Mar 12, 2022 11:23 PM
anlyin
158954
2091
19
Zega000
Is that a house arrest bracelet it's dragging?
1337bobbarker
Mousejiggler.exe
CaptainSomebody
Needs a shorter string
Jesuspokemon56
You literally have to move a mouse around?
joepineapplesindrag
p75369
*Get's phone call* "Hey Jim, boss here, just wondering why your Teams status is 'stuck under sofa'?"
fibbertitgibbet
Download the application caffeine. It does this without any hassle.
Isorikk
I keep seeing people come up with the must ridiculous alternatives to just googling "auto key presser" and finding 500 solutions
Spootanany
My cats would put and end to that within seconds
helkafen
"Bullshit jobs" - David Graeber would love this.
HiMyNameIsDavidAndILikeToParty
Taking its pet for a walk
RobertTheBruise
DontcallmeLen
You can buy a mouse wiggler for this. Looks like a USB stick, reports like a HID mouse.
gablestout
You can also get a physical mover, like the Liberty Mouse Mover. Just drop your mouse in and turn it on
jenzhere99
If you're a guy or motivated woman get a fitbit & start furiously masterbating. The fitbit counts each fap as a step as the wrist is moving
missojennie
djmaskell
There's a program that moves the mouse for you. Used to use that with NetZero free version when pirating MP3s off Napster on a 56k modem.
(free version of NetZero would log you off if you were idle for too long)
starheart8
Just says active throughout the day, doesn't say anything about being productive
quzar
Just like forcing you to come to an office for that time. I'd take this over that any day.
Skrillz
Open up notepad and set a smaller padlock sideways onto the keys, it will keep printing the same letter and won't let the computer sleep.
abetteridiot
My uncle's work place has something that tracks eye-movement. He's a programmer… they all just wrote some tool that fools the tracker.
itzwibble
You mean you are video taped working?? That is so creepy how will i pick my nose then. Atleast it would say im productive xD
No, not taping as such. Just checking eye movement, though likely done with a camera, but using program running that does the tracking.
ziltoShibaMonster
That's some dystopian shit
Kashija
For the software I have to use, "watching" a youtube video seems to do it.
DKB13
Playlists are the best, because they refresh the page between videos
blondeliners
Or just a live feed like the Lofi girl. Doesn’t stop
igotagifforthat
Open a pdf doc and put a notebook on the spacebar.
WanagoRed
Will opening a Word doc and putting something on the space bar also work?
Yes, but the you’ll have a doc with thousands of spaces and it can freeze up word
tr26
Put your mouse on top of an analog watch with a second hand. You’re welcome.
G0MeatCube
Why
We11thatwasC00L
So you can say it's "on the clock"
TheNoggle
because every 60 seconds the second hand would go under the mouse sensor, making it count as if the mouse moved.
GamiCross
Imagine if jobs didn't suck so much people had to resort to this...
nero4ty2
I love my job and the fact that I can just plug in a jiggler a couple days a week and have hours of free time is great
fake40nedeso
Well, your mixing up things. Imagine where management is actually capable to do their job and trust their employees. We got two policies 1/.
When working remotely you MUST NOT be offline/AFK. On site you are ALLOWED to be just that. Go figure! For example, if I have a call on 2/.
my landline/mobile I get locked out (afk) within fucking 5 minutes! If I read/write a concept or just think for longer than that, bam! AFK.
Now, as I said, on-site that’s no issue. Boss can see me thinking/talking… he doesn’t watch me at all. While working off-site he has to 4/.
report why we are "not productive" that often … really smart process
jimmythehat1
If you have an analog watch with a second hand you can put your laser mouse on top of it and it’ll move the mouse
ShaunDreclin
I don't understand why they demand you be at your computer for x amount of time. If the job is getting done, it's getting done.
Bad management. Three possibilities, one reason: Distrust. HR is incompetent; Management is incompetent; both are incompetent. Well… 1/2
It’s really just HR. If line management is incompetent, then HR did a major fuck up not training them. But no, the floor worker is at fault.
