spencerrre
195217
8021
182
Jun 29, 2018 6:57 PM
spencerrre
195217
8021
182
izoli413365
Thats such a weird thing to get mad about. How dare you not set these arbitrary backround photos as us.
mycatToastwasafatasshole
That's a stupid freaking battle your wife picked.
criablelurst
Who gives a shit what your background is? I don't have my kids as a background, why would your wife get mad about that? 'Cause she's crazy?
bringbakfirefly
Personally I think it's lame to use family photos as a background. I prefer random scenic backgrounds.
CidColetti
I respect this.
ambervalentine
With a wife like that I bet you fap a lot
shootsewvintage
My husband doesn't either but one of his mentors (an assigned job, not by choice) went down for child porn and it makes one paranoid.
Jaqdakloun
Can you please tell MY wife this ?? She thinks it's a made up, bullshit excuse.
Spleadal
Appropriate meme usage +1
jcarmona
Why get mad because of that though?makes no sense to me.
insertclevertitlehere
Having a picture of my daughter as the lock screen is one of the main reason I won’t look at porn on my phone.
hismotherwasamudder
Every women is someone's little girl
billfrank2000
I actually had a friend tell me his wife made him put his childs picture on computer to prevent him from looking at porn.
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
That’s really sad...
billfrank2000
If thats youre penis.
mchitch
Ha! Amazing, love it. And I support your decision.
interlorn
This is responsible porning.
AstralTrinity
If you have a wife, why do you fap?
AidanHunterCZ
Why not?
randomgibberish
Because masturbation and sex are two different things, and both are part of a healthy sex life
krazyokami
because it's better to fap to porn of things your partner won't do than go out and cheat I suppose. Or its nice to watch, sometimes.
Ivain
Almost no couple ever has a perfectly matched sex drive. So sometimes you just gotta slap back them hormones without bothering your partner.
Corrodias
Women do not exist solely to serve men fresh sex on demand. Sometimes they like to do other things with their time.
ThaxAttack
I think this might be one for an actual therapist, like for real, I would encourage you to find a professional to speak with, they’re great
BulletKiss
I never understood why porn was needed. Does the sex really die off that much after marriage?
Corrodias
Porn is never "needed". Neither is sex. All you "need" is potatoes, water, and fresh air. That doesn't make porn and nice food bad things.
ferventailurophile
Not necessarily. Porn isn't about partners. For me the things I want to see are not what I want to do in real life.
jadanks
For a lot of guys, it’s just maintenance. You can’t always be on top of each other when you need it. It’s got to come out somehow.
RikusKhan
Imagine the very best lunch you ever had!!! Now, only eat it the rest of your life.
randomgibberish
Because sex and porn are different things
GoofyAsDuck
Hahaha you fucker
bigmeaniepants
Put an actual photo in your wallet. First, it should help with this. Second, I've read it increases the odds of lost wallets being returned.
Metallica93
"Man. I feel just terrible for" [pockets cash] "taking this guy's wallet", lol.
PTMdragon
Change your wallpaper and fuck your wife
BastardMan1977
You've obviously never been married or you would know better
MAN9000
Some of our wives are unavailable for fucking most of the time.
ratchedRDH
Husbands too.
MrStrawberry209
As your wife, she should know this.
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
Why? My husband doesn’t know every time I Ménage à moi & I don’t need to know every time he does...
randomgibberish
I don't think they're suggesting OP check in with his wife every time he wants a lil solo action, more that he explain his phone logic
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
No, I realize this, but it’s just sad when I see marriages where one has to “allow” the other to do things or they have be joined at the hip
randomgibberish
Oh absolutely. Not healthy at all. Marriage is a partnership between two individuals not a fusion into one giant mutant "married" brain
121octopuses
Then just make the background a pic of your wife??
RikusKhan
Which is why he is fapping!
halfwindsor
I worked with a guy who had a photo of his Thai bride as his iPad wallpaper. It was like watching him angrily poke her in the face all day.
t33kay
tell her that
LeafWrangler
Sounds like he’d get yelled at for watching porn.
Corrodias
Then I pity the children growing up with parents in a dysfunctional relationship.
stripedpajamasquid
Yeah, if she's the type to get mad over this, she's probably the type to take the fact that he watches porn as some kind of personal insult.
BastardMan1977
Now this is a confession.
Slashinhobo
Meh it was when i first saw it a couple yrs back.
somekindafuckingidiot
not really. its just a completely normal observation. whats even being confessed, that he is a normal person who isnt weird?
ajpimpsalll
Exactly. "I watch porn and don't want to look at my kid the instant after nutting." Ok... welcome to the 99% bro. """edgy"""
estenoestaocupado
usernamepolice
Relax
estenoestaocupado
BuddyTheAlion
I live that this comment got like 200 more upvotes than the poster.
BuddyTheAlion
I stand corrected.
KageroShijima
He lives!!!
BuddyTheAlion
Auto correct can be a b-word.
