YannietheYanitor
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You may have heard of this name before, but many don’t know much about who he was. He was a mythical figure in his time and his legend remains to this day. Here’s some cool info about an enigmatic dude with a crazy life.
No Tl;DR. I think it’s pretty interesting, and I tried to keep it fairly short.
Grigori Rasputin:
- Born 21 January 1869, died 30 December 1916 (aged 47). Rasputin was born in a small ass village in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere, Siberia (aka Pokrovskoye).
He was the son of a fairly well off peasant family who owned their own land, but life was tough as shit in Siberia. Later in his life, Rasputin claimed the nature around him gave him religious insight:
“Follow me in the summer to Pokrovskoye, to the great freedom of Siberia. We will catch fish and work in the fields, and then you will learn to understand God.”
- Grigori Rasputin
When Rasputin was eight years old, and his brother Dmitri was twelve, his brother was pulled into the water while they were swimming. He later died of pneumonia. Rasputin was never the same after this tragedy; he became moody and withdrawn. Two years later he sort of got over the incident, but he emerged a different person. People claimed he could read their minds. Moreover, it was said that he could lay his hands on sick farm animals and cure them.
People said his powers came from God, but he was certainly no saint. Even from a very young age Rasputin was extremely sexually active, and it was also said that he was pretty freaking good at it (*historically fist bumps*). He married a twenty-three year old woman when he was nineteen, and they stayed married throughout his life. Nonetheless, he always continued his sexual conquests until the day he died. His wife said that he was man enough for more than just one woman (*historically fists bumps his chill ass wife*). His sexual escapades would later come back to haunt him, almost getting him killed. I’ll get to that a little later.
Transformation:
Eventually the people in his village got sick of his ways. On top of his womanizing, he drank heavily, and sometimes vandalized property. They wanted to kick him out of the village. Instead, Rasputin volunteered to make up for his rockstar ways by walking a 260 mile pilgrimage to a famous monastery. When he left there, he returned home a new man. His entire attitude was noticeably changed (except for the drinking…and later the womanizing again).
He later joins a traveling group of monks, and meets all kinds of people from all over Russia. Everywhere he goes people are captivated by his luring personality. He truly sought God, and people mostly saw him in this light. But he was well-aware of the practical opportunities presented to him by gaining people’s trust.
Rasputin’s Eyes:
Eventually the de facto monk ends up in the bustling city of St. Petersburg, home to the royal Tsar family. Even though he was a peasant, he became a prominent figure here. Much of his commanding magnetism was attributed to his eyes. They were blue, piercing, and he always looked whoever he was talking to directly in the eyes as long as they were talking. Even his pictures show the intensity of his notorious gaze. Within months of his arrival to St. Petersburg, Grigori Rasputin is granted the ultimate honor of meeting Tsar Nicholas II and his wife Alexandra.
The Tsar’s Secret:
The tsar’s only son Alexei was a hemophiliac. This meant that he had to be on constant guard, as even a small cut would not clot. The bigger problems occurred when even a minor fall would cause internal bleeding, resulting in agonizing pain for the child for days at a time. The doctors said that one day it would kill him. So it was a closely kept secret, since he was the only heir to the throne. During one of these events, Rasputin asked to see the child. The child’s mother and the Tsar’s wife asked Rasputin not to wake the child. Rasputin said that he must. He woke the kid up, made him laugh and smile, and the child went back to sleep. The next day the child was miraculously cured. From this day on Rasputin was always able to heal the Prince. Because of this, he would become a fixture in the Tsar family, and develop a close relationship with the Tsar’s wife.
So now we have a common peasant who managed to work his way into the royal circle, a previously unheard of feat. People everywhere knew of him. Many thought he was secretly controlling the royal family. Some thought he was sleeping with the Tsar’s wife (he actually probably wasn’t). Some thought he was Satan himself.
On the same day the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated (a major catalyst for the spark of World War 1) there was also an assassination attempt on Rasputin. During a visit to his home village, an ex-lover stabbed Rasputin in his abdomen. She was so disfigured by syphilis that he didn’t even recognize her at first. This is the aforementioned incident when his sexual proclivities come back to haunt him, although it turned out that she was actually pretty insane. He survived after 6 weeks in the hospital (six weeks with no sex must have been miserable for him). This only added to his mystique.
From his hospital bed Rasputin sent the Tsar a warning letter of an apocalyptic vision, which would later come to fruition:
“A terrible storm cloud lays over Russia. Disaster, grief, murky darkness and no light, a whole ocean of tears, there is no counting them. And so much blood. The disaster is great. The misery: infinite.”
