lcorigobloger
65252
1456
22
Sep 8, 2024 5:01 PM
lcorigobloger
65252
1456
22
Fett2oo5
Increase the kindness minimums of all humans to 75%
rcantProblemCreator
Whats the command for magnum dong?
usernamesarenotcomments
rm -rf --no-preserve-earth /
TheobromineAddict
Make perpetrators feel the pain of their victims.
NightOwlRally
Write out "Hello World," of course.
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
$ wall "All of your believes are 100% correct and everybody else is wrong."; sleep 1d; wall "lol, just kidding"
Eldibs
Don't remove the plastic entirely, just move, say, 400 pounds of it directly into Musk's bloodstream.
AlysObv
turn down meanness and turn up kindness
sunyudai
Write in an access back door in case I lose access again in the future, then look for log messages and check running process and try to get a handle on the environment before I go about making changes.
Once ready, set up a workspace and begin building out my own control dashboard.
RedTailedHawk
Six nipples for men
coothlesscthulhu
Intabih4
The comment section wins again.
Darooks
When you learn that coding is a lot like making wishes with a Jin.
FatalError1337
Jesus Christ the amount of bugs this would introduce, just deleted ALL plastic from the ocean not just trash. Probably just set cancer research back a few decades for all the people who are going to develop it and magic was an incredibly broken and buggy system. There was a reason it was removed!
Degarafarat
Remove religion
SirNameless
sudo rm -rf /*
OobedoobScoobyDoobyBenubi
Is religion included under cancer?
RummageSaleBubbler
Was just floating in my life boat, suddenly disappeared. This may be my last entry.
mward1984
NVM Discovered I can walk on water and talk to seagulls. Wish me luck.
OriginalAndWitty
Open my stats and find out what the hell is wrong with me.
megodk
and clear the worst debuffs
WynnCreek
I'd make every billionaire feel like they're walking on Legos permanently
evilspock
find / -ls | grep -i civilization | grep -vi earth
Let's find out about aliens.
kanemano
magic was disabled after the bear eating children incident and support for it was removed in version 2.18
booklist
uggg.soon as the bear talked they forked this shit
TeddyMoment
Simple fix
sudo sed -i 's/aggression/cuddles/g' bears/*/*.*
mward1984
I always thought that situation was unduly harsh. The girl broken into their home, wrecked the place, ate their food and was still there when they came back. I bet the Admin's reaction wouldn't have been so extreme if she'd been called Cornrows instead of Goldi, you know?
TrilithonStone
I think they mean the "Elisha Incident"...
Tengenstein
Ironically, he needs to do lines 2 & 3 in reverse order, or line 3 gives a whole load of people cancer again.
MrWobblyHead
STDs don't cause cancer. Nothing does. Different factors our bodies are exposed to only increase the risk of it developing. Remove cancer and those factors can't pose a risk.
Tengenstein
First of all not all stds are viral. Secondly HPV is definitely an STD and does cause cancer. Thirdly any genetic damage that's doesn't out right kill the cell, will be repaired but not all repairs are 100 successful and some can lead to defects, 1 of those possible defects is cancer. It's impossible to go through life without sustaining som sort of genetic damage. Removing every lysogenic strand will cause damage.
aspensmonster
I guess if you don't run the commands back-to-back fast enough. But maybe it's a shell script?
Tengenstein
It's more to so with how cells deal with genetic damage and how viruses in the lysogenic phases can essentially give you cancer. Just deleting the virus is cool but a small % of the time the dna doesn't get fixed properly and some gets a cancer cell.
mwmcveigh79
There’s a book series based on this concept that’s pretty hilarious.
haminblik69420
You have awoken my interest, daar person. Of which book series do you speak?
TheArtfulBodger
Off to be the Wizard by Scott Meyer
Yeah, pretty good fun book / audio book series. Worth a listen and a laugh :)
NoAsBigAsMediumJockButBiggerThanWeeJockJock
Thanks for reminding me. Two more books since i last checked it out. *yay*
DrewThe3DPrinterGuy
sudo mkfs -t ext4 /dev/sdb
solrev
You’ve chosen wisely. ext4 ftw
DrewThe3DPrinterGuy
I figure a fresh start is exactly what the doctor ordered.
DonaldPedoBearTrump
Might as well make it a truly fresh start: sudo dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sd* bs=1M
DrewThe3DPrinterGuy
Man you know how long it takes to zero out an entire universe? No, I'm seriously asking.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
I'm gonna put an upper bound of about 14 billion years to that. Might be a bit less.
OnceBotheredTwiceShy
sudo rm -rf people/*/*.religion
sudo rm -rf people/*/*.maga
danteTheVirtualAdept
At this point the second line might be redundant...
manyslayer
Depends, does the first one include those that claim to follow a religion but don't? If not the second one is needed.
samanthadlcruz
pretty sure those are both forms of cancer.
michiyl
I'd activate savegames
MissivesFromTheTower
mattrixk
I'd like to be able to open my stat screen, see just wtf is actually going on there.
