Eywaah
289808
9393
208
My first Post
pls don't kill me
Nov 23, 2016 3:57 PM
Eywaah
289808
9393
208
pls don't kill me
GasBandit
"Do you want 2 broccoli or 5?" "None." "DAMMIT INTERNET YOU LIED TO ME"
kimjongunntran
My mother tried a variation of the broccoli trick when i was a kid, i still said none, mother said it wasn't an option, i said i made one.
Jayyce
@MobaNR Might have to use a few of these on you or Nat..
NiceFicus
I've noticed one of my coworkers trying this bullshit on me. She's annoying as hell and now I'm distrustful of her.
SamArt53
These are AWESOME! If you can fake sincerity you've got it made!
richdog89
This may be your first post, but it's about the 5th for this image.
Tunaccat
Need to ask the boss for a raise but too scared? Rob him at knife point! Knives are fairly cheap, concealable and readily available.
BenSnow97
The problem with earworms is that most of the time I don't know the ending of the song
PianoMan2112
I'll test broccoli trick in other situation; will ask SO if she wants to fuck me or blow me.
CairoLen
Tried it on my wife. She said "up?" Huh, says I, so clever. She says "I can fuck you up or blow you up."
grimoirine
I have tried the "Pathfinder", with minimal effect that can easily be explained as people normally getting out of my way
rikoschett
"I don't wanna go to bed!" "Do you want 2 or 5 broccoli sticks?"
rikoschett
I'm gonna expand this to myself when browsing imgur late at night.
thugmasterk
I am a behavior analyst and this all completely true. And the broccoli trick is my favorite, it's called a shared control procedure!
ThatDwarfWhoStealsYourOpinions
Trying to get your stalker to yawn might just be the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard.
jbu26
I mimic subtle things that people do as part of my own personality.... Now the attraction one makes sense.
TheBlackBolt
These are not the droids you are looking for
SirGrimble
The broccoli trick also works with presidential candidates.
AlwaysUpvoteDogs7
Some if this is hard being an introvert
BoooLZ
Thanks now I can't get the earthworm Jim song out of my head
twight
Or! Don't be a manipulative prick towards another human being. Always treat everyone with respect. And, "mind tricks" are easy to notice.
Bysiyan
TIL I've unconsciously been stalking everyone in any room I step in.
btimup
As a dude from Toronto, bullshit on the walking in a straight line. People are friggin oblivious and selfish
wherearemytesticles
Step 1: Talk to people...
usernamenotabailable
I used all these tricks on the friends I used to have before I started using these tricks on them.
dwilson0725
If you used all of the "tricks", you'd end up being that socially inept weirdo. Every convo about you would start with "that weird guy/gal."
CairoLen
Want to be rid of a stalker? Start preaching the Bible at the whenever you see them NO ONE likes that. They'll leave you alone.
tablesidegrain
Never understood the dollar one.. who bids more than 99 cents for a dollar?
ajsg8r
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dollar_auction
dude1990
Another stalker detector. If they broke into your house and are trying on your undies.
JamesBondsGirl
Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabbs?
KittyLeader
But your undies are more comfortable than mine :(
NiceCatchBlancoNinoTooBadYourAssGotSacked
Damn it man, you've got kitties to lead. Leave those panties alone.
KittyLeader
But kitties in panties... Just imagine it
NiceCatchBlancoNinoTooBadYourAssGotSacked
STOP.
KittyLeader
Not even the cute ones with bears on them??
notsuddenlyandunexpectedly
*sits next to you* ... Say that again
CanonInTheStreetsFanonInTheSheets
SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS! *pulls out steel warhammer*
jherazob
... But softly
Vanderhugen
*screaming loudly* You're an incompetent, repulsive, and useless human who's greatest gift to the world would be killing yourself
LETSGETIT300NIGGA
Oooh, I'm stealing that!
ShesMyWomanNordStyle
Whose*, you damned degenerate!
Vanderhugen
Sry English is my first language it's very hard to speak it correctly
OrangeFlavours
The dollar trick will only work on morons. Who's going to actually participate in it when they know they'll lose money?
RedroverRedrover
I wouldn't even agree to play. My bid would be 0. It's obviously some kind of setup, come on.
EXiSTENCEthreshold
No. You can make it a 5 dollar bid. People think it's easy money.
