Life hack

So the store forgot to remove that bottle stop thing? Well with just three tools and forty five minutes, this one simple hack will get you to booze town. Not pictured: the twenty minutes of prying before I started this super simple hack. First start sawing with a leatherman. Dull and rusty is the key here. Make this as hard as possible on yourself.

I do in fact have a dremel but it was all the way downstairs and I had already started. And once the show starts it doesn’t stop. The key to this life hack isn’t just hatred and stubbornness. It’s hubris.

Finally sawed through the top and found this dumb shit. Whatever.

Now the easy twenty minute part! Prying it open with whatever was within reach! Remember, when you do this hack, blinded by hubris and ruthless hate, you will forget you have a dremel. So make sure whatever you have around is useful.

More dumb wires.

About to get the shell off! By this point, if you’re doing this correctly, you should be sweating, bleeding, and fill with a rage only one more cup of I’ll advised coffee will satiate. It does not satiate.

The dumb shit is almost off. I’d like to point out that I’m a full year sober (“oh my god @op what the fuck are you doing”) well this isn’t mine and it isn’t for me and I’m not going to start drinking (“yay @op were all so proud of you”)

Shell is off! And there’s this dumb fucking screw thing that’s stupid and oh my god this thing is fucking Fort Knox.

Simply pry it off in a blind rage.

And bingo bango bongo.

Life hack!

(In my defense I did exactly zero research and did not consult the internet before embarking on this magical journey of discovery and hate)

FP EDIT: Your banter gives my heart wings. I have a paper due tomorrow and both this project and responding to your comments is a welcome distraction. I would’ve found something else to be be distracted with honestly, but this is fun.