Cynderfall
Try reading or listening to The Void Saga by Peter F Hamilton. Its basically this.
MissivesFromTheTower
Thanks, will look it up.
ARoseByAnotherUsernameWouldSmellAsSweet
Bought the book for the amazing space opera front, stayed for the isekai hacks fantasy world substory. All in all one if my most favorite book series of all time
seenunseen
Individuals constantly reloading would consistently break continuity for others
TheLeanWolf
If there are infinite parallel universes then everyone gets their own timeline
BetterKnownAsJasonDarket
But, it if people knew how it worked, it would be super lonely to use. Like, the people you know and love are still in that first life before loading....the ones in your save are not the same, when you think about it....
vissago
this guy didnt delete nazis? wtf?
manyslayer
Aren't they just a human cancer?
NineByNine
if there's no nazis, how can we punch the shit outta them until they stop being nazis? Where we gonna get our catharsis from??
vissago
if youve played enough tower defense games, or if youre old enough to have played left4dead, you would consider this a 'resource exhaustion' scenario. you cant punch every nazi in the face - you would literally run out of hand. a broader, more systemic solution is required. straight up deletion from the filesystem, similar to a thanos-snap. there are millions of them, you see. you cant manually punch millions.
NineByNine
(this is a joke, deleting nazis would be great, but prolly only a one shot thing. they'll be back. You gotta keep removing them like a cancer or they'll grow back)
vissago
germany had the right approach - make being a nazi illegal. make the salute illegal. make displaying hate symbols illegal. then throw the fucks that break that law in jail and make it very public. showing that society doesnt tolerate that sort of shit will drive it back underground, and ideally gone completely
aspensmonster
The AfD is winning elections, and Germany is busy persecuting anti-Palestinian-genocide protestors, so... maybe their approach isn't as robust as we would have hoped.
vissago
well it was for a while, anyway: https://www.foxnews.com/world/germany-arrests-italian-soccer-fan-hitler-salute-beer-hall (the irony of this being fox news is not lost on me)
irisewithredeyes
Eliminate human greed. All the other problems will fix themselves after that.
booklist
pfffttt..if only it were that simple...hmm, wait..yeah it would be that simple.
mward1984
Just kill the top 10 richest people on a specific date every year. Draws kill everybody on that level.
boblives
I dunno this feels like something a genie could mess up and turn into a bad thing, maybe increase everyone's empathy and average intelligence which basically should do the same thing
NaughtButOne
Done.
...
Oops, it turns out 'greed' is a manifestation of ambition and self-preservation. Now your human won't boot.
VodkaReindeer
But imgur told me to delete system32, why would it brick my human?
PhilFromAccounting
avarice then
Sensiblyinteresting
Removing mental illness would do more since hoarding money is a mental illness. Vs messing with free will
irisewithredeyes
I wouldn't call hoarding money a mental illness. Bill Gates, for example, has always seemed pretty sane and calculated. Greed stems from our self-preservation instinct. Most if not all life forms have it. But out of all life forms (known so far), we do have the ability to overcome it. I'm not defending Bill Gates here, though. Screw that guy. It's just an example. Also, by "curing" greed, a lot of effort would go into curing mental illness, all cancers, etc, you can be sure of it.
Sensiblyinteresting
He's a union buster, and fights tooth and nail against raising min wage. There are no ethical billionaires. He has that much money because he does not pay his employees the correct amount for their production.
irisewithredeyes
That makes him a huge asshole, not mentally ill or insane.
Sensiblyinteresting
If someone has say...... 30 cats in their 2 bedroom apartment, that would be a mental illness, if they hoarded newspapers and their entire house was full of them wall to wall enough to crush them, you would call that a mental illness. Hoarding money is a mental illness. Did you watch the Hobbit? If Gates took all his cash and bought goals it would be 2x-8x the amount of gold smaug has in that mountain. Literally more goal than a dragons mountain hoard.
Miyamotofan
Wouldn't removing all plastic from the ocean vaporize a bunch of boats and kill thousands?
Mikataki
If you were limited on hardware, I'd start with 3M, Dupont, Dow, and Exxon.
jimmythehat1
oh, no. Anyway.
MoopsyLD
the command would need to target "Floating" plastics and/or disable plastic/steel/fiber composite. Realistically you would hit 70% of all of it. boats are also made of fiberglass which touches the water first. its much better to Disable plastics by type than "Select all"
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
Wouldn't gods code be able to auto-magically understand what you meant?
DarkZalgo
Not if it ran Linux
sleepinggreenidea
I mean, this is also someone who could get rid of all viruses but only wants to get rid of STDs, so I don't think they're exactly benevolent
technofiend
It's a good first pass but yeah let's get rid of em all. We don't really need Zika, Ebola, etc not to mention all the bacterial stuff that can go as well.
unluckyandbored
Careful with bacteria. Your gut has lots and lots of bacteria that you need to survive.
