThe5th
WowMuchFuni
Mate, ya gotta send that to me
WillJeSuis
Just post it and take your glory and punishment! Nothing can be gained without losing something in return!
apexwarrior
Naw. Just getting over a 24 hour ban for a cartoon.
AggresiveSquinter
votfgz
The one with the pizza?
oulixeus
Pm
Voidhawk42
Hit me up bro
Tkeleth
Please pm me that - my wife has a thing for the ninja turtles and she will love it. ...And/or fap.
MobiusOneOneEight
Wait, posting "the gif" gets you a full ban on your account?
funkychimp9001
Kamasu0Tra
TheLateKnight
Thanks doc
IStillGiveOutDickPics
protip. you can go to someones favorites by typing in /favorites after their profile. https://imgur.com/user/ikarus222/favorites
apexwarrior
True
whattasteslikepurple
Looked through them and couldn't find it.
MrSpeedycola
His favorites surely are something
haveanothergif
Doesn't that only show favourites in the gallery?
IStillGiveOutDickPics
it shouldn't. it should show everything.
haveanothergif
It looks to me like they changed it to gallery favourites with the UI update.
IStillGiveOutDickPics
well thats fucking lame.
changedusernamecosmykiddiscoveredmyrudeone
When your only folder is titled "weird shit"
zoomer296
Honestly, with that many it's easier to ask. Still not a waste of time though, their favorites are a gold mine.
apexwarrior
If you want it pm me and I’ll send it to you
thegryffyn
I have to see this too
IGoByMeme
I gotta see this shit
DostoevskyDisciple
damn it i want to see it 2
sergio32
Welp I'm curious
TheDudeThatIsMo
.
Cernunnos94
Let me see
charlieschocolatefactory
Afternoon me pls ikarus ;)
KernalMustard
Dude cmon
SadAndFat
You have piqued my disgusted interest
SnappleCactus
I gotta see this
boxset
Sure. Me too please.
BookieeWookiee
Alright now I'm curious too
Flibittyflobitty
I'm in for a ride.
reeseyKing
Please send it to me. I need to see this.
imjustalurkerdontmindme
The desire to see this is strong, confusing and strong.
Cestiles
This sounds appalling. I must see it
FirewithIce
Send it to me too
smpat04
Me too please!
MajesticUnicorn420
Also me please
DenDen11
I’d also like to receive it????
nightof11bangbangs
Insert clevet gif here
nightof11bangbangs
*clever fuck...
PileOfSnakes
me too thanks
EastPenguin436
Pm me
idkalan
I'm sickened......yet intrigued
MorrighanWolf
Please?
AaronMcNutt
I gotta know now. Send it my way too
GreeneyedDevil013
Definitely got my attention...send it man
Jmoland126
Count me in
NarratesTheDarkerStory
Please pm me. I may hate myself for looking, but I'd hate myself more for being a coward.
orangearcadi
I gotta see it too
UsernameNeededPleaseProvide
I want to see it pls
DarkArrow096
Let us see
PlumpPotato
Want to see please!
MaxD23
PM me
Radix865
Tigerswillripyouapart
Pm it to me
MetroidNinja
.
MNItalian
I'll get on this band wagon, send it my way too please.
RazuLexa
You have a lot of people to pm. Including me, if it isn't too much trouble
66plus3
Kayleavi
I'll take a pm
BozhidarVitanski
.
PandraPierva
Oh god I'm going toregret this request
SciFiSpock
Pm please, this I have to see
TargaryenLoyalist
zeGiraffeAthlete
I need to see it
SwissArmyFuckboy
Looks like imma hop on this train. Hit me
likeimfromcorklike
Please send it on
noob4life83
I'm probably gonna hate myself after but me too
beingbadisgoodforyou
.
allanjgamer
Lemme slide in there as well
lurkinginpublic
I would like to receive said gif please
JustALurkerOnMyPhone
Cant be that bad
DreadJr
Me too
BullfrogStormcroak
Fuck it, I wanna see.