AlkeneThiol
I worked 10 hour days and Saturdays for a month. No mention. I was 20 minutes late to my "station" and it was "please come to my office."
Old school ideals are ruining us.
To be clear i wasn't late to a meeting. Don't work with customers. Just wasn't seen adjacent to my station. Had no planned tasks. No reason
GenXHippie
I use an app called MouseJiggler. Keeps me online all day and doesn’t actually move the mouse. It just tells Windows it’s being moved.
Really weird and patchy monitoring if you have to stay active but also are allowed to install unapproved software.
I downloaded it before Covid so download and install restrictions were different. If I have to image my machine it’ll never work again.
RadonGaming
The fact so many of your are monitored this way is fucking depressing. Am I glad I have professional autonomy.
Corporations r full of people too stupid to figure out if the work is being done unless they see individual pieces of it actually happening.
Atharaenea
And real fun when you're cleaning up everyone else's fuckups so it doesn't look like you've done any work at all
At least that bit is universal. Happens in mine too.
CogYang
they're takin our jobs
RetroRicki
That damn Roomxican
MisterBrahanovich
Dey turk err jerrrrbs!
decarnatedame
TRKRJRB!
danopotato
Everybody get back in the pile!!!
Clydefrogger
We’re getting back in the pile?!
vengfish
Please, for the love of god, unless you are making insane bank, just go find another job. The more people who switch jobs right now the
more pay goes up for everyone.
Tennox
I found a script online that presses a key periodically, so I never go idle or have to see the corporate screensaver adverts on my work comp
BadBuBBaStuff
Doot
OMFGWhatHaveWeDONE
Random script?!? Naw. Just get a box fan, turn it on, put the mouse on top.
Chimponzoo
Set your computer to presentation mode, and it will never go idle/screen saver. And the Run prompt type in: presentationsettings /start
aFadingMemory
If you have Teams you can open a meeting with yourself and change your status back to available. It keeps you from ever showing idle.
McAltec
Screensaver advertising.....installed by your job?
mynamespaul
It’s usually more “corporate memos” or general Koolaid rather than actual advertising of a product.
Frankiejoneston
On Mac, I use Caffeine. Been keeping me active for 2 years straight now
ismyusernametoolong
It's on windows too https://superuser.com/questions/329758/how-can-i-prevent-a-policy-enforced-screen-lock-in-windows
jeffois
Movemouse on Windows, can be used as a portable app
PrincessNakedMoleRat
I use that.
SmeesNotVeryGoodTwin
I would like to see someone take the FishPlays Twitch setups and use that as an input. FishPlaysCorporateWorker
Call yourself. If you have some chat/VOIP app (MS Teams, Webex and the sorts) have a meeting w/ yourself. Just as in real life: Book a 1/2
meeting room and invite others*. We invite us regularly to have a blocker nobody dares to book over just to get stuff done. Stupid 2/3
policies are stupid. You can invite others w/o inviting them. Create event offline, delete the invitation from outbox before going online
blumpk1npie
Is this something I can do without being an administrator?
grumpygirlishere
Movemouse on windows yes.
No, if your company doesn’t have monkeys for Sys Engineers they’ll have MS standard policies preventing this. Use chat apps to look present.
Just call yourself or setup an online meeting with yourself… MS Teams and Webex work like a charm. Prevent lockscreen & you're "on a call".
AdanteBloodmoon
And that script is found....?
webtekprime
Mouse move works great as well
SLCtechie
In addition to the other comment, if you’re on a Mac, you can use: caffeinate -disum
Lucallia
Autohotkey is a pretty common scriptrunner too
Sensiblyinteresting
I got an app called auto clicker. It's a life saver
davethegreatest350
Set WshShell = WScript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell") new line WshShell.SendKeys "Hello World!"
Replace new line with a litteral new line
I do something similar, but I have it send the scrlock key twice quickly. That way I can have it run even if I’m typing
Can you get away with adding a script through the company's security protocols?
