DumpingSh1tandBeingKind2
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Mar 31, 2025 12:32 PM
DumpingSh1tandBeingKind2
37830
1158
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BuckysGambit
I got stung in my ear by a yellowjacket because the teacher told us to put our heads down & rest (was a very hot day/no AC). I hear a buzzing near my ear and started waving my hands and lifted up my head. I got yelled at to keep my head down & stop fidgeting, so I did. Meanwhile bee crawls in my ear (buzzing was so loud) and I jumped up screaming. Startled bee. Bee stings me. I get marched down to principals office to discuss my “disruptive behavior”—bee flies out—was sobbing the whole time.
SomethingAboutDragons
Being in a public school system that strongly enforces "you must ask permission to perform basic bodily functions, and can be told no." With an autistic or adhd kid whos brain could be delaying these signals until the emergency adrenaline kicks in, creates a lot of unnecessary shame in younger kids development.
erinaceus
i am in this picture and i am not sure whether i like it or not
freakdiablo
Had a very similar scenario happen to me. Was told "I should stay in school", and one day I got hit with waves of extreme nausea. Figured I just need to do that - power through it. Went to the bathroom twice to vomit. Second time another student was in there and just looked in the stall - I didn't get a chance to close the door - and asked if I was ok. He told the teacher and I got sent home for the next two days with a nasty stomach bug.
CobainsSarcoma
i am proceeding as instructed please don't shout at me
menscher
When in middle school I once had to serve detention for failing to do my homework too many times. So obviously I worked on my homework during the detention. One of the homework problems was about factorials, where we had to compute 4!, 5!, 6!, and 21!. I spent roughly 2 hours computing 21!, but there was no way to check my answer. No other student tried. When I asked about it, the teacher said I was an idiot for doing it since it was obviously not a serious task. SO WHY AM I IN DETENTION??
ShakeNbakemotherfucker
There was a really bad fight going on in the bathroom in 7th grade. I went to tell 2 yard duties I saw and one raised her finger in the "Wait, I'm talking" motion. I waited a good 3-5 minutes until they finally stopped talking and asked me what was going on. I said, "There's a fight in the bathroom," and they took off for the bathroom, saying, "Why didn't you say something sooner???" Like, bro.
(The older I get, the more sure I am that I'm on the spectrum).
lolface
I peed my pants in 5th grade because the teacher had jokingly told everyone not to interrupt her lesson this time.
zelda633000
Oh man, I did that very thing in elementary school. My teacher apparently got tired of me raising my hand to answer questions so wouldn't call on me when I had my hand raised to ask to use the restroom because I was nauseous. I ended up vomiting on my desk (I still remember my workbook having crinkled pages from being doused) and then she chastised me for not just getting up and rushing out. I no longer even wonder why I am socially awkward...
Natwitch
When I was a kid my parents always told me to be quiet whenever I got excited or loud and now I'm so terrified of making noise I have never even turned on the TV I have owned for seven years
Gerokeymaster
I like to think of myself as a smart person. I have a bachelor's and several certifications. I like to think of myself as an independent person, who owns his own home and car, and holds down a full-time job. But I'm also someone who once, at 17 years old, collapsed and had to be temporarily hospitalized for severe dehydration on a jROTC trip to an airfield because we weren't given specific instructions on how to ask for something to drink if we were thirsty, and I was afraid to bother anyone.
zylokun
Don't forget the classic where we get screamed at for following the rules and then try to follow them even harder so you don't hurt us
Bi1chPudding
My parents told me I had to wait for a break in the conversation to speak. Yet it seemed the adults never stopped talking
Justanotherimgurbrowser
I once told my son to put his pyjamas on.
He did..
On top of his clothes.
I forgot I had to tell him to get undressed first.
My mom told me I did the exact same thing when I was his age.
Shaodyn
What's irritating is when you ask for context that's not apparently for you (as a neurodivergent person) and they get mad at you for bothering them. I'd rather annoy people with too many questions than get in trouble for doing the wrong thing.
DonaldTrumpsFlaccidHairpiece
Yeah I had to learn this with my wife. There's still times where it frustrates me, because, sometimes it's just easier not saying something, if its going to take far longer to give context than I feel it's worth. It can make casual conversations difficult, and more prone to going off into the figurative weeds.