NicomoCosca
*sigh* *unzips* I am ready
MetroidNinja
Pm pls
LilSanta
Too curious to pass up
ShockSnoops
Yo, may I see it? Lol
Voltair
Welp, now I have to know.
UncleTopher
I'll bite
drame
Gimme
themotobeard3000
I have to see it
pewpewmuricahh
curious
mahgaminshit
PM it to me please.
sparklefox09
Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back to life.
Fleaofpain
Sigh. Send it.
ImThePrincessInTheOtherCastle
Me to pls!
EdgarWrong
My interest has peaked.
omnifariousgreyt
Send it my way ma dude
Allanonshea1
Pm
Allanonshea1
I gotta see that
VeganFeministFlatEarther
I need this
CinnamonBunny
Well he could be 18 or 19.
TakeItEasyPolicy
Or 13
kmikl
Well, they were teenagers in the 80's, so they'd be well of-age today.
ProxyPlayerHD
sex is generally legal at 16. atleast las ttime i checked
Bacxaber
Since turtles live very long lives, I assumed their age was "teenager for a turtle", not "teenager for a human".
JTechnopotheosis
he's been a teenager for over 30 years now
BuffyBaggins
Barf!
Rifneno
I was a huge fan when I was a kid. IDK about current versions, but back then, they were all 16 except Leo at 17.
downvotemetooblivionplease
See if that defense holds up in court.
Inappr0priate
Or 12
YouSeemLikeAVeryCleverPerson
That's what the suspect always says
SithElephant
Interviewed a lot of turtlefuckers then?
tibris
according to the card that came with the original figure, Mike was the youngest of the group at 14, Leo was 16, the others were 15
TrueDankMemeLord
Age of consent doesn't apply to turtles, so she can fuck all the turtles she wants
Wankathon
This is America pal, he can only buy guns at that age, not have sex!
TheGreatWizpoo
Thats "young adult" if i remember what they said at school.... and if so. Then no they would say teen if he was 18 or 19
CinnamonBunny
Teen = 13-19
NotIrony
teenagers are inbetween the ages of 12 and 19. If you are 19 you are a young adult and teenager, depending on who pays rent.....
NotIrony
13 and 19*
TheGreatWizpoo
Lol true
GingerLaird
Bigger question; Is Master Splinter okay with it? He's their only guardian.
NarratesTheDarkerStory
He's a rat, a disease filled vermin that lives in a sewer and probably eats garbage! But no, he has strong moral objections against it.
pocketpython
In this series (the 80s) - He's 16. Off to jail April! -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_the_United_States#New_York
GingerLaird
Isn't there a stipulation that allows for this, as long as the parent/guardian gives consent?
pocketpython
More relates to Marriage, but can you see Splinter agreeing to this? Plus April's at least Mid-Twenties - Class B Misdemeanour - but IANAL
GingerLaird
You forget that animals hold sex at a different value than humans do.
pocketpython
In this version, Splinter was Human and Shredders love rival back in Japan. He'd be coming at this with 70's Japanese conservative values.
CinnamonBunny
So by now he is around 50
CyborgScribe
Yeah he has to be a lot older by. Ow
CyborgScribe
now*
skooterLaughin
Turtles love longer than humans, so 18 in turtle years write be about 8 in human years.
JuliaFree
But are they teenagers in turtle years or in human years?
MMAgCh
“Me love you long time.” – The turtle, apparently.
JTechnopotheosis
https://youtu.be/aqW5upASa-8?t=47s
JunWasHere
1. You can't compare the mutant turtles to normal turtles. 2. If you want to get technical, we have to look at their brain chemistry.
Anrock
Than what about people born on leap year?
vorodar
They rarely make it to 25.
Lamplord
I dont know, ive only ever seen one turtle having sex, but it didnt love for long.
Sauroctonus
I bot want to know and hope to never find out
AlexisActually
Turtle sex is weird. Just keep it at that and don't ruin your innocent mind.
skooterLaughin
Yeah, stupid typo...
Fractallergy
And 16-17 in half of US states, and 16 in all of Canada
Virunuss
Im pretty sure its only under 18 in like 2 US states.