- Grigori Rasputin
I know this is a somewhat vague and general warning on the eve of a war, but these can certainly add to a man’s legendary reputation. Moreover, some of the language is pretty spot on, considering that over 1.5 million Russians will die in WWI.
(Last part coming up next. This is what initially drew me to Rasputin.)
Rasputin’s Death:
Felix Yusopov, along with fellow conspirators, planned to kill Rasputin. They were all political figures more or less. He invited Rasputin into his home, took him to the basement, and offered him sweets laced with large amounts of cyanide. He ate one, then he ate another. Then he consumed copious amounts of cyanide laced wine. When this seemingly did nothing, Yusopov went upstairs to grab a revolver from one of the waiting co-conspirators. He shot Rasputin, hitting him in the chest and penetrating his stomach and liver. Rasputin collapsed and Yusopov went upstairs to celebrate with the rest, but a short time later Rasputin opened his eyes and somehow managed to make an escape up the stairs and out to the courtyard. They chased him, fired multiple shots, and eventually one bullet penetrated his kidney and lodged in his spine. A bit later, the body reportedly made a sudden movement, so they shot him in the forehead one more time.
His body was thrown away in the river and eventually washed up on shore. When the body was recovered the hand ties were off and his hands were in the air. This lead people to believe that he was still fighting to survive in the river. They also said his hands were held up to make the sign of the cross. They said that he either drowned or died of hypothermia. These can’t be true since he was shot in the head, but once again it added fuel to the fire of Grigori Rasputin’s legend.
Shortly before his death, Rasputin sent Tsar Nicholas II a strangely specific prophecy which would come to pass shortly:
“If i’m killed by my brothers the Russian peasants, you have nothing to fear. If it is your relations who have brought about my death, then none of your family will remain alive for more than 2 years. They will all be killed by the Russian people.”
- Grigori Rasputin
Fifteen months after this prophecy, the entire royal family will be killed during the Russian Revolution. The royal wife and all her children will be shot, bayoneted, and beaten to death by the Russian people,
Sorry if this was too long. First post like this so let me know if you want more and/or throw some suggestions my way.
Here’e a link to a free documentary about his life on the biography channel:
http://www.biography.com/people/rasputin-9452162/videos/rasputin-full-episode-2074727529
pherio
Curious Fact: Boney M, who sang the song Rasputin, died in St. Petersburg, like Rasputin, on the anniversary of Rasputin's death.
PixyStyk
Viciousalicious
I heard they burned his body, and his corpse sat up which freaked the hell out of everyone thinking he was still alive.
Wrighty11xbl
Now I know why mastodon love hin so!!!
gimmehatwobble
The Russian boogie man
jimmybidenspoolboy
His predictions and prophecies were probably helped by the fact that revolution was obvious from Bloody Sunday onwards...
AcidAssasin
There is a myth that when they retrieved his body, they burned his body, but when he was burning it is said that he sat up in the flames.
AcidAssasin
Needless to say, the soldiers/guards emptied their rifles into the corpse. *I don't know the source, only the story.
fabdragonskater
He didnt cure Aleksej. He just managed to make his pain go away for a while.
TheMwarrior50
This guys luck stat is near maxed out. Damn.
LillyVixen
Actually, to survive poisoning and stabbing, it'd be Stamina in AD&D. Constitution in other forms of the game.
aimsquish86
Not too long at all. Rasputin always scared me because of his penetrating stare but I enjoyed this post .
TouchThaFishyyy
Now you can be scared of his giant penetrating penis instead of his stare!
notniIc
Rasputin - the ol' razzle dazzle
billymadison76
He did some great work with "Watchmen" too.
DrakeWriston
Love Alan "Rasputin" Moore!
MrOne2
As a side note:the killing process was described by Yusupov.Some say that the facts were exagerated to vilify Rasputin and justify the kill.
MiloBloomm
You will forget this
SweetStache
Oh man what a throwback
MiloBloomm
Always happy to oblige.
?fb
tallbo
Man I always think about how itchy their buttholes must have been back then. I mean just all the time what?? So itchy.
AlkeneThiol
I have also remarked before about how everyone in history must've smelled absolutely horrid
LanaDelReyy
Why
mycatToastwasafatasshole
No regular bathing, bad hygiene, rampant disease...
RickIsMyName
anyone felt that rasputin's pictures are really creepy??
Vicidsmartv2
Yup
Tjmalt421
Definitely do a similar post on Vlad, the Impaler. Historical figures turned Legends are great stories. This post is well done!
hooktail419
I want to hear more about late 20th century serial killers. I've got a lot of knowledge on those but I'm always up to learn more.
