ycelpt
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We dated a while, her depression and personal issues were a major hurdle in our relationship. I helped her battle them and went through my own issues. In helping her overcome her depression, I entered my own. She broke up with me partly due to my depression and her inability to commit. I found out that was just a lie as she quickly entered a relationship with one of our mutual friends.
My other friends were busy at the time and I had no one to turn to. The anger pushed me to go to the gym as it was the only release I could find. Sport used to be a big part of my life but my depression has drained my energy and prevented me from doing anything for the majority of the last year. The anger gave me enough motivation to overcome the tiredness.
I have now corrected my diet, hit the gym several times and I am showing my depression who is the boss. She told me I would find someone to make me happy and she was right. I found myself.
Obligatory FP edit: I am overwhelmed by all the support. It is a hard time and likely everyone will experience something similar or know someone close who does. The important thing to take away from this post is those last two lines. Friends and family can help you, but in finding yourself, accepting your flaws, flaunting your assets and accepting who you are. That's where happiness lies. I know the usual ending to an FP edit is to request nudes. Instead I'm going to set you a challenge. If you have a friend with depression, even if you haven't spoken in a while. Send them a message. Tell them your there to listen. Help each other. End the stigma of depression.
Amazingamandaaaaa
I'm glad you did something healthy for you @op, when I'm depressed I just eat and hide myself in my room.
JeremyBeadlesStrongerHand
He’s clearly no true friend of yours.
HippDeutschMan
Anger is a fucking great motivator! Trust me!
CarnivorousSnuffleupagus
This may get downvoted to oblivion, but there are always two sides to every story.
HeirElfSquire
Just make sure your not swapping depression for avoidance...my knee, shoulder and blown disc in my back were my reminders.
BeaverCleaver10k
Good job OP
Thatguythatknowsbetter
Nice one, they're exes for a reason. I've always been at my fittest after breakups.
ilovecosmetics
That type of gym motivation is the best. Sorry for your troubles. Good luck to you.
HeyLookImOnTV
Anger is probably the most underrated feeling out there.
AllTheBestNamesWereTaken
"Good...Good...Use your aggressive feeling @OP Let the hate flow through you...
tht1goalie
Now fuck one of her hot friends to show her hot much better than her you are
Jackodude666
Similiar thing here mate, gotta let the anger out
WellAckchually
Good for you. I've tried many things to fight depression, and nothing works like a healthy dose of "fuck you"
AbsoluteFuckingWaffle
"I found myself." This has given me an idea for a Where's Wally movie where he comes to terms with himself.
QuMark
Motivation is great, and if this can help better yourself, then be grateful for it. Thank them for making you a better you. Be awesome.
GothRainbowPotato
You sound like a sunshine OP, so inspiring! have a point +1
MoonieDutchie
Good for you, move on and get healthy
Donnanobleslonglostdoppleganger
Beautiful beginnings are sometimes disguised as painful endings. Cliche', I know, but still accurate. Keep it up.
SexyPalpatine
Yes let the hate floq trough you
stephanovich
Ex-friend*
MadMupp
Same thing happened to me years ago. I just thought screw them. And moved on instantly... Needless to say without attention they 1/
MadMupp
Quickly broke up. She saying I can show my anger or sadness its fine. And he even asked me to punch him for what he did. I refused both
MadMupp
They never spoke again and ive never spoke to either since... I still have no idea why they seemed to want drama of that kind
RJ123abc
Remember.. in the end you came out on top
addi09
Another addition to the dark side. Let the anger flow through you. Let it change and rebuild you. Use it to crush your enemies.
EvilMrHyde
https://imgur.com/DGkWOiz
PorcNoStar
Anger can be a very powerful motivator
saryos
Rage is useful
Myowngrampa
This is awesome! A) I'm always here to talk if you feel like you don't have anyone to talk to B) until this post I never realized why I stop
Myowngrampa
Stopped sports so suddenly... I quit my rugby team (coach was awful that part honestly was him) but he was there 1 year and I never went bac
ycelpt
The offer of help is appreciated. It's the people like you who make a difference. Thanks
Myowngrampa
Now I have realized and taken steps toward it and am playing again next season (recreationally) but thanks :)
bigppp
Never expected to see something like this but it's exactly what I've went through in the past month... High five, the bitch ain't worth it!
stinkymagoo4you
Same
HOWBOI
Almost the same thing to me too, fuck feelings
Silasaloves
Same here. BF of two years left me for a mutual friend/roommate. Spent two months in emotional torture having to see it everyday.
Silasaloves
She turned on me so quick after too. Have been battling the depression all year. :(
glamdringwielder
Similar thing here. Ex bf played with my heart for long and his new bf was the friend I used to talk about my feelings for my ex.
rabbiebabbie
Ouch. Makes you wonder if they stabbed you in the back to get with that person :\
xheroth
Now fuck yourself and keep eye contact to establish dominance.
brown357
myheartisstarkmyspiritistargaryen
boredomboredomboredom
Is that live from trumps bedroom?
EvilMrHyde
your friend is clearly a cunt
ImDreamingofaShiteChristmas
Precisely
rapidge
Sounds to me like OP needs better friends overall.