DadBodThor
Now this.... is pod racing
DrPhillipMahmoufWifarts
Now THIS is SHITPOSTING!
KanzenChowa
maximsk
This is tense!
Everythingisalie841
Maybe u should quit watching porn
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
I hate judgmental, self righteous people telling strangers how to live & what to do; maybe look in the mirror & work on your own life...
Everythingisalie841
Your just as bad look at your own comment.
FloatingOnACloudOfTitties
At least I can spell...
Everythingisalie841
Omg please stop that hurts so much
Corrodias
It's just advice to help with a problem. It's clearly bad advice, but that's all it is.
QuietlyJudgingYou
i don't see the problem. i look at your kids after fapping and i feel fine.
SomeAustralianGuyThatLovesCatsAndBeer
I also choose this guys kids.
OddlyParanoid
ImAFoxButNotReally
Pedobear is that you?
Cycress
burningbear37
If that ain't the realest thing I've seen all day.
SuperSaiyanSasquatch
TheFoxhounded
Seen?!
HeadOfProfessorDowell
He sure as hell didn't hear it.
NotABench
Hear what?
HeadOfProfessorDowell
The realest thing he's encountered all day.
edey
Yes i got him to 666
burningbear37
PokoOnoandtheJamJams
Is that code for.cumming
Valkor
soopersic
Ever get a call from your mom during?
WannaSeeMy
Have you ever talked to your mom in the other room while fapping?
bethesdaCEO
And then you ask yourself why you actually answered.
TailBiter
Or a text? Watching some action then *ping* hi honey I love you!
dizzyturtle
Or a Facebook notification.
fbutt09
...and you keep fapping, like a true champ
NotACop1515IsMyAgeNotACop
You ever have your mom call you to get the groceries out the car during?
SincerelyHated
Grandma
AmActuallyACat
It seems like my me time is everyone else's "call Melissa" time
downvoteacct
It’s like she knows.
HenryLongfellowIII
Like when the girl won't stop with her .. distractions.
Gayforbae
No less than 5 times....
teardropivyyearofthetiger
Every get a text from your father while you are sexting your “Daddy” at midnight? That shits real.
TomHaywood95
My girlfriend was in the US (I was in UK) a few months ago. A friend called me 3 times in the middle of skype sex asking for McDonalds. Rage
MyDogIsSmarterThanYourHonorsStudent
Calls 3x asking for McDonalds? They should've known they weren't getting it from you after the first call.
PorneliusHubertII
I have. Instant killer
Cussingcloud
No just walked in. I was checking for "ticks".
battlepants
Just gotta downshift to 2nd gear and mute the sound, but possible to keep rollin
Galvanax
Yes
CotterPyke
i can tell you from experience, that phone is just gonna fucking ring.
ChristianJames003
My Fap-cave is typicallly the bathroom (only room with a lock on the door) when there is someone waiting outside and you are mid fap...
ChristianJames003
And they just think you are pooping and just try to start an convo and you just have to reply with grunts to get them to leave
Fahargo
Jesus from my grandma, oh I'm praying you recover quickly from your surgery. She says as i test the pipes while recovering from surgery 1/2
Fahargo
removing a tumor form my nutsack
degenerator
"Mom! I was just thinking about you."
Corbinator
OP's mom
Dartacus
Father in law.
unholyfuckness
Me too! Epic.
IamJustinSane
No, because she’s usually live on the cam show I’m watching.
thegricemiceter
sunny lane?
SirLucifer616
PlantFarts
Freud would be proud
primarian
Same with my dog
eastbayrae
Fuck man, you could have held back about 17%.
MontequillaTheLastofTheMeheecans
Dad walked in on me but insisted on finishing his conversation while the video still played.
BeryBigBongBoi
LOL WTF, tell me more please
MontequillaTheLastofTheMeheecans
What's there left to say. I was indulging in a pretty good video by one of my favorites, brandi love. Then my dad just kind of walked 1/
MontequillaTheLastofTheMeheecans
In while she was straddling this man like the champ she is and I couldn't / didn't have time to pause or mute and I'm still trying 2/
MontequillaTheLastofTheMeheecans
To find a way to turn it off all the while he is asking me about feeding the dogs and so on all the while the video is still playing.
hippybobby
No, but several times I’ve walked in on my roommate while I was masturbating
Uhohjim
Ive done that... super embarrassing but you have to keep eye contact otherwise the terrorists win
dobbythehouseelf
JoeTheWhite
You were walking through the door whilst masturbating???
hippybobby
You don’t?
FredPiru
Yeah thats the joke.
whatdoesdonkeylike
I almost spat my coffee out
hippybobby
I prefer someone who swallows, vs spot
chatterling
Are we ok with the fact she even got mad at this? Like damn y'all are both there for the kids now let a guy have his own screen background
LittleWinkyMoon
Maybe they aren’t his biological kids and she has issues. i guess either way she has issues.Married people pick dumb shit to get angry over.
