MartynMage
115990
2081
71
Jun 18, 2020 5:35 AM
MartynMage
115990
2081
71
CritterrCatcher
That’s gonna be a no from me dawg
carriedeservedbetter
r/twosentencehorror !
Donku83
DSpacey
Hello darkness, my old friend
SophieClockwise
xenocratus
#1 does that mean you now have a naked ghoul running around?
CthulhuDeepOne
#6 not sure why but this one in particular gave me chills.
HankHell2400
All of these were just reposted already a few days ago.
Holodeck5
The last man alive on Earth after the pandemic was alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.
TheonGreyjoysfavoritetoy
The continuity of the background texture is neat
jojoyojimbi
They said Covid was a hoax. We weren't able to attend Grandma's funeral, and no one had any tears left when Grandpa went two weeks later...
CaptainMurderPants
#7 is more just really sad then scary
jenault
I looked at the reaper and said, “I am not afraid of you”. He looked back solemnly and said, “I am here to protect you”.
jenault
Thought I’d try it out
Mobileuserwholikestoberandom
#5 is just Tangled. Almost, the did see her leave
SchmuseKatze
I'm glad I don't live alone. I'll always have a weak excuse for sleep pics to keep me in false reassurement
[deleted]
[deleted]
SchmuseKatze
omg, who took the pic then? The cats are great n all, but I was referring to my humans, aka hubby + kid.
WarBearGrrrrrrr
#3 would find the third hand creepy, but would abuse it ?
masterschreck
TLDR: 1. Something normal. 2. Surprise they're dead.
Frankiejoneston
Or "Surprise YOU'RE dead"
ObliqueRay
#2 Smack them both. Twins need discipline or they'll pull this crap forever.
Alfadorfox
I'd be a terrible dad of twins then because I'd encourage it. That shit's hilarious.
Fearthe3inchpunisher
Whoa man. That's dark.
BelfryBats
eatassskatefaster
Waiting for the bus in the rain too, huh?
DoktorWeasel
isomericArabesque
Always upvote surprise Night Vale!
badrabbyt
ALL HAIL THE GLOW CLOUD
sykoticflaw
Remember, everyone: There are no dogs allowed in the dog park.
DoktorWeasel
It is possible you will see Hooded Figures in the Dog Park. Do not approach them. Do not approach the Dog Park.
CellPrincess
Station management has become irate at my repeated mentioning of the dog park.
Idontspellcheck
My ex called. She's having my kid.
Bokkanb
This is probably scarier than any of the ones above, because it's so many men's reality. The open window one might beat it..
dmjalund
I want to his bedroom and there was bloodstains in his bed
RetroRicki
You say your ex fell down the stairs? Well that's unfortunate.
nietzchebomb
Tell her to get someone else’s kid!
futtheshuckup
Disclaimer: She's a cannibal.
ObserveLearnReact
"Looks like we are the last two people alive, m'lady"
Garbageperson
He said as he tipped his fedora sensually
Vokoru
broadsword8990
You're walking in the woods. There's no one around and your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him...
spyjane
SHIA LABOUF
nebuchadnezzarispooping
An old lady in my area, always finds me and tells me "one day". This morning before going to work, she said "it's time, goodbye"
EmotionallyCrippled
And then she got hit by a car
DukeSamuelVimes
Which I was driving.
Ronelyn
Under the muddy water, something touched my leg. It took all my willpower to pull the drain in my tub.
Zombieboobs459
Why you that nasty tho
SomeoneSomewhereOrSomething
They trusted a fart.
nebuchadnezzarispooping
I had one of the best weekend with my wife, we had sex the whole time. Only thing that bothers me is that on friday I told her about my will
Zombieboobs459
RatElemental
dot for explanation
nebuchadnezzarispooping
Death by snu snu
DerNacho
#4 is why I choose cremation.
Alfadorfox
I choose organ donation. That way at least I won't be lonely.
Garbageperson
daguq
Your hands are so cold I try to warm them by rubbing but it is no use. In the end I give up and return them to the freezer.
daguq
Having authorised the contract in his own blood, he watched in horror as the devil produced a million duplicates to be similarly signed.
daguq
When his fingers slipped inside the wound, Thomas had a shock. He never told the others how cold the bloodless flesh had been.
daguq
Voracious M, 41, enjoys raw foods & S&M, WLTM tasty, toned, vegetarian F, 18-25, for one glorious meal in. GSOH not required.
daguq
I wrote these for Twitter's Friday Phrases, found under #FP
AwesomeTeddybear
#5 the story of Madeleine McCann... being a dad of a young girl, the story is more heartbreaking now then I felt it back then
DukeSamuelVimes
A lot of people are a bit doubtful of the McCann story.
Mewmus
was that the "dingo stole my baby" one ?
ContagiousPersnapal
Nah that was Lindy Chamberlain. Poor woman actually spent time in jail before being exonerated.
NigerianPrincePlsSendMonies
They apparently now have concrete evidence on her killer. Was announced this week. Evidence not released yet.
AwesomeTeddybear
You should definitely watch the Netflix on this!
AwesomeTeddybear
Also, as probably none of us know the truth, it's very media driven what we think and know about the "truth" on the family
FilthyRaider
And the year ended, and Trump was in for four more years....
NotifweJammit
Oh Jesus Noooooo!
Trollydarollypolly
Diatomaceous
At least the spooks only gives us the creeps. But that creep just throws us everything unimaginable.
Legofkan1
He will be... only because the other guy really does seem to be part of the above....
NothingPrince
Came back to say this happened it is a nightmare and the world can't wake up
NotWrongJustNotRight
michaelfire
, and Trump said "President for Life"
FilthyRaider
Apparently according to that new book he's looking at doing a Putin....
filmingfiend
And he whispered “Heil Heidra”
wechonki360
USA needs Covid-99
Garbageperson
Like from the year 1999? A virus transferred by Game Boys and Pogs?
DatBlackDude
IMKARLKINGOFTHEDUCKS
Unfortunately, it will probably be the case
kaelykat
Not if we all go vote.
Silverbananahorse
Right! But I am also worried about massive fraud and voter suppression. I mean, look at who it is. They had this in Georgia and Wisconsin
kaelykat
Yeah that worries me, too. It seems like Cheetoman just wants to toss the constitution and become king.
CriticalCritic
This... this would be a fitting end to our 2020 shit show. You better be wrong, or I'm blaming you.
FilthyRaider
Can't vote, wrong country.....But I'll take the blame if it helps
CriticalCritic
You seem like a good person. ☺️