Fractallergy
I actually checked before posting, feel free to Google it of course
BritainsNuttiestGuy
16 in UK
TheYoungJaywalker
15 in Poland.
PyllyNalleMissionaries
And any age in some cases in Finland
JustinTrudeausHair
Wait, I thought our age of consent was 14!? Oh shit...
ImgurCouncilOfLlamas
He lives in NY.
DangerousNoodle
18 in Florida.
Darkspire
12 in Mississippi
lelevup
14 in Italy
neotheIcecream
Can confirm, from the Jersey of the US: new Jersey
cosonfused
Bestiality is legal in 8 states, so...
bronypokey6918
14+ in certain parts of japan
azrailthedeathangel
8 in the vatican
baconman87
16 in canada only applies if shes 14-21. Only 5 years up at 16.
sheepprince
Source please
[deleted]
[deleted]
sheepprince
I also live in canada and I have looked up the laws and can’t find this anywhere
nsdev
It's 5 years for 14-15, 2 years for 12-13, any age for 16+.
[deleted]
[deleted]
nsdev
http://www.justice.gc.ca/eng/rp-pr/other-autre/clp/faq.html
nolittleplans
Well there are more rules than that such as the amount of years between the person.
Myowngrampa
Umm if you're younger than 16 then other rules come into play. Otherwise it's not statutory in Canada...
nolittleplans
Sorry northern brother i meant USA
RoseTheSpecialEdTeacher
I think he was talking US. Many states say 16 is okay, but only within certain age limits. Florida, for instance, is 16-24, as I recall.
TheSauceGuy
15 in Sweden
TheMortiestMortyfromC137
How fascinating
MehMyeh
13 in Spain!
haveanothergif
https://www.ageofconsent.net/world/nigeria
insegrevious
Well, gotta get it in before you die at 19
LetumComplexo
14 in Germany. It’s the Alabama of Europe.
sulfuratus
Common misconception. People over 18 can't have sex with people under 16 here.
LetumComplexo
Oh good lord the Germans who responded to me. It’s an Archer quote, calm tf down.
Mulackokrieger
No. It‘s legal to have sex in generell at the age of 14. So if you find to 13 year olds doing it you can literally sue them. But you 1/2
madethistocommenttomakesure
+1 für "in generell"
Mulackokrieger
can‘t fuck 14 year old if you are 18 and older 2/2
ObscuraNox
And 14 in Germany.
idontenglishsorry
Nice! On an unrelated topic do you know immigration policies on Germany?
hogglebass
What, are you the Alabama of Europe?
jkf1911
In many ways, yes.
mugman1
TKBarbus
bobon123
Most of Europe is 14... Italy, France and Spain for sure (with limitations).
franzzegerman
You can have sex when 14, but only with people your age or close to your age.
wam3483
Holy crap that's young.
JollyRancherDildo
Its actually okay as long as the other one isnt over 21. If you are 22 or older a court will decide if you have taken advantage of the other
cinsoniTe
You can have also have sex with under 14 because you are non-accountable for it. § 19 StGB.
lonelylincolnshiresausage
And 4 in saudi
Ambeam
I that's true I mean... why even bother restricting? Why is 4 better than 3 if you see what I mean
oStaiko
Well, its not true for saudi. The youngest I've ever heard of was 13 (odd parts of japan), but despite being legal, its not practiced.
CaptainWolfsburg
If there ain't no grass on the field, turn it over and play in the mud.
wittyusername456
I am stealing that shit
thislooksfun
ChairDeity
Fleaofpain
Gayforbae
Butt stuff
IIRocks
SDtrashpanda
Please tell me thats a joke
Procrasturbating
It's a dark joke in reference to the poor 4 year old girl who was raped and murdered.
AThreeFootTallChocolateMooseWithFudgeEyes
it's a joke. They don't have AoC, as long as they are both married. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_Asia#Saudi_Arabia
lonelylincolnshiresausage
I mean, I don't live there, but I sure hope not.
d0n7100k47myf4ve5
It's a joke. (I don't actually know, just responding)
pancreas
girls as young as 8 are sold into marriage and subsequently raped