DonaldTrumpsFlaccidHairpiece
In my experience (with my wife, who is on the spectrum) giving instructions to an autistic person is like coding. You can't be like "Well its 95% right, so it's fine" you have to test for the edge cases. If you say something like "X thing always is" and it's generally true, you can get away with that statement with neurotypical peeps. Whereas, if there is 1 instance where it isn't, that autistic person is now going to see it as an untrue statement.
CoinedWatcher
Reminds me of the Yuba County 5. One of the mentally disabled found had starved to death with a pantry full of food. There is debate that he didn't know how to use the specific can opener that was in the cabin, but I get the feeling it was a lot more like this situation. If he was ingrained that he wasn't allowed to eat food that didn't belong to him without permission...
rattytom
That’s just f#%king heartbreaking. 🙁
NotTinyPancakes
On my first day of school I was told "come home and show me your finished drawing" I thought they meant as soon as I was done so I crossed a highway at the age of 5 no one noticed I was missing don't know how I survived that one
NotTinyPancakes
it's not the same as this (though I have stuff for this too) but it made me think of an event that happened nearly 30 years ago
1kaura1
I hadnt heard anyone use the phrase "crack that window" before and turns out i should ask more questions sometimes
ariania
i recall one time when i was visiting a friend. The friend light their hair on fire when we where playing in their room. I ran downstairs to the parents but they where having a chat with someone, i politely waited as i was told to not interrupt grown ups that where talking. It ended well however as my friend came downstairs and screamed.
Subtilico
And kids tend to take things more literal as they have less experience anyway, so this doubles up.
Imademyselfsquirtle
Teach your kids to question everything, even you as a parent. They deserve everything to be taught to them in order to navigate lifes micro situations.
Subtilico
I would if I had them. I like to tell small stories they completely believe, and then gradually up the nonsense level,until they call me out
AbominableMama
Very true. As a kid I freaked out on my father for taking a sip of his coffee in the car because "you can't drink and drive!" No one told me they meant alcohol. They just said drink
ShanoaRavendare
Oh good! I'm not the only one who did that!
TeofiloPaolucci
My mom's favorite phrase when leaving me or my sister alone elsewhere in the house was "Scream bloody murder if there's an emergency," so thankfully I never developed that boundary l.
trasneoir
Tell your mom I'm stealing her policy.
Subsound
Assuming kids would somehow magically know rules never communicated to them, that adults have figured out with experience, seems like a major flaw.
Kids are learning...give them at least a little break in not magically knowing things.
Adults will ignore what kids say, or not give guidance in what they say to a kid, and blaming the kid for that seems kind of like victim blaming once it becomes more serious.
RooGryphon
I got mine kid, go fuck yourself pull yourself up as I did
gobblinal
Why do so many adults haven't got the faintest idea that kid's aren't adults? And yet insist on TREATING them like fucking kids instead of real people? I do my best to treat kids like adults (a peer) although maybe that's because I think most adults are fucking morons?
Subsound
I agree there, I try to treat kids like people. Maybe a bit challenged in the manners part...but I also work with a lot of adults that are the same way.
I also grew up in the 1908s when kids were treated at best like mentally challenged pets. It was almost a right of passage to have an adult ignore a kid till everyone gets a learning experience.
gobblinal
Y'know what? That's EXACTLY what the damn issue has always been. Kids have been treated as "mentally challenged pets" rather than the humans they are, with all the basic human rights that ALL people should have. Thank you for this insight!
toolset
It's a culture of hatred towards beginners.
RooGryphon
Anyone who isn't instantly proficient in something they approve of and must think exactly as they do
Subsound
I think its more of a failure to communicate culture.
menscher
When in grad school during a lecture the fire alarm went off, but the teacher kept talking, and all the students kept taking notes. I raised my hand, and when he was at a breaking point in the lecture, I was called on. I calmly pointed out the fire alarm was going off and asked if we should evacuate.
menscher
I think that was the time the department head was sitting in on the lecture, and he kinda lost his mind at this outcome.
fred12df365
What was the outcome? Sounds like the Dept Head was ignoring the fire alarm too
menscher
Professor hesitated, and department head spoke up and said that yes, we should evacuate. [Note there was never any real danger... the classroom was on the ground floor right near the exit. Two doors from the classroom, and another exit path if necessary. Would take 5-30 seconds (depending on which routes were blocked) to get outside if an actual emergency. Oh, and the building had a history of false alarms...]
