BlameTheNargles
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I just found out that one of my students committed suicide this weekend. He was liked by all and a good artist. Because he was the first one in the class for his period, he was always the first one said "Good Morning!" to each day.
Im reaching out on Imgur and I'm posting this because I'm just at a loss of what I'm going to do or say come Monday morning.
Any advice or helpful things are welcome to help not just me but my other students through this as well.
mothernature94
Sometimes listening is the best thing to do. Make sure you take care of yourself too.
DinglyDanglyDingDongDiddly
i feel like you should just take the day to remember him, talk about suicide and just let the day happen.
capri2004
Here they send letters to offer grief counseling. Allow yourself to grieve too. Encourage your students to seek help when they need it.
beeaphobic
Had to deal with this last year. All I could do was tell them I loved them & to come talk with me any time about anything.
knittingphd
I had a student commit suicide last semester. I couldn't end up tell them, I had a counselor do it. I let them stay if they wanted or leave
PigsWeGetWhatPigsDeserve
Maybe you could tell them that suicide doesn't end you pain, it just passes it on to others. I read that here a couple of days ago.
GuernseyBeaver
It's hard. When one of my students killed themselves I found solace in helping the very confused friends he left behind. 1/2
GuernseyBeaver
I got them all copies of a book called "When a Friend Dies: A Book for Teens About Grieving & Healing" 2/2
Tomyris
Try to stay strong for the kids. It made things much harder to see our teachers break down crying in the middle of class.
Surgenor
Share with them your feelings. It's ok to hurt. They need to know that
MrPredator
I always remember is Psych 101 from college. It was quick to dispel the myth that people who commit suicide talk about it beforehand.
shitglitter
My school also lost a student this year. We were told that students needed to continue a sense of normalcy/routine through grieving. I told
shitglitter
My students briefly to seek help from counselors/myself should they need it and that anything they're feeling is normal. We didn't pause our
shitglitter
Lessons. It was hard but the kids were surprisingly tough
devriley26
This happened to me last year. No one thing is the right thing but I told my classes how much they meant to me and that I was always there 1
devriley26
If they needed to talk. Our school brought in counselors so I decided to give normalcy in my room and carried on with class but told them 2
devriley26
They could leave anytime to talk to a counselor. Good luck @OP I'm so sorry this happened.
joot
Hand out travel tissues! Some may only find out when they get to school. Be ready to escort kids in breakdown to the counselor.
Biccolo
I had a student that took his life this summer at the ministry that I work in. It's hard. Totally get it. Remember them <3 much love friend.
Idontunderstandyou
Friend did this, no one addressed it. Just fucking tell them you are at a loss and don't know what to say or how to make sence of it
bomklatt
Keep saying "Good Morning"....
RoncoFoodDehydrator
There's nothing to say. Nothing you can say. It's a thought that is ALWAYS there. It's not a choice, it's a solution. And it sucks balls.
sono2015
Don't pretend like everything's fine.That class period is going to be rough but talk to your students about the positive things that 1/2
sono2015
Student did and how the students are never alone and it's okay to seek help from an adult, a friend, etc. 13minutes.org has resources. 2/2
Kyrorayne
It was the nargles
mariemcd
Address it immediately - say how sorry you are - post links suicide/distress help sites. Move on.
MattTimesTwenty
littlekittypaws
Tell them you're struggling to find the right thing to say or do. You don't have to have all the answers. Ask the kids what they need; 1/2
littlekittypaws
2/2 they'll probably tell you. Have a counselor available. I'm so sorry for your loss. ❤️, a fellow teacher
thisgoesto11
Agreed. Don't pretend to have answers when you don't. They'll appreciate that more.
jarjarbinksisthesithlord
So much this. I love when people admit that they honestly don't know what to do or say. Shows me that not everyone has things under control1
jarjarbinksisthesithlord
Which can help the group feel like they're not alone in their lost-ness
PurityOfEssence
step one, it's not your fault. people hide their pain very well. just take care of yourself and your other students.