Completely depends on the security protocols. At my work, you can’t run any PS script. But I discovered that it doesn’t care about
myballshurt
Put a watch under the mouse. Its not that hard
amarie911
A watch?
AStegosaurus
Just download Mouse Jiggle.
RichardBehind
Or like mouse jiggler app...
bajapulpo7
This is funnier
iDrinkIsleLays
but what if u only got those smart watches?
EmailFail
Thanks for the pro tip
NapAllDayPartyNever
oooh i got scammed when buying a cart and they sent me 2 watches instead, now i know what to use them for!
Calling yourself or having a call with just yourself is ways simpler (MS Teams) and your status is "Busy"…
MoskauHOHOHO
are watches still a thing?
TheMoonTart
Must it have a second hand or can it just be minutes?
KoalaOnTheJuice
CarlottaVonSprockett
This gif bothers me because her top jaw doesn’t line up with her bottom jaw.
AlGoonie
Note, it has to be analog
Krossis
Do they even still make analog mice?
FoxGodRecords
No, but new old stock is out there. MS Intellimouse, Mitsumi, HP, IBM. All available brand new with PS/2 plugs.
BitchButcher
But the hasn't.
tacotaco8288
Was gonna say just get an isolating desk fan and stick it to the mouse
Folded a sheet of paper to the fan lid of my laptop and placed the mouse sideways in front of it… however calling myself is simpler (VOIP)
turomar
Oscillating and that's a great idea
Oh sorry half sleep. Been working all week
thomn8r
An "isolating" desk fan blows your BO everywhere so nobody wants to be near you
If you work from home probably not the best. In an office would work great lol
Azawarau
I have a trackball . Give me an idea
Medellei
Take the ball out and put a watch in face down over the sensor.
Kapi23
Get a laser mouse
orivalx
Buy an actual mouse
Over my dead body
Zega000
Is that a house arrest bracelet it's dragging?
1337bobbarker
Mousejiggler.exe
CaptainSomebody
Needs a shorter string
Jesuspokemon56
You literally have to move a mouse around?
joepineapplesindrag
p75369
*Get's phone call* "Hey Jim, boss here, just wondering why your Teams status is 'stuck under sofa'?"
fibbertitgibbet
Download the application caffeine. It does this without any hassle.
Isorikk
I keep seeing people come up with the must ridiculous alternatives to just googling "auto key presser" and finding 500 solutions
Spootanany
My cats would put and end to that within seconds
helkafen
"Bullshit jobs" - David Graeber would love this.
HiMyNameIsDavidAndILikeToParty
Taking its pet for a walk
RobertTheBruise
DontcallmeLen
You can buy a mouse wiggler for this. Looks like a USB stick, reports like a HID mouse.
gablestout
You can also get a physical mover, like the Liberty Mouse Mover. Just drop your mouse in and turn it on
jenzhere99
If you're a guy or motivated woman get a fitbit & start furiously masterbating. The fitbit counts each fap as a step as the wrist is moving
missojennie
djmaskell
There's a program that moves the mouse for you. Used to use that with NetZero free version when pirating MP3s off Napster on a 56k modem.
djmaskell
(free version of NetZero would log you off if you were idle for too long)
starheart8
Just says active throughout the day, doesn't say anything about being productive
quzar
Just like forcing you to come to an office for that time. I'd take this over that any day.
Skrillz
Open up notepad and set a smaller padlock sideways onto the keys, it will keep printing the same letter and won't let the computer sleep.
abetteridiot
My uncle's work place has something that tracks eye-movement. He's a programmer… they all just wrote some tool that fools the tracker.
itzwibble
You mean you are video taped working?? That is so creepy how will i pick my nose then. Atleast it would say im productive xD
abetteridiot
No, not taping as such. Just checking eye movement, though likely done with a camera, but using program running that does the tracking.
ziltoShibaMonster
That's some dystopian shit
Kashija
For the software I have to use, "watching" a youtube video seems to do it.
DKB13
Playlists are the best, because they refresh the page between videos
blondeliners
Or just a live feed like the Lofi girl. Doesn’t stop
igotagifforthat
Open a pdf doc and put a notebook on the spacebar.