Ornado
(I am not autistic) BUT, I would do a lot of things with malicious compliance even if it hurt me, just to prove a point. When i was young i HATED "Because I said so." It isn't a reason i even agree with as an adult its stupid and lazy. I wanted a reason - any reason and one day my mom said it and then told me "To go outside and play and stay outside till i call you in." She never called me in and it rained SUPER badly. I got horribly sick because of it and when she asked why i stayed outside..
Ornado
I just responded "because you said so." She never once ever again used that with me. I talked to her as an adult a yearish ago about it and she said "Sometimes you have to know when to lose."
DeadyBearr
When I say "because I said so." It's because I told them the reason and they just didn't like it or thought it was a negotiation.
Ornado
Again, even if its not a negotiation - If my mother did not say "This isn't negotiable" Then i would try. If her first response was "because i said so" (It routinely was) I would always push back. If she gave a legitimate reason I would ALWAYS do it. If I could negotiate i would. Can i do this 10 minutes from now? An hour? Can it wait till i'm done with X thing? I refuse as an adult to say "Because i said so". I will always explain and give my reasoning and if they still don't do it...
Ornado
They will receive consequences. Now they understand why i'm asking or telling them to do it and it allows them to negotiate. If my nephew says "Okay, but can I do it in 10 minutes?" Yes. If its not done in 10 minutes - consequences. I wanted to be able to talk to my mom as a person and come to an understanding. I also just wanted to understand her reasons for why i had to do it NOW and not 10 minutes from now or because of X reason.
marsilies
I mean, are you SURE you're not on the autism spectrum? Wanting an explanation for doing things a certain way is an ASD trait. https://ca.specialisterne.com/your-autistic-employees-need-to-be-allowed-to-ask-clarifying-questions/
Corrodias
I don't think it's really neuroatypical to want a reason for things, especially commands that you dislike from an authority. That drives half of American politics.
marsilies
Did you mean neurotypical, or neurodiverse? For the neurodiverse, especially ASD, they can question almost ALL requests. Not because they don't like it, or don't want to do it, but don't understand why it has to be done, or why it has to be done that particular way. Neurotypical are more willing to accept doing a particular task a particular way without it being fully explained to them, since they assume there must be a good reason for it, even if they don't know it themselves.
Corrodias
I meant whatever you'd call the opposite of neurotypical. One person cannot be diverse, so I don't think it's "neurodiverse"...? Anyway, yes, ASD folks may be more prone to it in more situations, but my point is that though NTs are "more willing", they are not *always* willing to accept command without question. A person always demanding a reason for every task might be a sign of ASD, but I think you'll find that nearly everyone will question the need for a command now and then.
Ornado
Yes ive been tested for many things. And wanting an explanation for doing this a certain way is a very human trait. I was always an extremely adroit and insightful child and hyper aware of people. Even today I will people watch and read people, mostly for fun. As a child though I did it to be more aware of adults.
marsilies
Tested how and when, and for what? I've read stories of people with ASD getting denied a diagnosis because they were too high functioning and/or too good at masking. Asperger's was only folded into ASD in the DSM 5 in 2013. And while it's all a matter of degrees, and most people have these traits to some degree, yours sound pretty extreme.
Ornado
I was tested when I was 6/10 and 16 for Autism, Deafness, Aspergers, ADHD and ADD. All came back negative. I was just a very aware and insightful kid that genuinely just liked (and still do) observing people. And No i have no traits for any of these things...again a lot of these things are farely common traits for people.
marsilies
It's not really a "common trait" to stay outside so long you get sick just to show up the person who gave you instructions. But if you're satisfied with the test results and don't think they likely missed anything, and most importantly you're not encountering any difficulties in your social or work life due to your traits/tendencies, then fair enough. I'm no doctor, and one extreme trait does not a diagnosis make.
GentryFriedRichFillets
As an embarrassing personal example from early grade school, I messed my pants because the teacher told us it was quiet time and not to say anything and focus on work. So I couldn't ask to use the restroom.
To make things worse, no one noticed, so it happened again a few months later. That time, a teacher noticed and explained that I could, in fact, ask to use the restroom at any time.
NotTinyPancakes
This happens to my sibling often worsened by their selective mutism school was supposed to put processes in place to help with this but they still continue to ignore my sibling's visible distress
macdjord
To be fair - it's /really hard/ to catch all these edge cases that neurotypicals just pick up from context, because exceptions are fractal. E.g. 'it's always okay to speak up to ask the bathroom' doesn't apply in the middle of a fire drill, or a lockdown.
InfiniteBirds
The exact same thing happened to me in third grade because we were taking a test and I was supposed to be quiet and not talk.