Lyndsay09
Elisabeth Bathory AKA the Blood Countess is one of the most chilling I've read about. It seems not as many know about her.
Tokyokitteh
Moar!!!
prjktdc
Bravo OP for the effort you put into this post. This is a good post.
PGTipsMonkeh
You forgot that when they found his body in the water, they tried to burn it on a pyre as one last fuck-you to him. What they didnt do 1/
PGTipsMonkeh
Was cut his veins in his wrists, legs, etc. so when they burnt him, his muscle contorted and it looked like he sat up in the fire. 2/2
OCPoster
"looked like"
SerialChillinSpree
Oh, my. That really would actually be a final fuck you - from Rasputin w/love.
TouchThaFishyyy
Little-known fact: Rasputin was especially fond of his pet bat that played a large role in the revolution.
TheBlackShakes
You jest, but a lot of the stuff in this post really is exaggerated https://skeptoid.com/episodes/4432
SteveHarringtonBabysittingServices
And hoooOooo ah! And then I kick her sir.
Applepotamus
another little-known fact: Rasputin has been spotted alive and training legendary fighter Fedor Emelianenko
tehzpoon
There are a lot of people who do think he is still alive. Most of them are conspiracy theorists or followers of the occult.
lancerudager
The worlds flat, bigfoot's real, and 711 did 911.
crazybatshit99
they have his dick in a jat
TouchThaFishyyy
For all your holiday needs... Step 1. Cut a hole in the jat. Step two. Put your junk in that jat..... need I go on?
Javertoldfriend
BARTOK THE MAG-NI-FI-CENT!!!
CuteAnimalsForSadSister
My sister and I are the only ones who ever reference this movie; we have Bartok on our Christmas tree. You are my new friend.
Javertoldfriend
I loved the movie as a kid. Never knew why how little everyone either remembers or quotes him nowadays. BUBBA YAGGA!!!!!
TheBlackShakes
Another little-known fact: HE'S STILL AROUND
Efreeti
Ras Clot Putin
TouchThaFishyyy
AxelFlax88
Once upon a December
TouchThaFishyyy
Someone holds me safe and warm, horses prance through a silver storm...
AxelFlax88
Figures dancing gracefully across my memoryyy
TouchThaFishyyy
Far away, long ago, glowing dim as an ember...
AxelFlax88
Hm don't remember that line
champagneforbreakfast
Things my heart used to know, things it yearns to remember..
AxelFlax88
And a song, someone sings...
TouchThaFishyyy
Once upon a December
aviator4788
Ra Ra Ra Rasputin
Fredfinks
Fun fact - the boney m guy died in st petersburg on the same day as rasputin. Rasputins revenge
theaccountformyporn
Lover of the Russian queen
Michealbay
Boney M is reverse Abba
ReptilianViking
Gonna have to downvote because of the extra ra... son I am disappoint.
bntli
dangit. came here to say that.
ReptilianViking
Me too haha
YannietheYanitor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yTVWXYctoY
InboxMeYourHDGIFs
Nah, I can do one better https://youtu.be/cdkBs0VCSX0
ReikoHanabara
I was waiting for this one
InboxMeYourHDGIFs
Why are people downvoting me? Nice username btw
OmegaDega
Russia's greatest love machine
heyheynaynay
They put some poison into his wine
WatcherRat
There was a cat who really was gone.
xHughJassx
Old Rasputin is a good brew
amishgonewild
https://youtu.be/lKzly4fD0YA
SamArt53
North Coast Brewing Co., Mendocino, CA A great stout. Not bitter like Guinness - more like Murphy's (the other Irish beer)!
IreallywantmynametobeSpaghetti
As ive grown older I've learned I don't like Guinness. Off the bat it's too weak 4.2% that's nothing if I'm enjoying a nice Stout I need 8%
IreallywantmynametobeSpaghetti
Old Rasp is one fine beverage.
hawkIPA
This was one of the beers that got me hooked on good beers.
LenfantSauvage86
That shit will turn concrete into blacktop. Love it!
VossKrylov
Damn right
creativepickle1
Would love to try some barrel aged Rasputin, haven't got my hands on it yet
Imjustheretobrowsetoo
That was the first thing that came to mind when I saw the first picture also. One of my favorites.
AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle
yup
ToTheWindowToTheSquirrel
I was thinking about that as well
bumpyplox
You should try the Barrel Aged Old Rasp. I don't know why people are chiming in with other brew mentions.
BearJesus1784
Goodwood makes a great number of stouts!
AttorneyAtBirdLaw
Been sitting on one of those for about a year now. Gonna crack it open around Christmas time methinks
fatherjokes
Love BA Rasputin!
