You’re going to learn some shit. Australian style.

This is a Pygmy Possum. 4 of the 5 species of Pygmy Possum are found in only in Australia, including this little guy. The other species cohabits Papua New Guinea. Fuck yeh.

This is the Perentie, the largest species of lizard in Australia, and the 4th largest in the world. These little critters grow up to about 2.5m (8ft 2in), and are quite shy. Adorable.

This dildo-like monstrosity is the Gippsland Giant Earthworm, the largest species of worm in the world. Averaging about 1m long, they’re a protected species. Australia has so far been unable to breed these in captivity, and frankly who fucking cares.

This adorable little bastard is the Tasmanian Devil. Yes it looks cute, however it’s so vicious that it used to affectionately be called “Beezelbubs Pup”, in reference to Satan’s assistant. This small dog bear will tear your shit up sideways.

This is a Bilby. Not a joke, it’s a 50/50 whether you get taught there’s an Easter Bunny, or an Easter Bilby. Depends how much your parents love Australia. These cute bastards are omnivorous, and don’t need to drink water. If you get lost and dehydrated in the desert, this will eat you. Maybe.

This rapidly moving bush is called an Emu. 6’2” tall and capable of running up to 50km/h (32mph). Yes, there was a war with them. And yes, the Australian Army lost. Don’t fuck with these flightless turds.

This is a Sugar Glider, and contrary to the name, does not taste like sugar. These tiny cute buggers can glide distances in excess of 50m (55 yards).

This adorable cat-dog is the Spotted Quoll, also known as the Tiger Quoll. Small and fuzzy? Sure. But it’s also a carnivore that typically kills by delivering a powerful bite to the base of the skull to incapacitate its prey. Go hug one, help keep the tourist population down.

This pin cushion fuck is called a Short Beaked Echidna. It’s tiny and sweet, and doesn’t kill everything. Nice and normal, right? Wrong. This thing lays eggs like a chicken and its penis has one shaft, 4 knobs. Which, when erect, is around 1/4 of its whole body.

This will be something you’re more familiar with. This satanic fuckbag of hatred is the Giant Huntsman, commonly found in your bedroom, shower, inside your shoes, stealing your kids. These hairy fear-mongering cunts are actually good for your house, because they eat all the little insects and bugs. But they also don’t pay rent so they’re not welcome.

This is a Quokka. Made famous because it smiles for photos. No shit. There’s genuinely no weird facts about this guy, it’s just adorable.

This is a Potoroo. Basically a kangaroo the size of a rabbit. Useless but I like it. And yes, this thing is also a meat eater. Nowhere is safe.

This is a hairy nosed Wombat, one of the rarest species in the world. Last estimate is there are around 200 left, as their known habitat is incredibly small. It’s just one house where they share rent.

This is a Planigale. This is the cutest little bastard alive. He weighs about 4.5 grams and he’ll grow to about 6-7cm long.

Dog tax. This is Czar.

FRONT PAGE EDIT: Thank everyone, glad you liked this semi informative nonsense. I'll be putting part 2 up shortly, and am working on a dangerous animals edition if you're interested!

Send interesting conversation topics.

EDIT: Part 2 https://imgur.com/gallery/57oAN

Part 3: Deadly Edition https://imgur.com/gallery/t3DAZ

Part 4: https://imgur.com/gallery/BwMVS