InfiniteBirds
Actually this was the same class where my teacher asked why I twirled my hair all the time. I said I did it when I was nervous (because it just felt right and made me feel better) and she asked if I made her nervous. But that made me anxious because she didn’t. I really liked this teacher. *core memory* lol now I know it’s just stimming.
invaliduserformat
I peed myself and all over my chair and floor during prayer time in kindergarten (jehova's witness one, don't ask) cause teacher told me I absolutely Must wait til after prayer. I had an abusive mother who had already taught me not to "talk back" so I didn't say that it was indeed Urgent. Teacher was absolutely disgusted by me and I by her. But I remember even my abusive mother being appalled by it and having a chat with her. Was never denied bathroom access again.
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
Boy you autistic as hell
Evern
This happened in my own kindergarten class more than once. Teacher kept denying kids access to the bathroom which was *right there*, in the corner of the classroom, because she…thought they were lying? Or she didn’t want to be interrupted?
Well congratulations, now a child has spoiled themselves in front of the entire class, is crying, and you have a massive mess to clean up. The fact that she didn’t learn after the first time tells me she was not a great teacher.
Corrodias
clearly not a great learner, lol
Evern
SOILED. Damn autocorrect, I changed it back twice and it still posted as “spoiled”. I know the word I want you electronic bastard.
Ambipolar
It's basically like telling your terminator to obey the speed limit once and then it doesn't exceed the speed limit even in a situation where it might be warranted!
L4dead2
My sons mom called me irobot while my wife just called me a robot
zerogiven
Alternatively, "What? I obeyed the speed limit ONCE, as instructed."
Whoisthisdoctorwho2000
Or telling the robot barman that there are no secrets between you and your girlfriend....
poscduke
This is this vehicle's maximum speed
SlammedCarsAreRuinedCars
Did anyone else get this joke??
faethorferenc
I heard a lot of "nicknames" in my life... but never was i called a terminator.
Burke616
Should've terminated a couple people, they'd have gotten the picture right quick.
DarthVaderDidNothingWrong
I...I don't have my own terminator
Frederf
One will be assigned at you
testzero
Well, that's the purpose of a governor. To prevent a car from going over a certain speed.
Ambipolar
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Story of my life. Lacking context has fucked me so many times.
I had a doctor tell me that whatever my body was going through in puberty was perfectly normal. I held onto that and thought my period cramps were normal. They were not, in fact, normal because period cramps aren't supposed to be on par painwise with chemically induced contractions (supposedly harsher than natural labor contractions)
Told to drink x amount of water in x amount of time before an ultrasound while pregnant - in the >
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Waiting room crying from the discomfort of holding in my pee and bladder cramping, sending me into full meltdown mode. Serioulsy, pregnancy was the most traumatizing experience of my life. I didn't even know how much a baby is supposed to move inside you and didn't know my son had a large hole in his heart until I went to feed him for the first time and saw his labored breathing & retractions & I asked the nurse, is he supposed to be doing that? His lethargy in my stomach would have been a clue
lilithefrog
wow I am so sorry you had to go through all that. all of it. Sending virtual hugs
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Thank you. It's still a struggle at times, but I do have a good support system now.
lilithefrog
I'm glad to read that. wishing you the best. Please allow me to share this illustration from Paula Kirka, I think about it sometime and it calms me.
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Heck, the biggest lack of context was me thinking that it was just being a socially awkward, taciturn, unrelatable loser rather than autism and it was my son being diagnosed that set off alarm bells. So much behavior explained like puzzle pieces falling into place. What fuck
DumpingSh1tandBeingKind2
I'm so sorry you went through all that!!! How is your son now? I think, years ago anyway, a lot of undiagnosed autistic people were just seen as socially awkward and no one really thought anything of it so kids went through an even harder school life, life in general, experience than their peers. I'm so glad the signs are spotted quicker now and people are starting to understand it more
Littledirtybirdyfeet
My boy had open heart surgery at 6 months and is in great shape physically. Being held back in kindergarten, though, his AuDHD is making the academic side of early schooling very hard for him, especially writing, but shows advanced verbal skills (aside from the speech impediment) and a love for math. We don't want him to shut down or struggle unnecessarily, and repeating a grade may help boost confidence next year because he's been through it once before.