SamArt53
Thx for the tip. Few places in NorCal carry Old Rasp. on tap. If they do it's with nitro. Not bad!
TeamSpicyTacos
It's bitter, thick frothy but somehow I'm just drawn to it. It's my favorite beer!
draconus77
It is really harsh, I prefer a smoother stout.
SamArt53
Please name one or two you like. We'd all like to learn.
draconus77
1: Double Chocolate Stout - Rogue Brewing. 2: Milk Stout - Stone Brewing. 3: Winter Stout - Saint Arnold Brewery.
SamArt53
Thx so much. I've tried 1 & 2. Not a fan of chocolate flavor in beer. Milk stouts are too sweet for me. I'll attempt to try the rest soon!
draconus77
4: Cream Stout - Sam Adams. 5: Oatmeal Stout - Stone Brewing. 6: Ten Fidy - Oskar Blues
jugRn0t
Those are all good, but Ten Fidy is about three times more than anybody needs.
MrRasputin
Is my username finally relevant?
Arsikere
CARPE DIEM FUCKER!
unleashedfreak
^ you can't keep Rasputin down.
DrakeWriston
Yes!
nickdillinger
'Tis
rararasputinloveroftherussianqueen
It is always relevant!
stormtrooper412
yes, it's all good now
notitnoti
I had Rasputin nightmares after I read Robert K. Massey's book, Nicholas and Alexandra. Some scary shit there.
muinmuin
.
Super90nova
Dot for actual research purposes
IronRod
I must look into this. If you like history read his book Castles of Steel.
Hyippy
Future me, read this
davidbowieeyes
Future me, steal this comment
theluckysuccess
Future me, read this thread.
OlRockTheGoodAg
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ScandinavianClown
.
KenanAndKelThuzad
.
Hirds
khl
zicroniumstarman
I need to go to a bookstore.
teeph
A what?
lmg517
.
Conveyer
.
SaunterbluggetHampterfuppinshire
Dott
libcrazenite
For further reading purposes.
Lilgrabba
.
TheSpaceBagel
Dot
whatissofunny
Doot
Fuckingdalmasindahouse
.
rockatron5000
.
AnaNada
.
UnquietSlumbersForTheSleepers
Dot at the end of the sentence. You're not playing around
SuspiciousPeon
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powerpookie9000
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queenofthesnatch
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BecauseButthole
Jack, read this book.
catiethecookie
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LadybirdBrown
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Keltin99
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anticippointment
Boop
feraldelirium
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NamerFace
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Umsies
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kittybeam
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Stupidfuckingusername
Cough
Razgriz001
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HeroQueenofAlbion
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mypapayaissteaming
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HeyNonnyNonnie
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CoughedupFurball
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The5thHokage
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CocaineAndSelfPleasure
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TheFineBros
I need to read this book comment.
itsnoteventhatbad
dot
Maxhallsdefenseattorney
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pepesuarez
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lolimadentist
Went to the house he was killed in. Basement was creepy as fuk and house had a bunch of weird false doors in it leading no where.
CliffWindham
Sounds like the Winchester Home
TouchThaFishyyy
What was creepy about the basement?
teeph
They called it "Murderdome 3000."
thedailycringepodcast
All I can think of Rasputin from the movie Anastasia!
Bbbrrr000ccckkk1
There is always Rasputin from the first Hellboy movie too. That was an interesting depiction.
spacecadet103
https://66.media.tumblr.com/b8b0f1361fc450eb2ef08fb768b20f59/tumblr_nhrsqducuj1qf5bb8o1_500.gif
AxelFlax88
He was depicted differently in Anastasia
TouchThaFishyyy
Only a little bit, really. :P
mythology333
"In the dark of the night I was tossing and turning. And the nightmare I had was as bad as can be"
FennecFyre
"It scared me out of my wits: a corpse falling to bits!"
heartygizmo
Then I opened my eyes, and the nightmare was ME!
TouchThaFishyyy
I can't tell you who told me, but someone mentioned that the nightmare was Rasputin himself!
SaintMelotheWizard
Confused as to why you can't say who
Catsandbutts
RA - RA - RASPUTIN! LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN.
SmilingSamoyed
Didn't he apparently have a foot long tackle that the Russians decided to chop off and keep on display somewhere?
Firestorm277
Turisas!!!!! /m/
Steamarrow
They put some poison into his wine! Ra-Ra-Ra-Rasuptin Russian's famous love machine! He drank it all and said "I was fine"!
spasmfingers
Ooooooh those Russians
theluckysuccess
As an American this song makes so much more sense now.