WanagoRed
Will opening a Word doc and putting something on the space bar also work?
igotagifforthat
Yes, but the you’ll have a doc with thousands of spaces and it can freeze up word
tr26
Put your mouse on top of an analog watch with a second hand. You’re welcome.
G0MeatCube
Why
We11thatwasC00L
So you can say it's "on the clock"
TheNoggle
because every 60 seconds the second hand would go under the mouse sensor, making it count as if the mouse moved.
GamiCross
Imagine if jobs didn't suck so much people had to resort to this...
nero4ty2
I love my job and the fact that I can just plug in a jiggler a couple days a week and have hours of free time is great
fake40nedeso
Well, your mixing up things. Imagine where management is actually capable to do their job and trust their employees. We got two policies 1/.
fake40nedeso
When working remotely you MUST NOT be offline/AFK. On site you are ALLOWED to be just that. Go figure! For example, if I have a call on 2/.
fake40nedeso
my landline/mobile I get locked out (afk) within fucking 5 minutes! If I read/write a concept or just think for longer than that, bam! AFK.
fake40nedeso
Now, as I said, on-site that’s no issue. Boss can see me thinking/talking… he doesn’t watch me at all. While working off-site he has to 4/.
fake40nedeso
report why we are "not productive" that often … really smart process
jimmythehat1
If you have an analog watch with a second hand you can put your laser mouse on top of it and it’ll move the mouse
ShaunDreclin
I don't understand why they demand you be at your computer for x amount of time. If the job is getting done, it's getting done.
fake40nedeso
Bad management. Three possibilities, one reason: Distrust. HR is incompetent; Management is incompetent; both are incompetent. Well… 1/2
fake40nedeso
It’s really just HR. If line management is incompetent, then HR did a major fuck up not training them. But no, the floor worker is at fault.
AlkeneThiol
I worked 10 hour days and Saturdays for a month. No mention. I was 20 minutes late to my "station" and it was "please come to my office."
AlkeneThiol
Old school ideals are ruining us.
AlkeneThiol
To be clear i wasn't late to a meeting. Don't work with customers. Just wasn't seen adjacent to my station. Had no planned tasks. No reason
GenXHippie
I use an app called MouseJiggler. Keeps me online all day and doesn’t actually move the mouse. It just tells Windows it’s being moved.
quzar
Really weird and patchy monitoring if you have to stay active but also are allowed to install unapproved software.
GenXHippie
I downloaded it before Covid so download and install restrictions were different. If I have to image my machine it’ll never work again.
RadonGaming
The fact so many of your are monitored this way is fucking depressing. Am I glad I have professional autonomy.
RobertTheBruise
Corporations r full of people too stupid to figure out if the work is being done unless they see individual pieces of it actually happening.
Atharaenea
And real fun when you're cleaning up everyone else's fuckups so it doesn't look like you've done any work at all
RadonGaming
At least that bit is universal. Happens in mine too.
CogYang
they're takin our jobs
RetroRicki
That damn Roomxican
MisterBrahanovich
Dey turk err jerrrrbs!
decarnatedame
TRKRJRB!
danopotato
Everybody get back in the pile!!!
Clydefrogger
We’re getting back in the pile?!
vengfish
Please, for the love of god, unless you are making insane bank, just go find another job. The more people who switch jobs right now the
vengfish
more pay goes up for everyone.
Tennox
I found a script online that presses a key periodically, so I never go idle or have to see the corporate screensaver adverts on my work comp
BadBuBBaStuff
Doot
OMFGWhatHaveWeDONE
Random script?!? Naw. Just get a box fan, turn it on, put the mouse on top.
Chimponzoo
Set your computer to presentation mode, and it will never go idle/screen saver. And the Run prompt type in: presentationsettings /start
aFadingMemory
If you have Teams you can open a meeting with yourself and change your status back to available. It keeps you from ever showing idle.
McAltec
Screensaver advertising.....installed by your job?
mynamespaul
It’s usually more “corporate memos” or general Koolaid rather than actual advertising of a product.