BrickOodie
Make sure people know to NOT run from those emotions. You HAVE to experience the tragedy and sads to respeck the goods.
Boredagain
I'm a psychotherapist. My advice, just listen to the kids. It's also ok to say "I don't know" when you don't. My heart goes out to you.
craz3d
So much of this. Fuck "it'll be okay" or "don't worry." I mid school we once saw a family through the windshield. Kids in our class died. 1/
craz3d
Well, grade level. We didn't actually know them. Knew they went to our school. For me, whatever. People die. People see loss differently.
Boredagain
Hardest thing for humans to do, is to sit with someone and their pain. We want fix it, make sense of the senseless, just love and listen.
Fiadh
Depression lies, and it claims so many lives. Awareness and support are key, and I'm so blessed to have had both in my life. Fight!!!
Fiadh
We fight by talking, by reaching out, by taking meds, by exercising, by telling it to fuck off every single day.
Fiadh
P.S. - I am here for anyone who wants to talk. Battled it for over 20 years. Fuck depression.
CrimeBrulee
Don't hide from it. Suicide withers in the light. Drag it out from the shadows so it doesn't take anyone else. Say it, encourage them to
CrimeBrulee
Say it. He suicided. He didn't "do the thing". This is one of those times we have to feel awful to keep living.
oopsydsy
The school system will provide support. If kids go to your class, they want "normal". Give them normal. If you can't, tell a supervisor.
mrwthisusernameisavailble
This!!!! Acknowledge, but move forward.
MintMission
My experience was very different. When my classmate died, I appreciated being with my classmates in class, but having a break from studying.
joot
Also been through this and I agree. "Jay is dead... now turn to page 46," is not appropriate. They need space to discuss and recover.
joot
Keep in mind some may only find out about it at school. Don't assume they knew, or want to be in class just because they showed up. Some
joot
may also overestimate their coping ability. A kid breaking down in class doesn't have to stay.
likefrostwild
I know you are a teacher and not a counselor, but give students a chance to talk and grieve. See if you can get the school counselor there.
TheAlHassan
As a student, I feel like a counselor being there would make it more tense. If they're friendly with their teacher, that should be enough.
wutarethis
a counselor most likely has more training on how to comfort someone vs a teacher. they know how to handle a situation vs a teacher
GingerSwan
Back in 5th class my teacher was willing to talk in private with me when my sister died. She was a very nice teacher.
lighterletter
@OP Open discussion where the class speak out their thoughts & feelings, end with everyone saying one good/awesome thing about the student.
forte10
Came to recommend this.
Bloodseeker
There were two suicides +1 death at my high school, school counselor never talked to anyone nor would any of the students have talked to him
Shearny28
I am a school counselor and I find this odd. That's one of our main roles, or should be.
TheAlHassan
Coming from a student, it's always awkward when a counselor is involved. We don't know you, yet we're supposed to open up? I'd rather talk
TheAlHassan
to a teacher who I have a relationship with, someone who I know would care, and more importantly someone who I am comfortable with.
Shearny28
I agree with you. Counselors should build a relationship with their students, it is sometimes hard with the huge number of students on
ScrotuclesTheBallbearian
The happiest are the ones who usually need the most support. It's so backwards. I'm sorry OP
Emangelo
Are you sure about that statement?
ScrotuclesTheBallbearian
In many cases yes. Hiding depression and shame can make a person appear to be very happy.
Emangelo
I just thought he meant all happy people are depressed so I was confused
ScrotuclesTheBallbearian
No harm no foul friend. Your wording was easy to confuse.
Fiadh
This has been me for all of my adult life. When I tell people I've battled MDD, they usually say, "What? You're so happy-go-lucky." 1/2
Fiadh
...and I am when I'm medicated. I've made it, though! I'll always fight.
ScrotuclesTheBallbearian
That's exactly what we are. Fighters.