HitlersArtCritic
Yeah, I feel like its a bit tacky. You don't need your family everywhere you can. And its a bit disrespectful to force visual changes.
monkeyslotsofthem
@OP needs to set porn on wife's wallpapers to show dominance, and when she notices, open a gallery of the family to look at
DropDeadFread
Bbc preferably. Offensively big.
DrPhillipMahmoufWifarts
Amen.
bringbakfirefly
It's no surprise that some people just suck.
MightyMayhem
Word. It's your life; set boundaries, and make your own choices.
GuardsmanMiku
wallpapers should be art of some kind, commision a painting of them in some kinda badass/cool setting and i'll consider it
DW223
Haha I never have pics of my hubbie and kids as a background. I always have nature pics. Currently a pic of a beach I recently visited.
IDidItForTheSlunk
Right? Photos of people never make good backgrounds.
Klingon00
Like a form of virtue signaling.
kamehameahahahaha
Agreed. If you want Avatar backgrounds, you can have Avatar backgrounds. do what you wanna
kamehameahahahaha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_AOwrXev60
stripedpajamasquid
That was the first thing I thought too. Having kids doesn't mean you stop having all other interests in life.
TheLetterKay
Mom here. No background of my kids. It's outer space. Space has never peed on me, drawn on my walls, destroyed my electronics etc.
crispygrapes
Haha same - but mine is an awesome photo of the northern lights.
[deleted]
[deleted]
MrSaturday
what's wrong with looking at porn?
[deleted]
[deleted]
flamingling
Oh man, you have a very altered perspective of reality in a relationship.
[deleted]
[deleted]
pezlex
There is nothing wrong with self pleasure dude. A person doesn't have to do everything with their SO every time they want to do something. 1
[deleted]
[deleted]
pezlex
It's nice to be an individual and not depend on others for everything, including sexual gratification.
MeowMachine12
Happily married or committed people can still look at porn. And often do
eveonroad
Sometimes together!
ILikeCuteGifsAndICannotLie
I’m a mom and have no wallpapers of my kid. They don’t have to be everywhere.
DownVoteVerifier
I knew you didn't love me! You're a monster mum! - kid probably
chatterling
sillybananas
my 25-year-old brother has been my mom's phone wallpaper for awhile, but he just got ousted by the dog.
amoeba15
I'd rather have a framed picture of my daughter next to the computer than as a desktop background covered up with icons and folders.
TerriMessy
My kids are my wallpapers but that's a little bit cause I heard a phone is more likely to be returned if a baby photo is visible
ILikeCuteGifsAndICannotLie
Shit, mine is a 17 year old fuckboi look alike. Ain't nobody gonna return him to me. lol
TerriMessy
Ahaha. Drag out the cute baby photos. Or maybe use a cute dog pic
roosterofdoom2112
My daughter puta picture of herself on my grandson's tablet. He brought it to me and asked me to change it because he doesn't like it. 1/2
bananafoen
Not nice to call her puta.
roosterofdoom2112
Well, not intentional but ....
lollipopPunch
I laughed
roosterofdoom2112
I changed it to Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. He and I are both happier now. 2/2
roosterofdoom2112
He's three years old by the way.
LadyWidebottom
I am one of the only people in my office who doesn't have photos or wallpapers of my kids at work.
TheLetterKay
My husband does keep pictures of his kids on his work computer. He has me email him the pictures he likes.
MakeMeLaughOrFuckOff
I don't have pictures of any family at work. I know what they look like.
LadyWidebottom
ILikeCuteGifsAndICannotLie
I have none at work either. We got pictures done once and I had that for a while but I like my travel photos. I see their faces at home.
rainyrivers
I do right now but only because I took a fucking adorable pic of her eating a popsicle and I want to show everyone and I'm too lazy to open
TheLetterKay
I do have a cute pic set as a gallery button on one of my home screen pages. Still takes up less than half of the screen.
rainyrivers
Up my gallery every time
thatguy1943
I thought you weren't going to finish that sentence. I was gonna do the same and say, "And you're also too lazy to finish your"
rainyrivers
Lol. I get too lazy to do the 1/2 sometimes as well.
rainyrivers
Basically I'm a lazy person
ILikeCuteGifsAndICannotLie
If I ever do have one it stays forever because I'm too lazy to change it.
cutepiku
Yeah, mine has been my cat since I got my phone. She passed away two years ago and I ain't changing now.
theshinobi23
If you ever do have one, hope they move out when they become adults.
rainyrivers
Yup it stays for months until I'm like oh I'll make this a wallpaper
TraitorousTrump3
My wife is a helicopter mom. Everything everywhere has pics of them.
crispygrapes
Booo
TraitorousTrump3
Its our monthly argument. No, we do NOT need more pictures on the wall, mantle, table, desk, and shelves.
crispygrapes
Oh no! That sucks man.. what if you found something she was interested in, other than the kids? Find some nice photos and put those up.