DumpingSh1tandBeingKind2
Our boys sound very similar, although it was bowel surgery with him and speech apraxia, SPD and dyspraxia, so I totally understand what you mean. You've 100% done the right thing keeping him back a year. The worst thing we can do is push them and have them shut down or give up, confidence is key! Your boy is a very lucky boy to have you as a parent! Keep being awesome kind stranger ☺️
Ialwayslookhungover
I don't know how much of that is autism vs upbringing. Some folks raise their kids to be ashamed to ever rock the boat for any reason.
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
Ok yes dear some kids are brought up that way but we are talking about autistic people right now, thats what the warning is for. You can post a warning about raising kids wrong if you want, the post is about autistic people and it doesnt detract from your thing.
empire161
This is one of those things that *might* be an autistic trait, but doing it doesn’t mean you are autistic. You could just be plain stupid.
ThatOtherMacAvoyWoman
Let’s maybe not equate autism with stupidity.
cousteau
Sometimes I feel like this is the reason I'm not sure if whatever's going on inside my head is autism or my parents being the weirdos they were. Or a combination of both. Hell, sometimes I look back and wonder how I managed to become a semi-functional adult at all.
albaboss
My nonautistic mother had a fever of 104 after her appendix burst because she couldn’t convey her pain to her very strict mother. My grandmother felt terrible (my mom almost died) but was still always very strict
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
The post didnt claim that the phenomenon was exclusive to autistic kids
RunanD
No, this is such a textbook autistic trait that analyzing the fashion in which people perceive questions/instruction is literally part of assessment.
Dismissing that is as silly as saying "I don't know how much of you feeling hot right now is your fever or just that you live in California and it's summer" when the person has a literal thermometer actively in their mouth.
Ialwayslookhungover
So only autistic kids can wait to long before going to the bathroom? Or can it also be a systematic problem with schools telling kids to be seen and not heard that bulldozes all of them regardless of where they fall on the spectrum? Not an easy question to answer.
OverthinkingThis
This. I'm like 95% sure I'm not autistic but I absolutely had similar situations where I would rather rip my own arm off than interrupt the teacher or otherwise be a nuisance. That was all because my hoke situation was very neglectful and argument prone (around me not at me) so staying quiet and keeping to myself was a survival mechanism.
stickywiggit
Same. I was often pushed to the point of exhaustion or injury because my parents didn't believe me or care. My dad took me on a 10 mile kayaking trip when I had done exactly zero kayaking and when I started to cry on mile 8 because I was in horrible pain he told me I ruin every vacation I go on with my whining. He then ditched me in the middle of the bay.
Suffice it to say, I don't know what my physical limits are until I'm incapacitated.
awesomecat42
Something being common with autism doesn't mean it's exclusive to autism, nor does it necessarily apply to every autistic person. For example, you can tell that many neurotypical people can also have trouble with unstated implications or implied details, considering that virtually every single time someone publicly speaks about autism a bunch of people come out of the woodwork to complain about how "not everything is about autism."
10001110101periodictablewithasantapieceofmind
The number of people who wrongly suspect they have autism is high, but the number of neurotypicals gatekeeping autism on the internet is so high as to be insulting to autistic people. Im assessed, diagnosed, and actively treated for ASD and I cant speak about it on the internet without people like them immediately jumping in "NON AUTISTIC PPL DO THAT TOO EVERYTHING ISNT AUTISM" like some peoples hypochondria about their mental health means there must be a crusade.
Mairoa
Yeah there's tiktok self diagnosed and the kind of self diagnosed where you took the tests and when you question if you really are, your therapist starts laughing before going "ffs bro come on"
whatspaulplayingtoday
It's both. Don't do that. Don't diminish autism.
Ialwayslookhungover
Im not. Don't attribute every peculiarity to autism. Sometimes kids are raised wrong.
whatspaulplayingtoday
Fuck off.
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
Autism is basically defined by "having a LOT of things from a list of 'negative behaviors' that most people only have 1 or 2 of." So the fact that some people have this specific trait is normal. Its just that an autistic person may have 30 out of a list of 40 things and therefor more likely to have this trait. From what I can tell a huge issue with autism is certain traits make the others worse, for example Cognitive rigidity + communication issues, a non autistic person may 1/?
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
have cognitive rigidity and simply be seen as stubborn but they are able to communicate the why they want to follow specific guidelines to the letter. Or someone who has communication issues may not have cognitive rigidity so they can 'go off script' to get what they want. An autistic person who has both would maybe misunderstand a rule but feel locked into it, or would be unable to express their discomfort with being forced out of their preferred routine. 2/?
