anlyin
141894
2456
61
Mar 20, 2018 10:42 AM
anlyin
141894
2456
61
Ang1992
I heard an employee say "and that will be on my Wal-Mart rewards mastercard, because thats how good my life is going." Very sarcastically.
vaders501fist
I heard a guy destroy a toilet really loud before in a walmart.
SterlingValor
I recently saw a woman wearing one of those hentai hoodies walking around in Walmart so I believe all of these.
Drunkfu
I once took my nephews to a park after having those vanilla starbuck bullshit drinks, they punched each other in the junk until they vomited
LannistersSendTheirRetards
I told my four year old he couldn't get McDonald's yesterday and he said "I'll break your head and throw you in the trash"
JakeFist
My contribution: "You know how when your big toenail get too long, how it be hurtin?"
DoYouGuysNotHavePhones
Milchsteak
I believe that the US is just a trashy reality TV show for Europe.
mritty
Do all of these people not realize they themselves are also Walmart People?
PolarHailStorm
The Memphis name is from Memphis Raines, Cage's character in Gone in 60 Seconds. Which is a great, enjoyable movie.
rtlm565
Anythings laundry detergent if you're brave enough
krayzee
heard in Walmart - Mom to 2 year old. "if you don't put that back i'm going to punch your face in, yeah that's right.. i'm black, not white"
bigredfiretruk
but seriously now, why cant i use shampoo as laundry detergent? ive never tried but my walmart brain thinks it will work
dustwindbun
It works fine, it's just more expensive, unless you have rejected shampoo. I do delicate laundry in shampoo with a smell that didn't suit me
valvarsson
65vs 55 inch. Area increase x2 vs diagonal. Schampoo in washing machine, couldwork?? I could ez ask bout turkey ribs. I dunno about food.
shalmdi
With ya. A lot of these I can create the scenario where they are legit questions. Others? I've said those kind of things to be funny. Meh.
makdog
I've used shampoo to wash clothes when we were out of detergent.
ElioNope
#10 What emotion or response are we meant to have here? "Ha ha, someone's asking a question and trying to learn! What a normie!" ???
RandomEarthling
#4 isn't funny when you have been so broke you have had to use $1 bottle of shampoo as shampoo, dish, & laundry soap.
manicconstructive2x4
Turkey ribs are real, cut from the shoulder and called ribs
adventurea
its a prison trick to use shampoo as laundry soap *THE MORE YOU KNOW!*
Bricklemeyer
Also useful for backpackers.
dustwindbun
And on delicate/hand-wash things, especially things like wool - wool is basically sheep hair after all.
busstamove14
Is it bad that I read every one of these in a southern accent?
shalmdi
I did too, but mainly because I am from the south. Lot of idiots here. I learned to hide my accent, so I can surprise people with my stupid.
Zher01
Damn! I missed national side chick day this year...
Harambaegel
You must be the main event?
ArtOzz
Upvote if you read "Actual conversation overheard in Walmart" each and every time.
bluepopsicles
I'm sure there were more of us
tinytimbeckybright
unfortunately
ProperPlanningPreventsPissPoorPerformance
#29 *you're. But if this was an actual quote from a lady in Walmart then I believe that she probably would spell it this way anyway
overpolitemidwesterner
My favourite thing about Walmart is I cannot tell which of these are made up because I believe all could be heard in there
JohnBluehill
This is why when I go to the US to shop, I go to Target instead of Walmart.
overpolitemidwesterner
Target is the upper middle class Walmart. Good choice
opcrystal
Target is where you to go to spend more money to not go to walmart
JohnBluehill
Money well spent.
potatnia
What in the world is a "hatchimal"?
JugOfVoodoo
It's a toy that comes packaged in an egg. The more expensive ones are motorized so they can hatch out of the egg by themselves.
JugOfVoodoo
And they talk and you can take care of them. Basically the new Furby.
potatnia
Huh. The more you know!
skysailor93
These guys act like they're better than Wal-Mart shoppers, but they're in Wal-Mart too.
kittykat
Exactly what I was thinking.
magicrhombus
Did you know that not all men from Florida are Florida Man?
amagiciannamedgob
This. Just... don't go to Walmart.
Torsie
Agenuineandfriendlydudewhossometimesanasshole
*Takes fleshlight out of the dishwasher*
iamthisguy247
Nice and warm.
ImgursLibertarian
w... what happens? Does the temperature in the dishwasher go above the glass transition temperature of the polymers causeing deformation?
DoYouGuysNotHavePhones
the cum inside it gets all over the dishes
ThatQuietlySmirking
Yeah, probably. Supposed to be hand-wash only, preferably with their silicone restoring stuff. ...so I've been told.
andrewcs962718
I think he just meant he burned his dick off
thrymn
I don't think you're using a fleshlight if it's made of glass... I think that's called a dildo.
ImgursLibertarian
Polymers (read: plastics) have a temperature at which they go from brittle to rubbery behavior. I was actually wrong in that it causes...
ImgursLibertarian
deformation, that would be at or around the melt temperature not the glass transition temp. For more info:
ImgursLibertarian
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glass_transition
DirectorBright
Soap kills it. Soap and rough treatment. You're supposed to just rinse with cold water then with hot water.
DatSEAsian4ever29
Sort of like the real thing lol
TomZarekVP
what about Fleshwash?
DirectorBright
It works, apparently, but I mean I don't see a need for it unless you somehow got the thing really dirty. Everything involved is water based
VektreX
.
iamthisguy247
Jerking off to the moms in Bad Moms, would be a pretty easy challenge.
ImgursLibertarian
I almost went pro. One time I did it to the last 3 minutes of Little House on the Prarie.
[deleted]
[deleted]
iamthisguy247
Funny I clicked on that gif and the little heart was already green. I guess I have already favorited that one.
sundaymondayhippyday
KingOfTheAnarchists
rabbiebabbie
What's bad moms?
iamthisguy247
https://m.imdb.com/title/tt4651520/
rabbiebabbie
Wow that's not what I expected lol
TheSnarkyDruid
Wait... the guy hunts, but he's a vegetarian? How does that work?
LastoftheMcKettrickSupplicants
He likes the killin'
mritty
some vegetarians are vegetarian for health reasons, not "ethical".
TheSnarkyDruid
Fair point. But I guess I just don't like the idea of people hunting animals for sport. Like if they eat the animal, sure whatever.
TheSnarkyDruid
It's my own hang up about the thing I guess
mritty
Nor do I, but that doesn't mean it's confusing that people do it.
doggetofftheqcekmty
I definitely call my father a doofus on a regular basis.
princesskageebageeba
Same, especially when he's being a doofus.
steviedrawsdinos
Right? I read that one like "okay, when does this get funny?" But it didn't.
MetaSomma
Totally normal conversation, IMO
nasferi3
definition of doofus plz
thepenisbIue
strangledbyaturtleneck
Same. I mean his official title in my phone is Moose Leader. He's definitely a doofus
highfidelityfood
strangledbyaturtleneck
His favorite animal is the moose. The appropriate greeting of the Moose Leader is to stick your thumbs to the side of your head, fingers
strangledbyaturtleneck
Splayed out to simulate antlers, and yell "MOOSE!" in a high pitched tone of voice.
highfidelityfood
Nerdygasm
That's incredible.