OrangeFlavours
Unless they're a moron, past the point of 2 dollars they're gonna go "I'm paying twice the price of it hell no".
easline
There was a study similar to this with a different object, the bets will rise above the value because no one wants to give his money to 1/
easline
2/2 an other person for free. They give money but dont get anything. Despite that people dont wanna lose.
kcgingerbeard
Be the first person bid .99
SoMuchPooPooSon
Why? So that you make 1 cent? Good job.
edgareplekjekk
Then the next guy bids 1.01 now you have to bid over that or you will have to pay 99 cents for nothing.
kcgingerbeard
But who would bid $1.01 to win a $1. That's something only an asshole would do... yeah I'd probably do it
EmotionallyMagnificient
Like most advice, these work on a portion of the population.
kriositivity
Wanna finish this off at my place? *nods profusely*
SuperFluffyRabbitEater
Not the nodding one. Like of someone is really standing up to what they think such a small gesture as a nod won't change their mind.
DunderMifflinInfinity
I feel/hope most people aren't stupid enough to fall for the dollar auction trick.
Cere4l
id hope so too, but i know that hope is wrong
galaciel21
Tried the broccoli trick. Was told, "No stalks. I don't eat broccoli, thank you."
Heysuckmybatarang
Same for a kid I was babysitting. "None, thanks." Lol
Junktrunkjunkie
People are different no one rule applies to everyone
PolarHailStorm
Yawning is only really contagious if you feel comfortable with the person yawning. It doesn't work with strangers.
idontenglishsorry
I also disagree, it happens to me with people at work that i have never met
PolarHailStorm
Please check some of my comments in the chain. I've linked a couple sites with studies done on them to back my statement.
idontenglishsorry
even though I appreciate the effort I will have to decline such offer since im just too lazy for shit
PolarHailStorm
You should always make that effort. Impacted bowels are no joke.
jaysong
I disagree completely. Go watch some videos of people yawning on the net and tell me you dont yawn
GermanCanuck
I've yawned at every one of these comments mentioning yawning.
Isbjorn
Me too
PolarHailStorm
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201403/why-is-yawning-so-contagious - Their video test didn't make me yawn at all.
GoneMadBrb
Me neither. I think because all the yawns looked fake. Watching someone yawn for real makes me yawn.
PolarHailStorm
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-yawn-says-about-relationship/ - This approves an emotional connection. Strangers do nothing.
jaysong
You must have aspergers
PolarHailStorm
Anyone who disagrees with you must have aspergers? That's a weird way of discussing topics mate.
PolarHailStorm
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-yawn-says-about-relationship/ - I've also found this, which approves an emotional connection
IdiotMcNoobtard
The broccoli trick doesn't work with the smartasses I've inflicted upon the world
Whydidsiriusblackhavetodie
Oh I didn't completely understsnd what you said until I retread your comment again.. >_< my comment wasn't even slightly related. Sorry >_<
justino37
Not with that username and attitude, it won't.
Whydidsiriusblackhavetodie
It works in restaurants when they ask u if u want juice or coffee. Don't like both but you end up choosing as if you have to pick either one
RedroverRedrover
My 3 year old just says "none" when neither option appeals to him. Yeah. It's annoying as hell. And if you ask him to do something he /1
RedroverRedrover
doesn't want to do? "No thank you". Little bugger. /2
IdiotMcNoobtard
I don't actually see it as a negative, in the long run at any rate.
RedroverRedrover
Yeah, I'm sure it'll help him in the future. Sucks right now though!!! :)
IdiotMcNoobtard
No it doesn't! *lays flat on the ground* No no no no no no no no!
sillybananas
yeah, but you're the parent. "Would you like to choose, or would you like me to choose for you?" You have the final say.
RedroverRedrover
Well, depends. If you're up for a tantrum, then yeah, you can just say tough luck. There have been days where I had to carry him to the /1
RedroverRedrover
car with no coat and no boots, kicking and screaming. I prefer to try to get him to agree, things go much more smoothly then. /2
sillybananas
sometimes you just have to sit through a few tantrums before they realize they don't work ;)
RedroverRedrover
We've been through dozens. He doesn't seem to care if they don't work. And he throws them when he knows we can't ignore him. Like in the /1