OnlyWantToSayOneThing
Basically: You are correct, other people do deal with this. I just wanted to explain why so many posts like this feature autism: Its a shorthand to express a situation where common workarounds don't work. Basically a 'worst case scenario' 3/3
Littledirtybirdyfeet
I am autisitic with pathological demand avoidance. I am questioning of a lot of seemingly arbitrary rules or expectations. It does not extend to things like listening to doctor's orders.
Also, autisitic are typically bottom-up thinkers. We start in the details and work up to the big picture. Neurotypicals are usually the other way around. If you can't give me details, I could very likely miss the big picture. You just give the big picture and no details, I'm missing implications and context.
HowlingRollercoaster2
omfg that just explained something about why i am so annoying to train in new jobs. once i get all the ins and outs i have it mastered because i know Why, but in the meantime i can't remember anything if i don't have an understanding of Why! Just do it this way, don't argue i get told. im like, im not arguing, i asked a fucking question! ok i guess i will just ask you how to do it again and again and again because that screen means nothing to me without context.
OverthinkingThis
That's a really good way to put it. I'm not autistic but I very often end up "translating* situations to my numerous autistic friends and it's exactly that. I see the big picture but explain bottom-up. And occasionally vice versa.
It takes a lot of patience on both ends. Autistic end usually gets frustrated with people "not just saying what they mean". And neurological side gets frustrated with "how did you not know this already?". Fun times
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Yes, and there's often mutual misunderstanding. There's a study that shows NTs don't understand NDs anymore than NDs understand NTs.
I find I get the best results from people who are open to perspectives and curious because they often have more patience and want to understand. I personally get most frustrated at not being understood and being told there's implications to my words when I'm being direct.
Kehy
I've been trying to learn how to explain things using both. I feel i have to give the general big picture view, but will start in the details for step 1
Littledirtybirdyfeet
I find that starting in the details can cause some to shut down/stop actively listening. Then, starting at the top and explaining the patterns, some more linear thinkers will struggle to connect the dots that I have through my associative reasoning. I have been trying to explain things in every way possible and then half the time they take it as arguing and my reiterating as "moving the goal posts". It's exhausting.
CaptainMustache
You have to give a big picture, then lay out the path to it. "Ok, here's where we need to be, and these are the steps that are going to get us there. "
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Yes, but the steps can still be confusing. I say we do this step, and they say, "What why? How is that related?" And still leaves the onus on me to exhaustively over explain my reasoning all the damn the time
Kehy
Everything laid out on a white board, showing the big picture and smaller steps simultaneously- let no one have an easy time
Littledirtybirdyfeet
OverthinkingThis
I've found a lot of the times when people see an argument when you didn't intend any it's because one has (nearly always unintentionally) stated an opinion as fact.
I.e. "Punk rock is bad" instead of "I think punk rock is bad"
It starts the entire conversation off in an antagonistic manner and leaves people with little choices that to accept, ignore, or argue. And very few people know how to argue logically and not emotionally.
Littledirtybirdyfeet
I get the worst pushback when I am speaking on a special interest that I know a lot about. But there's a lot of personal feelings involved with religious philosophy that make people have illogical responses. Very few have just enjoyed the topic for its own sake and want to ponder or share insights.
I tend to say I think or I feel, but I can still come across as direct, and maybe that still results in feeling antognized, especially for people with an emotional attachment to their opinions.
Whodimi
I use powerpoints or draw on white boards. I stick to what is important I need to convey, and I leave the rest. Mostly, I will get follow-up questions for those in need of more details. I often ask myself, what do I want to accomplish in my communication and keep that as guidance. I need my train of thought to make stops so the people can embark or step off when needed.
Littledirtybirdyfeet
Yes, if the situation allows for prepping, I often do.
jinbee
Indeed, planes have crashed because of cultural norms that prevented the co-pilot interrupting or questioning the pilot's actions. Wording of rules and instructions matters. Culture also matters.
Leithoa
Pretty sure that's a myth.
jinbee
Pretty sure it's documented as "human factors contributing to..." in more than one air accident my dude.
Leithoa
Such as..... Cause google just shows Malcolm Gladwell dancing around racism and spreading misinformation with his brand of pseudointellectualism.
jinbee
Pseudo intellectualism? The fuck are you on. It's not a controversial comment, just because I'm not going to dig through every air crash report to turn up examples just for your satisfaction doesn't make it untrue, there have been more than enough crashes or other incidents where social norms/hierarchy from certain cultures have played a part.