Frankiejoneston
On Mac, I use Caffeine. Been keeping me active for 2 years straight now
ismyusernametoolong
It's on windows too https://superuser.com/questions/329758/how-can-i-prevent-a-policy-enforced-screen-lock-in-windows
jeffois
Movemouse on Windows, can be used as a portable app
PrincessNakedMoleRat
I use that.
SmeesNotVeryGoodTwin
I would like to see someone take the FishPlays Twitch setups and use that as an input. FishPlaysCorporateWorker
fake40nedeso
Call yourself. If you have some chat/VOIP app (MS Teams, Webex and the sorts) have a meeting w/ yourself. Just as in real life: Book a 1/2
fake40nedeso
meeting room and invite others*. We invite us regularly to have a blocker nobody dares to book over just to get stuff done. Stupid 2/3
fake40nedeso
policies are stupid. You can invite others w/o inviting them. Create event offline, delete the invitation from outbox before going online
blumpk1npie
Is this something I can do without being an administrator?
grumpygirlishere
Movemouse on windows yes.
fake40nedeso
No, if your company doesn’t have monkeys for Sys Engineers they’ll have MS standard policies preventing this. Use chat apps to look present.
fake40nedeso
Just call yourself or setup an online meeting with yourself… MS Teams and Webex work like a charm. Prevent lockscreen & you're "on a call".
AdanteBloodmoon
And that script is found....?
webtekprime
Mouse move works great as well
SLCtechie
In addition to the other comment, if you’re on a Mac, you can use: caffeinate -disum
Lucallia
Autohotkey is a pretty common scriptrunner too
Sensiblyinteresting
I got an app called auto clicker. It's a life saver
davethegreatest350
Set WshShell = WScript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell") new line WshShell.SendKeys "Hello World!"
davethegreatest350
Replace new line with a litteral new line
SLCtechie
I do something similar, but I have it send the scrlock key twice quickly. That way I can have it run even if I’m typing
AdanteBloodmoon
Can you get away with adding a script through the company's security protocols?
SLCtechie
Completely depends on the security protocols. At my work, you can’t run any PS script. But I discovered that it doesn’t care about
myballshurt
Put a watch under the mouse. Its not that hard
amarie911
A watch?
AStegosaurus
Just download Mouse Jiggle.
RichardBehind
Or like mouse jiggler app...
bajapulpo7
This is funnier
iDrinkIsleLays
but what if u only got those smart watches?
EmailFail
Thanks for the pro tip
NapAllDayPartyNever
oooh i got scammed when buying a cart and they sent me 2 watches instead, now i know what to use them for!
fake40nedeso
Calling yourself or having a call with just yourself is ways simpler (MS Teams) and your status is "Busy"…
MoskauHOHOHO
are watches still a thing?
TheMoonTart
Must it have a second hand or can it just be minutes?
KoalaOnTheJuice
CarlottaVonSprockett
This gif bothers me because her top jaw doesn’t line up with her bottom jaw.
AlGoonie
Note, it has to be analog
Krossis
Do they even still make analog mice?
FoxGodRecords
No, but new old stock is out there. MS Intellimouse, Mitsumi, HP, IBM. All available brand new with PS/2 plugs.
BitchButcher
But the hasn't.
tacotaco8288
Was gonna say just get an isolating desk fan and stick it to the mouse
fake40nedeso
Folded a sheet of paper to the fan lid of my laptop and placed the mouse sideways in front of it… however calling myself is simpler (VOIP)
turomar
Oscillating and that's a great idea
tacotaco8288
Oh sorry half sleep. Been working all week
thomn8r
An "isolating" desk fan blows your BO everywhere so nobody wants to be near you
tacotaco8288
If you work from home probably not the best. In an office would work great lol
Azawarau
I have a trackball . Give me an idea
Medellei
Take the ball out and put a watch in face down over the sensor.
Kapi23
Get a laser mouse
orivalx
Buy an actual mouse
Azawarau
Over my dead body