Kartel
Boney M also has a song called Rasputin, pretty good song too
dukegonzo
The above link is a cover of the boney m song.
YourInfoIsCrapImgur
The lyric on this thread is Boney M
dukegonzo
Yes! I was just saying as it seemed this was an answer to the link above.
Marikhen
No sauce? Shame on you! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdkBs0VCSX0
Gawky
wrong sauce, much more fun https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zql0UVcv-1w
SheTurnedMeIntoANewtButIGotBetter
I have no idea who downvoted you so i brought you back to life. :P
Zenigrath
Downvoters are the true Boney M. fans.
ElPoloDiablo
What is that abomination? That's not the original!
[deleted]
[deleted]
celestedrake
I like this one https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySlxqMkVRRE
MrWoodchip
This is the original.
TheodoreBuckland
And the original. But both are nice!
Marikhen
I'm willing to agree to disagree. Sometimes less is more, but in this instance the original is more like broth than sauce to me.
NinjaCongo
Lord was that an awkwardly choreographed video.
SecretlyThreeDucksInAManSuit
That's the original, but this is my fav: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKzly4fD0YA
SharkyTheDog
Everybody knows the sauce
HIPHOPABS
OMG this is terrible. If they sang slightly louder than a whisper it would be amazing.
MrWoodchip
It's weird. The original got downvoted, and this one got upvoted.
WhatyoudontknowaboutFUCKMOUNTAINcankillyou
Every once in a while a cover is better than the original.
Marikhen
Definitely. Warrant's rendition of We Will Rock You is far better than Queen's, and Rebel Yell is good by Billy Joel but slightly better ->
Marikhen
(1) by Black Veil Brides. On the other hand they're sometimes just different-but-not-better such as songs like Paint it Black. The original
WhatyoudontknowaboutFUCKMOUNTAINcankillyou
Or the Disturbed rework of Sound of Silence.
WhatyoudontknowaboutFUCKMOUNTAINcankillyou
See also, Tyr's cover of Pantera's Cemetery Gates, and the Guns and Roses version of Sympathy for the Devil
Marikhen
(2) is great, but when you get a female singer doing it such as with Inkubus Sukkubus it can change the focus/impact of the song.
mrdude88
Not all the royal children died. Anastasia survived because Dimitri lead her through a trap door, which she escaped from.
zhukoz
Yay for conspiracy theories! lol
BallsackHippo
Ever read about the Imperial family's death? They brought them in the basement, told them they were sentenced to die. Nicolas was dead 1/2
echlamba
This is fact
n3onrat
This deserves more than a +1.
TheNerdyNaturalist
Although the Tsar did not survive, one daughter maybe still alive.
n3onrat
But please, do not repeat.
TouchThaFishyyy
Get your facts straight"MrDude88"(if that's even your real name). It was a hidden door, not a trap door which are only in floors or ceilings
Churmybro
BallsackHippo
2/2 before he could say anything. His last word was 'What?!' upon hearing the sentence, the second later he was dead.
SuharuStormrage
Also "These can’t be true since he was shot in the head" shots to the head aren't always deadly, people have survived worse.
hooktail419
Hell, look at Phineas Gage
teeph
"I got betta." - guy who got turned into a newt and also shot in the head but was okay.
Noraneko
isnt it just like a myth? Anastasia was never found
TorrentialUpPour
Thats not true, they found her body buried at the tree line of the estate something like 5 years ago.
Noraneko
its kind of a conspricary theory. just like @springmom said, it has been proven that they all died.
TorrentialUpPour
But the bodies of Anastasia and one of her brothers weren't discovered until just recently, so there was a genuine possibility for a time.
springmom
DNA evidence has proved they all died, including Anastasia, in 1918.
xiaodown
FYI DNA evidence accounts for all of the Russian royal family; they were, definitively, historically, all killed on the same night.
SergeantSalsa
He's jokingly talking about the movie Anastasia
zhukoz
Unequivocally this, As if the Bolsheviks would have allowed anyone to escape lol
ElPoloDiablo
Actually the Bolsheviks were willing to send the royal family to UK, but the King of England refused them out of fear of Communists 1/2
ElPoloDiablo
gaining momentum in Britain because of government getting involved.
zhukoz
Nope it was Kerensky and the Mensheivks who offered passge to England for the Tsar & family. But you're right it was George V who refused to
xiaodown
Right; i mean, I think he was referring to the animated children's movie, or whatever, but yeah, they all died in 1918, all skeletons found.
teeph
Awwwww. :( Man, the Bolsheviks suck.
Mackeroy
to put it lightly