Tarmaccian
Not to mention communications cables, research bouys, some synthetic shorelines, and a bunch of coral reef efforts.
To have omnipotence without omniscience is a disaster waiting to happen.
ItHappenedInThe20thCentury
You know what? Seeing the present state of things, I'll take that chance.
PyroAvok
Somebody call Kelsier; we got another Lord Ruler to kill.
DulothX
Look, man. He was, overall, a good guy. He helped his friends, punished his enemies, and saved the world, and did his best to keep people alive, even those he hated. Its not his fault that immortality and an evil god constantly whispering in your ear make a terrible combination.
PotatoPirateTheThird
and most of the undersea cables would probably fail so global internet would probably go down
Malinut
Hazaar!
greentights
Eh. We can live with that for a bit. Just download wiki now. It's smaller than a movie
SirNameless
Boats are *on* the ocean, not *in* the ocean. /Pedantry
modus0
Submarines contain plastic within them, and *are* in the ocean...
VodkaReindeer
No, the plastic is inside submarines, not inside oceans.
modus0
Was wondering if someone would resort to that level of pedantry... ;P
MissPhoenix56
Maybe not but computer code absolutely will
MissivesFromTheTower
sudo vi /animals/cows/config.cfg
i
wings.enabled=true
CTRL+C
:wq
jethroismaxbaer5772
You not going to make dogs live longer?
blcollier
God uses vi…? Ewwww, no thanks, I think I’ll stick with the Other Guy.
On second thoughts… the Other Guy probably uses emacs…
Ah fuck ‘em both… Who needs deities anyway? ☺️
SLCtechie
Holy cow!
megodk
wouldn't that be halo.enabled=true?
TheFuckfaceWhisperer
ZZ
Oberion
This guy VIMs!
MissivesFromTheTower
What can I say, I like vimmin' , eh, eh? Yeah, dumb joke, I need to make 60 of them per hour, or I'll die.
mairusupawa
The size of the flying cows' droppings, though
MissivesFromTheTower
dudbdjf
Ctrl+C? Something wrong with your Esc key?
MissivesFromTheTower
Yes, it... Uh... It escaped.
PithyCommentBelow
Uhhhh… can we add a while loop?
While $inFlight == true {
$defecation == false;
}
AimingForAdorkable
Smart move
MissivesFromTheTower
Loop for no poop, got it.
Now, peeing and lactating, on the other hand...
trollKiller
The ':wq' confirms nerd cred++
MissivesFromTheTower
I... Uh... Never pressed Enter to confirm the save. :|
Aw, man, and God is coming back now. Pray for m... You know, nevermind.
DarkZalgo
I just do esc, shift+ZZ
drhobotron
:wq! because no one has time for this shit
trollKiller
ImHereToExplainTheJoke
Ooh this dude knows how to close vim. Stand back yall.
dogfavoriter
What, not pigs?
mward1984
Too obvious.
DoingItWrongSince1980
Too much tech debt to sift through. Do you know how many absolutely bonkers events are waiting on that condition? It'd be easier to just pull the plug and start from scratch.
BeaverOnFire
MissivesFromTheTower
Dunno, cows poop in greater quantities, I believe.
wurstkaesescenario
Pig poos smells much more than cow poop.
MissivesFromTheTower
True. *goes back to the console, makes pigs as big as cows, gives them wings as well*
DZXlusional
I love me some vi, it's a lost art in a nano world.
Ihaveatinypeepeeohwell
Been working on Linux since version 2.x never used anything but vi :)
bingotown
Been using vi for 34 years. Maybe I should try nano?
DZXlusional
It's fun to try until muscle memory kicks in.
GeorgeCostabaplaps
Give me a good reason to use Vi over nano
aspensmonster
Because modal editing is fun and efficient.
ToBadForU
Because I'm to lazy to change, on my company controlled Windows laptop, the default commit message editor. It's just smashing some extra buttons, instead of a ctrl combination, and I'm done.
WeekendWarriorMark
As a hardcore vim fan boy, why not -m the message directly if setting one variable to notepad++ is to much of an ask?
ToBadForU
Because most of the times I use smartgit, but sometimes quickly do something via the command line and then forget that -m is also a possibility.
But all in all, I'm not slowed down by using vi in this particular case, so why not than just use it...
semioticmadness
I can’t. The good reason appears based on how much editing you have to do. If you ever have an ETL or data entry job where you’re editing, say, 1 MB of text per week, vim and macros becomes your friend pretty quick.
Repeat until end of file: go to first non whitespace char, find first ‘<‘ char, move right one char, delete until ‘[‘ (but not that char) and replace with ‘foo’. Find next ‘]’ char, find next ‘“‘ char, move one char right and replace all until end of line with ‘/>’
Answer…
semioticmadness
qq^f^[q10000000@q
BTW: ^[ is Escape