JoeTheMadScientist
TheBlackKaiser
A proper Cunt not a cheeky Cunt.
TimeToCheerioYourNutWithHoney
More so than the cunt who lied to be with the cunt.
renotoaster
Cunt how? It's not like OP has any "right" to her as a person. It's not fun, but I doubt the friend "stole" her. She is not property.
Silasaloves
I don't think anyone uses that term of phrase with the intention of claiming someone as literal property. But people typically expect (1/2)
Silasaloves
Some respect for a relationship by not doing something as inconsiderate as crossing such a boundary. In that sense, she's a cunt.
renotoaster
She, yeah, if she lied and stuff. We don't know about the fried other than he is "a common friend" so hard to pass any judgment on him.
Aksuuuh
Hate to be the party pooper but we only heard @op's side of this story. I know a guy who's been that 'friend' in this situation. 1/2
Aksuuuh
2/2 The ex-boyfriend with depression had been abusing the shit out of her. I'm sure op is legit but there's always 2 sides to this.
Fireguy97
Most times, three sides. Your side, my side, and what really happened.
UserNamesAreForSquares
I too have been in a similar situation. Only the “abuse” was a fabrication of the girl to justify her wrongdoings.
Fireguy97
My ex did the same thing. Her friends and I were the only ones that saw it. My ex and her family saw me as evil, but were obviously biased.
SovereignPhantasmia
Genuine question, if two of your friends date and it doesn't work out, is it okay to date one of them?
Naiquil
I think so, if the factors are right. If it was a mutual split, go for it. If she left him to date you, maybe wait a while so he 1/2
Naiquil
Doesn't think she was cheating with you. Or just talk to friend first so it doesn't feel like you went behind his back
SovereignPhantasmia
Yea, I mean if something happens I'll probably just ask first. I really care about both of their feelings and I want to respect that.
AncientSeraph
Very much depends on the group. In theory you only should of all parties agree, but tbh you can't easily stop having feelings for someone.
AncientSeraph
It can quickly become a shit situation, where one of three feels duped, and always rightly so. Try to avoid it if possible, and if not, take
AncientSeraph
eachother into account. I'm in a social environment where it happens now and then, can't really blame anyone usually.
glamdringwielder
it depends. It can be extremely heartbreaking
SovereignPhantasmia
This is my concern because she has had terrible luck and he's a decent guy. I just found out I liked him after they started seeing eachother
Sadacchi
Wait you ask if its ok after they break up. You make it sound like you're asking if you should ask to date him while they're together still
SovereignPhantasmia
I am not going to do that. I just was considering the possibility cause if they break up because I'm a bad person. Tbh I just don't want
efraimsdaughter
To offer another perspective: I'd say go for it. Life is too short to not try. Your friend may be hurt and may hate you but frankly she 1/2
Sadacchi
How about no? Those friends are still dating, you're saying it's ok to break two ppl up to date one because " just go for it, life's short "
efraimsdaughter
Has no right to hold onto someone after breakup
vixn
I have a stupid question. How does one start going to the gym with no knowledge of the equipment? My social anxiety always stops me.
insolentcorpse
Ive been members of gyms that will give you a free or discounted training sessions. Never hurts to ask about one.
jsmi813
Join a class (eg. Yoga or a weights class) and if you feel anxious head to the back of the room until you get more confident!
rabbiebabbie
Start with something simple. A lot of machines have instructions on them or you can ask people. Nobody will ever tease you for wanting help.
vixn
Also, good on you @op. It is but just a chapter now. There are better women (I promise)
glamdringwielder
If it's social anxiety your issue I believe there are moments and days when gyms are almost wmpty
vixn
That’s helpful. I’d love a 24 hour gym. I’d get up at 2am if no one was there
ycelpt
Try an app called Fit well. Basically, you download a workout and it literally shows you what to do and you copy the video as it plays.
iAmConno
Dot
vixn
I downloaded it, I hope it’s worth it. I just need to say fuck it and do it. If you can, I can, right? Thank you
ycelpt
And if you want any help just ask. Keep going and push yourself. Things will go wrong but you will never fail as long as you keep trying.
howaboutthisonethen
Just go. You know how to ride a bike? Start there, get comfortable, expand ever so slowly
automaticallymoderated
This. Don’t feel pressured to use any equipment. Just getting up and getting in there is improving your life.
vixn
Don’t some gyms offer free counseling for the equipment? If so it would make it easier
automaticallymoderated
Yes! They’re ultimately trying to sell a personal trainer (great if you have the $!) They can def get you started safely with confidence :)
namiasdf
When you see somebody using a machine, strike up a conversation. They'll usually be more than willing to help. Nobody wants to see somebody
namiasdf
awkwardly using equipment and potentially hurting themselves. It'll close down the place or give it bad rap.
vixn
That’s easier said than done for me. If I don’t have to talk to someone, I won’t. I’m grateful for self checkouts and my doctor’s app.
namiasdf
Yea, but it's a life skill, asking for help. People at the gym are much more friendly than you think. Just avoid the skinny shits throwing
namiasdf
weights.
vixn
Lol why is that? Too much confidence with such little knowledge?